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Post by Merge on Aug 18, 2019 0:19:47 GMT
I feel like it’s really not that uncommon in the South. I live a few hours from you. I have never met anyone who makes their children, much less a twelve year old, dress in theme every time they leave the house. Do you still make them all drop trou before entering when you come home?
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Post by dewryce on Aug 18, 2019 0:24:05 GMT
I can’t wait to read the tell-all book her kids write in 20 years. I actually broached the subject with the thought of them in my mind. I have *serious* control issues and I see how much of a negative impact that can sometimes have on my life and those around me. To be clear, I like control and believe very much in doing what makes me happy by being proactive and prepared for as much as I can...even when it seems excessive to others. It brings a sense of peace to me so I do my anal retentive things I need to do with no guilt. But I have noticed, especially recently, how I do not handle the unexpected nearly as well as I used to, it can really throw me for a loop. My inflexibility can be really mentally unhealthy and it is just getting worse as I get older. I appreciate it when, and even ask for those close to me to point out my distorted thinking as it happens so that I can get their insight and then do my self-talk and make the needed changes to my thought processes. It’s an ongoing process and I couldn’t do it without outside help.
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Post by gar on Aug 18, 2019 0:25:56 GMT
I have to fancy wearing an outfit so planning ahead isn’t my cup of tea even though I can see it might save time in a busy life. I have to see what I fancy wearing that day - I can’t imagine planning far ahead at all. myshelly - do you change your mind some days? I’m guessing you live where the weather is pretty predictable- mine would probably be unsuitable for the day’s weather 7 times out of 10! And then there’s also the issue of whole family coordinating. If my family leaves the house together, then we coordinate, with the boys in themed clothes that match the activity and me in colors that coordinate with their outfits. So, for example, there’s a big Monet exhibit here. The boys had button down dress shirts made out of a water lily fabric and I wore coordinating pastels. You can’t just change that at the spur of the moment. Or if we’re going to the theatre the boys will have bow ties made with the logo of the show on them and I’ll dress in coordinating colors. If we’re going to the science museum they’ll have science shirts, natural history museum dino fossil shirts, lego exhibit LEGO shirts, etc. Or if someone is having a party you dress in the theme of the party. Like last weekend my niece had a Sleeping Beauty birthday party so I wore Maleficent leggings and my boys wore dragon maleficent outfits. That makes up a large percentage of our dressing. Ok, you’re yanking our chains...you just have to be. Game over.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,782
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Aug 18, 2019 0:26:31 GMT
I live in the South... and only moms of really small girls all dress to match... the rest of us heathens just wear whats clean... lol You always amuse me myshelly.. at least there is that
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Post by dewryce on Aug 18, 2019 0:29:01 GMT
I feel like it’s really not that uncommon in the South. Occasionally coordinating outfits is not as uncommon in the South as it is elsewhere, I will give you that. I say this gently, it’s not the coordinated outfits for photos that is the issue here. But you obviously don’t see the need for change and aren’t getting anything from this conversation so I am backing off. I was truly just trying to help.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 9:37:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2019 0:30:00 GMT
I plan out my clothes ( for workdays) a few weeks ahead by jotting dates and outfits down in a notebook. If I have time I also put the shirts/ tops in order on the closet bar. The benefits are getting ready faster in the morning and also I realize the clothes I need to get rid of or replace...also helps me realize which clothes I don't like much anymore. I feel free to swap days based on mood or weather. It has greatly simplified my what to wear to work angst.
