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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 18, 2019 14:42:33 GMT
# 1.....The other night, I was driving on a busy road and saw two sweet golden retrievers running back and forth, across the lanes. As always, my first instinct was to stop, try to grab them, take them in my car with me and see if they had ID tags. (It was late, and I wouldn't want to try doing all of this on the side of a busy road). If they didn't have ID tags, the next morning, I'd take them to our vet to scan for microchips to try and contact their owners. But there are tooooo many loose doggies out there, and even thought I WISH I could do all of that, it's not physically possible for me to get dogs into my car, not to mention, they could bite/ injure me, etc. Soooo ----I did the usual----cried and prayed they wouldn't get injured/ die from being hit by a car.  It reminded me of a time when I was around 8 or 9, with my Dad on a very large interstate. I saw a doggie on the side that was either scared or dead, I can't remember. I cried SO hard, my poor Dad couldn't console me no matter how hard he tried. Only 4 years ago, (after having our first doggie Meaty for 10 years), I learned about how many lost, neglected, abused, abandoned bulldogs needed homes. I cannot BELIEVE DH and I didn't even know about rescues until 4 years ago!!! DH and I started fostering/ adopting bulldogs, and omg....it is SO worth it, but also heartbreaking. Anyhooo.....seeing those poor doggies running all over the roads the other night brought back that very sad childhood memory. My Dad was here visiting, and when I got home, I gave him a LONG (( hug )) and thanked him for being such a sweet Dad! ------------------------------------------ # 2.......When I was 10, our Girl Scout troop went to sing at a nursing home. Seeing the sweet, (some) very sick-looking, frail elderly people made me SO sad, I cried my eyes out and couldn't get those sad people out of my mind. That memory has stuck with me forever. Fast forward MANY years, I ended up volunteering / working at different nursing homes. While it was VERY depressing at times, I also loved it. One of the many things I did was take my doggies to visit, and OMG---- the JOY on the residents' faces !!!!!!!   I'll never forget this one lady who never EVER smiled....until the time my sweet Sophie went up to her bed. (heart melt !!) I can't physically do that right now, but I hope to someday again!! ------------------------------------------ # 3.......This used to be so painful, but thanks to God and counseling  , I've gotten over it. It was Easter, I was 7 or 8. My Mom had given me the recipe to make 7-minute icing and I was so excited to make it, (and be an excellent cook and baker like her and my older sister) but I made a mistake and it was ruined. Mom had been drinking allllll day and verbally lashed out at me, saying something to the effect of NO ONE should fail at making this frosting, what's wrong with you, (or some words like that), annnd she may have also (once again) compared me to my "perfect" older sister who would have made the frosting perfectly. That frosting incident sticks out in my mind so clearly, and thanks to alcohol, we were verbally abused for many years. I used to be WAY too critical of myself ... but now, (again---thanks to God and counseling---) if I fail at something, I just shrug it off, laugh if it's something funny/ ridiculous, and/or ....I just try again.
How about you?
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 18, 2019 14:56:25 GMT
scrappintoee I am SO sorry you had the frosting experience. That would certainly stick with me. I have a couple that I'll really never get over. The worst was when my brother died in his sleep. I was 6.
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Post by myboysnme on Apr 18, 2019 14:58:14 GMT
When I was 4 or 5 there was a fire in a very large old home just down the street and we kids stood outside and watched as someone was on a balcony beating a rug to try to put out the fire, then the fire trucks came and I remember the smoke coming from the house.
After that time I recall having unreasonable fear of fire. In high school it was the source of a great deal of fear and paranoia, unreasonably. Like if my mom lit a candle I would pat the carpet repeatedly to put out any errant sparks that might be smoldering in the carpet, only to flare up when we are asleep. Now many decades later I know that was mental illness.
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Deleted
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Apr 16, 2024 8:48:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2019 14:59:53 GMT
I have posted a few.
I never get angry or upset if something gets spilled or broken. Beating a child over something so trivial......
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Apr 18, 2019 15:02:50 GMT
I have a couple middle-school teasing incidents that I haven't ever forgotten, and I would say they probably helped to shape my self-image- not in a good way, unfortunately. And that was almost 40 years ago, now.
