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Post by mom on Sept 14, 2019 14:27:11 GMT
We received an invitation to a friends adult daughter's bday. She's turning 25. While we know her parents well & vacation together, we really don't know the daughter. The party is at a lake house (so not at a restaurant). If I am honest, I think this 'birthday party' is going to be where she gets engaged, based on what her mom has said.
I assume we should give her money and a card. How much $$ is the going rate for an adult birthday? (I honestly have no clue as almost all the parties we go to like this will say something about 'no gifts'.
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 14, 2019 14:28:34 GMT
A card and maybe a gc to something if you know what they like. Otherwise, we don't typically gift at adult parties.
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Post by mom on Sept 14, 2019 14:30:35 GMT
A card and maybe a gc to something if you know what they like. Otherwise, we don't typically gift at adult parties.You're probably right. I'm overthinking this. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2019 14:34:50 GMT
$20 is good.
Have fun at the party.
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Post by mrssmith on Sept 14, 2019 14:42:55 GMT
I'd do a card and a $25 GC if she's turning 25.
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joelise
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Post by joelise on Sept 14, 2019 14:45:01 GMT
I would either take a lovey flower arrangement or a bottle of champagne. I wouldn’t give money.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 14, 2019 14:58:18 GMT
A card and maybe a gc to something if you know what they like. Otherwise, we don't typically gift at adult parties. Same here. But I haven’t ever been invited to a friend’s grown kid’s birthday party, so there’s that. |
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Sept 14, 2019 15:04:42 GMT
We would do a g/c if we knew the girl at all. Maybe $25-40 depending. If we didn’t know the girl at all I’d bring a bottle of wine.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Sept 14, 2019 15:08:04 GMT
We're "a bottle of wine" people.
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PrettyInPeank
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Sept 14, 2019 15:13:44 GMT
The idea of adults getting gifts at birthday parties throws me off honestly. A bunch of friends/couples and I went out to celebrate my 30th, and people brought gifts. I wasn’t expecting it. I felt really weird opening actual gifts, like I was 7. So I’d do a simple card and gift card to a restaurant to at least give something.
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 14, 2019 15:59:22 GMT
If I knew the girl from when she was a child, I might give a gift card. Otherwise, I’d just give her a card. If it’s not her house, I wouldn’t give flowers, which is my go-to cheap gift.
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Post by littlemama on Sept 14, 2019 16:11:40 GMT
Just a card.
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 14, 2019 16:17:10 GMT
Make a cute arrangement of 25 $1 bills! There are tons of cute/simple ideas online. If you have a heat press, you can press them super flat. Or get new ones at the bank.
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 14, 2019 16:20:21 GMT
In a situation like that I wouldn’t bring a birthday gift though I’d bring a bottle of wine for the host.
I think giving an adult money or a gift card is a little odd honestly.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Sept 14, 2019 16:26:21 GMT
If I didn't know the Daughter, I wouldn't feel obligated to attend.
If I do attend something where I don't know the guest of honor well, I always give a token gift(I would never attend without a small gift).
For instance, a few month ago I was invited to high school friend's husband milestone birthday, lots of high friends in attendance so I went to catch up with them. I gave guest of honor a $15 gift card for ice cream shop, since I know they like ice cream.
If I am unsure of someone's favorite store or restaurant, then I usually give a general gift card (Walmart, Target, ice cream shop, Chili's, etc..).
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Post by mom on Sept 14, 2019 16:28:20 GMT
If I didn't know the Daughter, I wouldn't feel obligated to attend.
If I do attend something where I don't know the guest of honor well, I always give a token gift(I would never attend without a small gift). For instance, a few month ago I was invited to high school friend's husband milestone birthday, lots of high friends in attendance so I went to catch up with them. I gave guest of honor a $15 gift card for ice cream shop, since I know they like ice cream. If I am unsure of someone's favorite store or restaurant, then I usually give a general gift card (Walmart, Target, ice cream shop, Chili's, etc..). I would *love* to not attend, but thats not an option. We have to go as they are coming with us to an A&M game next weekend. They would take it personally if we didnt show up. |
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Post by mom on Sept 14, 2019 16:29:12 GMT
In a situation like that I wouldn’t bring a birthday gift though I’d bring a bottle of wine for the host. I think giving an adult money or a gift card is a little odd honestly.I agree completely & was surprised they include something on the invite about not bringing anything. |
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Post by mom on Sept 14, 2019 16:31:09 GMT
The idea of adults getting gifts at birthday parties throws me off honestly. A bunch of friends/couples and I went out to celebrate my 30th, and people brought gifts. I wasn’t expecting it. I felt really weird opening actual gifts, like I was 7. So I’d do a simple card and gift card to a restaurant to at least give something. I agree. I seriously dont want anyone buying me anything for my birthday. ESPECIALLY if I have to open it immediately, right in front of them. |
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gina
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Post by gina on Sept 14, 2019 16:35:38 GMT
No cash. A bottle of wine nicely wrapped.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2019 16:47:30 GMT
I’d bring wine for the host, but I wouldn’t gift it to the birthday girl unless you are sure she drinks wine. I would play it safe and do a $25 GC.