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Post by dewryce on Aug 18, 2019 0:35:01 GMT
I live in the South... and only moms of really small girls all dress to match... the rest of us heathens just wear whats clean... lol You always amuse me myshelly .. at least there is that Wait. It has to be clean? Oops. I’ll be honest and admit that last week I wore a shirt I purchased specifically to match DH’s triathlon kit for his half Ironman race to support him. And tomorrow I will wear the same blue as my brother for his Special Olympics. And when we dress up nicely I do give a quick thought to whether our clothes look nice together or at least don’t clash. Beyond that, my goal is making sure DH’s underwear isn’t showing and he’s not wearing powder blue with red
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,158
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Aug 18, 2019 0:50:23 GMT
Well, you can you just don’t want to. Which is entirely valid, but I think it’s healthy to recognize the difference. Theme dressing makes you happy, so yay have a blast with it! But, and I say this as someone with similar issues, sometimes things don’t work out the way we plan them and that needs to be okay too. I personally don’t believe that and that’s ok, too. My oldest is 12 can I can honestly say in 12 years nothing has not worked out the way I planned it 🤷🏻♀️ I call myself a "recovering control freak." Although my husband and I used to joke about both of us being anal and compulsive about some things, I can honestly say I was never as over the top as you seem to be. I learned, through life experiences, that control is really often only an illusion. And if you are inflexible and can’t cope with the unplanned curves life throws at you, you will break in a major way. Some day life will throw you a curve ball, big or small, and you will find yourself not able to have everything as planned. All of us are one split second away from a life-altering event at any given moment. I have to wonder how you will cope when it happens to you. And, yeah, a 12-year-old having to dress like yours does? Wow! At some point at least one of your boys may decide he doesn’t want to match everyone else, and wants to dress to his own taste. Can’t wait to see how you handle that.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 18, 2019 0:54:10 GMT
I feel like it’s really not that uncommon in the South. I live a few hours from you. I have never met anyone who makes their children, much less a twelve year old, dress in theme every time they leave the house. Do you still make them all drop trou before entering when you come home? The 12 yr old actually gets upset if he doesn’t have a special outfit when we go somewhere 🤷🏻♀️ If he complained about it, I’d have to rethink, but he gets nothing but compliments and loves it. For example, when we’re at shows and we stage door, they always get a TON of attention from the actors and they love that. The actors often ask to take pictures of them and with them. They’ve been on the Instagram accounts of Broadway theatres, actors, and National Tours.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 18, 2019 0:59:46 GMT
And then there’s also the issue of whole family coordinating. If my family leaves the house together, then we coordinate, with the boys in themed clothes that match the activity and me in colors that coordinate with their outfits. So, for example, there’s a big Monet exhibit here. The boys had button down dress shirts made out of a water lily fabric and I wore coordinating pastels. You can’t just change that at the spur of the moment. Or if we’re going to the theatre the boys will have bow ties made with the logo of the show on them and I’ll dress in coordinating colors. If we’re going to the science museum they’ll have science shirts, natural history museum dino fossil shirts, lego exhibit LEGO shirts, etc. Or if someone is having a party you dress in the theme of the party. Like last weekend my niece had a Sleeping Beauty birthday party so I wore Maleficent leggings and my boys wore dragon maleficent outfits. That makes up a large percentage of our dressing. Ok, you’re yanking our chains...you just have to be. Game over. 100% serious. We’re going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the opera house this week. The boys each have a candy tie (same color scheme, but different candies on each because I couldn’t really find a good reproducible, recognizable logo for the show), purple shirts (the same shade as Wonka’s coat), and I have a purple dress.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 9:37:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2019 1:04:56 GMT
Well, you can you just don’t want to. Which is entirely valid, but I think it’s healthy to recognize the difference. Theme dressing makes you happy, so yay have a blast with it! But, and I say this as someone with similar issues, sometimes things don’t work out the way we plan them and that needs to be okay too. I personally don’t believe that and that’s ok, too. My oldest is 12 can I can honestly say in 12 years nothing has not worked out the way I planned it 🤷🏻♀️ I think you'll find out pretty soon that it won't be that way in the not too distant future!
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Post by myshelly on Aug 18, 2019 1:10:04 GMT
I personally don’t believe that and that’s ok, too. My oldest is 12 can I can honestly say in 12 years nothing has not worked out the way I planned it 🤷🏻♀️ I think you'll find out pretty soon that it won't be that way in the not too distant future! Maybe, maybe not. Why worry about it now?
