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Post by auntkelly on Aug 23, 2019 23:02:49 GMT
I think it's weird to ask shower guests to bring food. Unless it was a no host shower like a work shower or a church shower, I'd probably skip it. (Although the evil side of me would be tempted to show up w/ a bag from McDonald's and as I was unwrapping my egg McMuffin, look around and say "you mean I was supposed to bring food for everyone? I thought this was a bring your own finger food shower.")
If it was a no host pot luck shower, I'd probably make my homemade pimento cheese tortilla roll ups.
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kate
Drama Llama
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Aug 23, 2019 23:23:31 GMT
When my best friend got married years ago (like 30), I had made her a set of thank you cards for one of her showers. As people dropped off gifts, I put a sticky note on the inside of the envelope with name of gift and I wrote the address of the person on the outside of the envelope. They were all pre stamped and she loved not having to do anything more than write a thank you card and lick the envelope. It was a wedding shower and she had more than 30 thank yous to write for just one shower. That is really sweet of you! And I don't think that's tacky at all - you're a thoughtful friend. What I find tacky is asking the giver of the gift to fill out their own thank-you envelope. And lesserknownpea, if I'm close with the host and/or the honoree, I will ask if I can bring something or help with the shower - and if I offer, I don't mind being taken up on it.  |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 23, 2019 23:50:56 GMT
So I guess no one likes showers? My sister and sisters-in-law are hosting one for my DD, and this is making me feel like maybe we should skip it. We’re providing brunch, no book as a card, no games, no raffles. However, the stores she is registered at were included on the invitations, but apparently this is annoying? I get that everyone is busy and some of them are over the top, but all of the showers I have been to have had very appreciative honorees. I feel like we’re just annoying everyone. Showers are fine, and I apologize if I upset you by my snarky post. Most people don't mind attending showers and bringing a gift. It is a little unusual to also be asked to bring food. |
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Post by curiouscrafter on Aug 24, 2019 0:24:33 GMT
Asking all the guests to bring food is ridiculous. Games? Eh. One or two can be cute, but my tolerance wears thin after that. Registries are fine IMO, though I know etiquette gurus disagree. I just don't like being ORDERED to give something specific (e.g. "Gift cards only, please!" or the like). Providing addresses - ummm, if you sent me an invitation, then you have my address. I wouldn't mind signing a guestbook that included addresses, though. But writing out the envelope for my own thank-you card? No. Please enjoy your DD's shower! It sounds like it will be lovely. The Peas just love a good pile-on of all the tacky shower/wedding things - I don't think yours will qualify.  When my best friend got married years ago (like 30), I had made her a set of thank you cards for one of her showers. As people dropped off gifts, I put a sticky note on the inside of the envelope with name of gift and I wrote the address of the person on the outside of the envelope. They were all pre stamped and she loved not having to do anything more than write a thank you card and lick the envelope. It was a wedding shower and she had more than 30 thank yous to write for just one shower. URGH! That's another thing I can't stand - walking in the door and having to fill out my Thank You envelope - how about I just write the thing as well. If the Bride/New Mother can't take a bit of time to thank all her guests for 1) spending 2-3 hours at the shower 2) spending time shopping for a gift 3) wrapping said gift after buying the paper/ribbon, and a card - then the bride/new mother should get a big fat etiquette book as a gift. And don't anyone tell me that she didn't plan it - she has a say! and that is one thing I would make clear: HOST: hey, I want to throw you a shower! ME: Awh! You're so sweet. Thank you! One thing: No pre-wrote thank you envelopes, I will do them all myself as I'm very thankful for the attention I'm getting and the love that is coming my way! Rant over (again)...I keep coming back to this thread!!! |
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Post by femalebusiness on Aug 24, 2019 2:03:43 GMT
