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Post by beaglemom on Apr 29, 2016 20:15:07 GMT
Dh's mom usually "hosts" Passover. I say "hosts" lightly as she makes the charoset and salad. She asks me to bring the matzo ball soup, brisket, dessert, an appetizer, and usually a side of some sort. Fil usually makes salmon. They were visiting dh's sisters last weekend and did Passover there so I thought we were off the hook. When they host there are two other couples that they usually invite.
I got an email Wednesday night from one of the other ladies saying that since mil didn't have it this year she was going to because we couldn't not do it. And she added in her son and his fiance to the guest list. I didn't respond till yesterday, because I was torn about going and i was hoping dh would say we didn't need to. Since we have three kids (5yrs, 3yrs, and 1 month) and the other couples are all in their late 60's early 70's other than the son and fiance. The lady hosting hasn't had kids in 30 years and I was stressing about having to monitor our kids at her house. But dh said we should go. So I rsvped and to be polite I asked if I could bring anything - silly me - I thought since I have a one month old and we live 30 minutes away she would say no don't worry about it. But she asked me to make the matzo ball soup. So yesterday I went shopping made a huge batch and it is in the fridge.
Well as we are going to bed last night dh says he isn't feeling well and doesn't know if he is going to work today. This morning woke up and decided he didn't feel well enough to go to work. Now he is saying he doesn't feel like he should go because he doesn't want to get anyone sick. But when I said then I didn't want to go he didn't get it.
I don't want to have to wrangle 3 kids by myself in a non-child proof house. My inlaws won't be helpful in terms of kid management and while my kids are well behaved 3+ hours in someone else's house for Passover Sedar is asking a lot! I can drop the soup off at my inlwas with instructions for re-heating, so they will still have the soup. Also I'm not jewish! Dh's family is "culturally" and I say that loosely. They do Passover (sometimes remembering to no to leavened for the time - usually forgetting), the do the candles and presents at Hannukah, and they fast at Yom Kippur (mainly so they can whine about how hungry they are and how hard it is to not eat for the day). The only time that I know of in the 15 years that I have know my inlaws that they have gone to synagogue is when they were in Eastern Europe for Yom Kippur and that was only because they were somewhere that had a famous synagogue.
So what say the peas. Do I need to suck it up and take the kids and go? Or do I get a pass since dh isn't going?
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Post by elaine on Apr 29, 2016 20:20:58 GMT
You most certainly get a pass. There is no way you should be expected to watch your kids by yourself in someone else's house for a Seder, especially since it isn't your religion.
You can tell him that this Jew says that he is asking too much of you.
Stay home.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927 
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Post by freebird on Apr 29, 2016 20:21:19 GMT
if he's sick, your kids might already be sick. Passing it on would be rude. Stay home, enjoy your soup.
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Post by leannec on Apr 29, 2016 20:22:11 GMT
Nope ... with three kids I'd be dropping off the soup and staying home ... sanity is more important  |
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Post by librarylady on Apr 29, 2016 20:25:52 GMT
Stay home. Plead that your DH may have infected everyone...blah, blah......
I'm not sure I'd drop off the soup as it would be good for the ill husband......
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 29, 2016 20:26:06 GMT
Drop off the soup and apologize, saying you don't want to get anyone else sick.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Apr 29, 2016 20:27:10 GMT
I agree with everyone else above me!!
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Deleted
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May 15, 2024 19:35:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 20:27:35 GMT
you get a pass ... stay home....
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Post by elaine on Apr 29, 2016 20:27:59 GMT
Oh, and I finally finished off my matzo ball soup for lunch today. It is the perfect dinner food if anyone, like your DH, is feeling under the weather. You really need to keep all that soup and nurse him back to health.
You can also freeze any extra matzo ball soup- it freezes just fine.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 19:35:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 20:31:54 GMT
Honestly, I'd be leery eating soup that was made by a family that is cancelling due to some type of virus. I'd keep the soup and send our regrets.