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861
Jul 30, 2017 3:38:57 GMT
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Post by muggins on Aug 18, 2019 1:20:09 GMT
I think you'll find out pretty soon that it won't be that way in the not too distant future! Maybe, maybe not. Why worry about it now? Sounds like your kids are happy to wear whatever you choose and that’s great. I’m happy if my DS13 is showered and wearing clean clothes! As far as planning outfits to coordinate, do you buy the event tickets, then immediately start shopping for coordinating outfits or do you have an extensive closet to choose from? What about the items like bow ties with logos or themed fabric? Do you make them or buy them from Etsy or something? Does your DH participate? Does he have any input or is he happy to let you choose?
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 18, 2019 1:23:16 GMT
I know I'm something of a wild child, but I'm trying to imagine my mom picking out my clothes at twelve and how that would have gone down.
I don't plan. The closest I get it moving my spring and summer clothes close to the door and moving my winter clothes close to the door during the right seasons. With that said, I live in Michigan so the weather is a bit unpredictable. Fall and spring are a real crapshoot.
I usually think about what I will wear during my shower. That said, I don't have a lot of clothing. My weight fluctuates so I donate and buy things pretty regularly. Plus, I tend to buy something and love it and then tire of it. I shake things up a lot especially dresses.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,725
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Aug 18, 2019 1:32:49 GMT
This is just one more example of why I don’t think myshelly is a real person. I mean c’mon.
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Post by busy on Aug 18, 2019 1:48:08 GMT
Working in education in Texas must pay way better than I've been led to believe.
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Post by mustlovecats on Aug 18, 2019 2:06:32 GMT
In my house, prepping clothes means washing them and sorting them and putting them in each person’s basket. I am lucky if I get this far some weeks, this thread makes me feel like I am missing a gene of some kind. Accessories in mesh bags.. bras and underwear on a hanger with the outfit (I have exactly one color and style of underwear).... coordinating manicures... matching family outfits... water lily print button down shirts for the Monet exhibit??? I definitely did not take the class where they taught y’all this, and I am also from the south.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 18, 2019 2:27:59 GMT
I personally don’t believe that and that’s ok, too. My oldest is 12 can I can honestly say in 12 years nothing has not worked out the way I planned it 🤷🏻♀️ I think you'll find out pretty soon that it won't be that way in the not too distant future! I wonder about that. She home schools and probably controls every facet of his life. He probably has no idea that his home life is so beyond normal. If/when he leaves the nest he will either get tons of piercings and dye his hair blue or live next door to mommy and have her continue to cut the crust off his bread for life.
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Post by dewryce on Aug 18, 2019 2:36:03 GMT
In my house, prepping clothes means washing them and sorting them and putting them in each person’s basket. I am lucky if I get this far some weeks, this thread makes me feel like I am missing a gene of some kind. Accessories in mesh bags.. bras and underwear on a hanger with the outfit (I have exactly one color and style of underwear).... coordinating manicures... matching family outfits... water lily print button down shirts for the Monet exhibit??? I definitely did not take the class where they taught y’all this, and I am also from the south. To be fair, if I don’t do this he will wear the underwear with the bright red logo all around the band and every time he bends over to help his patients (you know, about 50 times a day) that will shine like a beacon to the entire rehab department Okay, in all honesty if I were working and/or styling outfits I would so snag that mesh bag for jewelry idea. That is pure genius. Oh, maybe when I am gathering my outfits for our next vacation! As it stands my big decision for tomorrow is hair in a bun or hair in a ponytail?
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Aug 18, 2019 2:36:57 GMT
I think you'll find out pretty soon that it won't be that way in the not too distant future! I wonder about that. She home schools and probably controls every facet of his life. He probably has no idea that his home life is so beyond normal. If/when he leaves the nest he will either get tons of piercings and dye his hair blue or live next door to mommy and have her continue to cut the crust off his bread for life. I always thought Myshelly was a SAHM and her husband was a teacher. But then the other day I am pretty sure she said she was a lawyer? Or am I confused?