Girls hitting puberty + middle-school boys = LOTS of 'teasing' that wasn't exactly teasing. They probably thought it was innocent enough, but words DO last for a long time, and their effects can hurt.
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Post by christine58 on Apr 18, 2019 15:16:07 GMT
One stands out...we were headed to my grandparents on Xmas Eve. They lived about 10 miles away. As we were almost there, a car had a flat tire and was on the side of the road. Now my dad could have kept going, but instead stopped and helped this couple so they could get where they were going. One of the three of us must have asked why he stopped and my dad said " Always help when you can. We were almost to your grandparents and these people needed my help." My brothers and I now still always help others and I think that mindset came from that night. (we were all under 10)
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 18, 2019 15:26:20 GMT
mikklynn .. I'm SO sorry about your brother! myboysnme .....That must have been horrible! @megmc ....I'm not sure if you're saying you were beaten, but if you were----I'm so sorry! crimsoncat05 ....UGH! I know EXACTLY what you mean---the same things happened to me. It took me YEARS to get over it, but I will never forget in 10th grade, our biology lab teacher paired us up randomly, and my lab partner was very popular and pretty. Out in the hallway, she was with a crowd of her popular friends, and as I quietly walked by, she YELLED "Ugh, that FAT GIRL is my lab partner! " Ohhh, what that did to my already VERY low self esteem! Years later, I was perusing a reunion website from our high school, and I have to admit I was thrilled that she looked as though she had NOT aged well, and that I (honestly) looked better than her.....Superficial of me? ....yup! Embarrassed that I was being so petty? yup!  Oh, and on top of that, she had a military career, and looked rough and mean, too! I don't remember, but I THINK she was Enlisted, and if she was, I'm SURE I thought to myself: "hmmm.....didn't have what it took to become an Officer?"
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Post by needtime2scrap on Apr 18, 2019 15:30:15 GMT
There are a few for sure. One that stands out to me was my mom saying "you'd have such a beautiful figure if you lost 20lbs" keep in mind at that point I was maybe 15/16 and at most a size 10/12. Not huge. It's no wonder when I left home and then got married that I ballooned up to a size 18 (I'm 5'1) it took me a long while to get my mom out of my head and to get myself healthy. I've kept off most of my weight for 12 years and Hoover around the size 8/10 category. Even when I got a tummy tuck a couple of years ago, she still wasn't supportive. I really think she didn't know how to be knowing what I know about her family. I try very hard not to do that kind of damage to my daughter, although if you talk to my 16 yr old I probably have 🙄
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Post by PolarGreen12 on Apr 18, 2019 15:37:39 GMT
When I was 9 or 10 I was a neighbor girls house and her great aunt was visiting. I remember we were sitting at the kitchen table and shed made us a snack. I mentioned that my birthday party was that weekend and asked the friend if she was coming to the party. The great aunt told me I wouldn't be able to have my birthday party because the world was ending the day before. I ran straight home and my Mom was probably freaked because I was crying so hard I couldn't even get the words out as to why I was upset. I had a real fear of end of the world events until my mid 20s or so. Now Im just annoyed that some old bitch would say that to a kid.
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Post by miominmio on Apr 18, 2019 15:38:44 GMT
I was 11 or 12 when my dad told me to move my big, fat ass. I carry the shock and pain with me still, almost 40 years later. I was a skinny, little thing, and became even thinner as my eating disorder got worse.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,526 
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Post by Just T on Apr 18, 2019 15:48:49 GMT
So, sooo many, and most of them not in a good way.
One thing that jumped into my mind as soon as I read the title of this thread is something that happened when I was in 4th grade.
I went to a small Catholic school. First of all, that is the first year I remember having a teacher that I thought was mean. LOL Her husband was the school's art teacher. One day, we worked with a partner to create something. (I don't remember what exactly!) I had always like art and thought it was something I was pretty good at. On this particular day, the art teacher did not like what my friend and I had done, and he refused to let us hang it up on the wall with everyone else's project. I remember feeling so devastated and embarrassed, and art was never the same for me after that. Though the funny thing is that I still harbor that inner "artist." I do creative things, I crochet, bead, knit, etc, but I always wish I could draw, paint, etc.
