Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2016 12:07:01 GMT
Oct 21, 2016 5:46:20 GMT @amayalylac said:
elannah- You know we are all here for you. I have lost two children in a decade. There are some days I can't. A few years back there was a period in my life where I was losing somebody every single month. There were a couple of months had three deaths in one month. Three years ago a dear friend of mine committed suicide. This year has been a hard one with my DH's Mother passing. They were not close but it was still hard on my DH. Then a few months later a dear friend had a heart attack and died. My DH was the one that found him. Guess what my DH is doing? Shopping like crazy. It happens to men too. Grief is the worst thing in the world and we do the craziest stupid things during it. Least we all shop. It could be worse. I had friends that went to worse. Don't be hard on yourself. Your going through a process. You have to go through it. I know it sucks.
I have a nice paper ephemera box, all organized and pretty. I was going through it the other day. Found three things that reminded me of my baby. I fell apart. Threw everything back in the box and bawled. My DH has gone through boxes with me and has watched me fall apart completely. We put things in what we call a memory box. I have rubber stamps in this memory box. It is out of my room and in my box. I can go through that memory box now and say "This is stupid why do I have this in here." It is a crutch and keeps the things out of the room that is supposed to be healing for me.
Don't put pressure on yourself decluttering. I know easier said than done. Really try not too. You have a good start get rid of the things you know you will never use or not your style. Leave the emotional piles alone. Those will get easier. I promise they really do. It might take a month or even a year but you will get through them. Can you pack away emotional things and move them where you can not see them and they are out of the way?
I have a box of Christmas ornaments I couldn't open for three years. Last year I opened the box. Cradled each ornament and cried. A few weeks ago I was going through my holiday decorations organizing them. Opened my ornament box and could look at them without crying. When I did cry it was because of beautiful memories.
I know your best friend is trying to help. If your feeling sick to your stomach just tell her not yet. Tell her that causes you anxiety and go to a pile that does not. You will go back to that anxiety pile a little later.
You want to start with areas where you step back and your proud of what you accomplished. If you try to declutter piles that give you anxiety you will make mistakes and be back to square one. Trust me, I have been through this. You will make mistakes. You will get rid of things you did want. It can be purchased again. I know that isn't very comforting. You will get new and improved. I have done this and like my newer things better. I think it's because I didn't look at it and see dark times when using them. I have a rule I only use things in my art that make me happy.
I keep my brads in the little plastic bags for beads. I have them in a cute photo box. That is my pretty brad box. When I want a brad I just flip through my bead bags. I had so much room in that box if I want to add more brads to my collection.
I hope all that helps. I hope what I wrote wasn't too much TMI. I just don't want you to feel alone or that Mt. Everest would be easier to climb than decluttering.