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Post by refugeepea on Apr 27, 2019 19:23:50 GMT
Seriously, show the ugly side. Track marks. Burns. Flesh eaten away. The babies effected by exposure in meth making houses. Very true! I'll never forget the photos my biology teacher showed us of untreated STD's.
That is beautifully written. In our area (as in pretty much every area) we are having a crisis with opioids. We have lost so many in their early 20s. With their whole lives ahead of them. Several parents have written similar obits for their children, and it tears my heart apart each time. I'm glad my son is grown and the worry is past for me. But if I had a teenager, I think I'd be tempted to simply lock him away!The most recent overdose death that I'm aware of in my town was a 40 year old mother of three. When I lived in another town, another mother of three was caught stealing drugs from a home while her toddler son was in her truck in his car seat. She was probably closer to 30 than 20. A few years ago, my sister's highschool classmate died of an overdose. He was close to being 40. He also left three kids and an exwife (left him because of his addiction).
ETA: I know of a woman who would listen to church announcements in the ladies group for anyone that had surgery. She would watch their house and steal pain pills when they weren't home. She went off the deep end when her daughter died in a car accident.
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
RefuPea #1406
Posts: 2,648
Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Apr 27, 2019 19:46:57 GMT
Seriously, show the ugly side. Track marks. Burns. Flesh eaten away. The babies effected by exposure in meth making houses. Very true! I'll never forget the photos my biology teacher showed us of untreated STD's.
That is beautifully written. In our area (as in pretty much every area) we are having a crisis with opioids. We have lost so many in their early 20s. With their whole lives ahead of them. Several parents have written similar obits for their children, and it tears my heart apart each time. I'm glad my son is grown and the worry is past for me. But if I had a teenager, I think I'd be tempted to simply lock him away!The most recent overdose death that I'm aware of in my town was a 40 year old mother of three. When I lived in another town, another mother of three was caught stealing drugs from a home while her toddler son was in her truck in his car seat. She was probably closer to 30 than 20. A few years ago, my sister's highschool classmate died of an overdose. He was close to being 40. He also left three kids and an exwife (left him because of his addiction).
ETA: I know of a woman who would listen to church announcements in the ladies group for anyone that had surgery. She would watch their house and steal pain pills when they weren't home. She went off the deep end when her daughter died in a car accident.
So true! All it takes is one operation or one dental surgery with prescribed opioids taken too long and an opioid addiction rears its ugly head. It's not always people experimenting with drug use who become addicted. The only thing age has a bearing on is that addicts of these type of drugs are usually dead by 40, according to the ret. police officer.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 9:48:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2019 19:49:31 GMT
TFS. That was a beautiful obituary. I fully understand the life of an addict (it doesn't have to be opioids that take hold of you). DS28's high school graduating class lost *more than half* of their students to ODing. Heaing their names ring in my head, one after the other, hit me like a ton of bricks. They weren't "losers". These were kids who stumbled onto drugs one way or another and it took over their lives. They were still able to function, work, hide the fact that they had an addiction, go to sober houses again and again and then fall back into it. Each time was worse.
The absolute worst was 2 years ago when (then) DS26 ran into my bedroom early in the morning, just screaming with tears running down his face, that his best friend died that morning. His best friend was here in FL in a sober house (again). He looked healthy. He was sober for months. He got some bad news the night before and wound up meeting an old friend outside of the sober house. He came back, went to bed and passed away. He overdosed. It doesn't take much when you've been off of it for a while. It was tragic. I had just spoken to him a few weeks prior. I didn't really want DS to speak to any of his 'drug friends'. I wanted to keep him safe. DS had his own struggle with drugs that wound up with heroin. He got sober on his own, came down here to FL to move in with us and we found a good program for him to begin. He flowered into a healthy, happy, productive adult. He wanted to stay away from anyone and anything that enabled him to be in that circle of drugs, so being here was a safety-net. Anyway, speaking to his friend was surreal for me. He was now an adult, but this mama had her concerns as he was not done with his work. I won't forget his words to me on that call though. How he died, alone in a bed, not in his own home, not with the people he loved, hurt me. I wondered if it was fast or if he felt pain. I wondered if he did this on purpose or if his "friend" slipped him something.
Addiction is such a tough struggle. DS has said that having his family be relentlessly there to help him, did eventually sink in. He had to WANT that help and that change. Without that, it's almost impossible. Even with it, the odds aren't too good.
