Thank you all. It is a new day. :-)

I’m exhausted. And yet one more large responsibility has been dumped in my lap with less than a week before Christmas and Chanukah Sunday night. And this is an very sad one. 

It makes me question whatever I did so wrong in the universe that I deserve the unrelenting challenges over the past 3 years. 

It is so hard to keep faith during it all. How do you do it?

Ditto. I lost all faith on December 23, 1992, the day I watched my infant son die in my arms. Me and many others prayed awfully hard that week.

Yes. I’ve wondered..... and I've told God many times that I was ready for what ever lesson he was teaching me to be over.

I’m not overly religious. My mom is, and so are some of my family. Not through it in your face religious, more like” keep the faith, he is there” religious.

When my daughter died...... I was devastated.
When my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor...I was frantic
When my husband lost his job.... I was terrified.

Every one of these events (which happened boom boom boom) were terrifying. Obviously my daughters passing was the worst. Some days, 9 years later I’m still not sure I’m completely healed, For me..... I see these events and know the pain they caused. I try my hardest to look at the events that followed.

My twins were born..... my rainbow after the storm
My husband recovered at home...... he had so much time at home in the first 9 months of my twins lives. He never would have had that, had he not been recovering.
My husband and I worked our butts off. We really held it together and have a better marriage because of it.....and now he is at a new job where he has so much less stress.

So yes, I know he is testing me....... and I know I want the test to be over.... I also know that the wait is worth it. I hope you “pass” the test soon. It isn’t easy, but in my stories I see it’s worth it.

Sending hugs and prayers