brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Dec 5, 2019 22:03:10 GMT
Yes!! The fear and the lack of control. The entire reason I had her start therapy was because the things she couldn't control would cause so much anxiety. And she couldn't figure out a way to cope. Therapy seemed to help but it also seems so much worse this time around. We notice that when dd's medical issues are good/okay, her mental health is better. When the medical is front and center, the mental health is worse. Also for dd having her on Seasonique bcp has done wonders. 3 months on, 1 cycle. 3 months, 1 cycle. So only 4 cycles a year. They were super long and heavy and made the medical conditions spike. And when she isn't busy, her mental health needs spike. Yeah she's already on bc but because of acne. She likes it because although she does get it each month, it's only 3-4 days. And it's practically cleared up all of her acne. My dd is very active and I'm sure that's part of the stress. We've tried to tell her to maybe drop one or two activites that would possibly give her a bit more free time but she won't hear of it. Because in her words "I want to get into a good college and these things look good on the applications". I told her it won't matter what college she gets into if her mental health is suffering.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Dec 5, 2019 22:04:25 GMT
Ugh, I'm sorry. My whine kind of took over the dinner thread.
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Post by floridasunflower on Dec 5, 2019 22:06:27 GMT
So many virtual hugs going out to all of you who need them. Parenting teens is difficult at best but made more so by mental health issues. And the holiday stress just compounds it all the more. We're here to lend strength to get through these trials so hang in there.
Dinner tonight is chicken. I'm thinking Pad Thai but I reserve the right to change my mind before the actual cooking begins. Happy TGIF-eve.
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Post by scrapmaven on Dec 5, 2019 22:13:32 GMT
@ This has been some kind of week, I really haven't felt like myself. It's hard to describe. My Christmas tree is sitting in the living room undecorated.
DH put ours up last Tuesday so I could decorate it and we could take our Christmas picture with DS for our cards. I just couldn't get into it so I got the clear glass bead garland on it and put bows that go on the stairwell and fake poinsettia blooms that will end up in a vase, on the tree so we could take the picture. In the meantime DH got the offer accepted so I've been doing all the paperwork and I had been achy from the shingles vaccine and my arm still hurts. So the tree will join your tree on the undecorated bench. The Birdhouse Lady, I'm sorry that you're out of sorts today. Some days are hot cocoa and rest days. ((((HUGS)))).
cadoodlebug, I am going to be a HUGE buzzkill, but I say this in order to properly warn you. Schedule your next Shingrix dose for a time when you have 2-3 days w/nothing important planned. The 2nd dose is harder on the body. I was told that by both my doctor and pharmacist and they were right. However, it beats having shingles. Gentle ((((HUGS)))) my friend.
@sunnycalimom, I'm sorry that your dd's IVIG was postponed. Living w/chronic illness just sucks. You never can count on anything can you?
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Post by KelleeM on Dec 5, 2019 22:36:12 GMT
We had a preholiday potluck type party at lunch today but since they started lunch an hour late (in order to give us extra time) my boss and I got bagels and cream cheese for morning break. Lunch was a multicultural smorgasbord of tasty foods of which I ate too many. I’m currently in bed and may not bother with dinner tonight. If I’m hungry I’ll have eggs or something simple. Dd can handle fending for herself and dgd.
Since tonight’s thread has such a mental health focus I won’t feel badly about dumping my issues here as well. My dd is 29 and is struggling but will not get help. She says she doesn’t have time and she’s somewhat right but I think she could manage if she wanted. I don’t think it’s doing Ally any good to have a perpetually sad grandmother and a mother who fluctuates between wanting to hold her and hug her constantly and then doesn’t have a moment’s patience for her. It’s not a great environment here lately. Tomorrow I’m picking Ally up at noon and she and I are going away (not too far, about an hour and a half) to stay at a hotel for the weekend. We’re going to visit with a former coworker of mine who has a daughter about 10 months younger than Ally. The hotel has a pool and the girls are both looking forward to swimming and playing together even though they’ve never met...they’re so cute! I’m hopeful dd will have a better attitude after finally having some time alone...she’s been desperate for this for months.
