scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,757
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Aug 16, 2019 1:37:07 GMT
Elaine, i am so sorry you have to face these realities. I wish all the power of the Peas could help is some way, but all we can offer is our support and love. You will be in my thoughts throughout the day and in my prayers.
We all missed you while you were away and will be here when you need a hug.
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Post by peasapie on Aug 16, 2019 1:42:20 GMT
I’m trying right now to imagine the challenges you must face each and every day and I know I can’t even come close to understanding. My heart goes out to you.
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 16, 2019 1:44:29 GMT
I’m sorry Elaine.
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Post by peano on Aug 16, 2019 1:47:55 GMT
Previous Peas have said it more eloquently than I ever could, but I am so sorry about your situation and hope that you can someday find some peace.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,530
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Aug 16, 2019 1:48:40 GMT
Thank you for a huge dose of reality and perspective.
I wish you all the best tomorrow and I send you love and support.
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scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,306
Jun 26, 2014 19:30:06 GMT
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Post by scrappinghappy on Aug 16, 2019 1:53:38 GMT
So sorry Elaine. Cannot imagine your struggles. It sure puts life into perspective.
Are there any camps he can go to for a few days so you and your hubby have a chance to recharge?
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,814
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Aug 16, 2019 1:54:25 GMT
Big hugs, Elaine. As a fellow special needs mom I totally understand. My sons are not violent, but they will need support into adulthood. Sometimes I wake up at night and get so worried about their future. Its one of those things people don't understand unless they are in our shoes.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 16, 2019 1:55:10 GMT
Hugs Elaine. I don’t have words to help, I wish I did.
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 16, 2019 1:59:53 GMT
I’m so sorry
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 16:32:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2019 2:00:33 GMT
Wishing you and your family continued strength elaine and hoping that more gov't funding will be made available to help families care for their loved ones.
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TheOtherMeg
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,541
Jun 25, 2014 20:58:14 GMT
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Post by TheOtherMeg on Aug 16, 2019 2:01:24 GMT
I'm so sorry you have so much to endure, elaine. I hope tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible. (((Elaine)))
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Post by Bobomommy on Aug 16, 2019 2:04:24 GMT
Elaine, I admire you for being such a loving mom to your son. I cannot imagine the heartache you feel when he hurts you. In spite of your own struggles you have blessed me and other teacher peas with your generosity. There is definitely a special place in Heaven for you! Keep loving that young man and I’ll be praying for you tomorrow.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 16, 2019 2:04:28 GMT
If anyone deserves a break it's you. Life has been so challenging. No matter what you have a right to be safe from harm. How do you feel about a group home? You're very dedicated to your boys, but you are not an island. How I wish there was an easy answer.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.😘
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tuesdaysgone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,832
Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Aug 16, 2019 2:05:26 GMT
I'm so sorry. Know you can always come here for love and support.
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Post by jenjie on Aug 16, 2019 2:10:03 GMT
I’m so sorry honey. ❤️
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Post by annie on Aug 16, 2019 2:10:25 GMT
Big ((hugs))! One of my best friends is in a very similar boat with her autistic son. And this is not how she envisioned her life. I know very few people can truly understand. It is heartbreaking. Thinking of you!
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Post by shescrafty on Aug 16, 2019 2:10:34 GMT
You have always shown such grace and love in light of the struggles you face. I wish there was a way to make it better and give you some peace. I’m sorry.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 16, 2019 2:15:03 GMT
Elaine I am so sorry.
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
Posts: 5,500
Jun 26, 2014 21:55:15 GMT
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Post by jayfab on Aug 16, 2019 2:19:15 GMT
I'm so sorry, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
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Post by SockMonkey on Aug 16, 2019 2:21:09 GMT
This is so much to handle.
I don’t know what to do except to send you a lot of good thoughts & hugs. I’m sorry.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 16, 2019 2:24:03 GMT
Hugs.
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hutchfan
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,035
Jul 6, 2016 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by hutchfan on Aug 16, 2019 2:24:33 GMT
I am thinking of you, saying prayers and sending hugs.
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Post by MichyM on Aug 16, 2019 2:26:46 GMT
I'm so sorry Elaine. I hope sometime in the future, hopefully not too terribly far away, there is more peace in your life. You deserve it.
