caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on Nov 29, 2019 22:07:04 GMT
First of all, this post will be cryptic because of identity, mine. Haha anyway, DNA can’t be wrong, right? Especially if the person has the papers from Ancestry and you are a 97% match and one of your siblings is a 99% match to said person? One of my siblings got a huge surprise but will not confirm nor deny the person in question is 99% related. I found out last night but not from sibling because sibling is refusing to talk. I saw the Ancestry DNA and our names were on it. I have talked to said person and wow, what a story.
Has this happened to anyone else? Could this be a scam in any way? I’m trying to be careful.
|
|
|
Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Nov 29, 2019 22:10:48 GMT
I'm confused by the terminology of 97% match and 99% match. I guess that could be what Ancestry says but it seems odd...
My sister and I share 55% of our DNA; based on that, 23andMe predicted we are sisters, but they don't say there's a match percentage. The results for all DNA "relatives" is expressed as a shared % of DNA, and a predicted relationship, most of which are third to sixth cousins, which may or may not include steps removed.
Maybe someone who has done ancestry can tell you if that is how the results get reported...
|
|
|
Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Nov 29, 2019 22:12:46 GMT
These tests are certainly airing the laundry.
I haven't done any tests because I know there are some "new" relatives out there and honestly, don't want to rock the boat.
I have three friends who have found 1st cousins and siblings they didnt know about.
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Nov 29, 2019 22:17:05 GMT
First of all, this post will be cryptic because of identity, mine. Haha anyway, DNA can’t be wrong, right? Especially if the person has the papers from Ancestry and you are a 97% match and one of your siblings is a 99% match to said person? One of my siblings got a huge surprise but will not confirm nor deny the person in question is 99% related. I found out last night but not from sibling because sibling is refusing to talk. I saw the Ancestry DNA and our names were on it. I have talked to said person and wow, what a story. Has this happened to anyone else? Could this be a scam in any way? I’m trying to be careful. As in you have another sibling???
|
|
rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,656
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
|
Post by rodeomom on Nov 29, 2019 22:20:52 GMT
Yes, this happened to me. My brother had a child he was never told about. She came up as a match to me.
|
|
NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
|
Post by NoWomanNoCry on Nov 29, 2019 22:23:07 GMT
I got contacted back in May from someone who said they were my sister...very very long story short she’s not but I did find my half brother because of this (been looking for him my whole life) and found a first cousin as well. I regret reaching out to these people...I should have just left it all alone. I wanted family so bad and I feel very rejected. Oh well.
|
|
Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,636
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
|
Post by Rhondito on Nov 29, 2019 22:24:51 GMT
I found out I have a surprise sister. My dad had a daughter he never knew about. I'm confused by the terminology of 97% match and 99% match. I guess that could be what Ancestry says but it seems odd... My ancestry doesn't show results this way.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 8:06:33 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2019 22:33:49 GMT
First of all, this post will be cryptic because of identity, mine. Haha anyway, DNA can’t be wrong, right? Especially if the person has the papers from Ancestry and you are a 97% match and one of your siblings is a 99% match to said person? One of my siblings got a huge surprise but will not confirm nor deny the person in question is 99% related. I found out last night but not from sibling because sibling is refusing to talk. I saw the Ancestry DNA and our names were on it. I have talked to said person and wow, what a story. Has this happened to anyone else? Could this be a scam in any way? I’m trying to be careful. Ancestry does NOT show my sibling relationship as a percentage. For my sister and I it shows "sister Shared DNA: 2,660 cM across 67 segments" My mom shows up as Parent/Child Shared DNA: 3,473 cM across 53 segments. My grandson shows up as Close Family–1st Cousin Shared DNA: 1,693 cM across 56 segments I think you are getting scammed.