So, prayers to Maddie and to her family, and especially her son. They wrote a very real accounting of an addict's life. It's never cut and dried. It's never easy.
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Deleted
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May 17, 2024 9:48:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2019 19:55:14 GMT
What a powerful obituary and so sad. I too would judge. They took the pills, let them suffer. Not any more. If you want to really have your eyes opened to addiction you need to read Dopesick by Beth Macy DopesickOther excellent books (that helped me as a parent of an addicted son) are Tweak by Nic Sheff; Beautiful Boy by (his father) David Sheff; We All Fall Down by Nic Sheff; Schizo by Nic Sheff. Nic is an amazing person who does do speaking engagements and social media (and movies) to help the addiction culture.
Peas shouldn't assume that this begins hitting teens---it starts at a much earlier age than that, so, beware!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 9:48:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2019 19:59:54 GMT
Seriously, show the ugly side. Track marks. Burns. Flesh eaten away. The babies effected by exposure in meth making houses. Very true! I'll never forget the photos my biology teacher showed us of untreated STD's.
That is beautifully written. In our area (as in pretty much every area) we are having a crisis with opioids. We have lost so many in their early 20s. With their whole lives ahead of them. Several parents have written similar obits for their children, and it tears my heart apart each time. I'm glad my son is grown and the worry is past for me. But if I had a teenager, I think I'd be tempted to simply lock him away!The most recent overdose death that I'm aware of in my town was a 40 year old mother of three. When I lived in another town, another mother of three was caught stealing drugs from a home while her toddler son was in her truck in his car seat. She was probably closer to 30 than 20. A few years ago, my sister's highschool classmate died of an overdose. He was close to being 40. He also left three kids and an exwife (left him because of his addiction).
ETA: I know of a woman who would listen to church announcements in the ladies group for anyone that had surgery. She would watch their house and steal pain pills when they weren't home. She went off the deep end when her daughter died in a car accident.
Good points! I lived in an era where we saw epic musicians and singers die from drugs. My mom would warn us about drugs and the possibility of abusing them. It sunk in. In my whole life I've never smoked a cigarette or tried a street drug. I DO take opioids for my pain, but I am closely monitored and I've never had a problem with it. I never take more than I'm allotted, nor do I want to. I guess I'm lucky. I feel that it's in your makeup to have those strong addiction tendencies, and I've found that almost every kid that died from ODing (that I knew--DS' friends) had underlying issues that were unaddressed and not medicated--depression, anxiety, etc........ They masked it with drugs and alcohol.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Apr 27, 2019 21:13:06 GMT
Two of my cousins, siblings, died of overdoses within a few months of each other. The oldest was in a terrible car accident (he was not driving) when he was 15 or 16. He had a foot that was badly damaged but was not amputated. His addiction to opiates began after that accident. He started with legally prescribed pills but eventuqlly graduated to heroin. He died at 21 with two young children. His sister was 19 when she died. She had an infant daughter.
Addiction is a terrible disease. Opiates, in particular, are devastating and incredibly addictive.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 27, 2019 22:37:25 GMT
Good points! I lived in an era where we saw epic musicians and singers die from drugs. My mom would warn us about drugs and the possibility of abusing them. It sunk in. In my whole life I've never smoked a cigarette or tried a street drug. I DO take opioids for my pain, but I am closely monitored and I've never had a problem with it. I never take more than I'm allotted, nor do I want to. I guess I'm lucky. I feel that it's in your makeup to have those strong addiction tendencies, and I've found that almost every kid that died from ODing (that I knew--DS' friends) had underlying issues that were unaddressed and not medicated--depression, anxiety, etc........ They masked it with drugs and alcohol. Yes, the 27 club. A lot of musicians dying too young. I take one of the lowest classes of drugs for pain and I've been through the same issues as you; problems getting a refill and only taking what is prescribed. I will be the full time caregiver of my son the entire summer. He's 4'10" and will probably outgrow me in a couple of years. I can barely restrain him now when he harms himself so much, he starts bleeding. My knees, back, and hands are messed up. I hate getting drilled every time. I come out feeling like an addict. I told them it was possible there would be *some* days I might need two. I can deal with life and go back down to one when school starts just so I don't have to deal with the crap they put me through. I've gone to the same doctor and the same pharmacy for years. I went the first week of April to my appointment and the med was filled yesterday. This time though it actually was not the insurance, the doctor's office messed up. Six months ago when I went, the questionnaire was around eight pages from my insurance company.
