eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Oct 16, 2016 3:39:24 GMT
I hate when that kind of stuff happens.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,076
Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 16, 2016 3:48:25 GMT
Am I the only one who thinks it's in very poor taste to bring a child to a bridal shower? I've never been to a bridal shower where children are present.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on Oct 16, 2016 3:51:59 GMT
Why is it poor taste? I didn't get the impression this was a lingerie shower.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Oct 16, 2016 3:58:05 GMT
I would have said something, thats just rude and obnoxious.
Actually, I honestly can't even remember having seen a child at any Bridal Shower I've ever been to.
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PaperAngel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,388
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Oct 16, 2016 4:28:22 GMT
As a guest, I dislike showers/parties where the honoree(s) opening gifts is on the agenda. This scenario would provide an excuse to exit early, since the hostess allowed gifts to be treated as entertainment for the recipient's young relative. I would hesitate to attend future events hosted by this person.
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Post by scrapaddict702 on Oct 16, 2016 4:41:57 GMT
This is exactly the type of parenting that makes people not want kids involved in their nuptials.
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 16, 2016 5:34:36 GMT
If no one else stopped it I would have looked the mother right in the eyes and said stop your child from ripping the gifts open, it is incredibly rude to the people who bought and wrapped those gifts specially for the bride. I have absolutely no problem calling someone on that kind of behavior.
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Post by Miss Ang on Oct 16, 2016 5:44:43 GMT
Yes, thank you ingrid , for speaking out. I wish more people would, or at least back up the one who does have the courage to speak up. What is one supposed to say to "back up" the courageous one? I don't usually hesitate to help people understand how "line ups" work, but if someone else jumps in to instruct, I'd feel a bit silly saying "Yeah! What she said!" If I'm not the one providing social instruction, then I'll usually say thank you to the other person who did ... but I wouldn't "pile on" I don't think it's so much what is "said" but how people around the offender react. Looking at the person as though you're annoyed or looking at the person who corrected the rude behavior and making eye contact, a smile, a nod of the head, etc. certainly says, "I agree with you. Thanks for speaking up."
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ingrid
Full Member
Posts: 490
Jun 26, 2014 0:52:41 GMT
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Post by ingrid on Oct 16, 2016 6:33:41 GMT
Yes, thank you ingrid , for speaking out. I wish more people would, or at least back up the one who does have the courage to speak up. What is one supposed to say to "back up" the courageous one? I don't usually hesitate to help people understand how "line ups" work, but if someone else jumps in to instruct, I'd feel a bit silly saying "Yeah! What she said!" If I'm not the one providing social instruction, then I'll usually say thank you to the other person who did ... but I wouldn't "pile on" I'm a reasonable person, so I would just appreciate a little synchronized snapping from the adults behind me when they sense a confrontation is taking place, like in West Side Story. I mean, is that really too much to ask? Seriously though, it's a fair question and I agree with Miss Ang's explanation. Thanks to everyone who made me feel a little less idiotic about my experience today.
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Post by Lexica on Oct 16, 2016 8:50:49 GMT
We just came home from a cute little fall festival at a farm down the road. There was a rope swing that kids and their parents were waiting patiently in line for and right before it was my son's turn, a woman ran up with her two children and told them to hop onto the swing. Just cruised right by the line of people. Hoping she was just oblivious to the line, I tried to be as nice as possible and said something like, "Oh! The line for the swing actually starts back there, my son was just getting ready to take his turn!" Her response? "Yeah, I know but my kids will be quick and they're just dying to swing on this thing." Even after I pointed out that all of the kids in line were "dying" to swing, which is why they've waited for so long (still trying to be friendly, but my plastered-on smile probably looked utterly psychotic at this point) she just looked at me like I was trying to set her children on fire or something. But NO ONE ELSE said a word! The people in line just sort of looked around like they were pretending nothing had happened, and I wound up feeling like the jerk who made a big deal out of nothing even though we had been standing in line for ten minutes. I don't understand when it became the norm to just accept rude and selfish behavior, but I wish more people would speak up a little more. Although, I can completely understand why they don't. I'm still cringing and blushing just typing this out when I think about the line incident. I know the woman was in the wrong, but I still feel dumb for pointing it out because everyone else stayed quiet. I wish I had been there. I would have absolutely had your back on that. I would have even approached the swing and held onto the chains so that it could not be used until her child got out and yours got in. Mothers like that are doing no favor for their child. The kid is going to assume everyone else should allow him/her to do whatever they want, regardless of whether or not it is fair. I am a pretty mellow person overall, but I cannot stand injustice. It just fires me up and before I know it, I'm involved. My ex used to get upset with me wherever I got involved in something that was basically none of my concern. He called me "Mother of the world" because I would discipline children that were not mine and always try to make things fair and proper. And by discipline, I don't mean I would spank them or anything. I would just quietly point out that their behavior was wrong and that they need to change it. I have a really really hard time fighting the impulse to correct a wrong though. I have never been yelled at by anyone, and usually people around me seem to appreciate me saying something and they will join in once I do. SaveSave
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
Jun 26, 2014 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by gloryjoy on Oct 16, 2016 13:30:42 GMT
Can I just say I hate when kids are at showers. Any shower I have ever been to where there are young children, they either do things like mentioned above, touch all the food on the table with their dirty hands, run around the room because they are bored and everyone oohs and ahhs over them and think it's cute. And I am used to kids. I have two of my own, a grandson with another on the way, and I have worked in daycare for 30+ years, I've seen it all.
