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Post by tyra on Sept 12, 2019 13:02:13 GMT
DH is in law enforcement. Last night they had a call about a potentially suicidal young woman. They pinged her phone, it was in the forest preserve. They found her phone, her backpack, an empty bottle of lighter fluid and a package of lighters. They found her about 50 yards away, completely burnt but still alive, and actively burning. She literally set herself on fire. She was flown to a local hospital, burns over 97% of her body. My heart is broken for her and for her family. I can not imagine. DH is completely shaken. He struggled a lot when he got home last night, over night, and this morning. He has seen some stuff. But this about broke him
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,109
Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on Sept 12, 2019 13:06:38 GMT
OMG...this is horrific. I am so sorry for everyone involved. I hope your DH is able to reach out for help dealing with this. (((hugs)))
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Sept 12, 2019 13:11:26 GMT
That sounds absolutely awful, I'm so sorry your dh had to witness that. Does the department provide a helpline or someone he can talk to? I imagine he's not the first person who has experienced these emotions after responding to calls like this.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,030
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Sept 12, 2019 13:11:40 GMT
Oh how awful. Bless the young woman, her family and friends, and the first responders and medical personnel. So many ripples out into the world from tragedy.
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Julie W
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,209
Jun 27, 2014 22:11:06 GMT
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Post by Julie W on Sept 12, 2019 13:12:54 GMT
So sorry he had to deal with that!
My sister is a 911 dispatcher and there are things they are involved in, which are heartbreaking!
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Post by tyra on Sept 12, 2019 13:16:51 GMT
That sounds absolutely awful, I'm so sorry your dh had to witness that. Does the department provide a helpline or someone he can talk to? I imagine he's not the first person who has experienced these emotions after responding to calls like this. They do... just getting DH to go talk to them. Many times after a traumatic event the officers are mandated to go speak to them before going on duty again. I haven't heard if that is the case this time.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 12, 2019 13:18:30 GMT
Prayers all around, for him, for that poor woman.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to experience something like that. I'm sure he's traumatized. I hope the department will provide a counselor he can speak with. I think that might be helpful. Until then, hug him and tell him how brave we all think he is.
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 12, 2019 13:19:13 GMT
I am so sorry. I know our first responders of all kinds deal with some truly awful things. Give him a hug from the Peas.
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Post by pierkiss on Sept 12, 2019 13:30:38 GMT
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry that he had to see that. And that she felt that was the only solution. Heartbreaking.
I don’t have any other advice other than to be there for him. Listen to him, let him cry and rage, and get it all out. Or, if he would prefer, do a google search for therapists in your area who have a background in working with LEOs and other 1st responders/military.
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Post by auntkelly on Sept 12, 2019 13:35:07 GMT
I cannot imagine. Thank God for people like your husband who are willing to do the things that the rest of us cannot even imagine having to do.
I will say prayers for your husband and that poor young woman and her family.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 20, 2024 9:27:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2019 13:42:27 GMT
How awful and extremely sad that someone would do this to herself. I’m sure anyone seeing that would be traumatized and I hope he speaks to someone soon to help him process and move past this.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 12, 2019 13:42:49 GMT
That sounds absolutely awful, I'm so sorry your dh had to witness that. Does the department provide a helpline or someone he can talk to? I imagine he's not the first person who has experienced these emotions after responding to calls like this. They do... just getting DH to go talk to them. Many times after a traumatic event the officers are mandated to go speak to them before going on duty again. I haven't heard if that is the case this time. Please tell him to go even you have to stress that it is for YOU and your children. NOT 'debriefing' is major issues for LE, EMS, FF and medical staff, they NEED it with the things they see and are involved in!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 20, 2024 9:27:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2019 13:50:00 GMT
I am so sorry for her, for your DH and for you.
Tell him that a pea thanks him for his service and is grateful for his tender heart.
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Sept 12, 2019 13:53:01 GMT
Holy cow! What a horrible thing for him and his fellow responders. Prayers for all of them and for the woman and her family. Please tell him your friends are surrounding him with gentle hugs and hopes that they can all get some debriefing.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,724
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Sept 12, 2019 13:57:02 GMT
That's beyond awful. Hugs to him, and to you, and to her family. I kind of hope the poor girl doesn't survive because with 97% burns, the physical and emotional pain she has to face will be a gazillion times worse than anything she has had to go through so far.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 20, 2024 9:27:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2019 13:57:38 GMT
What a horrific thing for anyone to have to see. Many prayers to LE and the girl + family.
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Post by workingclassdog on Sept 12, 2019 13:59:26 GMT
OMG that is horrific.. I can't even imagine.. prayers for your DH and that he can shake it off or talk to someone... Prayers for her family as well.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Sept 12, 2019 13:59:37 GMT
I am so sorry.
