Large age gap between children

Congratulations!!

There is a 5 year gap between my girls. I do find it funny when someone assumes oldest DD is from a previous marriage...

Congratulations! That is so exciting! I know people with big age gaps, and they get along great. A boy my 15 yr. old has been hanging out with a lot has one brother and he is 14 yrs. older. They don't see each other much because he left home for college at 18, but they get along well. And not everyone can control the age gap, so just enjoy! So happy for you!

Teen years can be trying for boys and girls, but I have three girls, 2 are teens, and other than being the biggest slobs ever, they are great kids (most of the time!). Never moody (like the teen boys they tell me about!).

At my school, the 8th graders bring home a computerized doll for a weekend. The kids (especially the boys) love that project! So I bet her friends will think that is so cool that she has a new baby in the family. Even if your daughter doesn't want to babysit, I bet she will have friends lining up to help you out.

I would let her help make decisions about baby stuff as long as she is interested and excited. I would also make one night a week that is her night where she gets to do something special with you and your husband. I know after the baby comes it will be hard but maybe you will be able to alternate special days with her where you go to dinner and a movie or what ever she wants to do that night. do a movie night at home or something that makes her feel special. Even if it is taking a day off from her chores for a day. also keep her wanting to help with the baby but don't force it on her. I wouldn't make her baby sit but let her babysit if she wants too. I know there will be times where she will need to watch the baby when you are showering or cooking dinner but I am talking about babysitting when you go out. 

Congratulations!!

My children are 8.5 years apart between 1 and 2; 6.5 years between 2 and 3 and 15 years between 1 and 3 - not a planned spacing - I wanted stairsteps but infertility meant that my 'stairsteps' are currently 6'2"; 5'2" and 4'2" tall at 23, almost 15 and 8.5. Overall I've been happy with the spacing - they've all had their time to be the baby. The biggest negative (to us) has been that they are too far apart in age to play with each other and since we're rural (no neighbourhood children) that's been hard at times.

My sisters and I are turning 65, 45 (me) and 41 this year. Our oldest sister was more like an aunt than a sibling - she was already out of the house when we came along (second marriage kids). I think we would probably be closer if we were geographically closer...we haven't lived in the same country since I was 5.

DH is the caboose baby in his family. His siblings were 17, 15, 14, 12, 10, 8 when he was born. He was closest with his oldest brother (15 years older) and has never been close at all to the two closest in age to him. Sadly 2, 3, and 4 have all passed away and 1 is very ill so that's been really hard for him. He's probably closest to his nieces and nephew from 1 and 3 (especially 3 as they lived with him and his mum for several years) - he's only 18 months older than the oldest.

I let my two older girls pick out the babies decorations for the room. And I even let them pick out her middle name! Some people were nervous when I said I was going to let them. Especially after my middle dd wanted to chose Hamburger. But in the end they picked Grace so they did a great job!

I also took them with me to register for my shower, my mom took them shopping to buy the baby a present, plus my mom bought each of them a present to open the day the baby was born, and I let them pick out her shoes! They love to shop for shoes so why not!

I'm 8 years older than my next sibling and 21 months later I got another one. My parents did it both ways -- a large gap and then two really close together. We are all close as adults. We did ok as kids, but there was some resentment because of the "built in babysitter"comments frequently tossed around and taken advantage of. To my benefit, I wasn't a nervous first time mom because I'd been helping with babies for almost 20 years by the time I had my first. The toddler years didn't rock my boat, either. I'd already loved it once.

My own sons are 11 years apart. YDS is 4 this month. So far, so good. ODS wasn't sure he wanted a sibling for the longest time, but was thrilled when it finally happened. It's been a learning experience in patience for him. But, he's learned about some child development milestones along the way which has helped ODS understand when YDS is driving him nuts. He volunteers to babysit at times, and he takes YDS out to hang out with him and his neighborhood friends when they are doing things that YDS can participate in. YDS has been noticing ODS' difference in privileges lately and questioning that. If I hear how "YDS FULL NAME is a big boy, too!" one more time this week, I might clean my ears with an ice pick. Yeesh.

Someone else mentioned enjoying their second so much more. It was the same for me. I wasn't so quick to put YDS in his crib. We spent more time in the rocking chair and less time worrying about small stuff. YDS coming along has made me savor time with ODS, too. I realized how fast the years were passing. The difference between a baby at 26 and a baby at 37 for me physically -- exhaustion. I recovered better after my repeat c-section, but the sleepless nights added up faster than they did when I was younger. Naps saved all of us!

