50ish yr old women..come on in..

Yeah. I just answered a phone survey about police officers - they asked if i ever felt threatened by or afraid of police officers. I wanted to burst into laughter and say, I'm a harmless, middle-aged woman. Nobody is afraid of me, and I certainly have nothing to fear from LEOs.

Maybe get a few new outfits or a new hairstyle to freshen things up?

I'm 51 and I think it's worth it to bother. I take care of myself because I want to be old someday and I want to be an active old person. I think I look and feel younger than a lot of people who are younger than me. I buy nice make up - good sale on Tarte make up that ends today if anyone is interested. Go to their website and put together a kit for $63. I make sure my hair looks decent. My husband and I do things together that we both enjoy - we follow high school and college sports and love going to the games. We socialize with others who also do those things. During the summer we spend even more time together. We have a different set of things we do then. I have a great marriage and am thankful for that. I read books, walk my dogs, run, bike, crochet, cook, bake, watch a few tv shows. I still have one kid living at home and we are part of her activities. My life is not perfect. I deal with an aging parent who is difficult and I worry about him a great deal. I'm in a bit of a rut at work. I'd love to quit my job, but that's not realistic. I decided to take a couple of classes and change up how I'm doing some things at work with the hope that it will get me through six more years. I had a bad spell shortly after my mom died and I kind of felt like I wanted to throw in the towel, but instead I decided to try. I had to fake it for a while, but I do think the phrase "fake it until you make it" worked for me.

I'm 34 so not in your age range so you can tell me to shut up and I won't take offense lol but I just want to say I have felt like you are describing (the not sexy, put together part) and I hate spending money on myself but I will suggest buying a few new outfits because I notice that when I wear something new I do feel better about myself just a bit. 

Comgrats on coming up on 30yrs..by this days standards it's a very rare thing to hear a couple celebrate that many years. 😊

I'm 62, been married for 41 years. I don't know where the years have gone. Thankfully, I have been blessed with relatively good health and have good genes. But I know I'm old. Sometimes it's hard. I look in the mirror and wonder who I am anymore. And it's not going to get any better. I am relatively active and spend lots of time with my 8 grandchildren. I've always been pretty simple when it comes to what I wear. I dress up a bit to go to church,(also the only day I put on makeup) but otherwise, it's usually a tee and capris or shorts and always a pair of sandals. I live in Arizona so the dress is really casual here. I try to focus on all that I have been blessed with and keep my mind off of the aging. I do my part to try to remain healthy. And I do splurge on good skincare. I have worn my hair in a short pixie for years, but I have been growing it out for the last year. My goal is a shoulder skimming bob. My hair hasn't been this long in 30 years. It's been a fun journey. Life isn't perfect, I've been through alot of struggles, but I also have a strong faith in God to see me through whatever my future holds.

I have a first class ticket on that train!

I think we are going through our second round of tween years. My husband is just starting a job and the average age of the employee is 24. He is 55. Boy do we joke about it. The guy that is closest in age to him is 30. It is a fitness job, so that makes it even harder. (He has more experience than all of the people in his job description combined, so I can see why they hired him.)

Here's what I suggest. When you want to make big changes, you do things in small increments. Maybe start a nighttime beauty regime for a few weeks and then pick something else to add to the change you want to make. Maybe that includes shopping once a month for something new just for you. Perhaps after a month or two you bring something new into the bedroom (your choice). Don't make a bunch of changes all at once. Do it slowly.

I’m 51, married forever to the same DH, one young kid at home, self employed. I’ve never really cared about clothes or makeup or hair, so that’s nothing new. DH is no spring chicken either but I still love him.   

