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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 26, 2017 15:57:58 GMT
DH and I would be considered 'unequally yoked' but neither of us has to compromise a core value in order to make it work. Our core values, our morals, are the same. He just happens to believe in a god, and I don't. ^^^ this is why I think the term 'unequally yoked' doesn't mean anything in a secular world... all the information I saw about it was in terms of how it was a situation that isn't / shouldn't be acceptable to the two people involved, and this is not always the case. As multiple examples in this thread have shown, including this particular one from Dalai Mama, there are plenty of situations out there where different values do NOT have to mean 'unacceptable' in a relationship. Even the 'dentist with someone who doesn't have teeth' or 'fitness trainer with someone who weighs 300 lbs' don't automatically mean they're incompatible as far as their relationship goes. If the two people in the relationship are okay with their differences, they're not 'unequally yoked' no matter what their relationship looks like from the outside.
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Post by 50offscrapper on Jul 28, 2017 4:12:33 GMT
Take it from the actual literal example of the oxen. The load is not equally distributed. One is carrying more of the load, the other less. One is faster, the other is slower. One is going left, the other is going right. Basically, it is an unbalanced situation.
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Post by katiejane on Jul 28, 2017 6:20:30 GMT
Certainly not selling out - but being in a relationship where your values, expectations and beliefs may differ on fundamental issues, and depending on whether you can negotiate, come to an agreement or compromise on those issues it could cause stress or damage the relationship.
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Post by lynettedunn212 on Jul 28, 2017 13:24:36 GMT
used to refer to Christians not marrying non-Christians ^^^ unequally yoked: "When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another." -- from my brief Google search, this phrase is used Biblically in a context to discourage the practice, yes? to discourage a believer from marrying a non-believer? total opposites, with nothing in common at all? If that's the case, then I don't think there IS a secular term or secular circumstances that fit this description. I am 'politically mismatched' with my boyfriend because he is a conservative Republican, but that is NOT the be-all, end-all situation on which our relationship is based, so I don't see that as the same as being 'unequally yoked.' In the sense that a relationship between two such individuals wouldn't work out, I mean... there are plenty of circumstances where the two people having different values still have a successful relationship. There are plenty of circumstances where it WOULDN'T, too, but I can't think of a different short phrase or term that describes that. Growing up in church we were always given the explanation of the oxen (since that's what the term is referring to in the Bible). I think it is the correct phrase for what your looking for, and for the secular world, the Yoke can be whatever you choose for it to represent...the most important thing in your life...because as a Christian, that should be Christ...so if you don't have that in common with your spouse, there are many things that will come from that to make the two people be (as mentioned) "at odds with one another." I think as long as it's explained with the oxen and what a yoke actually is (may need to research first?), people will understand the direction you're going!
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