However it's not the kids fault, it's the parents.
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Post by Miss Ang on Oct 16, 2016 13:49:08 GMT
What is one supposed to say to "back up" the courageous one? I don't usually hesitate to help people understand how "line ups" work, but if someone else jumps in to instruct, I'd feel a bit silly saying "Yeah! What she said!" If I'm not the one providing social instruction, then I'll usually say thank you to the other person who did ... but I wouldn't "pile on" I'm a reasonable person, so I would just appreciate a little synchronized snapping from the adults behind me when they sense a confrontation is taking place, like in West Side Story. I mean, is that really too much to ask? Seriously though, it's a fair question and I agree with Miss Ang's explanation. Thanks to everyone who made me feel a little less idiotic about my experience today. Synchronized snapping. Seriously, I'm dying. But seriously, I have no issue redirecting people in public when they are being blatantly rude and acting as if they had NO CLUE. I did that on Black Friday at a store where the line was one long line with several registers being fed from the line. I'd been waiting with my daughter (20) for a long while in the line and a young couple just popped up in the line where a customer was about to leave the register before a customer from the line could get there. I popped over there and said, "Excuse me, there's actually a line and all the registers are taking customers from the line. It actually starts back there (pointing in the general direction). She leaned around the corner with bulging eyeballs and said, "Alllll the way back there?" And with a sugary smile I said, "Yeah, that's where we all started. It's going to take awhile! :Insert more sugary smiles: My daughter was laughing as she told the story and says, "Mom was giving those people her "mom eyes" so I think they were scared to not go away from the register." They walked away and the people around me said, "Thanks for saying something. I was going to only I wouldn't have been that nice."
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Post by myshelly on Oct 16, 2016 13:54:47 GMT
Yes, thank you ingrid , for speaking out. I wish more people would, or at least back up the one who does have the courage to speak up. What is one supposed to say to "back up" the courageous one? I don't usually hesitate to help people understand how "line ups" work, but if someone else jumps in to instruct, I'd feel a bit silly saying "Yeah! What she said!" If I'm not the one providing social instruction, then I'll usually say thank you to the other person who did ... but I wouldn't "pile on" I think the idea of a pile on is flawed. In the case where no one else spoke up the person cutting can justify thinking "I'm not the rude one, that crazy person who spoke up is the rude one." Whereas if everyone agrees with the person who speaks up and the person who cut knows she is the only one who thinks it's ok to cut then it's different. Being shown that everyone else agrees isn't a pile on.
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Post by vspindler on Oct 16, 2016 14:07:51 GMT
I hate it when kids are acting up and the parents of the special snowflake are not around/paying attention, or worse, aware and doing nothing. They are doing the child no favors.
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Oct 16, 2016 15:03:48 GMT
At the shower of an old childhood friend, I wrapped her baby gifts chronologically to represent different phases of our childhood, teenage, years, and adulthood, and the thought behind it was completely lost on the recipient because all of her stuff was opened already. I think it's stupid. In the situation you described, I would have said something. That's just rude parenting. What a great idea and thoughtful thing to do
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julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
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Post by julieb on Oct 16, 2016 15:33:35 GMT
We just came home from a cute little fall festival at a farm down the road. There was a rope swing that kids and their parents were waiting patiently in line for and right before it was my son's turn, a woman ran up with her two children and told them to hop onto the swing. Just cruised right by the line of people. Hoping she was just oblivious to the line, I tried to be as nice as possible and said something like, "Oh! The line for the swing actually starts back there, my son was just getting ready to take his turn!" Her response? "Yeah, I know but my kids will be quick and they're just dying to swing on this thing." Even after I pointed out that all of the kids in line were "dying" to swing, which is why they've waited for so long (still trying to be friendly, but my plastered-on smile probably looked utterly psychotic at this point) she just looked at me like I was trying to set her children on fire or something. But NO ONE ELSE said a word! The people in line just sort of looked around like they were pretending nothing had happened, and I wound up feeling like the jerk who made a big deal out of nothing even though we had been standing in line for ten minutes. I don't understand when it became the norm to just accept rude and selfish behavior, but I wish more people would speak up a little more. Although, I can completely understand why they don't. I'm still cringing and blushing just typing this out when I think about the line incident. I know the woman was in the wrong, but I still feel dumb for pointing it out because everyone else stayed quiet. Incredibly rude of the mom in the OP. I don't get even bringing kids or babies to showers. We just got back from Venice and we were in line to sneak a peek at an incredible view. Two young adults (18-21 yo) tried to cut in line and I said "no - the line is back there". They totally were trying to get away with it and slunk to the back of the line. Probably 10 years ago I wouldn't have said anything, but I've gotten bolder. No respect. Makes me more angry when it is an adult with kids - what a poor example.
