Need to vent so I don't overwhelm dh

Today is Thursday isn’t it? I’m pretty sure it is physically impossible to get all that done by Sunday morning. You haven’t even made all of your own kid’s pajamas or started on the dresses?   I don’t know anything about sewing though.

Wow.

Whoa.

Do YOU enjoy any of this?

I am obviously a generation older than you and lemme tell you, if I could go back in time, I would have learned to say "NO, Hell to the NO'" to the shitshow you are describing (and I have lived) much earlier.

I eventually did say"NO" .

The world did not stop spinning.

Their god did not strike me dead.

Some people finally understood they were mooching/entitled/expecting too much and backed off. Found other people to mooch off or figured out how to do a holiday on their own. Shockingly, it is possible.

Some people got angry and got over it. Or they'll die mad. Their choice. Not my problem. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I had a happier life once I stopped sacrificing my time and happiness on their altars of importance.

Just my 2 cents.

Hope you do have a great holiday.

I'm exhausted just reading your post.

I won't put up with half of what you describing.

So... why are you going on vacation with all of these people?
You need to learn the word "nope!" and stop making more work for yourself. You're going to die from exhaustion before you can even leave for your trip!

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with all of that. I'm overwhelmed just reading it.

I'm going to say this with my full intent being a caring friend. I've been the Martha Stewart and done it all and had it turn out to be picture perfect. But it came at a cost. My personal wellbeing, my mood, my poor kids... sometimes you just have to say that good enough is enough. If you have the money, now is the time to throw it at this problem. Pay for expedited shipping and buy those pjs from Kohl's or anywhere else. Obviously this is not something that your family members value, or they would have gotten the measurements to you months ago. Then save the pjs for next year. Measure the kids when you see them at Christmas or just do your best to guess sizes come June or so. It will be ok--they are pjs. Make pants and get solid tees and be done with it.

I'm pretty sure I remember your post about the photos your FIL didn't like. It's ok. Save the new dress for your DD for Valentine's Day or something AFTER Christmas. You know she has other lovely things in her closet that will look just as good. I PROMISE you that in 10 years, you are going to be looking at her sweet face, not her dress. Sure you would notice the dress because you made it. But it's really that face that you will marvel at, not the dress that you were up until 4 am sewing on.

Tonight, order pizza and get all the pillows in the house and make a big pile in front of the TV and watch a quick Christmas show or read some books. Then tuck them into bed and you do the same. A mama that feels better and gives all the snuggles will carry much better memories than the mama who was overwhelmed and crabby and sick. There will be other years for the pjs and dresses. Just not this year. And you need to give yourself permission that that is ok.

1. Forget about the matching pajamas. No big deal just update everyone that things go too busy. Seems like no one was really into it anyway and even if they were, oh well. I can't remember which one but I was just looking at a catalog that  had matching PJs for EVERYONE, from baby to adult..but I cant' remember which one it was. But seriously, forget about this...

2. I would not spend my vacation shopping and cooking. At least 1 meal a day (or whenever you want, just go out to a place with the kids (or leave them behind with family)). Also drink lots of wine if you can. Hire a babysitter - hopefully the resort has some sitter/child care options?

3. Regarding clothes that are cute for yourself that fit -- shop in Mexico. Buy a few things there, cover ups etc that  you like. Same with the kids.

THIS, for sure!!!  Sometimes things just don't work out the way we plan... and you have waaaay too much on your overworked shoulders!  

You can vent to us whenever and however you want, but I'm honestly not sure why you want to save your dh from being overwhelmed . . . it sounds to me like he really needs to step up and start to fix the giant shit show that is your life right now. Those kids are his, too, right? The extended family is also his? What's he doing to pitch in?! My dh travels a lot for work, but that sure as hell doesn't translate into him getting a free pass when he gets home--nor does it save him from having to run interference with his family when they are wanting us to do something that will drive me batty. Travelling for work translates to someone cooking for him, him getting a full night's sleep every night, not to mention getting to watch whatever he wants on TV at the end of the work day . . . to a stay at home mom with a bunch of kids, that's a vacation right there! My dh knows that when he gets home from a work trip, I'm off duty for at least 12 hours from the time he walks in the door. (And our group vacations got a lot happier when we stopped trying to do *everything* as a group. Tell people what your plans for the day/dinner/excursions are, ask them if they want to join in, and then assign roles if they do. If no one wants to do what you want to do, bonus for you as you get to do it alone!)

it is good that you are venting

beaglemom Did your other house sell yet??

Assign everyone days to cook, if it is your day you are responsible for all the meals, dishes and clean up that day.  This was my solution to feeling like when I was with my in-laws all I did was cook, and clean.
jen

I'll be interested to hear how all of this turns out. I still don't understand why you are doing EVERYTHING. It still seems everyone is telling you to do everything..

OH darn!~