Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
|
Post by Mystie on Jan 12, 2019 17:59:51 GMT
I feel like I spend way too much time waiting for other people to show up for whatever we have planned to do. Right now I'm waiting for an older friend who I invited over for lunch and a movie. I told her to come over around 11:30 or 12. She called me a little after 12 and said she was on her way. It's 1:00 and she's still not here. I'm hungry and annoyed!
It's not just this person, it seems like my time is wasted a lot and I'm tired of it. Either the other person is late, or they call you a half hour before you're supposed to meet and postpone or cancel. It doesn't happen all the time, but it makes me hot when it does.
Just had to vent, carry on with your day.
|
|
jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
Posts: 5,516
Jun 26, 2014 21:55:15 GMT
|
Post by jayfab on Jan 12, 2019 18:02:43 GMT
YES! I hate when people are late like you are describing. I actually feel disrespected.
|
|
|
Post by MZF on Jan 12, 2019 18:11:54 GMT
Yes. I tend to be early to almost everything, so even if someone is on time, it feels like they are late--that is my issue, not theirs. Unless there is a valid reason for being late, I see tardiness as a sign of disrespect.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Jan 12, 2019 18:13:27 GMT
I'd be gone. That is just rude
|
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,527
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
|
Post by Just T on Jan 12, 2019 18:21:36 GMT
I used to have a friend who was so late to absolutely everything and always had some dramatic, long story when she finally arrived. It drove me crazy. If it was something important that she needed to be on time for, I’d lie and add tell her it was an hour or two ahead of when it actually was. She would arrive at birthday parties when they were almost over, leave me waiting and waiting in restaurants, we would be late for movies and concerts. I’ve never known anyone else like that.
|
|
|
Post by mnmloveli on Jan 12, 2019 18:22:13 GMT
Some people don’t realize your time is just as important as their time. Very selfish. I’d be furious and hurt. At this point I’d call her back and cancel; the movie is over !
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 12, 2019 18:31:07 GMT
Yes. We stopped inviting my brother for dinner due to that very thing. When we say “We’re eating at six” that means when 6:00 rolls around we’re sitting down at the table while the food is hot, not waiting around for a half hour or more until everything is nasty and cold! We even tried the ‘tell him a half hour earlier’ trick and he’s still late, so now we don’t invite him anymore. I have no patience for people who waste a considerable amount of my time. We also learned that lesson with the families of DD’s little friends. Once we had planned to go to an all day event with DD’s friend, mom and little brother. Because they hadn’t planned things very well, the kids had been up late the night before, didn’t get up very early and were slow to get going the next day. We ended up not getting to the event until after noon, and due to heavy traffic coming home we only got to spend about three hours at the event. This was an expensive experience event that we had been looking forward to going to and we ended up missing over half of it because they we so slow in getting there. After that, we decided that for future events we were not going to try to coordinate our timing with anyone else, we would just go on our own (early enough so we could see and do what we wanted to) and meet up with them when they decide to get there.
|
|
|
Post by disneypal on Jan 12, 2019 18:51:51 GMT
Yes, but it is mainly just one person in my life. I swear that she does things to deliberately be late! For instance, I will say let’s meet at 11:00.
She will call at 11:05 to say she’s running late. She’ll arrive at 11:45 and then say something like, “I decided to go return a blouse before we met”
Why? She could have returned the blouse after we departed a couple of hots later (the stores would be open) or the next day or any other time for that matter. I feel she purposely does things like that so she WILL be late. I hate to say it, but I think it makes her feel important or something.
Now, when I want to meet her at 11:00, I tell her 10:00, just so she will be there and I won’t be waiting for her.
|
|
|
Post by artisticscrapper on Jan 12, 2019 19:14:51 GMT
I remember going to a group dinner and there were a couple of chronicaly late people who hadn’t shown up so we went ahead and ordered. As one person said, if they can get to work on time they can come to activities on time. Wise words. Of course they were angry we didn’t wait for them but guess what? The only one who thinks you are special is you.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jan 12, 2019 19:25:27 GMT
One if my bestest friends is like that. He’s ALWAYS late.
You tell him reservations at at 8 and to be at your place by 7:30 to drive there, he’s getting into the shower at 7:45!!!
Dinners are always late—9-10 pm we are eating.
It is a well know joke throughout our friends group.
|
|
JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,825
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
|
Post by JustTricia on Jan 12, 2019 19:30:13 GMT
My sister used to be habitually late. Nobody really said anything to her about it for YEARS. Then we started teasing her about it, or saying “she will be late”, etc. My last straw when I started making passive aggressive comments to her (which I admit wasn’t very mature) was when she moved up a time to leave by an hour, and then proceeded to be THREE HOURS LATE and we were driving three hours to a function on top of it.