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Post by bunnyhug on Apr 27, 2019 23:00:17 GMT
That is beautifully written. In our area (as in pretty much every area) we are having a crisis with opioids. We have lost so many in their early 20s. With their whole lives ahead of them. Several parents have written similar obits for their children, and it tears my heart apart each time. I'm glad my son is grown and the worry is past for me. But if I had a teenager, I think I'd be tempted to simply lock him away! Not to try to scare you, but more like warn—the manager of a crisis centre/shelter in my city came to my organization’s staff development day last year to talk to us about our downtown core and all the issues happening there—she says that the most vulnerable group to drug addiction/overdose is males between about 18-35. These are the people who take the most safety risks at work and in their leisure activities (construction/rig labourers, backcountry snowmobiling, sports, etc, etc) and who most often get injuries that lead to chronic pain, which can do very easily lead to opioid addiction, etc. Lots of them still manage to carry on a somewhat normal life, and then overdose at home, hidden from public view, so we all think that the opioid crisis is all about the street involved youth we cross paths with daily—but they are really just the visible tip of the iceberg...
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
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Post by azredhead on Apr 27, 2019 23:01:25 GMT
Good points! I lived in an era where we saw epic musicians and singers die from drugs. My mom would warn us about drugs and the possibility of abusing them. It sunk in. In my whole life I've never smoked a cigarette or tried a street drug. I DO take opioids for my pain, but I am closely monitored and I've never had a problem with it. I never take more than I'm allotted, nor do I want to. I guess I'm lucky. I feel that it's in your makeup to have those strong addiction tendencies, and I've found that almost every kid that died from ODing (that I knew--DS' friends) had underlying issues that were unaddressed and not medicated--depression, anxiety, etc........ They masked it with drugs and alcohol. Yes, the 27 club. A lot of musicians dying too young. I take one of the lowest classes of drugs for pain and I've been through the same issues as you; problems getting a refill and only taking what is prescribed. I will be the full time caregiver of my son the entire summer. He's 4'10" and will probably outgrow me in a couple of years. I can barely restrain him now when he harms himself so much, he starts bleeding. My knees, back, and hands are messed up. I hate getting drilled every time. I come out feeling like an addict. I told them it was possible there would be *some* days I might need two. I can deal with life and go back down to one when school starts just so I don't have to deal with the crap they put me through. I've gone to the same doctor and the same pharmacy for years. I went the first week of April to my appointment and the med was filled yesterday. This time though it actually was not the insurance, the doctor's office messed up. Six months ago when I went, the questionnaire was around eight pages from my insurance company. TFS It's beautiiful and real. it is similar to my uncle only he came clean, it was the meds from pnemonia (similar to what happened to Corey Haim) that killed him. There was much speculation. My uncle had it all. Good family, amazing wife who I adore to this day. I went on trips with them and kids, to babysit, etc. I was older cousin. So I did most of that. It crushed me. Then DH dear friend's blew his head off after an ugly divorce. 2nd worst funeral I've ever been too. That's the cold hard reality. They ways they end it aren't pretty either. Right down to my mother. I still haven't shared her full story here. I hope soon I can because it needs to be told. For those that deal with chronic pain the struggle is STILL REAL! Lack of medical care can wreck your life. The three of us peas have talked so much about the 'crisis' and what it goes through for patients and the addicts. There HAS TO be an easier way. I just don't know what that is yet. Because telling people you can't take this anymore kills people just as fast. And it's monitored to the moon. Dr's are scared. My reg dr we've had for 15yrs is now scared to prescribe opiods. Utah, and Arizona are some of the toughest in the country. We have some leanancy of a 3 day window depending on the pharmacy. In Utah there isn't one. That scares the hell out of me and I'm on the low end also. My heart hurts for those who have gone through the sheer hell of having to deal with the pain or watching some die becasuse of it. Life is preciously short.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 9:48:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2019 1:02:02 GMT
