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Post by lindywholoveskids on Sept 8, 2014 17:19:26 GMT
if you look at programs other than missions, there are many in Guatemala. I agree that it's unsafe in Guatemala. Not a place I would send my daughter. even with security. We have friends that were on a mission in the Mideast and they returned home because women were being killed.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 8, 2014 17:50:02 GMT
Maybe once she gets out of college she can join the Peace Corps. it was an amazing experience for me. I am still close to my Peace Corps friends, but unfortunately I lost contact with some Costa Rican friends in the community where we worked. Yay for the Peace Corps. I was in Burkina Faso, West Africa for three years. I have never met anyone else who has been to Burkina Faso! My sister was in the Peace Corps in Maurtainia we travelled to Burkina Faso when she finished. I loved it there!
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Post by jenjie on Sept 8, 2014 19:32:45 GMT
Take it for what it's worth but I watched Matt Lauer's interview with Dr. Kent Brantley. He said he went on several short mission trips. One of those trips led to his decision to become a medical doctor.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Sept 8, 2014 21:33:02 GMT
If you are looking for this mission trip to be a long-term transformative experience for your daughter, you are wasting time/money.
I used to work for an organization that (in part) organized/ran mission trips for all ages. Often teens did these trips to fulfill community service requirements at their school, church, etc. We examined the impact of these trips on the recipients and the volunteers over time as part of a study. These trips were largely considered successful from the recipient pov -- they were glad they got new roofs or flooring or that their clothing pantry was organized, etc. The volunteer's "success" depended largely on their long-term commitment to voluntarism PRIOR to going on the trip. I am not going to get into the details of my former job, so you can take or leave what I say as truth as you see fit, but here is what I saw from working with, literally, THOUSANDS of young people over the years:
The majority of typical teens do NOT have a deep lightbulb moment that makes them realize how privileged they are and inspires them to spend more time helping the less fortunate/understanding how lucky they are. If a lightbulb moment occurs on the trip, it's 40 watt at best -- in other words, a shallow understanding that does not illuminate very far. Whatever awareness and concern they did gain, will gradually extinguish as they are enfolded back into their regular lives. The memories diminish and since they don't "see" the need locally in their daily lives, it quickly becomes "those poor people over there... who have nothing to do with me or how we live here."
Those kids who have a serious, transformative experience or a deep lightbulb moment are 99% of the time the kids whose were already primed to have the lightbulb switched on -- they have done community service with the less fortunate on a REGULAR basis for YEARS long BEFORE they go on the trip.
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Post by Really Red on Sept 8, 2014 22:21:13 GMT
Mallie - thank you. That is a great opinion from someone who has BTDT and with the kids. The other kids going with my DD had the moment and are returning, but I think their enthusiasm has my DD psyched, too. My DD has done MUCH community service. She always has at least (no kidding) 10 times what she needs and started when she was 5 years old. I haven't seen that make a single in change in her. It has in her twin sister, but not in her. DD loves to do community service because she really loves to help people, but I don't see it changing her forever. I am very empathetic and this stuff would change me forever and ever. I never forgot what I saw, but she's not the same person as either I or her sister. I want to give her that chance to be a better person. She took the time and effort to earn the money and she has taken all her birthday/Christmas money and put it toward this. That does mean something to me. I guess even though I agree with you and your points are great, what if this is her lightbulb experience? She's not going with friends, not going someplace "fun" and she has to spend her money to do it. She's not going because she has to for her service hours. She did at least 80hrs over the summer and easily fulfilled her NHS hours (I think that was a ridiculous 15 or 20) and she does several hours a week otherwise. So my question for you is do you think that someone like my DD, who is NOT altruistic or empathetic, but determined, has a chance to have a lightbulb moment? Even a 40W one? Maybe since she's young, it'll be those stupid new lights that last longer, but don't give off a pretty glow . I'm trying to be as honest as possible. It's hard to say my child isn't empathetic, but she is not, and she is entitled to a certain extent. But I see the hard work to get to this place, too. I honestly feel so torn. One second, I think she should and the next I think it's not worth it. I am usually quite decisive, but with this child it is so difficult.