So I guess no one likes showers? My sister and sisters-in-law are hosting one for my DD, and this is making me feel like maybe we should skip it. We’re providing brunch, no book as a card, no games, no raffles. However, the stores she is registered at were included on the invitations, but apparently this is annoying? I get that everyone is busy and some of them are over the top, but all of the showers I have been to have had very appreciative honorees. I feel like we’re just annoying everyone. I love showers. I think that most of the comments were about doing all the shower activities AND being asked to bring the food too. It is asking the guests to bring food in addition to a gift that is tacky, imo. Making a dish that tastes and looks good enough to bring to a shower is an imposition and would make the event less enjoyable for me. If the hosts can’t afford a big spread, as a guest I would prefer to only have a slice of cake and some iced tea as refreshment, rather than being asked to make and bring a dish. Eta: I love buying off of registries! I’d much rather buy the couple/mother what they/she wants. Yes, whatever happened to a slice of cake and a cup of coffee and chatting with friends while watching the gifts being opened? |
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Post by t2x on Aug 24, 2019 3:22:45 GMT
I think it's weird to ask shower guests to bring food. Unless it was a no host shower like a work shower or a church shower, I'd probably skip it. (Although the evil side of me would be tempted to show up w/ a bag from McDonald's and as I was unwrapping my egg McMuffin, look around and say "you mean I was supposed to bring food for everyone? I thought this was a bring your own finger food shower.") If it was a no host pot luck shower, I'd probably make my homemade pimento cheese tortilla roll ups. You must be my evil twin! And now I need that recipe, please!  |
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 24, 2019 10:49:35 GMT
I hate being asked to bring food to other people’s parties. Bah, humbug. Honestly I feel the same way. I mean, I am bringing a gift and you want me to bring food too?!?!?! Add me to this list. |
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Post by msdintz on Aug 24, 2019 14:11:17 GMT
Agree on the food, one of the biggest arguments I’ve ever had with my in laws revolves around my belief that if some one was throwing a “house warming party” they should provide food for their guests. NOT expect/ brow beat people into bringing a dish/ own booze/ what have you AND a gift ! I skipped the gathering.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 24, 2019 14:19:17 GMT
Asking all the guests to bring food is ridiculous. Games? Eh. One or two can be cute, but my tolerance wears thin after that. Registries are fine IMO, though I know etiquette gurus disagree. I just don't like being ORDERED to give something specific (e.g. "Gift cards only, please!" or the like). Providing addresses - ummm, if you sent me an invitation, then you have my address. I wouldn't mind signing a guestbook that included addresses, though. But writing out the envelope for my own thank-you card? No. Please enjoy your DD's shower! It sounds like it will be lovely. The Peas just love a good pile-on of all the tacky shower/wedding things - I don't think yours will qualify. When my best friend got married years ago (like 30), I had made her a set of thank you cards for one of her showers. As people dropped off gifts, I put a sticky note on the inside of the envelope with name of gift and I wrote the address of the person on the outside of the envelope. They were all pre stamped and she loved not having to do anything more than write a thank you card and lick the envelope. It was a wedding shower and she had more than 30 thank yous to write for just one shower. that was nice of you, but I feel if I spent the time and money to shop for your shower and also showed up and spent at least an hour or two, you can at least write three lines on the outside of an envelope and a little thank you inside. |
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 24, 2019 14:22:12 GMT
Just another perspective. In the circles I run in, it is common for people to bring food to a shower. When someone is invited, the first words out of their mouths are “ what can I bring?” It is rare for the host to want nothing brought by others. Some hosts have a theme, and list off items and the guest chooses one. If someone doesn’t want/can’t bring something. No one minds. Most are happy to, though. Celebrating and enjoying each other’s company are the highlight of these gatherings. Sharing food with each other is a joy. You hear comments like, “who made these deviled eggs? I want the recipe”. While the gifts are generous, some can spend much less than others. Some make homemade. Some guests do not bring a gift at all, but are very welcomed to enjoy the company. Reading threads like these reminds me to be thankful for the community I’ve taken for granted. For family or IF I offered I'm okay with it. For a friend's Dd or someone who I am not bffs with? Tacky |
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Post by katiejane on Aug 24, 2019 14:24:50 GMT
Pretty much the norm in my circle. Everyone bring a dish and we share. I don't get the strong negative feelings.
As for finger food, mini quiche, salami wrapped breadsticks, cheese and onion pastry rolls, cherry tomato and mozzarella kebabs.
