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Post by theroadlesstraveledp on Nov 30, 2019 16:24:59 GMT
Something similar happened to my cousin. She was surprised to learn she had siblings. There is an age difference so she's older than me. She and her found siblings seem to get along okay. I’m assuming this because they have known for a while. They had a great time when she came to California. I’m not sure how she found out. I am assuming through a DNA test. I will say that I was surprised to meet her but in a good way earlier this year. She is too funny and we talk quite a bit.
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,412
Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Nov 30, 2019 16:28:52 GMT
I have a friend who was the surprise. Her parents could not have children so they adopted her and her brother (not bio siblings). Both were raised their whole lives knowing they were adopted.
Her dad gave everyone a dna test as a gift and she discovered she had a bio mom and siblings and they lived in the next city over! Unfortunately bio mom never told her children she had given up a child for adoption so it was a bit of a surprise. But they did have a Thanksgiving celebration with the whole group.
My friend's brother also found a match to his bio family, however they are in the UK so not as close.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Nov 30, 2019 19:48:27 GMT
Happened to me. I now have a new cousin. We came up as a match, then she put 2 & 2 together. Ended up having a DNA test done through her doctor and now my uncle has been put on her birth certificate. It was a good ending in this situation... he thought he had no biological children. Now he does!
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Post by Cupcake on Nov 30, 2019 21:15:31 GMT
My mom found a half brother last year, he is a year younger than her! He even lived in the same city and went to the same high school, graduating a year behind my mom. They are pretty sure my grandfather knew (and saw him on occasion) but not sure if my grandmother knew. I have a feeling she did, but both passed away a long time ago so we will never know for sure. The new half brother looks so much more like my grandfather (his biological dad) than my mother’s other two brothers!
Lisa B.
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Post by nellej on Nov 30, 2019 22:19:37 GMT
First of all, this post will be cryptic because of identity, mine. Haha anyway, DNA can’t be wrong, right? Especially if the person has the papers from Ancestry and you are a 97% match and one of your siblings is a 99% match to said person? One of my siblings got a huge surprise but will not confirm nor deny the person in question is 99% related. I found out last night but not from sibling because sibling is refusing to talk. I saw the Ancestry DNA and our names were on it. I have talked to said person and wow, what a story. Has this happened to anyone else? Could this be a scam in any way? I’m trying to be careful. The 'has the papers from Ancestry' bit sounds dodgy to me - all my Ancestry dealings have been online.
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Post by nellej on Nov 30, 2019 22:54:20 GMT
Also, how did this person make contact with you, if not through the Ancestry website?
Consider contacting Ancestry.com to ask for their advice.
(I seem to vaguely recall reading about a similar scenario here this year).
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Dec 1, 2019 3:41:48 GMT
I suspect I have at least a dozen unknown siblings. My father was apparently a very "social" person. My mother knew he had at least 3 kids from 2 marriages before she married him. My parents divorced when I was 9 mos old because my father (who I have no memory of and was raised thinking he was dead) showed up with his pregnant girlfriend and wanted my Mom to let her move in to the house with us. After I got a letter from the grandmother I didn't know I had telling me the father I didn't know I had died, I applied for his Social Security benefits and got them even though he ignored the child support order for 17 years. When I was a junior in college my monthly benefit was reduced by 80% when 6 younger children in another state came on to my claim. Soooooooooo, I have very mixed feelings about doing any DNA Testing. I have had congenital medical conditions all my life including intestinal torsion as a child and teen and am currently a terminal multi cancers patient, so I feel kind of bad about not sharing medical info with someone who might need it, but I really don't feel physically nor mentally up to going thru the entire rigmarole. I try to tell myself I am not a bad person for feeling like this. You have nothing to feel bad about at all. You are a victim of your dad’s poor choices. There are family members in my family who will be upset when this situation comes to light, and it will, if not now then later. I feel a burden knowing this information and keeping it a secret. It isn’t my story to tell but it affects many in my family. I think I wish I didn’t know and it angers me against sibling but again, I find it hard to believe sibling and I came from the same two parents.