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suzastampin
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,587
Jun 28, 2014 14:32:59 GMT
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Post by suzastampin on Sept 8, 2014 23:07:30 GMT
I have a friend who did this mission a couple of years ago. She had been wanting to do it for years, and finally the timing came together. She said it was a once in a lifetime trip. She helped feed those in nursing homes, taught some English, saw very young children doing the most gorgeous hand beaded purses ( she brought one home to me). She did so much more that I don't remember. She wants to go back again as she feels a calling to go back. She's in her 50s, and started nursing school and would like to go back after she graduates.
As for what you should do...if it were my daughter and she saved all the money herself, I would let her go. Obviously, it means a lot to her or she wouldn't have saved her money for it. Other teens her age would be spending that money on things that would soon be forgotten. I understand your feelings regarding the accident, and if it were my daughter, she would be earning money to pay the deductible and any raise in insurance costs because of the accident.
As for the money for college, there's nothing that says she can't work while going to school to help,pay for it. I don't know if schools still do it, but when I was in college, I was an assistant to one of the English teachers and the hours worked earn me enough to pay for my books. I also waited on table at a restaurant and at the college when it was parents weekend, alumni weekend, and any of the other special events.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Sept 8, 2014 23:16:26 GMT
There are mission trips and there are mission trips. There are mission minded people, and not so mission minded people. There are stories of life changing trips and stories of how no lives are changed for the positive. I'm a bit passionate about this topic, but don't think every single missions trip is negative/harmful. You just really have to do your research and understand both sides of the issue - which it sounds like you have. We (my family) have real relationships with missions in Guatemala and in Mexico. Missions with sustainable history and deep connections living in and working within the community. Those are the missions we invest in and travel to. This could become a reality for your daughter as well. You do have to start somewhere.
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Post by Prenticekid on Sept 8, 2014 23:42:39 GMT
If you want "clarity" on the subject at large, read the book Toxic Charity by Robert D. Lupton. A true mission would help people help themselves. People can and should be building their own security systems and digging their own wells. Of course, Lupton can explain it much better than I ever could. The book is certainly worth a read beyond your current issue.
From the perspective of someone who, in the past, has done missions as a teen, has had children do them and has chaperoned, most teen mission trips are glorified field trips. While they may profoundly effect some teens, that sort of return is so small and so short lived, that it wouldn't even be a consideration here. Frankly, a lot of the "pat on the backs" we like to give ourselves for our good intentions negates any true growth or understanding.
But that isn't the correct question, in my opinion. The only consideration for me would be that my child slammed into another car. The only way to make sure she doesn't feel "entitled," is to make her take full responsibility even if it means missing a trip. In fact, missing the trip might be the best way to drive home the lesson. Had the accident been any worse, she wouldn't be going on that trip for other reasons! That's the lesson that needs to be taught above all else. As to worries about entitlement, I don't know if you realize this, but you never mentioned the other car or its occupants in your OP. Your only concerns mentioned regarding the accident was the inconvenience being down a vehicle is causing your family.
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Post by Really Red on Sept 8, 2014 23:55:24 GMT
So sorry. She actually hit her friend. I really thought I said that. I must have removed it. It was a fender bender, and her sweet sweet friend (who was adorable and kind about it and her parents even kinder), had only a small bump in her car. Our car hit her tire on the back of her car and crushed the radiator which was too expensive for our older car.
And I have been in touch with the other family daily. They have only been wonderful and kind about everything. Sorry I led you to the wrong conclusion. I was on the phone to their parents within two minutes of my DD calling me.
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Post by jamielynn on Sept 9, 2014 0:06:24 GMT
The armed guard part stopped me in my tracks. I would not send a young woman into any situation she needed that.
Send her into the community to work with those less fortunate in a safe environment.
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julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
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Post by julieb on Sept 9, 2014 0:24:14 GMT
That would be a no from me. There is no way I would put my child in danger. I would say that she should find something to do to help citizens of the USA, but my nephew had a bad experience in Kentucky when he went on a mission trip with our church. (Kids working on house - owner in back yard grilling steaks and listening to music on his expensive stereo.)
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