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Post by scrapmaven on Dec 5, 2019 22:40:11 GMT
brandy327 , do not apologize. We're all friends here and we support eachother. Life isn't all roses and singing birdies. Sometimes it's downright shitty. Don't be afraid to share here. When you feel really down that is the best time to jump in and post. It's difficult to parent a teen w/neuro/psych stuff. I have an add/ocd/tourettes son. It took a lot of therapy, medicine and patience. Now at 22 he's so much better and we made it through those angry and difficult teen years. I am being open about it, because he is open about it w/others. His instinct is to help other people who suffer. Out of bad, came some good. He had a lot of therapy and we joined him. DH and I had sessions w/his therapist for the benefit of ods. I used to refer it as "talking behind ds's back for an hour each week". Really, it was parenting a neuro/psych kid 101. Those sessions were so helpful. She helped us to become better parents to ds. It also brought my sons closer together.
I've been in individual therapy for years. It's my soft place to land. When I feel hopeless I can go in there for an hour and just be sick Scrapmaven and talk about my fears, anger, etc. It's an hour of much needed self care. brandy327 , I highly recommend it. Also, give your dd's something to look fwd to. That's vital. If I always know that I have something to look fwd to then I can't be as depressed. The smallest things can make your dds happy and so can the big stuff. Make sure that they have one thing to look fwd to that will keep them looking up rather than down. leannec , family therapy at this point might be the best thing for you and your gals. Their anger is normal and to be expected, but it's still hard and makes you feel bad about yourself. You and your dh had to do this for your relationship, but the girls are probably still dazed. You all deserve happiness and wholeness. As an adult w/chronic illness I understand the difficulties that your dd's face. Anytime you want me to listen to them or just answer questions let me know brandy327 or @sunnycalimom . The big fear w/chronic illness is the fear of never feeling well, again. In my case, that is my reality. It won't change for the better, because there is minimal funding for my diseases. I don't waste time on hope, but that doesn't mean that I'm hopeless. Instead I choose to focus on the good moments. Today I can barely function. So, I'm planning my holiday baking and holiday online shopping. Otherwise, I'd spend the time focusing on how rotten I feel. Then I'd start focusing on never being well and the rabbit hole would be next. Your dd's can live w/chronic illness and thrive, but therapy and support are a necessary part of the deal. Each of us feels like we're the only one who is suffering, but in reality many people suffer w/chronic illness and anxiety. Self-care can include many modalities, including therapy and for me, acupuncture as well as other things.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 25, 2024 14:41:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2019 22:46:01 GMT
@ DH put ours up last Tuesday so I could decorate it and we could take our Christmas picture with DS for our cards. I just couldn't get into it so I got the clear glass bead garland on it and put bows that go on the stairwell and fake poinsettia blooms that will end up in a vase, on the tree so we could take the picture. In the meantime DH got the offer accepted so I've been doing all the paperwork and I had been achy from the shingles vaccine and my arm still hurts. So the tree will join your tree on the undecorated bench. The Birdhouse Lady, I'm sorry that you're out of sorts today. Some days are hot cocoa and rest days. ((((HUGS)))).
cadoodlebug, I am going to be a HUGE buzzkill, but I say this in order to properly warn you. Schedule your next Shingrix dose for a time when you have 2-3 days w/nothing important planned. The 2nd dose is harder on the body. I was told that by both my doctor and pharmacist and they were right. However, it beats having shingles. Gentle ((((HUGS)))) my friend.
@sunnycalimom, I'm sorry that your dd's IVIG was postponed. Living w/chronic illness just sucks. You never can count on anything can you?
Nope! She had labs and a UA to look at her IgG, prtoein levels, enzymes, ect. Next week if her IgG is still under 500 she will most likely go back on IVIG with changes
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desertgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,646
Jun 26, 2014 15:58:05 GMT
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Post by desertgirl on Dec 5, 2019 23:04:17 GMT
I love all of you so, so much.
And I respect you. Your sadnesses run together with a deep wisdom you all show in your posts. I learn from that wisdom.
I’d be so honored to be your neighbor and lend a listening ear and bake you your favorite pie. I’d even buy the ice cream and whipped cream.
Alas, that won’t happen. But the arrows are always here, ready to launch with a new Kohl’s throw, soft and peaceful and full of caring. And I hear that those throws are washable!