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 1, 2019 3:58:22 GMT
I suspect I have at least a dozen unknown siblings. My father was apparently a very "social" person. My mother knew he had at least 3 kids from 2 marriages before she married him. My parents divorced when I was 9 mos old because my father (who I have no memory of and was raised thinking he was dead) showed up with his pregnant girlfriend and wanted my Mom to let her move in to the house with us. After I got a letter from the grandmother I didn't know I had telling me the father I didn't know I had died, I applied for his Social Security benefits and got them even though he ignored the child support order for 17 years. When I was a junior in college my monthly benefit was reduced by 80% when 6 younger children in another state came on to my claim. Soooooooooo, I have very mixed feelings about doing any DNA Testing. I have had congenital medical conditions all my life including intestinal torsion as a child and teen and am currently a terminal multi cancers patient, so I feel kind of bad about not sharing medical info with someone who might need it, but I really don't feel physically nor mentally up to going thru the entire rigmarole. I try to tell myself I am not a bad person for feeling like this. I have a friend who was adopted when she was six months. She didn't do the DNA testing, but a sibling did and the adoption agency gave out some information that they should not have. She ended up finding out that there were at least 12 kids with 5 different dads and the kids kept getting adopted (in Germany) and the kids who ended up living with mom were the last few kids. They had no idea that mom was so active and had so many partners. The kids from this family have guilted my friend into trying to get money to pay for their mom's care. My friend wants zero to do with them, but she did connect with a half brother also in the US who isn't into paying for this lady's care.
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Post by shevy on Dec 2, 2019 20:27:41 GMT
First of all, this post will be cryptic because of identity, mine. Haha anyway, DNA can’t be wrong, right? Especially if the person has the papers from Ancestry and you are a 97% match and one of your siblings is a 99% match to said person? One of my siblings got a huge surprise but will not confirm nor deny the person in question is 99% related. I found out last night but not from sibling because sibling is refusing to talk. I saw the Ancestry DNA and our names were on it. I have talked to said person and wow, what a story. Has this happened to anyone else? Could this be a scam in any way? I’m trying to be careful. Yes. Last Christmas, my husband received a brother 6 months younger than him (52) for Christmas because the long lost brother had completed Ancestry and tracked my husband down. It was weird, happy, sad, interesting, lovely, strange, appalling, curious, unbelievable. And it's still going on today.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 18:46:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2019 22:16:54 GMT
I was hoping this would happen. I would love if my grandfather had more children. My grandmother divorced him after my father was born. Or I wish that I had other siblings.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Dec 3, 2019 18:41:44 GMT
First of all, this post will be cryptic because of identity, mine. Haha anyway, DNA can’t be wrong, right? Especially if the person has the papers from Ancestry and you are a 97% match and one of your siblings is a 99% match to said person? One of my siblings got a huge surprise but will not confirm nor deny the person in question is 99% related. I found out last night but not from sibling because sibling is refusing to talk. I saw the Ancestry DNA and our names were on it. I have talked to said person and wow, what a story. Has this happened to anyone else? Could this be a scam in any way? I’m trying to be careful. Yes. Last Christmas, my husband received a brother 6 months younger than him (52) for Christmas because the long lost brother had completed Ancestry and tracked my husband down. It was weird, happy, sad, interesting, lovely, strange, appalling, curious, unbelievable. And it's still going on today. My husband's uncle has 2 children who are 3 months apart. He didn't find out about either one of them until they were around 8 years old. He ended up raising one of them - we went to Thanksgiving one year & there was an extra kid at the table.
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Post by shevy on Dec 3, 2019 19:01:30 GMT
My husband's uncle has 2 children who are 3 months apart. He didn't find out about either one of them until they were around 8 years old. He ended up raising one of them - we went to Thanksgiving one year & there was an extra kid at the table. My Husband's 'new' brother sent a long letter the end of November, in German (they are both German and my husband grew up in Germany) to him, but sent the same letter in English to my brother's sister. It was weird way to start out. Both of them talked to the new brother on the phone in December. Then he called on Christmas and asked if they wanted to meet and my husband said sure, we should arrange that. His new brother said "Great, I"m in your town for 2 days. Where do you want to meet?" He wanted full access to his medical and military records. He wanted my husband and his sister to sign releases and provide this. Along with a death certificate for their Dad. Then he wanted my husband and his sister to sign for him to be able to get a green card/visa to be here in the US for an extended period of time. When they said no, the new brother disappeared from their Facebook and Twitter accounts and wouldn't answer texts or his phone for them.
It was radio silence for about 7 months and then he asked to friend on Facebook again.