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Deleted
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Apr 16, 2024 8:48:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2019 15:53:14 GMT
When I was 9 or 10 I was a neighbor girls house and her great aunt was visiting. I remember we were sitting at the kitchen table and shed made us a snack. I mentioned that my birthday party was that weekend and asked the friend if she was coming to the party. The great aunt told me I wouldn't be able to have my birthday party because the world was ending the day before. I ran straight home and my Mom was probably freaked because I was crying so hard I couldn't even get the words out as to why I was upset. I had a real fear of end of the world events until my mid 20s or so. Now Im just annoyed that some old bitch would say that to a kid. I wonder if this is a common fear? Elementary school science, the sun was going to go nova and destroy us all! I have lived in fear of this all my life. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
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Post by Just T on Apr 18, 2019 15:54:29 GMT
I was 11 or 12 when my dad told me to move my big, fat ass. I carry the shock and pain with me still, almost 40 years later. I was a skinny, little thing, and became even thinner as my eating disorder got worse. That is so awful. 
My best friend all through HS had a real asshole father. He used to call her a name that referred to her big butt. And the thing is, this girl was absolutely gorgeous, with a beautiful model-like body. Her butt was not even close to big. She is still gorgeous and has a daughter who looks exactly like she did at that age who is on the pom line at a major university. I haven't talked to her for a long time, but well into adulthood, she had body issues and issues with food, etc. All because of her jerk dad.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 18, 2019 15:57:24 GMT
I think I have some kind of blocking thing in my brain. My dad could say the cruelest things, like my weight (I was never heavy, but I wasn't a skinny kid, just average) but for some reason I always thought of myself fat (as a younger person).. I'm fat now and I own it.. but looking back at pictures, I was always trying to hide.. like wearing a tee-shirt over a swimsuit. I wasn't fat at all.. just an average gal. I know it stemmed from my dad, I just don't remember specific details.
This isn't so much childhood but I was 18/19 so a young adult.. someone that I was dating was someone that I was madly in love with and thought for sure it would last. It didn't last, he basically broke my heart and left without much as hardly a goodbye. He was probably never right for me anyways and I always believe that if he had treated the ending of the relationship better instead of driving off with me standing in the middle of the road not knowing what the hell was going on, I would probably have a much healthier attitude about relationships. I guess it didn't screw me up THAT much, I have been married for over 25 years.. but I think our marriage could be better if I wasn't so messed up by the men in my past. Dumb men.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 18, 2019 15:59:10 GMT
My dad and brother dying three days apart of completely unrelated causes when I was 10. My dad passed away on the day of my brother’s funeral. It was a horrific, chaotic couple of weeks for a little kid.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,638
Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Apr 18, 2019 16:03:20 GMT
The day I learned I had another sister I never knew existed. My mother gave her second-born up at birth.
The time a kid my age died. Up until then I didn't realize people "my age" (I was in grade school) could die.
Then there was the time my father threatened to murder me as he was going through a divorce with my mother.
Yup, good times.
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slkmommy
Junior Member
Posts: 97
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Post by slkmommy on Apr 18, 2019 16:04:20 GMT
There are probably many, but the first one that popped into my head was this one....
My cousin was more like a sister to me because we were only 2 years apart. Till this day we are super close even though we don’t talk every day. Apparently my sister ( who was 14 years older than me and by now had a little boy only 7 years younger than me) was babysitting her and took her to another family members house with her while she got a haircut.
The cousin cutting my sisters hair and my sister were talking about me and the hair cutters sister...another cousin close to my age.
The conversation included my sister saying that I “wouldn’t amount to anything in life”. My sister ... said that ... I’ve never forgotten and might not ever forget. And I’m not sure I’ve ever forgiven her either
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brandy327
Drama Llama
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Post by brandy327 on Apr 18, 2019 16:56:42 GMT
So many of them honestly.
1 - I was 8 years old and my grandmother(paternal) had died in a car accident. We were at my grandparents house and my mom and I were in a bedroom with my aunt who was getting ready for the funeral. She was standing in front of the closet wearing black pantyhose and a bra and said "lose your weight when you're younger because it's a bitch when you get older". It was the first time I realized I was fat. And the first time I felt like I wasn't good enough.
