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Post by twistedscissors on Mar 25, 2015 14:16:27 GMT
My middle school DD went on a school trip that was three days, two hours away. DD and a group of girls snuck out of room after curfew. Kids being kids. They did not get caught but another kid tattled the next day. I had to go pick up my DD as did other parents. What they did was wrong and I agree they should've been picked up. Other kids were out of rooms in hallways but did not get told on. When questioned the girls all admitted to breaking the rules. They did not tattle on other kids.
Here's my problem. This was a statewide event, so lots of other students from other schools. There were approximately 50 students from our school with only one male and one female chaparone. My first question, is that enough chaperones for that age group?
Second question, should the chaperone's rooms be on the same floor? They were not on same floor.
Third (and fourth) question, when I picked her up, she was in hotel lobby with lots of other kids and no chaperone. If they got in trouble, shouldn't they have to stay near a chaperone until pick up? Should I have had to show ID or sign something to pick her up?
I'm not usually the type to complain about issues at school but should I say something about this?
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Deleted
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May 15, 2024 2:26:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2015 14:22:12 GMT
I don't think that was enough chaperones and when my kids have gone on trips like this the chaperones stayed on the same floor...switching off "shifts" so someone was in the hallway to make sure they didn't sneak out
You should have had to show ID to pick her up and someone should have been with her....
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 25, 2015 14:24:02 GMT
I don't think that was enough chaperones and when my kids have gone on trips like this the chaperones stayed on the same floor...switching off "shifts" so someone was in the hallway to make sure they didn't sneak out You should have had to show ID to pick her up and someone should have been with her.... I agree with all of this. |
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basketdiva
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Post by basketdiva on Mar 25, 2015 14:25:16 GMT
So many things wrong with the situation ( in regards to chaperones, oversight of the stidents). I would be discussing this with the administration.
Next time there is a field trip be sure to ask lots of questions in regards to chaperoning before agreeing to let your child attend.
Were there any parents on the trip that might have been considered chaperones?
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Rainbow
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Post by Rainbow on Mar 25, 2015 14:27:39 GMT
A lot is wrong in your scenario. I'd be quite upset about all of it.
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peabay
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Mar 25, 2015 14:28:05 GMT
Definitely not enough chaperones.
So, I don't have a problem with you complaining, but don't make it sound like you think your daughter only sneaked out because of the lack of chaperones. And I think your message may get muddied in that argument - even though you're not saying it, it may come out as: "if you'd had more chaperones, my kid wouldn't have gotten in trouble" and the school may get hung up on that, rather than the mistake they made.
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Post by peano on Mar 25, 2015 14:30:18 GMT
Definitely not enough chaperones and our schools hire security guards to stand in the hotel hallways to prevent after hours escapades.
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Post by kckckc on Mar 25, 2015 14:30:41 GMT
I have chaperoned (as a parent) a high school band trip. We did a room check at about 10:00 to make sure everyone was in their assigned room and then took turns sitting in the hallways to make sure no one left their room. That takes a lot of chaperones, if they are to get any sleep - so no I don't think your group had enough chaperones.
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Post by twistedscissors on Mar 25, 2015 14:31:26 GMT
So many things wrong with the situation ( in regards to chaperones, oversight of the stidents). I would be discussing this with the administration. Next time there is a field trip be sure to ask lots of questions in regards to chaperoning before agreeing to let your child attend. Were there any parents on the trip that might have been considered chaperones? No there were no parents. |
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Post by anxiousmom on Mar 25, 2015 14:32:05 GMT
In middle school, I would think that the chaperones should be, at least, on the same floor.
Last trip my kid took, the chaperones put a piece of tape over the outside of the door frame so they could immediately see if someone had opened their door. (Maybe it should go without saying that the tape was very flimsy tape that did not keep them IN the room, just enough to indicate that the door had been opened-no safety issues at all.)
The rules stated that any infraction of the rules the kids were to be picked up. They were in a city where I have the most loving, but giant and potentially scary uncle who was the designated pick up person. I had to fill out paperwork for that, and there was a process for checking the kids out whether it was their parent or a designated person.
Additionally, there were ratios for how many chaperones were allowed based on the numbers of students.
So yes, I think that there maybe should be a discussion with the school about how the process could be revamped in order to provide more of a safe environment-including have more than two chaperones for 50 kids.
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luvnlifelady
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Post by luvnlifelady on Mar 25, 2015 14:32:25 GMT
When my DD went to DC from CA, they hired a private company to patrol the hallways at night. Boys were on one side and girls on the other with the patrol in the middle.