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Post by destined2bmom on Oct 16, 2016 15:59:34 GMT
Really, just really? I am glad that all of you ladies were strong enough to stand up for what is right! It seems the more I hear and witness, the more I realize that people have no respect for others and they feel entitled to do what they want to do. Sad thing is that it is rampant in today's world. You see it in everyday life and clear up to the campaign. And you also see the bullying. If adults really want to stop bullying; then they need to stop feeling entitled and show respect for humanity. Wait there turn, teach their children the word "No" and "You Have to Wait" and it would have been nice if the parents could have asked the bride, "May so and so open one gift for you; the one we brought?" or "Would you mind if my child got on the swing?" ; or "Would you 25 people mind if we cut in front of the line?". Okay, I am off my soapbox... Save
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 16, 2016 16:08:03 GMT
We just came home from a cute little fall festival at a farm down the road. There was a rope swing that kids and their parents were waiting patiently in line for and right before it was my son's turn, a woman ran up with her two children and told them to hop onto the swing. Just cruised right by the line of people. Hoping she was just oblivious to the line, I tried to be as nice as possible and said something like, "Oh! The line for the swing actually starts back there, my son was just getting ready to take his turn!" Her response? "Yeah, I know but my kids will be quick and they're just dying to swing on this thing." Even after I pointed out that all of the kids in line were "dying" to swing, which is why they've waited for so long (still trying to be friendly, but my plastered-on smile probably looked utterly psychotic at this point) she just looked at me like I was trying to set her children on fire or something. But NO ONE ELSE said a word! The people in line just sort of looked around like they were pretending nothing had happened, and I wound up feeling like the jerk who made a big deal out of nothing even though we had been standing in line for ten minutes. I don't understand when it became the norm to just accept rude and selfish behavior, but I wish more people would speak up a little more. Although, I can completely understand why they don't. I'm still cringing and blushing just typing this out when I think about the line incident. I know the woman was in the wrong, but I still feel dumb for pointing it out because everyone else stayed quiet. line cutting pisses me off. I am known for telling people no way are the cutting in front of me. You are right though, most people won't say anything thing and do nothing to back you up.
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Post by jumperhop on Oct 16, 2016 16:29:03 GMT
A few years ago a a water park I told some girls that had just cut in line in front of me where the line started. The lady behind me called me out saying she had less things to worry about than two girls cutting in line and that it was just two girls and it wasn't going to ruin my day having to wait an extra five minutes. You really can't win. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Now I just keep my mouth shut is and just let the anger build inside of me. 😃 Jen
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Post by Alexxussss on Oct 16, 2016 17:04:04 GMT
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 16, 2016 17:08:12 GMT
A few years ago a a water park I told some girls that had just cut in line in front of me where the line started. The lady behind me called me out saying she had less things to worry about than two girls cutting in line and that it was just two girls and it wasn't going to ruin my day having to wait an extra five minutes. You really can't win. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Now I just keep my mouth shut is and just let the anger build inside of me. 😃 Jen I'd tell her to feel free to take their place at the end Entitled people pissed me off
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Post by scrapmaven on Oct 16, 2016 17:17:24 GMT
Mommy's little darling needs to be kept away from the gifts. It's not always about us. Sometimes we have to be happy for someone else. This isn't your birthday party, little bundle of perfection. Wouldn't that create thank you note chaos? As the bride or mother of the bride I would have gently said something to the little superstar from mommy's womb. In otherwards, "HEY SLOBBY LADY. CONTROL YOUR KID".
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 16, 2016 17:20:41 GMT
We stopped off on spur of the moment to go to a baseball game. There were four ticket booths open. We stood in line for a while at the first booth and I noticed that our line wasn't moving. My husband held our place in line while I walked up to the booth to see what the hold up was.
