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Post by librarylady on Jan 10, 2019 14:47:09 GMT
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Post by cynipidae17 on Jan 10, 2019 15:13:41 GMT
A sad, beautiful story
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,657
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Jan 10, 2019 15:24:07 GMT
Thank you for sharing. Good story to read. I had a second cousin that passed away during that time. Everyone was tight lipped on why. My sister overheard my parents talking that it was AIDS, he was gay and I had no idea. I was too young at the time to notice any of this or know what that meant. From what I can remember, his family was there for him so that makes me happy. My mom absolutely loved him.
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Post by coloradocropper on Jan 10, 2019 15:41:49 GMT
Wow. What an incredible human being.
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Post by withapea on Jan 10, 2019 15:49:52 GMT
That was so hard to read and really, really beautiful as well. Thanks for sharing.
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Post by mellowyellow on Jan 10, 2019 15:54:06 GMT
Wow...what a beautiful but sad story. Thanks so much for sharing!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 5:58:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2019 15:56:19 GMT
That was beautiful, thank you!!
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Post by jenr on Jan 10, 2019 15:59:24 GMT
Oh my. What a beautiful, sad story. She is truly an angel.
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Post by thundergal on Jan 10, 2019 16:01:14 GMT
I'm so glad you shared this and that I took the time to read it. Thank you. These are the kinds of stories that remind me that I am really more agnostic than atheist. Because when she wondered if her God ordained her to do that work, I found myself saying quietly, "Of course he did". Some power...SOME power larger than what I can comprehend...gave her the ability to do what she did. Truly happy to have learned about Ruth...thanks again, librarylady
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Post by 16joy on Jan 10, 2019 16:16:58 GMT
I just can't imagine ignoring/writing off/shunning my child in this situation. Bless that woman and all the other people who stepped in when families abandoned their own.
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
Jun 28, 2014 0:26:58 GMT
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Post by schizo319 on Jan 10, 2019 16:38:06 GMT
That was beautiful (and now I'm a hot mess of tears). Thanks for sharing it.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,703
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Jan 10, 2019 16:56:15 GMT
So poignant. Thank you for sharing.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jan 10, 2019 17:43:47 GMT
I was a young waitress in Houston, Texas in 1982 when AIDS was still "new" in the US. We had yet to hit the first anniversary of the report published in MMWR of the 5 previously healthy young men in LA with acquired immunodeficiency syndrome - the very first reported cases in the US. Most of the servers in my restaurant were men, and most of those men were gay. Gay men were in the "Four-H Club" of people who were considered most likely to have the disease. Four-H Club stood for hemophiliacs, homosexual men, heroin users, and Haitians/people of Haitian origin. It was the first time I was around people who were openly homosexual. To say the gay men were very scared of catching "The Gay Plague" is an understatement. The gay women at the restaurant were not afraid. No one even knew what it was. How it spread was barely understood. There was no cure for GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency), as it was called. It was the first time I ever saw two people of the same sex give rings to each other to signify any kind of unity. There was no such thing as same sex marriage. Hell, no one I knew then ever thought there would ever be same sex marriage! It was the first time I witnessed an argument between a couple because he wanted to keep prostituting himself and his boyfriend wanted him to stop. It was also the first time I ever saw a man in drag tripping on LSD wait on a table of cops. It was a time of a lot of firsts. In 1984, the links between HIV and AIDS were discovered and hotly debated. It became possible to test for HIV (Human Immunodefiency Virus). The early stages of AIDS were then named ARC (AIDS-related complex) and were separated from full-blown AIDS. The term ARC was widely discontinued by 2000 in the US as lab criteria continued to improve. By this time, it was understood that females could get HIV through sex. Of the 3,064 diagnosed AIDS cases in the US, 1292 had died.But it wasn't until 1985 that a movie on NBC, An Early Frost, became the first program on TV to address the AIDS epidemic in an attempt to humanize those who were suffering with the "gay cancer." In 1988, on the soap opera All My Children on ABC, a young mother, Cindy, who had contracted AIDS from her IV drug using husband before his death is ostracized by many Pine Valley residents and a hate group burns down the home where she is staying. Cindy & a major, wealthy character (Stuart Chandler) meet, fall in love and marry even as she becomes