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Nov 29, 2019 22:35:49 GMT
First of all, this post will be cryptic because of identity, mine. Haha anyway, DNA can’t be wrong, right? Especially if the person has the papers from Ancestry and you are a 97% match and one of your siblings is a 99% match to said person? One of my siblings got a huge surprise but will not confirm nor deny the person in question is 99% related. I found out last night but not from sibling because sibling is refusing to talk. I saw the Ancestry DNA and our names were on it. I have talked to said person and wow, what a story. Has this happened to anyone else? Could this be a scam in any way? I’m trying to be careful. You should go into your Ancestry and check what shows up for you. The only way Ancestry has your name and DNA is if you did it. That person should show in your info, if they think there is a relationship. The only way someone shares 97% or 99% DNA with someone else is if they are an identical twin - the match would be 100% - and then some dna/genes mutated along the way. Full blood siblings share around 50% of DNA. Half-siblings and nieces and nephews share around 25%.
|
|
|
Post by malibou on Nov 29, 2019 23:31:59 GMT
We figured this was coming, we just didn't see that it would be mil that did the test and filled in family info on a family tree.
Dh was a prolific sperm donor for about 18 months in college some 30+years ago. We were recently contacted by a girl that is his daughter. We're guessing it's a matter of time before others start coming up. Fortunately this girl dug around and found my husband rather than contacting my very conservative in-laws. They don't have a clue what dh was up to in college and I doubt he wants to explain it to them now. We are also going to have to let our son know what's up. Poor kid, his third sentence once he started talking, was By the way I don't want brothers and sisters for Christmas or my birthday. The place where dh donated told him he was quite popular, and probably has an upper limit of 30 offspring.
The girl said she was mostly interested in health info. She did include a picture of herself at age 5 and a current photo. She is about 34 years old. She doesn't look like dh, or our ds, but there is a family resemblance to dh brothers daughter.
I can only imagine the stories that these DNA tests have revealed.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on Nov 29, 2019 23:32:43 GMT
I have done Ancestry but I don’t have an active account right now. Sibling has also done an Ancestry test. It’s definitely interesting.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Nov 29, 2019 23:52:36 GMT
I got contacted back in May from someone who said they were my sister...very very long story short she’s not but I did find my half brother because of this (been looking for him my whole life) and found a first cousin as well. I regret reaching out to these people...I should have just left it all alone. I wanted family so bad and I feel very rejected. Oh well. I'm sorry it turned out that way.
|
|
|
Post by jcm28 on Nov 30, 2019 0:12:39 GMT
Yes, I found out that my brother had a daughter that was given up for adoption. He has passed so we can’t find out details, like did he know about her. The birth mother will have nothing to do with her. We had a family reunion in June where she got to meet her “new” family, including a half brother and half sister. I was quite delighted to have a new niece!
Janet
|
|
|
Post by ~summer~ on Nov 30, 2019 0:24:37 GMT
I found out I have a cousin - she tracked us down through 23 and me. My uncle never knew he had a daughter...
|
|
|
Post by tracyarts on Nov 30, 2019 0:33:03 GMT
I'm hoping to find some close family members through the Ancestry and 23 and Me registries. But so far only a possible 2nd cousin and a bunch of possible 3rd cousins and beyond.
I do know a man who found out that he was the child of an affair after doing the Ancestry DNA test. It blew his family apart. Half his siblings are "team elderly widowed mother is a saint and never would have done that to daddy, the test is wrong" and the other half of his siblings are "team fuck you you bastard shame-child, you're no brother of ours, we disown you".
Definitely it can expose some secrets.
Whatever or whoever I find is going to be welcome knowledge. I was adopted in what was apparently a gray market adoption, and possibly a very shady dealing. All the people who knew the details of the adoption took it to their graves and all I have is rumors that were passed along through the family. Any legal documents related to the adoption were destroyed, so my investigation hit a dead end years ago. If I'm going to learn anything about my biological ancestry it will be through these DNA test registries.
That high of a percentage match though? That's wild. Either it's a mistake, or it's something life altering.
|
|
Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,967
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
|
Post by Sarah*H on Nov 30, 2019 0:38:49 GMT
I have two close friends who have ended up with big surprises; in both cases it has been completely positive. I don't want to share too many personal details which aren't mine to share but in one case it was somewhat similar to the sperm donor situation (but not exactly) and he's gone from being an only child to having multiple siblings with whom he has a shocking amount in common.
|
|
|
Post by genealopea on Nov 30, 2019 1:36:36 GMT
Caro, I think that even if your Ancestry account is inactive, you can still access your DNA results. That person should come up as a match, and you can see for yourself how many cMs you share, just to be sure.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 8:06:33 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2019 1:58:27 GMT
I have done Ancestry but I don’t have an active account right now. Sibling has also done an Ancestry test. It’s definitely interesting. You can still access your information and new matches. You just can't do any searching in the document archives.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Nov 30, 2019 2:30:40 GMT
I know someone who learned the grandfather she knew was not her bio grandfather. Another friend, who knew she was adopted, found her birth family and sisters. Both stories had happy endings.