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,481
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Aug 18, 2019 2:49:47 GMT
I started doing the Get Your Pretty On challenges last fall. I had the easiest time planning what I would wear for work. I would just look at the outfit calendar the day before and pick one. I had a couple coworkers who were also doing the challenges, so we decided we wouldn't follow the calendar since we didn't want to show up wearing basically the same outfit. I can only think of one time where I was dressed very similar to one of them on the same day. They didn't do the spring challenge, so I'm guessing they might not do this fall. If they don't, I think I'm going to follow the calendar as much as possible.
I just pull out my outfit the night before and hang it on the hook on my bedroom door. I'll place items like socks, underwear, and jewelry on my dresser. I don't really plan too many days in advance. If I'm ever not sure about what to wear, I have the option to grab one of my school shirts and call it a uniform day. I did not do that very often last year.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 18, 2019 3:08:18 GMT
Maybe, maybe not. Why worry about it now? Sounds like your kids are happy to wear whatever you choose and that’s great. I’m happy if my DS13 is showered and wearing clean clothes! As far as planning outfits to coordinate, do you buy the event tickets, then immediately start shopping for coordinating outfits or do you have an extensive closet to choose from? What about the items like bow ties with logos or themed fabric? Do you make them or buy them from Etsy or something? Does your DH participate? Does he have any input or is he happy to let you choose? We go to a lot of theatre, so as soon as the venues close to us release their show schedules I start shopping because I know we’ll get tickets to everything. Same with museums - as soon as any museum in Texas or Oklahoma announces a major exhibition I start shopping. Some things I make myself. I have access to wholesale vinyl and fabric, lots of cutting and printing programs, and a commercial heat press. I also know how to sew and make jewelry. I have several vendors I’ve worked with for years on Etsy and they will make custom items for me if I send them artwork or a logo. My DH participates. He is colorblind, hates picking his own clothes, and is happiest when I just lay something out for him and he doesn’t have to think about it. Now that we have been doing this for 12 years I do have a lot to choose from/work with. So, for example, we’ve see. Hamilton four times. We have two sets of Hamilton outfits and have worn them each twice. The second time we saw the Phillip cast the Schuyler sisters remembered my kids’ names because they were in the same ties, so that was cool. We’ll be ready to go when we see it again. We go to lots of Harry Potter events, so we have that covered now.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 18, 2019 3:09:21 GMT
I wonder about that. She home schools and probably controls every facet of his life. He probably has no idea that his home life is so beyond normal. If/when he leaves the nest he will either get tons of piercings and dye his hair blue or live next door to mommy and have her continue to cut the crust off his bread for life. I always thought Myshelly was a SAHM and her husband was a teacher. But then the other day I am pretty sure she said she was a lawyer? Or am I confused? I went to law school, passed the Bar exam, and practiced for a couple of years. I quit when I had kids to be a SAHM. My husband is a teacher.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 18, 2019 3:12:13 GMT
I think you'll find out pretty soon that it won't be that way in the not too distant future! I wonder about that. She home schools and probably controls every facet of his life. He probably has no idea that his home life is so beyond normal. If/when he leaves the nest he will either get tons of piercings and dye his hair blue or live next door to mommy and have her continue to cut the crust off his bread for life. They’ve had green hair before, does that count? They all have white blonde hair, so it’s pretty easy to dye. Their lives are definitely not normal 😄 They’re growing up in theatres and museums, seeing shows on Broadway, traveling all over, and going to the beach with their friends for a Not Back to School Celebration Trip while everyone else is stuck in a classroom. And I’m ridiculously proud of that.