2 - My grandparents(maternal) watched me and my brother when we were younger. My grandfather was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers when I was probably 9 or 10. He was napping on the couch and they lived in a trailer so there wasn't a lot of space. I had to walk by the couch to get to the kitchen. When I walked by, he yelled out "it sounds like a damned bunch of elephants stomping through here".
3 - My favorite uncle (which now that I look back as an adult, I'm not sure why he was) used to call me Bertha wide load or Bertha big butt. And often made beeping noises(like a truck) when I'd sit down.
I have so many stories that are similar... family and classmates did a lot of mental damage throughout my childhood.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 18, 2019 17:38:20 GMT
My dad and brother dying three days apart of completely unrelated causes when I was 10. My dad passed away on the day of my brother’s funeral. It was a horrific, chaotic couple of weeks for a little kid. Oh, my gosh! I can't even imagine the trauma of those two losses so close together to a child. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 18, 2019 17:42:19 GMT
My dad and brother dying three days apart of completely unrelated causes when I was 10. My dad passed away on the day of my brother’s funeral. It was a horrific, chaotic couple of weeks for a little kid. Oh, my gosh! I can't even imagine the trauma of those two losses so close together to a child. Yeah, and all of that went down about a week before my birthday. Happy Birthday to me, not. |
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Deleted
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Apr 16, 2024 8:48:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2019 17:57:03 GMT
When I was about 5 we were driving with my grandparents to the botanical gardens in New York. There was an awful accident and my grandmother told me not to look. Of course being 5 I looked. I wish I hadn't. There were bodies all over the highway |
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Deleted
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Apr 16, 2024 8:48:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2019 17:58:05 GMT
So many of them honestly. 1 - I was 8 years old and my grandmother(paternal) had died in a car accident. We were at my grandparents house and my mom and I were in a bedroom with my aunt who was getting ready for the funeral. She was standing in front of the closet wearing black pantyhose and a bra and said "lose your weight when you're younger because it's a bitch when you get older". It was the first time I realized I was fat. And the first time I felt like I wasn't good enough. 2 - My grandparents(maternal) watched me and my brother when we were younger. My grandfather was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers when I was probably 9 or 10. He was napping on the couch and they lived in a trailer so there wasn't a lot of space. I had to walk by the couch to get to the kitchen. When I walked by, he yelled out "it sounds like a damned bunch of elephants stomping through here". 3 - My favorite uncle (which now that I look back as an adult, I'm not sure why he was) used to call me Bertha wide load or Bertha big butt. And often made beeping noises(like a truck) when I'd sit down. I have so many stories that are similar... family and classmates did a lot of mental damage throughout my childhood. I am so sorry...that makes me sad for you |
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Post by NanaKate on Apr 18, 2019 18:14:29 GMT
Too many to mention. Hugs to all...
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Post by lbp on Apr 18, 2019 18:21:53 GMT
One of my friend's brothers was struck and killed by lightning while he was in the barn. I was in the 4th grade and we all pitched in money and bought her some flowers. I have been terrified of lightning ever since.
When I was 18 the first week at my new job and lady who worked there lost her teenage son in a car accident. He always told her don't worry about him if he didn't come home because he would be at his friend Ricky's house. It was a very cold night and he didn't come home so she didn't worry until about noon the next day when she called Ricky's mom to see where her son was. He had left Ricky's house at 11:00 p.m.. She called the police and they found his wrecked car about 2 miles from home, down an embankment. The horrible part was he did not die from his injuries. He died hours later from the freezing temperatures. He had tried to crawl out of the wreckage. She was inconsolable! If she had only checked on him earlier she thought he would still be alive. She ended up having a nervous breakdown and was committed for a couple of years. This has made me very nervous if someone isn't where they are supposed to be at the right time. I will freak out and start calling to make sure they are ok. I am sure that it is annoying for my DH and son, but I can't help it.
I am so sorry so many of you were made feel bad about your weight. I was called names by my peers because I was so skinny but it didn't seem to bother me.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 18, 2019 18:37:19 GMT
Being teased, picked on, made fun of, bullied...in my own home by siblings and step-siblings and nothing at all was done to stop it.