Strange and weird situation.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Dec 3, 2019 19:12:51 GMT
Yes. I'm a Newfoundlander and it's no joke that we are pretty much all related (sometimes in multiple ways). Every once in a while, someone pops up more related than they should be.
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
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Post by pridemom on Dec 4, 2019 0:59:38 GMT
I suspect I have at least a dozen unknown siblings. My father was apparently a very "social" person. My mother knew he had at least 3 kids from 2 marriages before she married him. My parents divorced when I was 9 mos old because my father (who I have no memory of and was raised thinking he was dead) showed up with his pregnant girlfriend and wanted my Mom to let her move in to the house with us. After I got a letter from the grandmother I didn't know I had telling me the father I didn't know I had died, I applied for his Social Security benefits and got them even though he ignored the child support order for 17 years. When I was a junior in college my monthly benefit was reduced by 80% when 6 younger children in another state came on to my claim. Soooooooooo, I have very mixed feelings about doing any DNA Testing. I have had congenital medical conditions all my life including intestinal torsion as a child and teen and am currently a terminal multi cancers patient, so I feel kind of bad about not sharing medical info with someone who might need it, but I really don't feel physically nor mentally up to going thru the entire rigmarole. I try to tell myself I am not a bad person for feeling like this. I have a very similar story, except my father died when I was 7, so my mom finally got some support and SS Survivor Benefits aged out at 18. I met my bio half siblings 18 years ago, before DNA tests were easily available and it’s been a great thing. We joke that there has to be some more siblings in Vietnam from his two tours.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,231
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
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Post by Sue on Dec 4, 2019 1:25:11 GMT
A second cousin, who has been my genealogy buddy for many years, received a message through Ancestry DNA from a woman whose father is very closely related to my cousin. Seems the father was born during the second world war in a city in the west. Through research my cousin pinpointed her own father as this woman's father's father. In other words, he is my cousin's half brother. But the story doesn't end there. The daughter of this newly discovered brother was able to get some information from the agency her father was adopted through and she discovered that he was one of a set of triplets! So my cousin has another 2 half-siblings somewhere in the world. She is hoping they will also be found through DNA testing some day. Unfortunately, her newly discovered half-brother has decided he's not interested in meeting my cousin. And time is short since the triplets were born during the war and are in their 70's now.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 18:46:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2019 6:53:26 GMT
I suspect that father in law may have more children, just by the way his will is written.
Jane is my legal wife and she is the mother of my legal sons John, joe, Jess and Jim. That screams to me , I have more kids.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Dec 4, 2019 8:08:43 GMT
I suspect I have at least a dozen unknown siblings. My father was apparently a very "social" person. My mother knew he had at least 3 kids from 2 marriages before she married him. My parents divorced when I was 9 mos old because my father (who I have no memory of and was raised thinking he was dead) showed up with his pregnant girlfriend and wanted my Mom to let her move in to the house with us. After I got a letter from the grandmother I didn't know I had telling me the father I didn't know I had died, I applied for his Social Security benefits and got them even though he ignored the child support order for 17 years. When I was a junior in college my monthly benefit was reduced by 80% when 6 younger children in another state came on to my claim. Soooooooooo, I have very mixed feelings about doing any DNA Testing. I have had congenital medical conditions all my life including intestinal torsion as a child and teen and am currently a terminal multi cancers patient, so I feel kind of bad about not sharing medical info with someone who might need it, but I really don't feel physically nor mentally up to going thru the entire rigmarole. I try to tell myself I am not a bad person for feeling like this. You are not a bad person for not testing. Is there a way to write out the medical issues and contacting someone from wherever so they might be able to have the medical info without your personal info? You might be able to help save a life.