I love all of you.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Dec 5, 2019 23:46:54 GMT
cadoodlebug, I am going to be a HUGE buzzkill, but I say this in order to properly warn you. Schedule your next Shingrix dose for a time when you have 2-3 days w/nothing important planned. The 2nd dose is harder on the body. I was told that by both my doctor and pharmacist and they were right. However, it beats having shingles. Gentle ((((HUGS)))) my friend. Haha, it WAS my second dose! The first one was a breeze and I knew the second one might come with nasty side affects. I was getting close to the end of the 6 month deadline and realized there was NO perfect time to get it. I can handle the arm hurting but am glad the rest of the achy stuff is gone. And, yes, it beats having shingles. <shudder>
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Post by leannec on Dec 6, 2019 0:32:02 GMT
Oh, desertgirl ... I love how you love us It really means a lot to me
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 6, 2019 0:46:56 GMT
I. Am. Frustrated AF.
I wish we had a good word to use for moronic parents. Dumb effer? We have a garbage problem and can’t get rid of it fast enough. He makes more of it and doesn’t get rid of it or should I say he has his gardener fill up the garbage can of crap and in the meantime we have household garbage to throw out. He can be so GD obtuse with is problem.
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,738
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Dec 6, 2019 1:34:18 GMT
scrapmaven oyaki donburi sounds delicious/perfect for a dreary day like this has been. I have never made it but may have to look into doing so in the future. Sorry for all the peas' troubles. Seems like a lot of kid concerns. Being the mommy never ends, does it? Hugs to all. I ran out tonight to pick up a couple Christmas gifts I ordered and stopped at a local Chicago hot dog spot. I'm not a big hot dog fan, but once in awhile a Chicago Dog with all the fixins just hits the spot. as AussieMeg said, I've gotta return to eating better. I've fallen off the wagon lately. HoHoHo and all that.
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Post by lucyg on Dec 6, 2019 1:41:12 GMT
oh my gosh, so much trouble in people’s lives today. Wishing the ill ones better and the sad ones happier and the overwhelmed ones some peace. My DD, who was easy and well-behaved from the moment she was born, went insane at age 11 and subjected us to a difficult, 10-year adolescence, complete with several different mental health challenges. I am happy to report that she is a lovely adult today, but honestly there were times when I was really just DONE with her. You have my sympathy, brandy327 and leannec. And to bklyngal62 , you’ve been on my mind today. Sending love. I didn’t end up making the vegetable beef soup last night, so it’s on the stove now. We’ll be eating shortly.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,296
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Dec 6, 2019 1:46:02 GMT
Delta Dawn, dumb effer had me 😅. My friend calls people fucktards. Another funny name I say in my head from time to time. Hopefully your dad is less irritating to you. lucyg, that hamburger, rice, cabbage dish I posted about the other day was delicious. I just made it on the stove top.
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Post by lucyg on Dec 6, 2019 1:49:16 GMT
Thanks, smcast! I already pinned the recipe.
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Post by scrappintoee on Dec 6, 2019 2:52:33 GMT
Wow.....I'm sending lots AND LOTS of (( hugs )) to all of you !!!! Are y'all familiar with the quote: "Parenting teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree! " Like scrapmaven said---- we are friends--- no one needs to apologize for venting, crying, whining, screaming, etc. Let's all book our flights to go visit desertgirl ----she's gonna make us pies AND whipped cream AND ice cream, plus---we will FINALLY get to see all her awesome arrows!!! AussieMeg ....OMG, you made my DAY with that adora-bull vid yesterday !!!!!!!! DH and I have watched it twice! We ended up having mac & cheese balls and chips. hmmm......that sounds like a GREAT dinner to meeee (well, occasionally ). P.S....I've never heard of or eaten a mac & cheese balls----sounds delightful !!!
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 6, 2019 2:54:32 GMT
I'm trying to process my own feelings while considering theirs ... it's hard ... the four of us are going to sit down this weekend and hash things out ... they can't treat me this way ... simple as that. Hugs, leannec. I'm glad all four of you are sitting down together and you & exDH are on the same page. IME, kids of any age hold out hope their parents will reconcile even long after the divorce is official. It is still really early in the process for your kids.