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Post by Pahina722 on Mar 25, 2015 14:32:25 GMT
No, that isn't enough chaperones HERE, but if the school has specific guidelines and a 1 to 25 ratio meets the guidelines, then it's okay. As far as patrolling the halls, the chaperones (at the high school level anyway) are not expected to do that, nor are the chaperones' rooms necessarily near the kids' rooms. The kids are given the rules and the chaperones might do lights out/bed checks, but not constant hall patrolling.
It would have been a really good idea to have a chaperone with the misbehaving kids; however, there were probably trip activities going on where the chaperones needed to be with the other kids, you know, the ones who were still competing or engaged in school functions. Honestly, you seem more concerned that your child was sitting in a hotel lobby in broad daylight waiting for her parents to pick her up than that she deliberately sneaked out of her room after hours . . . . To do what? I'm thinking she was in far more danger when she sneaked out of her room at night than in the lobby of the hotel in the morning.
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leeny
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Post by leeny on Mar 25, 2015 14:32:56 GMT
I agree with the issues on the lack of oversight, but that is not cause for the kids to take advantage or break the rules.
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~Susan~
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Post by ~Susan~ on Mar 25, 2015 14:34:26 GMT
Not nearly enough chaperones. When chaperoning, I never had more than 3 girls and I stayed in the same room with them. If there were any males, then the teacher would ask for fathers to come and help with those students. If not enough males chaperones, then they would try have adjoining rooms or at the very least the room next door.
Whenever asked to chaperone, I usually got an itinerary, cell phone numbers of other chaperones and head teacher along with any other pertinent information.
Sounds like it was very poorly planned and I would be asking a lot of questions.
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Post by twistedscissors on Mar 25, 2015 14:35:00 GMT
Definitely not enough chaperones. So, I don't have a problem with you complaining, but don't make it sound like you think your daughter only sneaked out because of the lack of chaperones. And I think your message may get muddied in that argument - even though you're not saying it, it may come out as: "if you'd had more chaperones, my kid wouldn't have gotten in trouble" and the school may get hung up on that, rather than the mistake they made. My DD made a mistake, that's all on her and she is being punished for it. Her choice 100% to leave the room. I dont think there were enough chaperones and no they weren't doing their job of watching the kids. |
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Post by myshelly on Mar 25, 2015 14:38:13 GMT
Did you not know or ask about any of the chaperoning details before your child went on this trip?
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Post by scraphollie27 on Mar 25, 2015 14:38:24 GMT
Did you know about the chaperoning set-up beforehand?
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Post by littlemama on Mar 25, 2015 14:39:43 GMT
I think that is an appropriate number of chaperones for kids of that age, however, they should have been on the same floor as the kids. Also, the tape on the outside of the door trick is fantastic for telling who broke the rules.
Your dd was not alone in the lobby, there were lots of other kids there. Again, at that age, they know the rules and should be able to follow them. You probably should have had to show ID or sign her out - did you seek out the chaperones to do so? They can't be everywhere. I'm assuming they were not going to hold back entire field trip's schedule because some kids couldn't act right.
Finally, your use of the word "tattling" speaks volumes. Instead of focusing on your dd breaking the rules, you are focused on trying to blame someone else.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2015 14:44:15 GMT
No, that isn't enough chaperones HERE, but if the school has specific guidelines and a 1 to 25 ratio meets the guidelines, then it's okay. As far as patrolling the halls, the chaperones (at the high school level anyway) are not expected to do that, nor are the chaperones' rooms necessarily near the kids' rooms. The kids are given the rules and the chaperones might do lights out/bed checks, but not constant hall patrolling. It would have been a really good idea to have a chaperone with the misbehaving kids; however, there were probably trip activities going on where the chaperones needed to be with the other kids, you know, the ones who were still competing or engaged in school functions. Honestly, you seem more concerned that your child was sitting in a hotel lobby in broad daylight waiting for her parents to pick her up than that she deliberately sneaked out of her room after hours . . . . To do what? I'm thinking she was in far more danger when she sneaked out of her room at night than in the lobby of the hotel in the morning. Which in my opinion is exactly why there should be more chaperones....they are middle school aged kids....kids don't think things through...they don't make "adult" decisions....that is why there should be enough chaperones and plans in place for these types of situations...I would seriously be pissed if this happened on a trip I sent my child on. Yes we all want our kids to do the right thing and always behave but that doesn't happen and as parents it is our responsibility..... until they are adults! |
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Post by twistedscissors on Mar 25, 2015 14:47:23 GMT