|
|
|
Post by **GypsyGirl** on Nov 30, 2019 2:40:54 GMT
Ancestry does NOT show my sibling relationship as a percentage. With their latest update, it does though you have to look for it. When you look at a DNA match, you see "Shared DNA #cM across #segments". Immediately following that is a circle with an 'i' (information). Click on that and you get a pop up box that shows Percentage match and a list of possible relationships. Just looked at it for the match with my aunt and I get 100% with her, and aunt listed under the relationship possibilities. I have never seen this before and am pretty sure it's a more recent addition. The match for my first cousin shows 99% that she is a 1st cousin, Great-grandparent, Great-grandchild, Great-aunt/uncle, Grand-niece/nephew, Half aunt/uncle, Half niece/nephew. And 1% that she is a 1st cousin 1x removed, Half 1st cousin, 2nd great-grandparent, 2nd great-grandchild, 2nd great aunt/uncle, 2nd great-niece/nephew, Half great-aunt/uncle, Half grand-niece/nephew. It's really kind of mind boggling the amount of detail they are able to add now!
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on Nov 30, 2019 3:25:09 GMT
Ancestry does NOT show my sibling relationship as a percentage. With their latest update, it does though you have to look for it. When you look at a DNA match, you see "Shared DNA #cM across #segments". Immediately following that is a circle with an 'i' (information). Click on that and you get a pop up box that shows Percentage match and a list of possible relationships. Just looked at it for the match with my aunt and I get 100% with her, and aunt listed under the relationship possibilities. I have never seen this before and am pretty sure it's a more recent addition. The match for my first cousin shows 99% that she is a 1st cousin, Great-grandparent, Great-grandchild, Great-aunt/uncle, Grand-niece/nephew, Half aunt/uncle, Half niece/nephew. And 1% that she is a 1st cousin 1x removed, Half 1st cousin, 2nd great-grandparent, 2nd great-grandchild, 2nd great aunt/uncle, 2nd great-niece/nephew, Half great-aunt/uncle, Half grand-niece/nephew. It's really kind of mind boggling the amount of detail they are able to add now! This is what I saw. Sibling is 99% to said person and I am 97%. It is legit. It’s amazing what these DNA tests can show, there are no secrets anymore. Too bad for sibling who does not want to talk about it. But it will come out but not by me.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Nov 30, 2019 3:50:09 GMT
I will say one of the nice things about being female is there is no way I have a child out there I didn't know about
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Nov 30, 2019 5:26:28 GMT
Ancestry does NOT show my sibling relationship as a percentage. With their latest update, it does though you have to look for it. When you look at a DNA match, you see "Shared DNA #cM across #segments". Immediately following that is a circle with an 'i' (information). Click on that and you get a pop up box that shows Percentage match and a list of possible relationships. Just looked at it for the match with my aunt and I get 100% with her, and aunt listed under the relationship possibilities. I have never seen this before and am pretty sure it's a more recent addition. The match for my first cousin shows 99% that she is a 1st cousin, Great-grandparent, Great-grandchild, Great-aunt/uncle, Grand-niece/nephew, Half aunt/uncle, Half niece/nephew. And 1% that she is a 1st cousin 1x removed, Half 1st cousin, 2nd great-grandparent, 2nd great-grandchild, 2nd great aunt/uncle, 2nd great-niece/nephew, Half great-aunt/uncle, Half grand-niece/nephew. It's really kind of mind boggling the amount of detail they are able to add now! So, the percentage is actually the level of certainty (of the proposed relationship), not the amount of DNA in common? If so, that would make much more sense.
|
|
|
Post by **GypsyGirl** on Nov 30, 2019 5:53:57 GMT
So, the percentage is actually the level of certainty (of the proposed relationship), not the amount of DNA in common? If so, that would make much more sense. Exactly! Thanks for putting it in the right words!