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Post by christine58 on Aug 24, 2019 14:25:42 GMT
Being asked to bring food is over the top, but there were also comments about games, buying a gift from a registry, providing addresses, etc. It makes me feel like we shouldn’t have a shower for DD. This is more about my guilt. Oh stop....guilt?? WHY?? Most people hate games but if you want to do them--go ahead. As far as having those invited address their thank you envelopes--that's where I draw the line. Talk about laziness. Now when we've had bridal/baby showers, many times people will OFFER to bring food. But being told by the host, yeah no. Have the shower... |
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 24, 2019 14:28:08 GMT
Pretty much the norm in my circle. Everyone bring a dish and we share. I don't get the strong negative feelings. As for finger food, mini quiche, salami wrapped breadsticks, cheese and onion pastry rolls, cherry tomato and mozzarella kebabs. maybe it is my age. Any shower I will be going to will be a friend's child or one of my children's friends. |
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 24, 2019 15:45:46 GMT
When my best friend got married years ago (like 30), I had made her a set of thank you cards for one of her showers. As people dropped off gifts, I put a sticky note on the inside of the envelope with name of gift and I wrote the address of the person on the outside of the envelope. They were all pre stamped and she loved not having to do anything more than write a thank you card and lick the envelope. It was a wedding shower and she had more than 30 thank yous to write for just one shower. that was nice of you, but I feel if I spent the time and money to shop for your shower and also showed up and spent at least an hour or two, you can at least write three lines on the outside of an envelope and a little thank you inside. She was my best friend and I had already gone through the process the year prior and knew it would be helpful. I can be very left brained and this was one of those times. It was also long before computer evites and I knew the addresses of the attendees since I sent them. |
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 24, 2019 15:52:26 GMT
Agree on the food, one of the biggest arguments I’ve ever had with my in laws revolves around my belief that if some one was throwing a “house warming party” they should provide food for their guests. NOT expect/ brow beat people into bringing a dish/ own booze/ what have you AND a gift ! I skipped the gathering. Maybe it's regional or age (or whatever), but I agree with you 100%. If you are throwing a party, throw the party. Don't ask or expect others to help. Now if family or close friends offer, then it is a different ballgame. But make guests feel like guests. If I get invited to something that is going to be big (like a shower), I don't offer to bring food. I figure they planned for the shower and have it covered. I do have a good friend that often hosts dinners that lives out in "the forest" who will call me before I leave and ask if I could bring a bag of ice or two. I can easily do that. |
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 24, 2019 17:27:03 GMT
Asking all the guests to bring food is ridiculous. Games? Eh. One or two can be cute, but my tolerance wears thin after that. Registries are fine IMO, though I know etiquette gurus disagree. I just don't like being ORDERED to give something specific (e.g. "Gift cards only, please!" or the like). Providing addresses - ummm, if you sent me an invitation, then you have my address. I wouldn't mind signing a guestbook that included addresses, though. But writing out the envelope for my own thank-you card? No. Please enjoy your DD's shower! It sounds like it will be lovely. The Peas just love a good pile-on of all the tacky shower/wedding things - I don't think yours will qualify. When my best friend got married years ago (like 30), I had made her a set of thank you cards for one of her showers. As people dropped off gifts, I put a sticky note on the inside of the envelope with name of gift and I wrote the address of the person on the outside of the envelope. They were all pre stamped and she loved not having to do anything more than write a thank you card and lick the envelope. It was a wedding shower and she had more than 30 thank yous to write for just one shower. does this mean you asked each person their address as they handed over their gift? |
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 24, 2019 17:28:26 GMT
And I guess I’m in the tiny minority - I wouldn’t mind being asked to bring something - seems like if everyone brought food though you’d have a ridiculous amount of food!
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,190
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Post by gina on Aug 24, 2019 19:58:09 GMT
A platter of wrapped Italian bakery cookies. lol No offense but, I am not cooking or prepping food for your party. Ridiculous.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
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Post by mallie on Aug 24, 2019 20:11:33 GMT
IF I brought anything, it would be store bought. And honestly, these days, that is all I will eat a potlucks.
Too many times where people got sick from potluck food (in part due to refusal/failure to disclose hidden ingredients) has put me off of them for life.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 24, 2019 22:34:34 GMT
When my best friend got married years ago (like 30), I had made her a set of thank you cards for one of her showers. As people dropped off gifts, I put a sticky note on the inside of the envelope with name of gift and I wrote the address of the person on the outside of the envelope. They were all pre stamped and she loved not having to do anything more than write a thank you card and lick the envelope. It was a wedding shower and she had more than 30 thank yous to write for just one shower. does this mean you asked each person their address as they handed over their gift? No, in the 80's we had a wedding address book. It was used for recording all kinds of crap from guests for invitations to showers, the wedding etc. . I just wrote the envelopes as they dropped off the gift in the pile. I don't think anyone knew I did it except for they might have noticed the handwriting was slightly different from the bride's. She was a bot more of a loopy handwritten than I was. |
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