likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Oct 10, 2014 17:42:02 GMT
Well, we both have a pension and we also have a 401K. We will be able to send them to college. We aren't retiring for at least 20 years. If you feel comfortable with your financial situation, I see no reason why you can't tell your husband that you will be taking a little money out of your weekly income to spend as you please. I think the key, as most other peas are trying to convey, is honesty and communication.
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Post by songbird on Oct 10, 2014 18:09:54 GMT
We are not married yet, but we do have a shared household budget and separate accounts until we are married. I can't imagine having a secret account, but I can understand why some would want one. I think him paying down debt is a good thing and if you are both on board now, you will likely have lots of extra money in the long run after the debt is gone.
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Post by gorgeouskid on Oct 10, 2014 19:56:09 GMT
I don't have a secret account. I do have a credit union savings where I deposit my extra duty paychecks. We don't have a regular branch bank, and both of our paychecks are autodeposited. So if I get a check, I used to have to mail it off to the bank. Now I just put it in the savings- it's usually not much, but after a few months I withdraw some $ and get a massage or something. It's not secret. DH doesn't have one that I know about... I guess one wouldn't know about a secret account at any rate.
My best friend does have one. Her husband is extremely controlling about money, and she is a SAHM and he begrudges her every penny that she spends on herself. So, her parents give her money and put it in an account that her husband doesn't know about. That way she can get her eyebrows waxed without her husband haranguing her about it. It's not a huge amount.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 10, 2014 20:59:34 GMT
If you wanna do it.. do it..
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Oct 10, 2014 22:39:28 GMT
Even a tight fiscal ship should include some 'fun money' for each of you. I think that is an important budget item. How about discussing that with your husband. Like you, there was never any money for me, ever.... Now I am divorced.... Not because of that, but it was a symptom
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Post by SabrinaM on Oct 10, 2014 22:44:39 GMT
I think you need to have a serious discussion and renegotiate the situation with your husband.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Oct 11, 2014 0:43:37 GMT
We both always had our own accounts when we were married.. accounts from before.. and we had joint accounts. Neither kept a lot of money in them but they were are fun/gift funds.
I would just say I am going to open an account to keep some fun money in.
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Post by txdancermom on Oct 11, 2014 1:58:08 GMT
dh and I have separate checking accounts, but technically both are joint, I manage both accounts, and when we have had one of the accounts compromised, it helped to have another account to use.
I get a certain amount of cash each payday when I deposit my check. I use it for lunch money, etc, and if I don't use it I put it aside for a "rainy day" and it has come in handy - once was literally a rainy day - we were stuck in DC during Super Storm Sandy and needed cash, and my leftover cash came in very handy.
at first dh didn't know I did it, but after the DC trip, he knows, but he doesn't ask for the money
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Post by gar on Oct 11, 2014 7:51:55 GMT
Even a tight fiscal ship should include some 'fun money' for each of you. I agree. As important as financial security and clearing debts is, life can be a bit dull and resentment can build if you never have a little fun - and fun often costs. I know there are fun things to do that don't cost anything but if your 'fun' is scrapping/motorbikes or whatever...you're going to need a little cash and actually I think that's healthy.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,798
Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Oct 11, 2014 12:45:37 GMT
I don't but sometimes I wish I did when I want something very frivolous. I even try to stash cash but always end up needing it. My mom on the other hand has a secret account with $30k in it. I think it started out when my dad was a terrible alcoholic years ago. She's 78 now & homebound I am not sure what she's hoarding it for now. I wish she'd use it for people to help her with laundry & errands since I live 3 hours away. If you feel like you need a little stash then why not.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,596
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Oct 11, 2014 14:12:45 GMT
I don't have a secret account. But I do have a "$5 Jar". Saw the idea on Pinterest. Basically, every time you have a $5 bill, you put it in the jar. It really adds up. i usually wait until December to splurge but I just used it to buy the puppy.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,958
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Oct 11, 2014 15:26:30 GMT
The only time I had a secret account was when my first husband and I were about to get divorced. I put some bonus money in there.
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