Then recently both my mom and I separately had a conversation with her about it. In her mind, work and a public event with a start time (movies, church, concerts, something with a reservation), etc, were something that you couldn’t be late to, but things with friends / family, the start time wasn’t that big of a deal. I asked why she thought it wasn’t rude to make people wait for her when they showed up on time. Why weren’t her friends or her family important enough to her to keep a promised time? A time is a time, and there’s no difference between the two.
She had never thought about it. She honestly did not think it was a big deal to anyone to keep them waiting. I really don’t understand any of her reasoning, but she honestly never thought it was anything, not rude, not a big deal, it was just “her being her”.
Since the time we both talked to her, she has changed dramatically. She did bail on one thing due to running out of time, but that was a sporting event that wasn’t a big deal ~ no ticket had been bought, we were meeting there, the stands weren’t full so we weren’t saving a seat. She has been on time for pretty much everything else.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 19, 2024 3:45:29 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2019 19:38:06 GMT
My daughter’s friend is purposely late to any party/ dinner. He is an up and comer and people put up with his shit because he will be a very important person in the dance world.
The problem is he knows it and I would like to slap that shit out of him.
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on Jan 12, 2019 19:57:31 GMT
yes. but it's only really one of my friends. she is perpetually late and always has some excuse. i think she just has no concept of time. my other friends are great. to them, if they are five minutes early, they are late.
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jan 12, 2019 20:03:19 GMT
Being chronically late is a character flaw in my book. Quite rude and inconsiderate.
We really don't have anyone in our personal lives right now like that -- thank goodness.
I really despise when meetings or public events don't start on time because they're "going to wait for just a few more people to show up." Nope. Start without them. And don't go back and review anything they missed. Ugh.
|
|
caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,432
Location: So Cal
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
|
Post by caangel on Jan 12, 2019 20:51:45 GMT
A woman in my friend group is always late. I never socialize with her individually but we are also part of a larger mom's grouo. The moms group has a FB group to sell or get rid of things; she claims at least 50% of what is posted. She never picks up her stuff when she says she will.
She claimed something of mine (that was free) on Wednesday saying she would pick it up Thursday. It is Saturday and it is still on my porch. I've reached out to her and now she is saying tomorrow. Ugh I just want it gone and out of my sight!
During the week she also let us know that she has been hiding some health problems had had a cancer scare. She is fine now but recovering from a procedure. Now I feel like a bitch cuz I want her to come get her stuff.
I'm still in the middle of purging but if she hasn't picked up by time I'm ready to donate out it is going!
|
|
NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
|
Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jan 12, 2019 20:53:40 GMT
For as laid back as I am I hate when people are always late..I find it so rude.
|
|
|
Post by shamrock on Jan 12, 2019 22:03:05 GMT
One of my best friends is always late. Usually she is about 20 min late. I plan to get places at least 5 min after we say we’ll meet. I’m still first. Often, like another poster said, she’ll say that she decided to do something on the way and that made her late. I hate that she’s a,ways Kate for stuff and she knows that it bugs me. I’m always 5 min early.
|
|
|
Post by Jennifer C on Jan 12, 2019 22:11:52 GMT
My Sister. I love her to death but she is always late.
She doesn't work and doesn't wear a watch. Her kids were always late to school and they hated it so I started picking them up in the morning. Not out of my way but she couldn't understand why they didn't want her to take them.
If I invite her for lunch, I will call her when I've gotten to the restaurant and again when I'm seated. I'll ask for her order and usually she gets there and eats a cold meal. She says sometimes she wishes that I would just wait for her and I tell her nope, I've waited way to long for her in my lifetime.
Jennifer.
|
|
|
Post by rockymtnpea on Jan 12, 2019 22:20:41 GMT
I/we don’t wait. If we say it starts at a particular time we proceed once the time comes.
If we are driving somewhere I announce prior to what time the car will be leaving and once the time comes the car is pulling out of the garage.
I never offer to ride with someone that acts like they have no concept of time and I remind them when they ask to ride with me they will get left if they arrive late. Lol
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Jan 12, 2019 22:21:48 GMT
One if my bestest friends is like that. He’s ALWAYS late. You tell him reservations at at 8 and to be at your place by 7:30 to drive there, he’s getting into the shower at 7:45!!! Dinners are always late—9-10 pm we are eating. It is a well know joke throughout our friends group. I find this so rude and disrespectful. He knows you will wait for him so why be on time? I'd not wait for someone who continues to do this.