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Post by beaglemom on Apr 29, 2016 21:05:04 GMT
Thank you for the validation! I made a double batch so I have more than enough. Dh wasn't in the kitchen last night when I was cooking. And there is part of me that thinks it is a combo of lack of sleep (1 month old) and that today was supposed to be his first day back from paternity leave (after 5 weeks off). He is working from home down in the office and staying away from the rest of us. I'm letting go of the guilt and I'll drop enough of the soup off at my inlaws for those going tonight and not worry about it! And leave a note that if anyone is worried throw the soup in the freezer and I'll pick it back up to have at home.
Before I joined the family the matzo ball soup was always made from the box. I do very little from the box (soup, cakes, cookies, etc). So I after a neighbor that is in her 70's made us a batch after dd was born I was determined to learn how to make it from scratch. It tastes so much better!!
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Post by cmpeter on Apr 29, 2016 21:23:24 GMT
You totally get a pass!
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Post by christine58 on Apr 29, 2016 21:30:35 GMT
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Post by NanaKate on Apr 29, 2016 21:36:39 GMT
You absolutely get a pass.
I agree that the soup freezes well. My DBIL is Jewish and he insisted on making a batch for me before my mastectomy last year, when they were visiting from Minnesota. We put it in the freezer in 1 cup portions and I enjoyed it so much during my recovery!
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Post by sunraynnc on Apr 29, 2016 21:42:40 GMT
Feed one batch of soup to sick husband. Drop one batch on in-law front porch and RUN!
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Post by lucyg on Apr 29, 2016 21:49:54 GMT
I don't know why this is even a question. Of course you shouldn't go. I would have been planning to stay home with the baby in the first place, and let DH take the older kids to Seder if it's so important to him.
But I myself, also coming from a largely non-observant Jewish family, would much appreciate it if you stopped sounding quite so judgmental about whether they are sufficiently Jewish enough to suit you. The fact is, they do a Seder every year. Enough said.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 29, 2016 21:57:17 GMT
Definitely validated. Three kids under six and a sick DH? And you don't really know the people hosting? I'd be staying home.
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scrapbug
Full Member
Posts: 343
Jun 26, 2014 0:11:46 GMT
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Post by scrapbug on Apr 29, 2016 22:01:51 GMT
Don't go. Drop off the soup, make your apologies and stay home with your hubby.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 30, 2016 0:03:57 GMT
I wouldn't want the family of someone who is sick w/a virus at my house; nor would I want their soup. If someone brought the soup I'd be gracious, but would not want to serve it. If they still want the soup drop it w/your in-laws and stay home where you don't have to spend a few hours running after kids. A Seder takes a long time. Whether or not they observe devoutly or not I like that they do a Seder each year. I cannot say the same and I used to be much more devout.
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Post by summer on Apr 30, 2016 0:10:53 GMT
Tell them you don't want to spread any germs and stay home and enjoy the soup with your family. I doubt they would serve it knowing your husband is sick.
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Post by mlynn on Apr 30, 2016 2:03:50 GMT
I choose option 3. Go to the seder but leave the kids at home with DH. A nice kid free evening for you.
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Post by anniefb on Apr 30, 2016 2:11:02 GMT
Yep totally agree - stay home and put the extra soup in the freezer.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 30, 2016 2:13:36 GMT
I would have left the kids with my husband and gone (if I wanted to attend). No need to bring the kids.