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861
Jul 30, 2017 3:38:57 GMT
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Post by muggins on Aug 18, 2019 3:44:56 GMT
myshelly thanks for the explanation. I love theatre and just spent two years living just outside London so we saw lots of shows. DS has just become Interested in acting so he’s enjoyed the shows we’ve seen. Unfortunately for me he’s growing out of the dressing up stage - one of my favourite things to do was researching and making their Halloween costumes. Now he’s happy in a Harry Potter onesie!! Perhaps I’ll volunteer to help with costumes for the local theatre company.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 9:37:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2019 8:56:34 GMT
I wonder about that. She home schools and probably controls every facet of his life. He probably has no idea that his home life is so beyond normal. If/when he leaves the nest he will either get tons of piercings and dye his hair blue or live next door to mommy and have her continue to cut the crust off his bread for life. They’ve had green hair before, does that count? They all have white blonde hair, so it’s pretty easy to dye. Their lives are definitely not normal 😄 They’re growing up in theatres and museums, seeing shows on Broadway, traveling all over, and going to the beach with their friends for a Not Back to School Celebration Trip while everyone else is stuck in a classroom. And I’m ridiculously proud of that. " Normal" people do these things too (except the beach day when they should be at school) Some of us manage to do all the others and attend school,others manage to do so and home school. it's not impossible to give them a well rounded education without controlling so much of their everyday lives and expect them to be constantly compliant with what " Mum" says. That isn't the way to bring up well adjusted children to be confident in the decisions they make in later life. Part of growing up is guide them to learn to make decision on their own including teaching them how to dress appropriately for different events and that does not include " fancy dress" You need to let go of the apron strings. They won't thank you for it later.
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Post by gar on Aug 18, 2019 9:04:37 GMT
If/when he leaves the nest he will either get tons of piercings and dye his hair blue or live next door to mommy and have her continue to cut the crust off his bread for life. Don't forget no one is permitted to move away. The whole family lives within a very short distance of each other.
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joelise
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,649
Jul 1, 2014 6:33:14 GMT
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Post by joelise on Aug 18, 2019 9:20:05 GMT
Sounds like your kids are happy to wear whatever you choose and that’s great. I’m happy if my DS13 is showered and wearing clean clothes! As far as planning outfits to coordinate, do you buy the event tickets, then immediately start shopping for coordinating outfits or do you have an extensive closet to choose from? What about the items like bow ties with logos or themed fabric? Do you make them or buy them from Etsy or something? Does your DH participate? Does he have any input or is he happy to let you choose? We go to a lot of theatre, so as soon as the venues close to us release their show schedules I start shopping because I know we’ll get tickets to everything. Same with museums - as soon as any museum in Texas or Oklahoma announces a major exhibition I start shopping. Some things I make myself. I have access to wholesale vinyl and fabric, lots of cutting and printing programs, and a commercial heat press. I also know how to sew and make jewelry. I have several vendors I’ve worked with for years on Etsy and they will make custom items for me if I send them artwork or a logo. My DH participates. He is colorblind, hates picking his own clothes, and is happiest when I just lay something out for him and he doesn’t have to think about it. Now that we have been doing this for 12 years I do have a lot to choose from/work with. So, for example, we’ve see. Hamilton four times. We have two sets of Hamilton outfits and have worn them each twice. The second time we saw the Phillip cast the Schuyler sisters remembered my kids’ names because they were in the same ties, so that was cool. We’ll be ready to go when we see it again. We go to lots of Harry Potter events, so we have that covered now. You’ve got me intrigued! I’d love to see some of your photos.
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 18, 2019 10:30:05 GMT
I feel like it’s really not that uncommon in the South. Occasionally coordinating outfits is not as uncommon in the South as it is elsewhere, I will give you that. I say this gently, it’s not the coordinated outfits for photos that is the issue here. But you obviously don’t see the need for change and aren’t getting anything from this conversation so I am backing off. I was truly just trying to help. Don't you think that perhaps myshelly is having some fun with this thread?
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Deleted
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Mar 28, 2024 9:37:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2019 10:51:46 GMT
Occasionally coordinating outfits is not as uncommon in the South as it is elsewhere, I will give you that. I say this gently, it’s not the coordinated outfits for photos that is the issue here. But you obviously don’t see the need for change and aren’t getting anything from this conversation so I am backing off. I was truly just trying to help. Don't you think that perhaps myshelly is having some fun with this thread? I'm hoping that is the case but there again I've read some other really strange things on here in my time that has made me got " WHAT? ? ? REALLY ? ? ?"
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