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Post by KikiPea on Sept 12, 2019 14:02:18 GMT
Oh man. How horrific! Prayers that he is able to talk through this with someone.
Praying for the woman and her family.
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Post by tyra on Sept 12, 2019 14:12:12 GMT
That's beyond awful. Hugs to him, and to you, and to her family. I kind of hope the poor girl doesn't survive because with 97% burns, the physical and emotional pain she has to face will be a gazillion times worse than anything she has had to go through so far. As of last night she wasn't expected to make it. I didn't hear this morning her status, but I agree with you. I can't imagine.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,166
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Sept 12, 2019 14:13:52 GMT
I can’t even begin to imagine how traumatic that must have been. For his sake and all of the family, he needs to see the counselor. It’s okay to tell him that. No human being could be immune to the effects of that experience.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 12, 2019 14:35:52 GMT
That is beyond awful. Just heartbreaking.
You’re not in the Bay Area, are you? I know a doctor (ETA psychologist) who specializes in working with police and fire personnel and their families.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,580
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 12, 2019 14:37:21 GMT
I know a lot of LEOs don't want to see therapists, especially the ones in their own agencies, because they worry it'll be reported and they'll be taken off the line of duty. He should pursue it anyway. He could very well have PTSD from this and that's not something that just goes away. He's experienced a traumatic event and needs help before it permeates into other spheres of his life. If he really doesn't want to see one as part of his department, see if you can find a therapist who has PTSD as a specialty. Often psychologists who also practice at VA hospitals are well versed in the treatment of PTSD and can help. Good luck to him - how awful. And I'm so sorry for this girl and her family.
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Post by tyra on Sept 12, 2019 14:37:27 GMT
That is beyond awful. Just heartbreaking. You’re not in the Bay Area, are you? I know a doctor who specializes in working with police and fire personnel and their families. No, unfortunately we aren't. I don't want to give too many details, including location, since it hasn't been released yet, and out of respect for her and her family. But thank you so much for thinking of that. It would have been a great idea.
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Post by malibou on Sept 12, 2019 14:52:20 GMT
Oh dear, what an awful situation for everyone involved. I will certainly keep your dh in my thoughts as he works thru this tragedy. Wishing her family all of the comfort and peace they can hold.
When I was a teen my friend caught on fire. Another friend and I knocked her to the ground and covered her with our coats and rolled her about to put it out. She was burned over 90% of her body. The smell from it was beyond awful. Every once in awhile I will smell something similar, and every time it happens I burst into tears as the whole thing instantly plays thru my head. You might want to warn your dh about that.
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Amy
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Jun 26, 2014 2:19:40 GMT
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Post by Amy on Sept 12, 2019 15:14:36 GMT
That is beyond awful. Just heartbreaking. You’re not in the Bay Area, are you? I know a doctor who specializes in working with police and fire personnel and their families. No, unfortunately we aren't. I don't want to give too many details, including location, since it hasn't been released yet, and out of respect for her and her family. But thank you so much for thinking of that. It would have been a great idea. Understandable - not sure if you realize that but the location is listed in your signature, might want to edit it out.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 12, 2019 15:22:20 GMT
When they glamorize police work on television they forget that officers see people at their absolute worst and in the most desperate situations. These brave men and women dedicate their lives to handling so many traumatic situations. May your dh find comfort and peace. I hope that psychological services are available to the officers at that scene.
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Post by tyra on Sept 12, 2019 15:24:38 GMT
No, unfortunately we aren't. I don't want to give too many details, including location, since it hasn't been released yet, and out of respect for her and her family. But thank you so much for thinking of that. It would have been a great idea. Understandable - not sure if you realize that but the location is listed in your signature, might want to edit it out. That's ok, DH works many towns over from where we live.
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Post by Horse scrap on Sept 12, 2019 15:26:24 GMT
Does his department have a Peer Support team? If so, if there is someone he trusts on the team, encourage him to reach out. Please remember it isn’t just what he saw. It’s what he heard (her screams/moans), smelled (an awful smell) and taste. He may flinch at burnt meat, the smell of burnt meat, any movies w/someone burning or with fire. Be gentle with him, encourage him but don’t force him to talk. Be aware of what is going on around him- at home, to sort of protect him. As an LEO wife, and civilian peer support team member at my dept, thank you for being aware and caring about your DH. God Bless him.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 12, 2019 15:29:54 GMT
I was on my phone when I first posted and couldn’t see your location. I would bet your DH’s agency has resources available to the officers, even if the officers themselves are reluctant to take advantage of them. Good luck to him.
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