People coming from the parking lot were walking right up to the ticket booth and cutting into the front of the line. The spineless men in the line weren't saying anything and just letting it happen. I started telling people that they had to go to the end of the line. Some were so persistent that they kept cutting the line anyway. I got pissed and started being very vocal then I went down the line and made each person put their hand on the shoulder of the person front of them forming a barrier that couldn't be broken. I policed the line until we got our tickets. Everyone was congratulating me and backing me up for doing that but what the hell is wrong with people who will allow that to go on? These were grown men who just passively let people walk all over them.
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
Jun 26, 2014 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by gloryjoy on Oct 16, 2016 17:26:21 GMT
This post is starting to make me think of drivers who like to cut in line, because you know they are special and all and can't wait in the lineup of traffic like everyone else.
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Post by bigbundt on Oct 16, 2016 17:27:49 GMT
Very rude. Most showers I've been to had children but I have never seen a child anywhere close enough to the gifts to open them. That is ridiculous.
In those instances I wonder if parents are just beat down. I know I allow my child to do more things when she has beaten me into a pulp because I just don't have the mental fortitude to have another fight with her at that point. And she is a very normal six year old, I couldn't even imagine with a child with issues. But I would never allow her to do something like that at a party. Have another cupcake? Sure. Jump in the bouncy house for five more minutes? Sure. Open gifts? No.
In the previously mentioned instances whether I speak up or not depends on the moment. You never know if the person you talk to will escalate the situation and attack or shoot you.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 16, 2016 17:31:22 GMT
Why is it poor taste? I didn't get the impression this was a lingerie shower. Kids do not belong at showers... particularly bridal showers, regardless of the theme. It is an adult party, not a kids one. Even if it's a baby shower. I'm not interested in dealing with speshul snowflakes being loud, obnoxious and out of place. I don't understand why we can't dial back the "kids must be everywhere" shit.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 16, 2016 17:32:13 GMT
Can I just say I hate when kids are at showers. Any shower I have ever been to where there are young children, they either do things like mentioned above, touch all the food on the table with their dirty hands, run around the room because they are bored and everyone oohs and ahhs over them and think it's cute. And I am used to kids. I have two of my own, a grandson with another on the way, and I have worked in daycare for 30+ years, I've seen it all. However it's not the kids fault, it's the parents. It's like the moms completely forget they are parents and just let the kids roam wild. It's so annoying.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Oct 16, 2016 17:34:32 GMT
Mommy's little darling needs to be kept away from the gifts. It's not always about us. Sometimes we have to be happy for someone else. This isn't your birthday party, little bundle of perfection. Wouldn't that create thank you note chaos? As the bride or mother of the bride I would have gently said something to the little superstar from mommy's womb. In otherwards, "HEY SLOBBY LADY. CONTROL YOUR KID". My colleague has no control over her kid. The kid is becoming a monster, but the mom plays the "I can't control her" card. All. The. Time. She was telling me about a birthday party that she went to last weekend where her speshul snowflake was having tantrums because the party wasn't all about her and that she couldn't open presents and take them home. I stood there with my mouth agape when she says that she's in trouble but can't seem to do anything about it.
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Post by bigbundt on Oct 16, 2016 17:50:42 GMT
Why is it poor taste? I didn't get the impression this was a lingerie shower. Kids do not belong at showers... particularly bridal showers, regardless of the theme. It is an adult party, not a kids one. Even if it's a baby shower. I'm not interested in dealing with speshul snowflakes being loud, obnoxious and out of place. I don't understand why we can't dial back the "kids must be everywhere" shit. Not all social circles are like yours. In mine growing up showers and weddings generally included kids. Most girls I grew up with started going to showers around 7 or so and my experience was the same. Basically the event was used to teach children manners and how to act at certain events. My mom reiterated the rules and I was expected to act like an adult because it was an event for a grown-up. If I had stepped one toe out of line, my mom would have dislocated my shoulder she would have taken me out of there so fast. But loved going to showers, I felt so grown up sitting nicely in a pretty dress and chatting with the ladies. It was basically a real life tea party with cake. In my current area it is still 50/50 whether kids are included or not. I prefer to not bring my kids so I get a break. The problem isn't kids at these events, it is the parents not parenting.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 16, 2016 17:57:03 GMT
At parent teacher conferences, I have seen a few toddlers try to rip apart my room while the parent smiles. One parent told me that she paid for the things in my room with her taxes. Thankfully that was not the norm, but there are just certain situations that kids don't do well in. I can't for the life of me think why they didn't ask the kid in my room to watch the toddler out in the hallway quietly.
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