progressively more ill. Cindy's inevitable death was deeply mourned. Also in 1988, popular Olympic champion Greg Louganis made an uncharacteristic error and hit his head on the edge of the three-meter diving board during the Seoul Summer Olympics. The impact opened a gash that bled into the water, forcing Louganis to reveal that he was gay & HIV positive. It was a stunning revelation on top of the shock of seeing him hit his head on the board. In an instant, rules began being reviewed and new awareness of AIDS spread around the globe. In the early '90s, the TV show Life Goes On had a character named Jesse (Chad Lowe) who was a straight teenager with AIDS. He had been infected by an older girl, and there was a lot of drama when he fell in love with another teenage girl. AIDS was still a death sentence. Sometime in the early(?) '90s, I received a magazine, I believe it was Parade Magazine (but I can't find reference to it) that had an article of several men who were beating the odds and living with AIDS. They were the very first to survive for several years. And the Band Played On, the 1993 HBO movie with a cast that included Matthew Modine, Alan Alda, Richard Gere, Lily Tomlin, Angelic Huston & Swoosie Kurtz "riveted TV audiences" chronicled the pain and injustice that defined those early years of AIDS. Also in 1993, Tom Hanks won an Academy Award when he starred in the movie Philadelphia for his amazing portrayal of a homosexual man dying of AIDS and the humanity that was stripped from him as the disease progressed. Acting as his own attorney, Hanks' character (Beckett) begins to research how to prosecute the discrimination he faces from the employers who fired him for having AIDS. Beckett dies with his life partner at his side. It was this movie that opened my eyes to the lack of rights a life partner had in the final days of an AIDS patient's life; how the partner who loved & cared for the ill patient could be turned away at the hospital by the family that had ousted & shunned the dying person during their life. This is what made me want legal recognition of some form of same sex marriage with all the rights thereof, even though I didn't want it to be called "marriage" until much later. By 1995, complications from AIDS was the leading cause of death for adults 25-44 years old. About 50,000 Americans died of AIDS-related causes. African Americans made up 49% of AIDS-related deaths. This was the peak of AIDS as the leading cause of death. In 1997, Ellen DeGeneres made TV history on the Ellen show by coming out as a lesbian and then kissing another woman on TV, and new HAART treatments caused a 47% decline in the death rate. In 2003, the FDA approved a test that can identify AIDS in 20 minutes. In 2009, photos of Adam Lambert in drag began circulating on social media. Adam was a favorite contestant on American Idol at the time. The photos came as a shock at first, and then ... no one seemed to care. In 2017, studies showed "that a person living with HIV who is on regular antiretroviral therapy that reduces the virus to undetectable levels in the blood is NOT able to transmit HIV to a partner during sex. The current consensus among medical professionals is that 'undetectable = untransmittable.' " To a number of the people who will read this thread, many of the things I have listed happened before they were born. That's a little hard for me to get my head around, but there it is. Just because I know these things does not mean that those who are younger do as well. As the article from the OP shows, maybe it's time we do begin to tell our stories.
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Post by vi on Jan 10, 2019 19:52:41 GMT
I have deep admiration for this lady. This is one of the most loving things I've ever heard anyone do. Also, thank you, leftturnonly for the synopsis of the aides disease. I'm so glad that it's treated better today.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on Jan 12, 2019 7:49:22 GMT
Thank you so much for sharing. This is the kind of people Jesus wants His followers to be. “Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’” Matthew 25:34-40 I just saw a commercial for BeyondIdo.org about discrimination against LGBTQ and that it’s still legal in 31 states. I think people forget that there was also Old Testament verses used as an excuse for discrimination against minorities. As leftturnonly said, people were being denied next of kin rights because they were gay. That’s not right. Being denied medical care because the doctor doesn’t agree with your lifestyle isn’t right. Discrimination based on on lifestyle and religion is also dangerous because it’s close to Muslim sharia law. Remember the Pharisees and Sadducees who judged people during Jesus’ life and tried to control people an ultimately had Him killed? Conversion camps that torture children aren’t Christian. The US was purposely founded because of religious persecution by the Catholic Church and Catholic controlled monarchs like Queen Mary “Bloody Mary” Tudor and Puritan Oliver Cromwell who had Charles I, son of King James, famous for the KJV version of the Bible, beheaded and persecuted Catholics. People fled to the US to escape governments who allowed discrimination. We we need more people like this woman who did the right thing regardless of what everyone else did and personal cost.