No, that isn't enough chaperones HERE, but if the school has specific guidelines and a 1 to 25 ratio meets the guidelines, then it's okay. As far as patrolling the halls, the chaperones (at the high school level anyway) are not expected to do that, nor are the chaperones' rooms necessarily near the kids' rooms. The kids are given the rules and the chaperones might do lights out/bed checks, but not constant hall patrolling. It would have been a really good idea to have a chaperone with the misbehaving kids; however, there were probably trip activities going on where the chaperones needed to be with the other kids, you know, the ones who were still competing or engaged in school functions. Honestly, you seem more concerned that your child was sitting in a hotel lobby in broad daylight waiting for her parents to pick her up than that she deliberately sneaked out of her room after hours . . . . To do what? I'm thinking she was in far more danger when she sneaked out of her room at night than in the lobby of the hotel in the morning. Which in my opinion is exactly why there should be more chaperones....they are middle school aged kids....kids don't think things through...they don't make "adult" decisions....that is why there should be enough chaperones and plans in place for these types of situations...I would seriously be pissed if this happened on a trip I sent my child on. Yes we all want our kids to do the right thing and always behave but that doesn't happen and as parents it is our responsibility..... until they are adults! This is exactly what I think. They are not mature enough to make adult decisions. That's why chaperones should be near by. |
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Post by cindyupnorth on Mar 25, 2015 14:49:02 GMT
"So, I don't have a problem with you complaining, but don't make it sound like you think your daughter only sneaked out because of the lack of chaperones. And I think your message may get muddied in that argument - even though you're not saying it, it may come out as: "if you'd had more chaperones, my kid wouldn't have gotten in trouble" and the school may get hung up on that, rather than the mistake they made"
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THIS, you are deflecting. I've been on 2 big band trips with my dd's. I chaperoned. Did you know about the chaperones before hand? if you did you should have said something then. It's too little too late now. We always taped the doors shut at night. if the seals were broken, kids were sent home. We stayed on the same floors as the kids. There could have been a mix up and for some reason the chaperones were mistakenly put on a different floor. HOW do you know they weren't on the same floor though? who told you this?
As far as the lobby thing. Maybe the chaperones were busy with the other kids? or the activity they went there for?
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Post by Dictionary on Mar 25, 2015 14:53:17 GMT
I agree with all the above I guess my question to you is what do you expect to gain from complaining? Not that you shouldn't just helps to know what it is you are after and then that's what you go tell the administration, how unsafe the environment was and that you would expect more security, chaperones, etc. I guess all I am saying is have a plan on what it is you want to have happen before you just randomly complain for the obvious reasons. I totally agree that the school was definitely negligent in their actions to protect your child and would expect all future trips require a better ratio of student:chaperone. Get them to commit to some sort of change. Good Luck!
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Post by twistedscissors on Mar 25, 2015 14:55:24 GMT
I think that is an appropriate number of chaperones for kids of that age, however, they should have been on the same floor as the kids. Also, the tape on the outside of the door trick is fantastic for telling who broke the rules. Your dd was not alone in the lobby, there were lots of other kids there. Again, at that age, they know the rules and should be able to follow them. You probably should have had to show ID or sign her out - did you seek out the chaperones to do so? They can't be everywhere. I'm assuming they were not going to hold back entire field trip's schedule because some kids couldn't act right. Finally, your use of the word "tattling" speaks volumes. Instead of focusing on your dd breaking the rules, you are focused on trying to blame someone else. My DD broke the rules and I'm not blaming anyone but her for that. I'm just saying that other kids were out of their rooms as well and if the chaperones were doing their job, that maybe it could've been avoided or a lot more kids would've went home. My DD could've tattled on about 20 other kids, including the president of the team. Which would've meant the whole county would've been sent home. But she didn't tattle and only told the truth when she was asked what she had done. I did did call the advisor when I picked her up because I was surprised she was wandering around the lobby. His exact words were "ok, she's good to go".  |
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Post by twistedscissors on Mar 25, 2015 15:02:27 GMT
I agree with all the above I guess my question to you is what do you expect to gain from complaining? Not that you shouldn't just helps to know what it is you are after and then that's what you go tell the administration, how unsafe the environment was and that you would expect more security, chaperones, etc. I guess all I am saying is have a plan on what it is you want to have happen before you just randomly complain for the obvious reasons. I totally agree that the school was definitely negligent in their actions to protect your child and would expect all future trips require a better ratio of student:chaperone. Get them to commit to some sort of change. Good Luck!This is what I'm thinking. I think more chaperones were needed and on the same floor. Also after the girls admitted to not following rules I feel they should've been required to stay with a chaperone until pickup. They need to to have a better plan in place for future trips. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2015 15:11:39 GMT
Let the whole "tattling" thing go. It is making you seem like you are excusing your daughter.