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Post by pjaye on Apr 30, 2016 3:31:33 GMT
So what say the peas. Do I need to suck it up and take the kids and go? Or do I get a pass since dh isn't going? Before I read any other responses - don't go. This isn't important to you and you only agreed to go because your husband wanted to. You don't actually want to go...you've used words like "off the hook" and you delayed replying until your husband said you should. It VERY clear that you don't want to go - so don't. It will just be 'work' managing 3 kids on your own. Call and say your husband is sick and you won't be able to make it, don't get sucked in to the suggestion of coming anyway don't give any more reasons, just say "sorry, we'll just have to miss it this year" and don't get drawn into more conversation than that. Send the soup and stay home. |
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Apr 30, 2016 3:32:54 GMT
I'd stay home. Wrangling 3 small children by yourself will be a lot of stress. It doesn't sound at all enjoyable. Plus the fact that one of them might have caught what DH has. I'd stay home and enjoy the soup.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,707
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Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Apr 30, 2016 3:38:44 GMT
I choose option 3. Go to the seder but leave the kids at home with DH. A nice kid free evening for you. and 950nancy The one child is only one month old. If mom is breastfeeding, going child free really would not be an option. |
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Post by mlynn on Apr 30, 2016 3:43:52 GMT
I choose option 3. Go to the seder but leave the kids at home with DH. A nice kid free evening for you. and 950nancy The one child is only one month old. If mom is breastfeeding, going child free really would not be an option. Then she could take only the infant and leave the other two at home. No corralling with a one month old. And the ladies will probably be arm wrestling over who gets to hold the baby next. |
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Post by Lexica on Apr 30, 2016 4:27:10 GMT
Honestly, I'd be leery eating soup that was made by a family that is cancelling due to some type of virus. I'd keep the soup and send our regrets. That is exactly what I was going to say. I really appreciate that he isn't going to go for the sake of getting other sick. And really, you and your children have already been exposed. As far as the soup, I would honestly ask during your phone call to cancel your family's attendance. Tell her that so far, you don't have any symptoms, but if she didn't want the soup, you would certainly understand. If she says it is fine, drop it off with MIL and go back home. And snuggle that newborn once for me. I have been cleaning all day today and I came across some of my son's baby pictures mixed in with a box of his childhood home movies. I sat and took a trip down memory lane for a half hour, so I have babies on the brain. Just looking at his tiny face and hands, and imagining that baby smell. Sigh. |
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by theshyone on Apr 30, 2016 4:28:24 GMT
Dh's mom usually "hosts" Passover. I say "hosts" lightly as she makes the charoset and salad. She asks me to bring the matzo ball soup, brisket, dessert, an appetizer, and usually a side of some sort. Fil usually makes salmon. They were visiting dh's sisters last weekend and did Passover there so I thought we were off the hook. When they host there are two other couples that they usually invite. I got an email Wednesday night from one of the other ladies saying that since mil didn't have it this year she was going to because we couldn't not do it. And she added in her son and his fiance to the guest list. I didn't respond till yesterday, because I was torn about going and i was hoping dh would say we didn't need to. Since we have three kids (5yrs, 3yrs, and 1 month) and the other couples are all in their late 60's early 70's other than the son and fiance. The lady hosting hasn't had kids in 30 years and I was stressing about having to monitor our kids at her house. But dh said we should go. So I rsvped and to be polite I asked if I could bring anything - silly me - I thought since I have a one month old and we live 30 minutes away she would say no don't worry about it. But she asked me to make the matzo ball soup. So yesterday I went shopping made a huge batch and it is in the fridge. Well as we are going to bed last night dh says he isn't feeling well and doesn't know if he is going to work today. This morning woke up and decided he didn't feel well enough to go to work. Now he is saying he doesn't feel like he should go because he doesn't want to get anyone sick. But when I said then I didn't want to go he didn't get it. I don't want to have to wrangle 3 kids by myself in a non-child proof house. My inlaws won't be helpful in terms of kid management and while my kids are well behaved 3+ hours in someone else's house for Passover Sedar is asking a lot! I can drop the soup off at my inlwas with instructions for re-heating, so they will still have the soup. Also I'm not jewish! Dh's family is "culturally" and I say that loosely. They do Passover (sometimes remembering to no to leavened for the time - usually forgetting), the do the candles and presents at Hannukah, and they fast at Yom Kippur (mainly so they can whine about how hungry they are and how hard it is to not eat for the day). The only time that I know of in the 15 years that I have know my inlaws that they have gone to synagogue is when they were in Eastern Europe for Yom Kippur and that was only because they were somewhere that had a famous synagogue. So what say the peas. Do I need to suck it up and take the kids and go? Or do I get a pass since dh isn't going? A pass or leave kids at home with husband and go alone. |
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camcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,973
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Post by camcas on Apr 30, 2016 4:31:47 GMT
Stay home and keep the soup!
Mums with small kids should be first priority in all family considerations!
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