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Post by KelleeM on Jan 12, 2019 10:30:51 GMT
Thanks so much for sharing that story. It’s so sad while being just beautiful. Merge thanks for your wonderful post.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,594
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
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Post by hannahruth on Jan 12, 2019 14:10:06 GMT
What an amazing story. What an amazing lady!
While the AIDS epidemic was fast and furious there were obviously people who were able to see past the hype and accept that those stricken were people who needed care and comfort and in this case were able to give it.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,763
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jan 12, 2019 14:37:50 GMT
Wow! What an amazing woman.
I remember this all from a child’s perspective. Long before my mother walked away from us, we lived with her off and on.
I remember her baby brother. The artist, the SF resident, the HIV positive uncle.
It started with mysterious packages being sent to our home. My mom would split them up and repackage them before sending them to my uncle. I remember being told to never tell anyone about what she was doing.
I remember him living with us for a time. Spray bottles of bleach in every room just in case.
I remember him getting sick and not being allowed to go in his room so I would talk to him through the door. I would draw him pictures and slip them under the door.
Then he was gone. Moved back to SF.
When I was teen, mom long gone by now, I was told by my mothers distant cousin that he had died.
I know no details. I don’t know where he was buried, if he was alone, or if any of my mother’s very dysfunctional family were there.
And now I think I will do some internet sleuthing. Thank you for posting today.
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Post by candleangie on Jan 12, 2019 17:50:22 GMT
Thank you for sharing this.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jan 12, 2019 19:46:38 GMT
Wow! What an amazing woman. I remember this all from a child’s perspective. Long before my mother walked away from us, we lived with her off and on. I remember her baby brother. The artist, the SF resident, the HIV positive uncle. It started with mysterious packages being sent to our home. My mom would split them up and repackage them before sending them to my uncle. I remember being told to never tell anyone about what she was doing. I remember him living with us for a time. Spray bottles of bleach in every room just in case. I remember him getting sick and not being allowed to go in his room so I would talk to him through the door. I would draw him pictures and slip them under the door. Then he was gone. Moved back to SF. When I was teen, mom long gone by now, I was told by my mothers distant cousin that he had died. I know no details. I don’t know where he was buried, if he was alone, or if any of my mother’s very dysfunctional family were there. And now I think I will do some internet sleuthing. Thank you for posting today. Thank you for adding your story. If you want some help sleuthing, let me know.
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Post by papersilly on Jan 12, 2019 19:55:50 GMT
i loved this article! i especially loved the part where she said she would post the obituary and cause of death in the hometown paper if the mom hung up on her again. good for her and all the love and compassion she showed to everyone she helped.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 5:58:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2019 20:16:17 GMT
Thank you. Interesting post. I learned a lot.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 12, 2019 22:24:59 GMT
Like leftturnonly , I remember the epidemic as it unfolded. And the heartbreak of men dying alone because they had been disowned by their family or, just as bad, taken home by their family who refused to allow a beloved partner see them or help care for them. I remember Ryan White story and the panic when several people with no known risk factors were diagnosed with the virus. Turns out they had all been treated by the same dentist who was alleged to have complained about not enough resources going to AIDS research because it was seen as a gay plague. Local to me, a Vancouver physician chronicled his experience living with HIV/AIDS in a weekly series on the news, Dr. Peter Diaries. This series was real and heartbreaking, but did so much to humanize the epidemic. Another good movie about the early days is Dallas Buyers Club. Thanks for sharing this article librarylady .
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Post by birukitty on Jan 13, 2019 5:53:27 GMT
What an incredible woman who showed that love and compassion can move mountains. What an incredible story and article. Thanks so much librarylady once again for posting an amazing article for us to read and learn from.
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Post by idahopea on Jan 13, 2019 14:03:16 GMT
Thank you for posting this article. It is inspiring to read. I was a young adult at the same time she was caring for so many people and I cannot imagine taking that on myself at that point in my life. I really admire all she did and am happy to see her getting some recognition for all the sacrifices she made for all those years. She deserves some kind of a humanitarian award!
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Post by SockMonkey on Jan 13, 2019 15:56:33 GMT
If this history/topic speaks to you, read "The Great Believers" by Rebecca Makkai. Fiction, set in the late 80s and 2015. One of the best books I read in a while.
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Post by leftturnonly on Jan 13, 2019 18:22:13 GMT
If this history/topic speaks to you, read "The Great Believers" by Rebecca Makkai. Fiction, set in the late 80s and 2015. One of the best books I read in a while. Just put it on a "Want to read" list, thanks!
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