Congratulations on your wonderful news!!

My two older sisters are: 13 and 11 years older than me, and 19 and 17 years older than my younger sister (same parents, poor planning).
My younger sister and I are 6 years apart and grew up together - we are cordial but not close. She gets along fine with the older two. My oldest sister and I have no use for each other at all. My best bud in the whole world is my second oldest sister. (This sounds like one of those word puzzles, LOL)
So you really have no way of predicting how these things will turn out.

I also would like to add that with #2 (in a previous post I mentioned #1 is 15 years older than #2), I am so much more chill and easy going, not only because I'm not a first time mom, but because I've experienced so many milestones with #1 already.

I am savoring every sleepless night that I am nursing him every 2 hours, walking the halls for an hour to get him to sleep, dropping everything to hold and sooth him, etc. I no longer look at it as a burden that is exhausting, though I am exhausted. He's my last and every day is new. This little guy is going to be 15 all too soon, just like his brother, and not need me like he does now.

I was told over and over with my first child that they grow up too soon, but having the experience of it now first hand with a 15 year gap, I know it will be over in the blink of an eye and I appreciate every day so much more.

My mantra is the old saying, "The days are long, but the years are short". So, so true and I'm so grateful to be able to experiencing it again so many years later. Best wishes!!!

My oldest grandson is 15 and now has a 2 month old baby brother.  He's adapting to not being an "only" anymore and seems quite fine with it...he loves the baby but really is too busy with school, sports and his music to spend too much time with him.  

His one big concern has always been that he doesn't want his mom to think he's going to be an "instant babysitter" for her, because that is definitely not a role he'd ever be comfortable with and frankly just doesn't want.  He's a 15 year old boy with friends and a pretty active social life.  So far, they seem to have come to an understanding about this and there has been no issues. Of course, I'd never turn down a babysitting opportunity, so it's all good

I have 2 kids, eight years apart. When I had my son, I was told I'd never have another baby. 
Imagine my surprise, when I found out I was pregnant again, so many years after I gave up. 

I was told having kids so far apart would be like have 2 'only' children. That was true. 
But I never found anything negative about the big age difference. 
DS was able to help me in so many ways- holding a bottle or plugging in a pacifier while I was driving. Keeping an eye on the baby so I could take a quick shower. He was always so great with her, and it's only gotten better as they get older. I never treated him like a built in babysitter or servant, but he was always willing to help out and he was a godsend. Of course- if he was a different personality type...who knows?

My kids are 15 and 23 now. They get along, they spend time together when they don't have to, they're learning how to relate to each other as adults and I can see that they will be good after DH and I are gone. My brothers and sister and I mostly fell apart after my parents died. I have a great relationship with my sister, no relationship with one brother and see another brother rarely. It's disappointing to have ended up this way, but losing both parents in a short amount of time (and realizing we're all we have left) wasn't enough to overcome a lifetime of dysfunction. I didn't want that for my kids- and it makes me happy to see that they have a good relationship.

ETA- Congratulations!!

My son just turned 6 yesterday. My daughter and step daughter will turn 19 in May and August.
At first they were mortified (eeeeew our parents do it!)
Then they were curious.
Then they were excited.
When my son was born...they were in love. They marveled at every new thing he did. We started my step daughter on guitar lEssons and my daughter in karate.
Those new things gave the family new things to talk to the girls about. So when Aidan started crawling, Jayna was breaking boards or Jordan learned to play a new song.

Now they are all adorable together. Every once in awhile they dub my son the "little bother" instead of the little brother but even then it's said jokingly.

When my stepdaughter was leaving for college, I took my son to Build A Bear to make a stuffed animal for her to keep. We called it an Aidan Bear and when you squeeze it you hear his voice saying "I love you sissy Jordan" When the employee told my son to pick a heart to go into the bear, she asked him to kiss it & make a wish. He kissed the heart and said "I wish sissy would stay home"

My girls adore their brother and he adores them. He will basically be like an only child soon because the girls will no longer live at home BUT he knows he can always count on them when he needs them.

CONGRATS!!!

Congratulations! My oldest were 11 and
8 when my youngest was born. For our family having our 3rd with that much space between kids was just ideal. My dh is a really good dad, but he spends so much more time with our youngest because he realizes how quickly their childhood goes by. The older two really have been great. We really make an effort for them to be siblings and not caregivers. I mean they do babysit, but I don't want it to become their burden. I think they have really enjoyed experiencing all his first and those magical parts of childhood they've outgrown. Enjoy your blessing!!