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Post by donna on Feb 11, 2017 11:55:21 GMT
I haven't been here in a while because I could not deal with the stress of all the political stuff so soon after my heart issues.
My oldest son deployed in June and will be home at the beginning of April. I have been having stomach issues since right after he left. I thought the issues were stress related due to his deployment. I had an upper GI in November right before Thanksgiving. The doctor said I had gastritis and GERD. I have been taking proton pump inhibitors since then but nothing was making the stomach pain better.
I went back to my PCP last Friday because I was hurting really badly and my stool color had changed. He ordered a CT scan with contrast which I had on Monday, Feb 6. The results came back that same day. I have a 4 cm tumor in the head of my pancreas. So I go in thinking I need my gallbladder removed to find out I have pancreatic cancer. From the scans, it appears to not have spread yet. We have been trying to get an oncology appointment since Monday and finally have one for this Wednesday.
Only my dh knows because my PCP (who had kidney cancer himself a few months ago) suggested that we keep it to ourselves until we have met with the oncologist. My dh doesn't really want to talk about all the thoughts going on in my head until we have a clear plan from the oncologist. From what my PCP said Monday, I will probably be having surgery very soon. I have done my research and the surgery for pancreatic cancer in this location is called a Whipple. It sounds absolutely awful. I must admit that part of me has considered not allowing myself to be put through all of that when in the long run the cancer will come back.
I know I am probably rambling, but I need to get these thoughts out with someone! I am scared and sad and trying to walk around like everything is okay.
I am going to have to tell my sons today because my deployed son is going to be sent to some training away from his unit on the 14th and i don't want him to be alone when he finds out. Then I have to figure out how to tell my brothers and Mom. My Mom had a small stroke this last weekend. My brother, who lives next door to her, has said we are not to tell her anything stressful. He tells me this on Tuesday when I am sitting here with a major stressful thing to tell.
How do I deal with my job? A sub can't teach Honors Chemistry and AP Chemistry. Even if I use technology to remote in, I don't think I am going to be in any condition to do that if I have this surgery. Will I have to go on disability? That is going to mean less money coming in with really high medical bills. I don't want to bankrupt my family.
Then my brain jumps to all of the things I haven't done. I haven't scrapbooked my boys baby pictures. I have started, but only have about the first couple of months with the 1st one done and a couple of weeks with the 2nd one. Just walking in my craft room last night depressed me. I keep looking at different things in my life and wonder if they even matter anymore.
Please pray for me, my dh, my sons and the rest of my family. This is going to be a difficult journey. I want to travel it in a way that will show my faith and be a comfort to my family. Thanks
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michellegb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,915
Location: New England and loving it!
Jun 26, 2014 0:04:59 GMT
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Post by michellegb on Feb 11, 2017 12:02:30 GMT
I am so sorry for your diagnosis. Saying prayers for you and your family and sending big, big hugs...
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,080
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Feb 11, 2017 12:14:34 GMT
I know a teacher who survived pancreatic cancer 14 years ago, so it is possible. She is retired now, but taught the highest math classes for gifted. Enriched AP Calculus, etc. They found a long term sub. They will for you, too. She was out several weeks after 12 hour surgery and came back to an adjusted schedule that allowed breaks through the day. She had chemo. She is still alive, having retired seven years ago.
Surviving cancer gave her a new perspective. She did only the things that gave her joy. Teaching was one so she went back. Lots of obligatory things fell away.
I think a wonderful, smart person like you will figure this out and you will have the support you need through this. Everything is not all dependent on you, despite what you may think. You need to take care of you first to have the best chance to beat this. Nothing else matters but your health. Turn over all the other stuff to someone else.
I will be thinking of you. Please keep us updated.
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Post by cmhs on Feb 11, 2017 12:15:48 GMT
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My prayers are with you.
