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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 21, 2017 23:56:13 GMT
One thing I would do is buy her a copy of The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. You can order it at Amazon. Sounds like she has had a sheltered life and giving her street smarts is a good idea. You can talk to her about drinking and drugs and remind her that if she turns her head away from her beverage then she shouldn't drink from it, again, stuff like that. I would never send a person anywhere w/a blow torch. If you have a weapon you need to be trained w/it. By the time she grabs it from her bag and positions it in her hand it could be grabbed and used against her. Pepper spray isn't always effective. If someone is high on certain drugs it doesn't always affect them, because their pain sensors are turned off. Also, tasers don't work on everyone's body chemistry, especially if they're high. Arm her w/life skills and a good self defense class!
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 22, 2017 2:26:31 GMT
so what exactly was the blow torch suppose to be for??!LOL I can't imagine she would carry one around? someone attacks her and she whips out her blow torch, frantically clicking it to get it started? it's like cartoonish. There must be another alternative for the pepper spray. My dd's both have small purse sized ones. No one even knows about them.
In terms of the drinking, it's really hard to say. Has the niece expressed how SHE feels? I have 2 dd's. one had NO interest in under age drinking, and still doesn't really drink. She drinks a glass of wine maybe 1x a month. Youngest dd, DID have an interest. Expressed it to us, and we let her have drinks at home, until she turned 21. She is safe when she's out drinking, and knows all the not to do's. She learned this from us, but also her friends. I honestly think it means more if it comes from friends, and peers. Not your mom or family.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 22, 2017 7:03:23 GMT
There are plenty of ways to prepare someone for college life without having her actually drink alcohol. We talked to our girls since they were in elementary school about drugs and alcohol. I personally do not drink; hubby has wine with dinner and that's it. Our girls will be 23 soon, and they survived college without drinking. They are like their mama and don't see the need. I think great communication and someone she can confide in is much more important than what you are proposing IMO. I agree and I'm trying to figure out why so many people think everyone has to or wants to drink. There are people that don't care about drinking, don't like the effects of drinking or don't like the taste of alcohol. My family has a lot of alcoholism in it. Both of my mom's parents were alcoholics and they had 5 kids. Three of the kids are in AA and two of the kids rarely drink. My dad is an alcoholic and of his five kids, I'm the only one that doesn't drink much, two are alcoholics and two are social drinkers. I have three kids. My 35 yr old ds drinks but is aware of the alcoholism on both sides of his family. Neither of my dd's care to drink. The oldest is 28 and the youngest is 18. Both of them have made comments about my one sister always trying to push alcohol on them at family gatherings. This sister was trying to figure out what my 18 yr old will be able to drink because she doesn't like soda. It seems hard for some to understand that not everyone cares to drink. Yes, it may be a big deal in college, but there are kids there that are not drinking by choice. Yes I have educated my kids on drinking and smoking and sex and . . . It's my job as their parent to also teach them how to make choices and not follow the crowd. So not only have I had the drinking/smoking/sex talks with them and lead by example, I have also taught them how to think for themselves. Our situation is similar to gmcwife1 in that there is a lot of substance abuse on both sides of our kid's family. Because there seems to be a hereditary component to addiction, that will color how we approach it with our kid. I've read that kids related to addicts are more likely to have issues as a result of early exposure and I worry about that. I would also pay for a self defense class where they teach you ways to defend yourself with your own body or with things you typically have with you like a purse or backpack. |
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305 
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Post by kibblesandbits on Jun 22, 2017 14:27:02 GMT
Q1 - I can't for the life of me figure out how this is your job, or your business, in any way shape or form.
Q2 - you're just fucking with us, I'm sure of it.
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Post by Tamhugh on Jun 22, 2017 14:43:18 GMT
I would have been ok, and was ok with allowing my kids to have a few drinks on vacation with us the summer before they went to college. At family events, they were allowed to have a glass of wine if they wanted it (one usually tried a little, one did not). I would not have been ok with another family member deciding it was their job to teach them how to drink. I also would never have made that decision for another parent.
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