I think what keeps me engaged is having stuff to do that I’m interested in, especially if I’m also learning something new. For the last several weeks I’ve been working on a side job doing some custom sewing for one of DH’s longtime customers. It’s not a typical project, it requires a lot of thinking, some experimentation with trial and error, it’s challenging and kind of fun. I’ve also been teaching myself how to make custom 3D printed cookie cutters with Tinkercad which is an even bigger challenge. Since the beginning of the year I’ve been taking my DD to a local roller rink to go skating on the nights when DH goes to his league sports. It’s been great to have something fun and active to do with my kid and listen to good music that gets us motivated at the same time. We both really look forward to our skating nights. By each having our own outside interests that we actively pursue, I think it makes DH and I more interesting people to each other. We always have something to talk about.

I'm clearing out my email and I happened to come across this TED talk.  Cameron Russell, a model for 10 years, shares some things that may speak to the thoughts of not feeling sexy or put together. (she also speaks of unfair privileges that come with being a pretty, slender white  woman.)

TED talk - Looks aren't everything, trust me I'm a model


I have my days.  I'm tired and overwhelmed. I feel like a hot mess a lot of the time. I wonder about my future. But big picture, I'm pretty happy with who I am and where life is taking me. I want to be and do and grow. I have things to anticipate. I connect with people. I laugh.

One thing I do is meet with a life coach (phone sessions). We talk about my struggles, concerns, and goals. She asks me good questions that help me figure out my own answers, and provides action steps to keep me taking steps forward.

This may not be for everyone. For me, this replaced the counselor I was seeing after dh died.  With the counselor I felt like I was going in circles, not getting anywhere. My life coach happens to be my BFF. We decided to invest in each other, and it's been very profitable for me.  I shared before that now I'm employed by her, and there is lots to look forward to. My potential is growing and my abilities are growing. 

My mom won a free session and she was skeptical. She received so much value she's a regular client and now is excited about growing as a person at age 74. 

I don't even want that t-shirt.  For me, primitive is a Holiday Inn Express.  . I live in a really "campy" state though and know I don't belong here!

I, for one, love being 50! I loved my 40's so I hope my 50's are just as enjoyable. My 20's and 30's were not fun because I was much heavier and I had horrible heavy periods and fibroids. Life was chaotic while my mom went through a long and devastating illness. After my mom died, life got put in perspective. I finally had a hysterectomy and that burden was gone.  Some weight came off, I started taking better care of myself and I let go of other old baggage.  

As far as being middle aged, I like the funny benefits it can bring. I can ask for help from younger people and they help me as they would their parents. lol.  As much of a type A control freak I can be most of the time, I have also mellowed out. I can really appreciate the simple things in life. We are also financially stable and are looking forward to retirement. We are celebrating 28 years next year and it's still good. I'm grateful for that. 

So, to answer your question, maybe you are just going through as phase. You may feel like you're in a rut right now, but your fabulous 50's may just be around the corner. Something will serve as an impetus for it. I'm sure of it. 

I am in my early 50's. Single.

So far, I am enjoying my 50's. I have an "I don't care what anyone else thinks" attitude. I do (or don't do) what makes me happy. It took me a very long time to get to this place. I find, that if I think I look cute, then I feel good about myself. If I think I look blah, then I feel blah. Good days, bad days and everything in between.....It's the ebb and flow of life. 

If I am going out, to work or socially, I try to look cute and put together. It just makes me feel better. My "I don't care, what others think" attitude, makes my life better. I spent years, decades, etc.. worrying about what others think, trying to fit in to the "normal mode" and I was miserable. Now, I just live my life, my way. It someone wants to judge because of what I wear or how I look or how I live my life....whatever! I am happy with myself.

I love makeup, and wear it whenever I leave home, because it makes me happy. I wear clothes that I like, not what is the current trend. I make time for myself....quiet time, nap time, creative time, reading time, because these are things, that are necessary for my well being and psyche. 
Currently, I am not interested in dating or being in a committed relationship.

No matter what one's age is.....taking care of one's own self and well being take effort, being in a relationship or marriage takes effort. Making a small effort, can be a big thing, and go a long way.

Do things for yourself. 
Date your spouse/significant other(sounds silly)but it may help you re-connect. A picnic, date night, walk in the neighborhood, etc...