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Post by miominmio on Feb 11, 2017 12:16:17 GMT
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. ((Hugs)) and positive thoughts coming your way.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,772
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Feb 11, 2017 12:16:35 GMT
(((HUGS))) I'm sorry
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Feb 11, 2017 12:25:13 GMT
Oh my word. I am so sorry to hear this donna. It is so very strong of you to want to show your faith and be a comfort to your family. That is an amazing attitude. I think telling your family now is the right thing to do, especially as you say so your son is not alone. Would it help to tell your brother and then your mom? His comment about not telling her anything stressful...well, he doesn't know what you're going through. And I can guarantee that your mom would be more upset to be kept in the dark. I wish I had answers about work, and money, I'm in the UK so things are different here. But I know that people will want to help you, so let them. Let them teach your classes, help you financially, cook you meals. People will say 'is there anything I can do' ...take them up on it. I have had cancer myself and I know those dark thoughts. Don't worry about big projects or things you haven't done. Do little things, as and when you feel like it, and celebrate each achievement. Be kind to yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts for good news from your medical team, that you can find the way to share this with your family, and that you feel yourself surrounded with love and support. 😙
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Post by christine58 on Feb 11, 2017 12:26:36 GMT
Oh donna I am so sorry for your diagnosis. BUT there have been so many advances in pancreatic cancer treatment lately. Your school will figure it out. What kind of sick leave are you provided?? Do you by chance have a retirement pension that would also provide some disability monies??? I would also think your health insurance is going to cover a lot of your treatment. HUGS from one teacher to another!! Glad you are back posting here and please let us help support you!! Come vent or cry or scream!! Prayers!
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Post by gar on Feb 11, 2017 12:29:36 GMT
The maelstrom of thoughts you must be having...I'm sure that's so common after this sort of event but I hope you can see the way forward more clearly very soon.
((hugs))
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Post by Merge on Feb 11, 2017 12:43:45 GMT
(Hugs) to you. Tell your admin what you're dealing with and let them worry about finding an appropriate sub. You need to focus on your surgery and treatment and beating this, so you can get back to teaching another day. As for bothering/bankrupting your family - this is one of those situations where you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help anyone else. Your needs here are critical and I'm sure your family will agree.
My best wishes to you. Please keep us posted and don't be a stranger. You can avoid the political threads on the board now by staying away from the ones with the red political tags.
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Post by Linda on Feb 11, 2017 12:49:45 GMT
((((Hugs)))) and prayers
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,983
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Feb 11, 2017 12:52:31 GMT
Sending you lots of positive thoughts. (((Hugs)))
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,783
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Feb 11, 2017 12:52:51 GMT
I am so sorry. Huge hugs to you.
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Post by baslp on Feb 11, 2017 12:55:21 GMT
So sorry to hear about this diagnosis and the other issues going on in your life. Hang in there.
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Post by JoP on Feb 11, 2017 13:03:22 GMT
donna sending hugs and positive thoughts your way
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Post by mom on Feb 11, 2017 13:08:29 GMT
I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It must be scary.
I would tell your family (meaning your sons). This is too much to carry alone. I would not tell your mom just yet. Wait to see what the Oncologist says.
Also? Take a deep breath. Your mental state will truly effect how this all turns out. Keep positive. I know thats hard, but you want to beat this and the best thing besides a great doctor team is being positive.
And the school? Once you've met with your oncologist, then go talk to your administration. Let them carry this part of the burden for you. They will figure it out.
As far as the money - well, it will work itself out. I know thats hard to just to not worry about but your njob as of now is to fight this ugly cancer.
Remember you can always come talk and vent to the Peas. We are here for you.
Prayers for peace for you. You can do this.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Feb 11, 2017 13:20:20 GMT
Prayers being said. I know several people who had the Whipple procedure who are still kicking around healthy today. I wish the same for you.
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Post by mollycoddle on Feb 11, 2017 13:27:53 GMT
I'm sorry for your news, Donna, and hope that the surgery has good results. It's time to put yourself first for awhile.
