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Post by vicloo on Jun 30, 2014 19:22:45 GMT
Yesterday my husband informed me that when he takes early retirement this October at age 62, he plans to cancel all life insurance payments. This would be on a policy that we have paid on for the past 25 years. He said he got to thinking that he wouldn't benefit from it and thought he could use the money now. Also he would cancel my policy and two smaller policies we took out on grandchildren when they were babies. I was dumbfounded. I told him he could not do this as it just didn't make sense. But then neither does taking early retirement. He does hate his job. He works part time for the DOD after retiring from the Air Force. So he has his retirement pay as well as VA disability pay, and would receive Social Security. So he doesn't need the amount we are paying for insurance each month. I just keep thinking, does he really think so little of his family that he would do this, or even consider it.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by tracylynn on Jun 30, 2014 19:28:47 GMT
My parents have small policies, but not large ones (would cover final expenses, etc). He doesn't believe in life insurance. *shrug*
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 13:12:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 19:30:44 GMT
Do you still have a mortgage? Do you have other debt? If so, then I'd keep enough insurance to pay those off. If he passes away, you'll continue to receive his retirement pay and SS, right? Do you earn income that will need to be replaced if you were to pass away first? Unless one of you would lose a significant portion of income when the other passes, there may not be any need for life insurance by this point in your lives.
I am not sure why you have policies on the grandchildren and don't see any downside to letting those lapse. If, god forbid, they pass away, what income are they earning that needs to be replaced?
Usually life insurance is no longer necessary in retirement - I don't think letting it lapse is a sign of not caring about his family. If he hates his job and wants to retire, it makes sense to minimize unnecessary expenses. Depending on your circumstances, life insurance may not be needed for you two anymore.
All that said, these are decisions that should be made jointly. You should both discuss what's best and come to an agreement before anything happens.
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PrettyInPeank
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Jun 30, 2014 19:34:46 GMT
Do you have enough in savings and retirement to be able to "self insure" at this point?
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 13:12:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 19:37:05 GMT
Actually there is a point at which life insurance should be cut back and then a point at which it is generally no longer needed. Do you receive any of his retirement or VA pay after he dies? I know you should receive some of his SS (my understanding is that you receive the higher of his payment or yours). Do you work or expect to keep working after he retires?
So I don't disagree with him that you could be over-insured. Especially if your home is paid for, etc. If it is term life insurance the premium is probably increasing also. If it is whole life, it should have some value.
You probably need to sit down and look at what expenses the family would have after he retires and if he died. He probably isn't thinking past that and may need to see it in black and white.
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Post by 1lear on Jun 30, 2014 19:38:20 GMT
Is he willing to discuss options with you? Maybe you two can do a pros/con list regarding the insurance then reach a joint decision.
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Post by ctpea on Jun 30, 2014 19:39:13 GMT
You may have to do the math out for him to fully understand. Doesn't sound like he realizes the extent of things he needs to consider.
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 13:12:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 19:42:21 GMT
You may have to do the math out for him to fully understand. Doesn't sound like he realizes the extent of things he needs to consider. Or, the reverse is equally likely to be true. |
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Post by ctpea on Jun 30, 2014 19:51:01 GMT
True, true busypea. I always need to see thing concretely.
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Post by Really Red on Jun 30, 2014 19:51:47 GMT
I work for an insurance agency. Please call your agent and ask about the pros and cons of this decision. It is not as bad as it may seem, but there may be some other choices he can make. It's always good to have the good, bad and ugly about these kind of decisions. Good luck.
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Post by 3SugarBugs on Jun 30, 2014 19:54:52 GMT
I agree with several of the others...there usually comes a point when it's really no longer necessary. My DH and I have no whole life policies (and won't), only term through our places of employment. Because of investments and other retirement savings, whole life won't be necessary, and our children will still get a nice little amount each.
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Post by vicloo on Jun 30, 2014 19:58:08 GMT
You may have to do the math out for him to fully understand. Doesn't sound like he realizes the extent of things he needs to consider. Or, the reverse is equally likely to be true. I do not think the reverse is equally true. Granted I may not be insurance savvy and I should do more investigating into the matter. I was more upset over the fact that he made the statement that the money would not benefit him. Just seemed so very selfish to me. This is the same guy that told me if we split up, he would get to keep the house since it has a VA backed mortgage. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 20:00:38 GMT
Or, the reverse is equally likely to be true. I do not think the reverse is equally true. Granted I may not be insurance savvy and I should do more investigating into the matter. I was more upset over the fact that he made the statement that the money would not benefit him. Just seemed so very selfish to me. This is the same guy that told me if we split up, he would get to keep the house since it has a VA backed mortgage. I am not saying it *is* true - I'm saying, based on what you shared with us, we have no way to know who understands what. Your subsequent post shows that there is clearly a lot more going on here than indicated in your first post. |
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 13:12:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 20:02:33 GMT
Honestly, it sounds like this is about more than just life insurance. Have you considered seeing a marriage counselor? Is it possible that he is having a "late life crisis"?
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Post by Kelpea on Jun 30, 2014 20:02:58 GMT
I'm not one of those who would normally leap to (likely incorrect) conclusion, but based upon your second statement I wonder if it's not time to do a little snooping around to see what might be going on with your husband.
