who is the oldest mom you know?

I had my children at 36, 40 and 41. Most of their friends' parents were much younger - a friend of DD was born when her mother was 15 or 16 (that was very unusual though), so I have been mistaken as their grandmother at times :-(

I had my boys at 35 and 39.  I discussed this with my doctor and he told me something along the lines of the studies had been done with older moms who were having the last of several children.  The way he explained it to me was the risk increased when you had already had several babies and were older that the risk was higher.  Since I was a first time mom, he was not as concerned.   This was 12-13 years ago, so it may have changed.


I had DS2 at 39 and my pregnancy was treated the same as much younger women.  I did have a level 2 ultrasound, but other than that it was the same.  They were more concerned about me being overweight and the possibility of gestational diabetes (which I did not get) than the fact that I was 38/39.  I had a midwife with his delivery and she told me had I been classed as high risk, she would not have been able to take me on as a patient.

You're not saying it's right or wrong, just implying that women who have children over 40 are selfish, right? Because of course they would need you to remind them of the risks since they are obviously so selfish they wouldn't consider the risks on their own. Maybe I am just emotional because I am pregnant, but the tone of your post is accusatory and rude.

Of the people I know IRL, I am. I had DD when I was 43 and everything was fine, but I sure wouldn't want to repeat that process now at 49! I definitely don't have the energy for that anymore.

FWIW, my mom had me when she was 40 and my younger brother at 42 (there are six more ahead of us). My older sister had her first at 30 and her last at 40, and an older brother's wife had their last kid (second marriage) when she was 40 so for my family it's nothing new. There is a 12 year gap between my DD and her next youngest cousin on my side.

As for the increased risk of Down Syndrome, my doctor told me not to spend a lot of time worrying about it. Although the risks are higher, it's like 1/350 for a 35 year old, 1/100 for a 40 year old and about 1/30 for someone who is 45. So while it's definitely higher, it's still not likely. And as others have said there are so many other things that could go wrong at any age. While it was a concern it wasn't something I really stressed out over.

Several of my older nieces and nephews had children before I did.

This thread gives me hope. I'm 37.5 and we've been struggling with unexplained infertility for 3 years. It sucks. I'll probably be 40 if it ever finally happens for us.

adoption may not county but my friend's sister just adopted a baby at 46. this is their first child.

Everyone I know had their kids early. I had mine at 23 and 27. I am 44 with a 20 and 16year old, and could not imagine doing it again, it makes me tired just thinking about it.

Thinking about having babies again, once yours are older makes most moms tired. I don't think chronological age has much impact unless you're talking about comparing 20 to 55. I was in exercise groups (prenatal and post -wth baby) with women ten and fifteen years my junior. Many had no idea I was older, we all ached and needed sleep. At that point I didn't look much different either.

Maybe I sound defensive, I don't know. Its easier to live a little more footloose without kids, and that keeps you younger longer in a way. I don't buy the mentally tired attitude either. Comparing a first time mom at 28 to one at 43 might not be much different. Except 43 probably has more savings, and job skills, career at stake

It's only mildly offensive to say this here but please don't ever point this out to anyone you meet in real life who is PG and older.

My post was not meant to be accusatory. I was just curious as to whether this was a concern to older moms. Maybe it's not a factor anymore but it was when I was having children back in the Stone Age. It's hard to read the tone of a post.

I was regular as a clock until I was 59!!  I started skipping around a bit and didn't fully stop until I was 60.  I went 11 months and had a final period at 61 years old!  I don't think any woman in their 60s should be having to buy tampons!SaveSave

I'm not sure I believe this since you lacked enough tact to post it to a board where there are always ongoing pregnancies, and plenty of them are AMA.

Sending you many hugs and wishing you the very best. 

Thanks, everyone, for the well wishes! 

Sending you good wishes and fertile thoughts .