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Jan 12, 2019 22:27:55 GMT
As someone who is always on time (ie. 5 minutes early), some of these stories are making me twitchy. I'm not sure I would ever make plans with some of your friends ever again. It is rude and disrespectful to always be late. I agree with Spongemom Scrappants , it is a character flaw. (And yes, I have plenty of my own, but lateness isn't one of them! ) DSO and I always arrive 5 minutes early and several of my friends always arrive 10 minutes late. They all know how much I hate it, and I know that they try their best, but something always seems to happen to prevent them from getting there on time. One time one of my 'always late' friends was having a dinner party at 7pm. She very specifically told me not to arrive any earlier than 7pm. DSO and I pulled up at 6:55pm and sat in the car for 5 minutes, then knocked on her door at precisely 7pm. She answered the door all flustered because she was running late - in her own home! Some of my other friends have told me that it is very stressful to go out with me, because they are always worried that they're going to be late. One friend goes into a panic, and will ring me 5 minutes prior to our meeting time to say she's in the parking lot, or just turning into the street or whatever. I've tried to explain it this way. Lets just say you have to be somewhere at 11:30am. It takes 12 minutes to get there, so you should leave at 11:18. Round the 12 minutes up to 15 minutes. Which means leaving at 11:15. But then you allow an extra 5 minutes in case of traffic problems. So you leave at 11:10. Voilà, you have now arrived at your destination 5-8 minutes early, and no-one is pissed off with you! And finally, I saw a meme once, but can't find it now, that said something along the lines of: Have you noticed that people who are running late are always more jolly than the people waiting for them?
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Jan 12, 2019 22:31:05 GMT
This is a huge pet peeve of mine.
People like that seem to think their time is more valuable than yours.
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Jan 12, 2019 22:31:12 GMT
Drives me bonkers too, I have one relative who is always late, biggest bummer is that it isn’t just her it is her kids. We miss so much time together because she is so late. Birthday parties for cousins she shows up when they are half over, if we are going to the zoo or children’s activity we arrange to go at 11 (even though I aim for opening, 11 is about as early as they can pretend they will be ready to go) it is after 1 before we get there so it is super crowded, kids are hungry, etc, etc. I also find it incredibly disrespectful.
I used to have a friend that was chronically late, but I would just leave at arranged time and not wait, she finally got the message and had gotten much better.
|
|
|
Post by annabella on Jan 12, 2019 23:03:42 GMT
I remember going to a group dinner and there were a couple of chronicaly late people who hadn’t shown up so we went ahead and ordered. As one person said, if they can get to work on time they can come to activities on time. Wise words. Of course they were angry we didn’t wait for them but guess what? The only one who thinks you are special is you. Yes, these same people can get to work on time but not meet friends on time.
|
|
LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
|
Post by LeaP on Jan 12, 2019 23:04:29 GMT
I'm OK waiting 5-10 minutes or for some traffic disaster but chronically late people make me insane. We have friends that seem unable estimate when they will arrive so I always have them meet at my house. My reasoning is that it annoying and least I can be comfortable and productive.
|
|
|
Post by ruralgirl on Jan 12, 2019 23:51:32 GMT
I don't blame you for being annoyed. It's rude, inconsiderate, and it is wasting your time (unless they had a really good reason).
|
|
|
Post by mikewozowski on Jan 12, 2019 23:57:02 GMT
my SIL and her family. their time is more important than anyone else's.
|
|
|
Post by femalebusiness on Jan 13, 2019 0:00:53 GMT
My rule is the first time it was an accident, the second time it is a habit and I am finished going places with them.
This is also why 99% of the time I will take my own car and meet them there. I like my independence.
|
|
|
Post by smalltowngirlie on Jan 13, 2019 0:58:37 GMT
Do not wait for them. Either they will learn to be on time or choose not to do things with you. My sister was notorious for being late, but usually only 5-10 minutes, she also had 5 children to get out the door so often there was a lot out of her control. .
|
|
|
Post by Outspoken on Jan 13, 2019 1:43:55 GMT
One of my best friends is always late. Usually she is about 20 min late. I plan to get places at least 5 min after we say we’ll meet. I’m still first. Often, like another poster said, she’ll say that she decided to do something on the way and that made her late. I hate that she’s a,ways Kate for stuff and she knows that it bugs me. I’m always 5 min early. If you plan to arrive 5 minutes AFTER you agree to meet, then you are also late. This doesn’t make sense to me.
|
|