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Post by lucyg on Dec 6, 2019 2:54:50 GMT
scrappintoee, you know that’s a Jewish bulldog, right? ha hahaha haha
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,740
Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Dec 6, 2019 3:27:00 GMT
Asian chicken salad and a bearclaw from Panera. It was good!
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Post by scrapmaven on Dec 6, 2019 3:29:56 GMT
cadoodlebug, I am going to be a HUGE buzzkill, but I say this in order to properly warn you. Schedule your next Shingrix dose for a time when you have 2-3 days w/nothing important planned. The 2nd dose is harder on the body. I was told that by both my doctor and pharmacist and they were right. However, it beats having shingles. Gentle ((((HUGS)))) my friend. Haha, it WAS my second dose! The first one was a breeze and I knew the second one might come with nasty side affects. I was getting close to the end of the 6 month deadline and realized there was NO perfect time to get it. I can handle the arm hurting but am glad the rest of the achy stuff is gone. And, yes, it beats having shingles. <shudder> Pain feels so good when it's over.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Dec 6, 2019 12:28:06 GMT
brandy327 , do not apologize. We're all friends here and we support eachother. Life isn't all roses and singing birdies. Sometimes it's downright shitty. Don't be afraid to share here. When you feel really down that is the best time to jump in and post. It's difficult to parent a teen w/neuro/psych stuff. I have an add/ocd/tourettes son. It took a lot of therapy, medicine and patience. Now at 22 he's so much better and we made it through those angry and difficult teen years. I am being open about it, because he is open about it w/others. His instinct is to help other people who suffer. Out of bad, came some good. He had a lot of therapy and we joined him. DH and I had sessions w/his therapist for the benefit of ods. I used to refer it as "talking behind ds's back for an hour each week". Really, it was parenting a neuro/psych kid 101. Those sessions were so helpful. She helped us to become better parents to ds. It also brought my sons closer together.
I've been in individual therapy for years. It's my soft place to land. When I feel hopeless I can go in there for an hour and just be sick Scrapmaven and talk about my fears, anger, etc. It's an hour of much needed self care. brandy327 , I highly recommend it. Also, give your dd's something to look fwd to. That's vital. If I always know that I have something to look fwd to then I can't be as depressed. The smallest things can make your dds happy and so can the big stuff. Make sure that they have one thing to look fwd to that will keep them looking up rather than down. leannec , family therapy at this point might be the best thing for you and your gals. Their anger is normal and to be expected, but it's still hard and makes you feel bad about yourself. You and your dh had to do this for your relationship, but the girls are probably still dazed. You all deserve happiness and wholeness. As an adult w/chronic illness I understand the difficulties that your dd's face. Anytime you want me to listen to them or just answer questions let me know brandy327 or @sunnycalimom . The big fear w/chronic illness is the fear of never feeling well, again. In my case, that is my reality. It won't change for the better, because there is minimal funding for my diseases. I don't waste time on hope, but that doesn't mean that I'm hopeless. Instead I choose to focus on the good moments. Today I can barely function. So, I'm planning my holiday baking and holiday online shopping. Otherwise, I'd spend the time focusing on how rotten I feel. Then I'd start focusing on never being well and the rabbit hole would be next. Your dd's can live w/chronic illness and thrive, but therapy and support are a necessary part of the deal. Each of us feels like we're the only one who is suffering, but in reality many people suffer w/chronic illness and anxiety. Self-care can include many modalities, including therapy and for me, acupuncture as well as other things. Thank you for the kind words. I did read yesterday but I just couldn't form words to respond. Part of the issue is that for whatever reason, she doesn't want anyone to know she's struggling or going to see a therapist, as if she's ashamed. I don't know why because we've always been a very open family about mental health and therapy being very important. Honestly, I've wanted to go to therapy for years for a lot of reasons but just never made it a priority. I suffer with some chronic illnesses as well so that's part of it, but I have eating issues that I'd also like to work on. This may be the push I need to get going. It's a new day so I'm trying to find some positives. Dd woke up tired - she's had 3 very late nights this week and lack of sleep has such a huge negative effect on her so while she wasn't exactly unpleasant this morning, she was whining about being tired and not wanting to go to school. And how she agreed to go to the hs basketball game with a friend tonight send she doesn't want to go. I told her that her friend would understand if she canceled but she's a people pleaser and wouldn't think about canceling. Thanks for reading friends!
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