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Post by quinlove on Aug 16, 2019 2:35:24 GMT
Elaine, I really hope that you can feel all the love that we Peas are sending to you. 💚
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Post by elaine on Aug 16, 2019 2:37:33 GMT
Oh Elaine - I'm so sorry. Hugs to you and DH, I cannot begin to imagine your daily struggles. Thank you. Your well wishes mean a lot to me. ((Hugs)) Elaine. I wish I could say something that would help. I’m thinking of you. Thanks, Merge. I know you are in my corner. I'm so sorry, Elaine. Nathaniel, my youngest, is two. He's in a violent stage right now. Last week he hit and kicked and scratched me every day, for large parts of the day. I came to tears over it multiple times. What came to my mind often is how you had endured this on such a bigger scale for such a prolonged amount of time, and how you had done it with so much grace and patience, even at your most desperate. So I guess what I'm saying is, thank you for sharing your story with us. It was a source of strength for me last week. But, I'm sorry it's so hard and I wish you could trade the impact your story is having on others for the peace and "normal" that so many of us take for granted. Hugs to you. Jenn, I admire you so much for choosing to adopt a challenged child. You are a saint in my eyes, especially because you chose to walk Christ’s path and serve a child in need. Thank you.
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Post by elaine on Aug 16, 2019 2:43:35 GMT
I hear you and I'm sorry. Thank you, because it does make a difference to be heard. I don't know what to say, Elaine. I know you must feel so many things, especially today. I am sorry it's so hard. Thank you. Sweetie I am so sorry you are having to live with this. Are you okay? Physically, at least as I am sure your heart is hurting. I was a case worker for an MHMR group home where one of our residents moved in with us for this exact reason. Well, the violence against his mother was the reason, though his IQ was below 70. He loved her to death and it killed her to move him in with us. Just a very sad situation all around. I hope you have good resources at your disposal and a wonderful support group and wish I was closer so I could help give you a break, I know it is mentally and physically exhausting. Yes, I’m okay. Not great, but okay. He gave me a black eye last week, but it is better. We are considering a group home, and may end up there, but when he hears us talk about it he begs not to be sent away. After living at an inpatient facility for 3 months earlier this year, he knows what that means and pleads for that not to happen again. But, he can’t control himself and I can’t be hit at home much longer. So, we may end up placing him in a group home. We now have in home ABA therapy 3 days per week, and I’m giving it until the end of the year before we make the tough decision.
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marianne
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys. . . My monkeys fly!
Posts: 4,176
Location: right smack dab in the middle of SC
Site Supporter
Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Aug 16, 2019 2:46:21 GMT
I have no words of comfort or wisdom that could ever adquately express my sorrow for you and your family, Elaine. I hope that somehow, knowing that others care, brings you some semblance of relief. I continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts. I wish you peace.
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Post by elaine on Aug 16, 2019 2:52:27 GMT
Thanks! Have you ever looked into a group home?? He sounds so much like a friend's son (her son is now in his 40's). She found him the perfect group home. Yes there was and is a lot of guilt but she was able to be safe and he has done very well. C. was as violent as your son. YOU deserve to be safe and happy... Thank you for your support! We have and are continuing to look at group homes, especially since we finally were awarded a Medicaid Waiver after being on the VA waiting list for 7 years. It took my cancer for us to finally get a slot. Right now it pays for our 1 school night per week of respite care at McLean Bible Church, but would also cover a group home. The challenge is that he literally begs us not to move him out of the house again and it is. so. hard. when your child, who is functionally a kindergartener, begs to live with you. I'm sorry Elaine. I know people joke about never wanting their kids to leave, but the reality is that there are indeed some kids who never leave. I have a friend who has saved every penny she could, because not only will her life as a mom never end, but she also has to save for a life after her death for her son. She's making plans, plans that change every couple of years, that no parent should have to make. ((Hugs)) to your friend. We are somewhat lucky that we have a Medicaid Waiver for him now which will cover some costs (it took my cancer to finally secure us a spot) for his life as long he stays in VA. We also have some family members who have been contributing to a special needs trust for him and my other son who also lives with us and has Autism but is high functioning. If your friend ever need a sounding board, pm me and I’ll give you my email to share.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 16, 2019 2:55:37 GMT
You are someone I wish I was near in life so I could walk this with you. Sit with you and listen. Cry with you. Help out in any way I could. You deserve a break and some peace, and I'd love to figure out how to make that happen for you. Hugs, girl.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Aug 16, 2019 2:57:26 GMT
I am so sorry Elaine. I can't imagine the struggle.
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