I was withdrawn, and retreated within because of it. Words hurt.
To this day, I still have raw wounds deep in my soul because of it.
I still occasionally endure verbal abuse from these same people. Passive aggressive comments towards me. Which is why I severely limit time with Family.
My Mother still doesn't get the severity of it or the impact that the bullying had on me. She did nothing to stop it, she did nothing to protect me, she think it's trivial childhood stuff.
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Post by birukitty on Apr 18, 2019 18:54:15 GMT
My mom has been verbally abusive to me and all of my siblings our whole lives. We've been very blessed to have an amazing father to balance her abuse. One of the things that stands out in my mind is when I was graduating from the AA college I attended for my first two years with not just one but two degrees. She said to me, "Well it's not really a college, is it?" That hurt so bad and I let it get to me so much that I didn't even attend the graduation ceremony. I regret that all of these years later.
It took me a long time to build my self-esteem. It wasn't until I was 33, had left my abusive husband and got some amazing therapy that my self esteem got stronger and stronger. Now I just blow off what she says and realize it comes from a damaged place inside her. She was raised during the war in Germany by a single mother that didn't want her. A mother that was abusive to her constantly. A mother that abandoned her quite often during her babyhood and toddlerhood. She is the one who needs therapy now and has for years but she won't go.
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Post by vi on Apr 18, 2019 19:07:10 GMT
Wow! Some of you have been impacted by huge events. Also words can hurt and middle school can be some hard years. As an adult, I hope you look back at those boys that said such hurtful things and realize that they were just ignorant, immature boys. I hope you can brush it off and realize that what they said wasn't necessarily true.
One of the events that happened to me was when I was 14 years old. My best friend was 15 and had been a prom server. Her and her Dad stopped by our house afterwards that evening and I wanted her to spend the night with me. She had an exciting time and was getting back together with her boyfriend and I wanted to hear all about it. Her Dad decided that she better go home but on the way she died of an asthma attack. Her funeral was huge with not everyone being seated in the church. There was a big crowd outside. Her death made such an impression on me and I wanted to be a better person because of her.
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Post by warrior1991 on Apr 18, 2019 19:17:01 GMT
When I was 13, our dairy cows got sick and we had to stop selling our milk and were losing cows & calves daily. (The creek that ran through our farm was contaminated by a chemical the railroad used when they repaired their bridge over the creek). This caused my dad to get sick also and he had to leave our farm and couldn't live with us. By age 15 we lost the farm to the bank and we had to move. We moved from the northern border of MN to the southern border of MN. It was very hard but I was missing my dad and was so happy to be a family again under one roof. But moving from one small town school to another small town school made me get out of my shell and forced me to talk to people and make friends. It has made me more out going today. I'm still shy, but not as bad.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 18, 2019 19:27:43 GMT
Being teased, picked on, made fun of, bullied...in my own home by siblings and step-siblings and nothing at all was done to stop it. I was withdrawn, and retreated within because of it. Words hurt. To this day, I still have raw wounds deep in my soul because of it. I still occasionally endure verbal abuse from these same people. Passive aggressive comments towards me. Which is why I severely limit time with Family. My Mother still doesn't get the severity of it or the impact that the bullying had on me. She did nothing to stop it, she did nothing to protect me, she think it's trivial childhood stuff. Well, she's wrong. It's NOT trivial. I'm sorry. |
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Post by cindytred on Apr 18, 2019 19:29:57 GMT
My dad and brother dying three days apart of completely unrelated causes when I was 10. My dad passed away on the day of my brother’s funeral. It was a horrific, chaotic couple of weeks for a little kid. OMG! I. cannot. imagine. {{{{Hugs}}}} Cindy |
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I'll never forget this one lady who never EVER smiled....until the time my sweet Sophie went up to her bed. (heart melt !!) I can't physically do that right now, but I hope to someday again!! 
, I've gotten over it. It was Easter, I was 7 or 8. My Mom had given me the recipe to make 7-minute icing and I was so excited to make it, (and be an excellent cook and baker like her and my older sister) but I made a mistake and it was ruined. 