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Post by leslie132 on Feb 11, 2017 13:28:00 GMT
I know notthing about what your dealing with. Other than your scared. I do, however know how to pray and send positive thoughts. I will be praying for you and your family as you wirk through this diagnosis back to a healthy you!!
Hugs
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 11, 2017 13:28:17 GMT
Don't give up hope. My DH was told he had a year to live with stage IV kidney cancer. That was ten years ago this April. The advances being made in cancer are amazing. He has metastasis on his pancreas, liver, lungs, bones, and remaining kidney. Yet, his quality of life is still excellent. YOU FIGHT!
It is easy for me to say don't worry about your job. But, truly, this is the time to take care of YOU. They will figure out a sub. File for disability immediately.
Let your brother handle your mother. When your friends offer help, take it. I mean this. Take it! Let a friend go with you and your DH to see the oncologist. We took our SIL, who is a nurse. She was able to take notes for us.
You have my prayers, dear Pea friend.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,183
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Feb 11, 2017 13:41:35 GMT
You've been hit with a lot lately and I think all the thoughts you're having are normal. All I can say about that is to take one thing at a time and believe the rest will work out as you go through this. Like others, I know someone who had the Whipple surgery several years ago and is still alive today.
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Post by peasapie on Feb 11, 2017 13:45:22 GMT
First and foremost -- wishing you the very best as you untangle all this. I will say that I have a friend who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 8 months ago and she is now cancer free. (Surgery and chemo). It seems they have many new treatments that are doing great things.
I think you will be a little less stressed if you let everyone around you step up to help relieve you of some of these worries. You must let yourself focus on your health. That means you tell your brother and he figures out the best way to tell your mom. You tell your sons and let them know you will be focusing on getting through this. That will help them and they will be your cheerleaders. Ask about your options at school for taking a leave and getting disability.
You sound like someone who takes care of everyone around you. Right now you need permission to let them take care of you while you take care of getting yourself well. Big hugs to you!
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schooner3
Junior Member
Refupea 755
Posts: 80
Jun 26, 2014 3:16:22 GMT
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Post by schooner3 on Feb 11, 2017 13:46:13 GMT
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My mother had the Whipple when she was 80. Unfortunately, it was too late for her, since the cancer was already in her lymph nodes. I can't remember how long the recovery from the surgery was, but she had the Whipple in October (2008) and I know she was completely recovered from the surgery by Christmas. I'm telling you this because I'm sure that if my mom came through it at her age, it will be much more do-able for you!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 11, 2017 13:54:54 GMT
((((hugs))))
I am sorry for your diagnosis. Medical science has come so far in treating pancreatic cancer, so keep the hope.
Don't worry about your school situation. Tell your administrators about your situation, and it is their job to find long term subs. They will.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care of yourself, and let others take care of you.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 11, 2017 13:55:55 GMT
Oh no! If there's any sliver lining at all, at least now you know what it is and can work toward resolving it. Sending prayers your way for the strength to get through all this, that it's completely contained and that when you have the surgery they're able to get it all out in one fell swoop. It sounds like you have a good support system with your family and that will help a lot. Let them help you. It will be a long road but you can do this. Just take each day one at a time and hang in there. We're all here rooting for you! Hugs--
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Post by Zee on Feb 11, 2017 14:04:14 GMT
Everyone already said what I wanted to say, so I will just give you hugs and know I'm sending you good thoughts for recovery. Take heart from the positive experiences shared here!
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Feb 11, 2017 14:23:06 GMT
Prayers
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 5:17:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2017 14:23:11 GMT
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. You'll be in my prayers.
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Post by chrissyc72 on Feb 11, 2017 14:26:09 GMT
So sorry....praying
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Post by wandawoman on Feb 11, 2017 14:27:36 GMT
I am so sorry. You will be in my prayers.
Are you the Donna from Georgia? If you are the one I'm thinking of, you decided to paint your living room at night in your nightgown and your neighbor had to come over to let you know that the light was shining right through it. If that's you, I don't know why I remembered that, but you have given me a lot of chuckles.
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