Just a thought, and I hate it, but it popped into my head.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 30, 2014 20:04:45 GMT
Is he willing to discuss options with you? Maybe you two can do a pros/con list regarding the insurance then reach a joint decision.
I agree with this. That is the kind of decision that both people need to be on board with. |
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scrappinmama
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Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jun 30, 2014 20:05:07 GMT
Everyone should have some type of life insurance. There are expenses to be paid when a family member dies. How will a funeral be paid for? Is there a mortgage, car loan, credit card, etc? The money is not for him to enjoy. It is for the survivor to pay off what is owed, and to help out with other expenses. I hope your husband listens to reason.
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Post by lovetodigi on Jun 30, 2014 20:05:57 GMT
Or, the reverse is equally likely to be true. I do not think the reverse is equally true. Granted I may not be insurance savvy and I should do more investigating into the matter. I was more upset over the fact that he made the statement that the money would not benefit him. Just seemed so very selfish to me. This is the same guy that told me if we split up, he would get to keep the house since it has a VA backed mortgage. I am sorry. I can understand why you are upset. If he cancels the insurance, maybe you can take one out on him and not let him know. That way if something happens to him, you will be financially able to handle things and if something happens to you, well, he will soon realize his mistake. He does sound like he is being very selfish. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 20:08:29 GMT
Everyone should have some type of life insurance. This is just not necessarily true, especially in retirement. If there is no/minimal debt, significant savings, and an appropriate level of income, there may be no need for life insurance. Everyone's circumstances vary and while many people should indeed have life insurance, by no means does "everyone" need it. |
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 30, 2014 20:10:51 GMT
I am guessing you would not receive his retirement benefits, should he die. Ask him what you would live on in that case? His life insurance is to benefit his family, not him!
I love the idea of sitting down with an agent or your financial advisor.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jun 30, 2014 20:14:38 GMT
I think decisions like this should be made jointly in a marriage. Along the lines of the it takes "two yesses and one no." Either you both agree to cancel or --- if one does not agree -- there's a whole lot more conversation that goes on first to get you both on the same page before any action is taken.
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Post by maryland on Jun 30, 2014 20:15:43 GMT
What's the purpose of having life insurance on grandchildren? I just don't know much about insurance, so that's why I am asking. I wouldn't have thought anyone but the parents could get insurance on their children. I don't understand how that works.
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Post by ntsf on Jun 30, 2014 20:17:16 GMT
we dropped our term insurance that we had for 25yrs....we have a policy through dh's work, retirement money and a small mortgage. it just didn't make sense to keep paying. dh is 64 and still working.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
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Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jun 30, 2014 20:19:48 GMT
You're getting some great advice. Perhaps your husband feels like he doesn't have the quality of life that he wants now because of his work; and, that he feels the present should take precedent over the future. Could he be suffering from some depression?
I hope that the two of you can have a conversation and come to a resolution that feels right for both of you.
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Post by 3SugarBugs on Jun 30, 2014 20:52:38 GMT
Or, the reverse is equally likely to be true. I do not think the reverse is equally true. Granted I may not be insurance savvy and I should do more investigating into the matter. I was more upset over the fact that he made the statement that the money would not benefit him. Just seemed so very selfish to me. This is the same guy that told me if we split up, he would get to keep the house since it has a VA backed mortgage. Vicloo - Just wanted to say hang in there...if you've been married for 34 years, you've weathered many a storm I'm sure!  Sometimes my DH comes across as selfish too...and usually because he just wasn't thinking! Sit down and have a conversation about your concerns with him and see if that helps you to understand. |
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Post by librarylady on Jun 30, 2014 21:00:19 GMT
Every situation is different, but we have cancelled our life insurance policies. IMO, the purpose of the policy is to replace the now missing income that is needed to handle the necessities of life for the survivors. Our home and cars are paid for. We have no children at home. I have retirement income, he has retirement income. Either one of us could survive on what our retirement income is, as well as the savings we have...So, why would we need another payment (that is savings, actually).
If your situation is dependent on his income, then the two of you need to sit down and talk.
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Post by fruitysuet on Jun 30, 2014 21:02:16 GMT
Probably how my DH would look at things and also make the decision without me - selfish (but I no longer really expect any different). I know that it should be joint decision and I would be (and have been) hurt myself when my DH has made major financial decisions without any prior discussion.
I feel for you - at least you DH has given you a head's up of what he is thinking to give you chance to get your opinions across - and I hope he realises that it shouldn't be a decision taken without professional advice.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
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Post by georgiapea on Jun 30, 2014 21:02:52 GMT
If your DH were to die suddenly would all his retirement monies come to you? Would you be able to continue your lifestyle without drastic cutbacks?
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Post by Scrapbrat on Jun 30, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
You probably don't need a ton of life insurance if your DH is 62 and you are anywhere near that. Big policies are more for when your kids are young, you have a big mortgage, and one spouse couldn't go it alone if something happened to the other. If your mortgage is paid off, small policies are more in order.
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 13:12:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 21:41:09 GMT
I also don't understand why anyone would have a life insurance policy on their grandchildren. Is that another way of saving money and giving it to them when that get older?
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Sometimes my DH comes across as selfish too...and usually because he just wasn't thinking! Sit down and have a conversation about your concerns with him and see if that helps you to understand. 