|
|
|
Post by missymarlin on Nov 30, 2019 7:55:34 GMT
I suspect I have at least a dozen unknown siblings. My father was apparently a very "social" person. My mother knew he had at least 3 kids from 2 marriages before she married him. My parents divorced when I was 9 mos old because my father (who I have no memory of and was raised thinking he was dead) showed up with his pregnant girlfriend and wanted my Mom to let her move in to the house with us. After I got a letter from the grandmother I didn't know I had telling me the father I didn't know I had died, I applied for his Social Security benefits and got them even though he ignored the child support order for 17 years. When I was a junior in college my monthly benefit was reduced by 80% when 6 younger children in another state came on to my claim. Soooooooooo, I have very mixed feelings about doing any DNA Testing. I have had congenital medical conditions all my life including intestinal torsion as a child and teen and am currently a terminal multi cancers patient, so I feel kind of bad about not sharing medical info with someone who might need it, but I really don't feel physically nor mentally up to going thru the entire rigmarole. I try to tell myself I am not a bad person for feeling like this.
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Nov 30, 2019 13:07:05 GMT
I suspect I have at least a dozen unknown siblings. My father was apparently a very "social" person. My mother knew he had at least 3 kids from 2 marriages before she married him. My parents divorced when I was 9 mos old because my father (who I have no memory of and was raised thinking he was dead) showed up with his pregnant girlfriend and wanted my Mom to let her move in to the house with us. After I got a letter from the grandmother I didn't know I had telling me the father I didn't know I had died, I applied for his Social Security benefits and got them even though he ignored the child support order for 17 years. When I was a junior in college my monthly benefit was reduced by 80% when 6 younger children in another state came on to my claim. Soooooooooo, I have very mixed feelings about doing any DNA Testing. I have had congenital medical conditions all my life including intestinal torsion as a child and teen and am currently a terminal multi cancers patient, so I feel kind of bad about not sharing medical info with someone who might need it, but I really don't feel physically nor mentally up to going thru the entire rigmarole. I try to tell myself I am not a bad person for feeling like this. You are NOT a bad person for not wanting to do DNA testing and open yourself up to contact from a multitude of people you don’t know. (((Hugs)))
|
|
|
Post by MsChiff on Nov 30, 2019 13:28:10 GMT
I learned that my grandfather and his girlfriend had a son we didn't know about.
Unfortunately, the son passed before we found out, but I do have 4 first cousins in Australia. I've met the son's wife and daughter (and her family) and hope to one day travel to Australia to meet the others. While I find it interesting and they're very nice people, I don't think of them as "family" because for the first 50 years of my life, I didn't know them and we don't spend much time together due to the distance.
|
|
teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,749
Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
|
Post by teddyw on Nov 30, 2019 15:40:33 GMT
Yes, this happened to me. My brother had a child he was never told about. She came up as a match to me. My sister and I are waiting for this eventually. My brother told my mo Who is now deceased that he impregnated some women in the service.
|
|
|
Post by malibou on Nov 30, 2019 16:18:34 GMT
I suspect I have at least a dozen unknown siblings. My father was apparently a very "social" person. My mother knew he had at least 3 kids from 2 marriages before she married him. My parents divorced when I was 9 mos old because my father (who I have no memory of and was raised thinking he was dead) showed up with his pregnant girlfriend and wanted my Mom to let her move in to the house with us. After I got a letter from the grandmother I didn't know I had telling me the father I didn't know I had died, I applied for his Social Security benefits and got them even though he ignored the child support order for 17 years. When I was a junior in college my monthly benefit was reduced by 80% when 6 younger children in another state came on to my claim. Soooooooooo, I have very mixed feelings about doing any DNA Testing. I have had congenital medical conditions all my life including intestinal torsion as a child and teen and am currently a terminal multi cancers patient, so I feel kind of bad about not sharing medical info with someone who might need it, but I really don't feel physically nor mentally up to going thru the entire rigmarole. I try to tell myself I am not a bad person for feeling like this. You have nothing to feel badly about. You owe them nothing. I will keep you in my thoughts as you navigate thru your medical issues.
|
|
mimima
Pearl Clutcher
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 4,995
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
|
Post by mimima on Nov 30, 2019 16:20:57 GMT
It has happened in my family too - a half brother. I am pleased that he has felt a sense of completion that was missing. I am saddened that it was a difficult discovery for one of his siblings who is dealing with shame and sadness.
|
|