Good points! I lived in an era where we saw epic musicians and singers die from drugs. My mom would warn us about drugs and the possibility of abusing them. It sunk in. In my whole life I've never smoked a cigarette or tried a street drug. I DO take opioids for my pain, but I am closely monitored and I've never had a problem with it. I never take more than I'm allotted, nor do I want to. I guess I'm lucky. I feel that it's in your makeup to have those strong addiction tendencies, and I've found that almost every kid that died from ODing (that I knew--DS' friends) had underlying issues that were unaddressed and not medicated--depression, anxiety, etc........ They masked it with drugs and alcohol. Yes, the 27 club. A lot of musicians dying too young. I take one of the lowest classes of drugs for pain and I've been through the same issues as you; problems getting a refill and only taking what is prescribed. I will be the full time caregiver of my son the entire summer. He's 4'10" and will probably outgrow me in a couple of years. I can barely restrain him now when he harms himself so much, he starts bleeding. My knees, back, and hands are messed up. I hate getting drilled every time. I come out feeling like an addict. I told them it was possible there would be *some* days I might need two. I can deal with life and go back down to one when school starts just so I don't have to deal with the crap they put me through. I've gone to the same doctor and the same pharmacy for years. I went the first week of April to my appointment and the med was filled yesterday. This time though it actually was not the insurance, the doctor's office messed up. Six months ago when I went, the questionnaire was around eight pages from my insurance company. I am SO very sorry to hear about what you go through with your son. Being his caregiver can be so very rough on you when you're not 100% okay and strong to begin with. That breaks my heart and I wish you the best. I pray that your summer will go more smoothly than you think. As for my son's graduating class, they began dying while some of them began college, so it's been over the span over 11 years or so. Many of his friends did get clean and his rule is that he doesn't hang out with anyone he's done drugs with. Works for him. About our pain meds, I wrote it on another thread that my pain dr told me to go thru my insurance company's pharmacy if I was having a rough time getting it filled. No other pharmacy could get this Rx (manufacturer shortage/issue), but my insurance company is putting it through. They told me that they get the meds before pharmacies do. I had no idea. I've never gotten a questionnaire from my Medicare, but maybe it's because I go to a pain mgmt doctor for years?? They certainly have the paperwork and testing on me and it's always up to date. I hope that you won't have a problem getting it if you need it!!
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cherivall
Junior Member
Posts: 82
Jun 25, 2014 19:31:06 GMT
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Post by cherivall on Apr 28, 2019 11:00:17 GMT
I will admit I used to judge. I used to think people using drugs were just weak. I lost my 26 year old niece to addiction 6 months ago. I was at her side along with my dad at the hospital and watched her take her last breath. Just typing this makes me tear up. I will never judge addicts like I used to again, because going through it with someone you love you realize it is an a disease. A horrible, awful disease that robs people of willpower, hope, drive and so much more. My niece was a different person using the drugs. She gave up on life. One of the worst parts for me has been mourning what might have been. The life we had all hoped would happen for her, now never will. This .. word for word . Except it was my daughter.. especially the what might have been 💔 .. I am so sorry for your loss ..
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Post by mrssmith on Apr 29, 2019 3:42:10 GMT
My condolences to everyone who has suffered terrible losses. I appreciate this obituary for giving me a different perspective. I looked her up and it also seems like she did not get proper medical care at he time of her last arrest. To those who are local - was there an investigation?
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Post by wordfish on Apr 29, 2019 13:05:35 GMT
One of the best things that has resulted from advances in medical technology has been a way to actually visualize and measure what happens in the brains of addicts. The newer functional MRIs (I think that is what they are called) can actually show what is happening, the pathways that get worn into grooves and how the addict brain handles opiates or alcohol. I used to think turning into an addict was a choice; I no longer do. It's not that simple. Choice is a factor, but it's not all there is to it. The very high relapse rate is completely explained by how the addict/alcoholic brain works.
I watched a film about it not that long ago. It was done by an MD who is a former addict and he explains how the brain processes drugs and alcohol and why it's so very difficult to quit.
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Post by sasha on Apr 29, 2019 14:04:46 GMT
I see more and more people including in the obits about their children losing their fight with addiction and find it so courageous and powerful. I admire them for doing this.
(also, sorry you are in the middle of an opiate shit storm as you said. I hope whomever is affected gets help and conquers it!)
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Apr 29, 2019 21:19:10 GMT
agreed, needs to go viral i read it online somewhere esle it seems to be making the rounds once we remove the shame and stigma we might have a chance at chipping away at this epidemic so many people in the 'not my kid' club...until it is their club i don't want people to have their eyes opened when it's too late gina
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