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peppermintpatty
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Post by peppermintpatty on Mar 25, 2015 15:12:43 GMT
When my dd went to Disney last year for festival, they had about 200 kids going and they had around 10-12 chaperones. Every night, tape was applied to the outside of the doors (no rooms with windows that open and no balconies) and the chaperones were required to take 1 hour shifts walking the halls overnight, in pairs. Any room that had the tape broken in the morning meant an automatic call home and the child was not allowed to take part in any of the activities and they had to stay with the chaperone the whole trip. The kids were allowed to go (in pairs) between any and all of the parks by themselves without a chaperone but they had to check in a couple times a day with any of the chaperones (who were assigned parks to be in).
It sounds like there were not enough parents and the parents should have been staying not only on the same floor but doing checks throughout the night.
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Post by utmr on Mar 25, 2015 15:18:35 GMT
When DD was in middle school the band trips used the tape method to identity rule breakers. The chaperones were in their own rooms. The kids were told in no uncertain terms what would happen if their tape was disturbed in the morning. The chaperones came by at lights out, counted heads, and put on the tape. They were not to leave their rooms until the chaperone came and took the tape off in the morning. Of course there was a fire safety plan for emergency.
At the theme parks the kids had to call the chaperone at designated times (hourly?) from their own phones. (Not allowed to have one person call and claim everyone was accounted for). If they didn't call in on time, the cavalry was called out and much unhappiness would ensue. The kids understood if they were about to get on a ride, they should call in a few minutes earlier rather than being late.
It seemed to work out ok.
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Post by just PEAchy on Mar 25, 2015 15:29:32 GMT
Our middle school 8th grade goes to DC every year. There's 1 chaperone for every 4 kids and they stay in adjacent rooms. They also do the door taping. They don't patrol the halls all night, but someone does a hall check around midnight.
I think your group was very under chaperoned. I do agree that you need to speak to the administration so that hopefully it will change in the future.
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Post by anonrefugee on Mar 25, 2015 15:31:39 GMT
Did I understand this correctly? You didn't speak with a chaperone before removing your child from premises? That seems extremely unsafe.
However, tread lightly complaining about the chaperone situation. No matter how logical your comments they will be minimalized, or misconstrued.
This is a banner better carried by parents of kids following the rules. You can support it and them. Participate, but don't spearhead. If you do your intentions will will be questioned. Also, consider volunteering yourself next time.
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marimoose
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Post by marimoose on Mar 25, 2015 15:32:10 GMT
I was the parent chaperone for my daughter when she was in 7th grade and a small group was going to Florida. We had 20 kids I believe and it was me and the teacher. Another school was on the same trip that had two chaperones, which included a male teacher. We reviewed the rules of conduct with both the parents and the students before the trip. We explained our expectations and how much "freedom" the students would have on this trip which was none at night but allowed a certain amount of free time during the day at Disneyworld and Sea World. I will add that this was several years ago, in the relaxing time before kids had cell phones so trust was a huge issue because we could not call them while they were on their own. At night we taped the doors and restated the rules. We did not patrol the floor and the boys were on the floor above the girls. If we had patrolled then I would expect that we would have been tired on the following day when we were expected to keep watch over wandering kids and really needed our attention. If kids are not old enough to follow the rules then I think they probably should not go on such trips. I am not trying to be rude about this but honest. BTW- we had no issues on our trip. As for expecting a chaperone to be sitting with the kids being sent home, that would be punishing/preventing the kids that didn't break the rules from doing their activities and as another mentioned, they were far safer sitting alone in a lobby (not really alone since there were multiple offenders), not to mention meaning that there would then be one chaperone for all of the remaining students and we also don't know if the teacher chaperones were needed for the activities.I would bet that the lobby people were made aware that parents would be arriving to pick up the kids and had their eye on the situation , not that this is their job. Because i was a chaperone on a traveling trip I am very opinionated on this subject. I took the safety of the students very seriously and treated each as if they were my own kids. It was an awesome experience.
I would be far more upset with my child's behavior than that of the chaperones. If there is another trip in the future I would expect that you know what questions to ask in regards to expectations and how many chaperones will be present.
As for the schools that hire a security guard to patrol the floors - who pays for that?
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