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Post by katlaw on Dec 4, 2019 14:54:47 GMT
I got contacted back in May from someone who said they were my sister...very very long story short she’s not but I did find my half brother because of this (been looking for him my whole life) and found a first cousin as well. I regret reaching out to these people...I should have just left it all alone. I wanted family so bad and I feel very rejected. Oh well. Sorry that happened to you. I am adopted and have always been on the fence about looking for any family. I am happy with the family I ended up with and always think I might find family that I wish I had not found. I do know a couple people though that have had great experiences finding long lost family. OP - I am not sure I understand how the 97% and 99% thing works. It does sound like you found a family member. I do not think the DNA can be wrong, from what I have read.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Dec 4, 2019 16:29:40 GMT
just this last week i found out i have two second cousins in england (they are both irish)
it's been fun getting to know them
ours is nothing nefarious or a suprise - just another branch of our family tree
gina
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 4, 2019 16:52:36 GMT
I feel a burden knowing this information and keeping it a secret. It isn’t my story to tell but it affects many in my family. If the match is showing on your account, it is your story isn't it? I know my dad has/had at least one bio half brother out there and always wonder what can of worms will be opened if I did a DNA test.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Dec 4, 2019 16:59:55 GMT
I'm refusing to take a test because I don't want to find out I have more relatives. I can barely stand the ones I have now, I don't need ANOTHER fucked up sibiling.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,747
Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Dec 4, 2019 17:12:33 GMT
just this last week i found out i have two second cousins in england (they are both irish) it's been fun getting to know them ours is nothing nefarious or a suprise - just another branch of our family tree gina I have 2nd cousins pop up all the time but I don’t have access to their locations. Some of them have my maiden name. My sister hasn’t contacted any of them yet. I wish my mom was still alive so we could have her dna tested. My friend adopted a son who was 1 of 5. He is adamant he won’t be doing this. He doesn’t want to know “people who didn’t want him” my friend says it’s up to him to decide. He already has Crohn’s disease and alcohol dependency and he’s in his mid 20’s.
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Post by yivit on Dec 4, 2019 23:47:16 GMT
I'm thinking about getting a kit for my nephew for Christmas. My sister just passed away suddenly a couple of weeks ago and she and her late DH had a daughter before they were married who was given up for adoption in 1989. Brandon asked me at the celebration of life last week if I had any information on her and I had to tell him I didn't but that I thought that his mom had kept in touch with the family at least for a while and might have some paperwork squirreled away somewhere. He has a much older special needs half-sister (from his dad's 2nd marriage) but I don't think there's been much if any contact with her or her mother in several years.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,231
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
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Post by Sue on Dec 5, 2019 0:25:27 GMT
I'm thinking about getting a kit for my nephew for Christmas. My sister just passed away suddenly a couple of weeks ago and she and her late DH had a daughter before they were married who was given up for adoption in 1989. Brandon asked me at the celebration of life last week if I had any information on her and I had to tell him I didn't but that I thought that his mom had kept in touch with the family at least for a while and might have some paperwork squirreled away somewhere. He has a much older special needs half-sister (from his dad's 2nd marriage) but I don't think there's been much if any contact with her or her mother in several years. My sincere condolences on the loss of your dear sister. May she rest in peace.
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Post by pjaye on Dec 5, 2019 0:35:15 GMT
I'm hoping it will happen to me. I know for a fact that my bio father had more children with several other women, there's 4 we know of, 3 boys and one girl. That information was from when I was 2yo, so he still had plenty of time to make more! I'm waiting for a half brother/sister match to pop up - but nothing so far.
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Post by homeschoolmom on Dec 6, 2019 4:14:56 GMT
My fil has a not so secret second family that we've known about for years. Long, long story. I monitor dh's notifications and figure it's just a matter of time before I see dh's half sister pop up.
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Post by honeyb on Dec 6, 2019 4:36:39 GMT
This happened to us. My mom has a surprise half sister.
We looked up her kids on Facebook and her son looks just like me. It was creepy.
My mom sent her a letter (they went to school together and she suspected her dad had a relationship with her mother). The woman confirmed that she wondered the same. She told her kids over 4th of Kuly weekend. We've never heard from them since.
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Post by mom on Dec 6, 2019 5:08:06 GMT
I'm thinking about getting a kit for my nephew for Christmas. My sister just passed away suddenly a couple of weeks ago and she and her late DH had a daughter before they were married who was given up for adoption in 1989. Brandon asked me at the celebration of life last week if I had any information on her and I had to tell him I didn't but that I thought that his mom had kept in touch with the family at least for a while and might have some paperwork squirreled away somewhere. He has a much older special needs half-sister (from his dad's 2nd marriage) but I don't think there's been much if any contact with her or her mother in several years. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope he is able to find any siblings he might have.
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Post by betsyg on Dec 6, 2019 22:28:29 GMT
Yep, my husband jokes that I got him a sister for Christmas last year when a sibling popped up after he did his ancestry test. It’s ended up being a good thing. She was adopted out by her mother and her father was my FIL. They got to connect and meet before he passed away this fall.
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