I need advice re: bed bugs

I agree with miss_lizzie. It is the safest thing to do under the conditions. It is such a hard call as you can be in an elevator, sitting in a booth at a restaurant, at thre movies, etc, all of which you have no idea if bed bugs may have been left behind there but knowing that there is an issue and 1 week is little time to know they completely ridded their belongings of them..... yup, another location sounds good and you can offer a variety of excuses if you would prefer the real reason doesn't come out.

Only you know what's really possible/manageable, but may I gently suggest what you've described sounds perfect for a party at a park with a shelter. Maybe you could enlist some help to put up your decorations and bring good your food...we have reserved a shelter right by a playground and it was perfect...party games, then food and pictures, them the playground to run off steam. Just a thought...good luck!

We have friends that had bed bugs and became somewhat paranoid as a result. They came to visit us when we lived in Canada. When they travel they keep everything in a vacuum sealed bags. When stuff is opened in a hotel room, it is considered tainted until it is laundered and dried. They brought in the post hotel stuff and I laundered it.

Could you launder some of their clothes and have them change when they get to your house?

Also, in the tail end of their infestation my daughter went for a sleep over for their daughter. We did the laundry thing then and did not "catch" the bed bugs.

ETA: I never thought I would be thankful that we "only" had lice. You find gratitude in the strangest of places.

Couple thoughts:

First, I am an entomologist and the nature of my work is that I have all the monitoring stuff and treatment material at my disposal - so in general we tend to worry less than other people who don't work in this field. That said, I'd have to move the party away from my house to prevent them from coming in - because to get them is that much of a pain in the ass.

Second, in a pest control seminar I was in earlier this year, we were talking about not only the financial price of dealing with an infestation, but also the inconvenience and frustration mentioned in a previous post, but *also* the shame and emotional toll of an infestation. Asking someone to change clothes before coming inside or leave their belongings outside, or worse, not come at all - ugh. I understand the reasons, but that would really hurt. Really.

So tread carefully. I would be cautious but also recognize that these folks may already be going through hell and being the family outcast right now might be really poor timing. I have no idea your family situation of course. I hope it works out!

And how is your baby 1?!

Eek. I'd change the party location. Since you said you already have food, decorations, etc. I'd move it to a park or some kind of room that could be rented.

The first birthday party isn't really for the child - he or she won't remember it - it is for the family.

That said, I'd have the party at a location away from the house so that all the various in-laws can come and you don't have to worry about bedbugs.

Ok, just throwing this out there - if they are treating the bedbugs now, would they be gone by next week? (I honestly have no clue how long it takes to get rid of them).


I would move the party to a park. Yes its a hassle. No, it wont be the same as having it at your house. BUT if you uninvite family, you could really hurt your relationship. Is it worth it?
I know its a hard place to be in, but sometimes a little sacrifice is better than offending family (even if you have good reason to).

Let us know what you decide!

I mean this in the gentlest way possible - but, MIL and you and DH will find this birthday less and less monumental in terms of needing to have a perfect party as he ages and there are more and more milestones to celebrate.  

First Easter egg hunt, first day of school, first school dance, first homecoming, graduation, marriage, etc. This party will fade into memory.  

I, personally think that family relationships and not damaging them is much more important than whether this is the perfect first birthday party or not. 

Is this the same BIL who's getting drunk at his kids bday party? If so I wouldn't worry about offending him much, clearly he didn't give much thought to offending people with his invite. I'd at the very least move the party outside/to the garage if the park isn't an option.

Yikes! But it seems like you were just sharing first pics of that little cutie, how can he be a year old already? 

Ummm, how is he almost 1?!! Man, kids grow up fast!

I understand that you don't want to hurt feelings or have anyone miss out on anything, but you also need to think about what is best for your family. If you really want them all to attend the party, I think it needs to move outdoors or to another location.

I'm not sure I would take the chance of my home getting invaded by bed bugs. Now way, jose! If it did happen, it for sure wouldn't be the highlight you'd want to remember from his first birthday.

Put it this way-do  you have the time and resources to eradicate your home of bedbugs? How would you feel if your baby woke up covered in bed bug bites? If you had to get rid of his favorite stuffed animal that can't be replaced? 
Your MIL gave you the out, take it!!! This isn't a cold, this is a potential infestation of difficult to eradicate bugs in your home.

I completely understand not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, but they clearly know that going to someone's home (or a hotel) when they have bed bugs is wrong!

As a bonus, maybe they will still have their issue at the time of their 1year old's drunken bday party and you can use that excuse again!

@mochimochi

As an elementary school teacher, I am seeing more and more bed big cases each year. Last year I had 4 students who had them in their home. They are not excluded from school. The only precaution the school takes in putting their coat and bag in an alternate location in a trash bag each day.

Keep in mind these are the cases we are informed of.

I would assume schools across the country are dealing with the same issue, so how does one protect themself when out in the community?

What precautions do you take?
What would you do first if you were exposed?
If they were found in your home, what would your treatment plan be?

I feel it is only a matter of time before I have an issue from one of my students.

This is a complicated one because schools are subject to special rules about pest control - for bed bugs, you want the pros: a company that knows how to deal with bed bugs. Just saying that in case you ever have an outbreak at school - suggest they call a pro and don't deal with it on site, such as with grounds crew or other staff.

I don't know how anyone can protect themselves if you come in contact with someone who is carrying them and you aren't aware. That could happen to anyone (oh god, airports). I travel for work, so I do some things in hotels, but for out-in-the-world exposures you have to know to be able to do anything.

If I'm worried I might have been somewhere they were, I get undressed in the garage and leave my luggage out there - everything goes directly into the wash on hot and gets dried with steam for an extra load (this is hell on your clothes, btw). I go over my bags and other things with a light and a scope before they come inside, but I'll often leave them in the garage for a long time to get hot-cold-hot a few times. I used to treat my cloth bags with insecticide, but I switched to hard-sided luggage, so that won't work now, but I'm less concerned about bugs hanging out on those bags.

I think "scouting" is probably the best thing you can do - be aware and look for them. They can't fly, and they are relatively shy - they only come near us to feed, so they will likely be in the folds of clothes or shoes or backpacks, not in clothes up against a person's skin.

Never put your bags, coat, etc on the floor. An elevated hard surface, like a sink or counter, is better. I'd pick a place other people don't hang around, like away from students or above their reach so no one's clothes brush against my things.

And sadly, I'd be careful about anyone hugging or leaning against me or letting their clothes rest on me (eg., a dress hem or a sweater or jacket that swings). I wouldn't freak out, I'd just avoid that kind of contact if I could.

Most people who struggle extensively with an infestation didn't hire a professional to deal with it - it can be managed successfully and quickly with someone who knows what they're doing - so that's reassuring at least. But it would still suck to have it happen. I hope that helps.