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Post by Blind Squirrel on Sept 14, 2019 17:00:09 GMT
For those of you who gift a bottle of wine; what is the average cost of the kind you give? I am not a wine person, so I'm just curious.
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pancakes
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Post by pancakes on Sept 14, 2019 17:21:33 GMT
As someone who is close to that girl’s age, I get so. much. alcohol as presents, and I’m not a fan, as a lot of the bottles are not something I would ever consider drinking. I often end up bringing it to parties, putting it out at parties, or regifting to younger friends/family who drink anything.
I think it’s very common to only:
- Give a card with nothing in it
- Give nothing
- Give a card with a small $20- $30 present, ideally a useful gift card.
Only my very close friends get me anything, and even they don’t spend much. You’re at an age where you can buy whatever you want, for the most part. A gift is just something small to show you know the person well or are thinking of them.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Sept 15, 2019 3:42:41 GMT
$25 lotto tickets would be fun!
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Post by pierkiss on Sept 15, 2019 3:55:26 GMT
Wine. Or Champaign. Or some other kind of house-warming type gifts not money.
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Why
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Post by Why on Sept 15, 2019 4:29:32 GMT
I know too many people that have substance abuse problems to give wine when I don't know if it is appropriate.
I would give a $25 GC.
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Post by kiera on Sept 15, 2019 5:05:39 GMT
I wouldn't give wine or any alcohol at all unless you were 100% certain she would want it. A lot of people don't drink, or enjoy wine! I think a gift card would be fine, maybe one of those dinner and a movie packs or even just an Amazon card or prepaid Visa or something like that.
It's also interesting to see that a lot of people here think it's strange to give an adult a gift for their birthday, because I'm turning 28 soon and my friends and I definitely still give each other a little gift. It's usually a gift card, but sometimes we'll give something else (a scarf, tshirt, silly socks, something that made us think of the person when we saw it) as just a little "happy birthday, I want to help you celebrate" gesture. I don't think I've spent more than $25-30 though.
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Post by busy on Sept 15, 2019 5:16:01 GMT
We're "a bottle of wine" people. Same. We don’t really do adult birthday gifts beyond our closest friends and immediate family. For everyone saying no alcohol, it seems to me that if OP is good enough friends with the parents that they vacation together, she would likely know if the daughter had a substance abuse issue. |
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Sept 15, 2019 7:55:53 GMT
I wouldn't give wine or any alcohol at all unless you were 100% certain she would want it. A lot of people don't drink, or enjoy wine! I think a gift card would be fine, maybe one of those dinner and a movie packs or even just an Amazon card or prepaid Visa or something like that. It's also interesting to see that a lot of people here think it's strange to give an adult a gift for their birthday, because I'm turning 28 soon and my friends and I definitely still give each other a little gift. It's usually a gift card, but sometimes we'll give something else (a scarf, tshirt, silly socks, something that made us think of the person when we saw it) as just a little "happy birthday, I want to help you celebrate" gesture. I don't think I've spent more than $25-30 though. This. also, I'm going to be 49 in October. I wouldn't say I can afford to buy myself whatever I want even now. I certainly couldn't at 25. I would likely get her a $25 Starbucks card. |
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peaname
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Post by peaname on Sept 15, 2019 10:59:50 GMT
Ugh. I’d bring a bottle of wine and tuck a card with $25 in my purse just in case they do some crazy kid party gift opening and you feel put on the spot. I wouldn’t even write her name on it or seal the envelope so I could reuse it.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Sept 15, 2019 15:11:06 GMT
We're "a bottle of wine" people. Same. We don’t really do adult birthday gifts beyond our closest friends and immediate family. For everyone saying no alcohol, it seems to me that if OP is good enough friends with the parents that they vacation together, she would likely know if the daughter had a substance abuse issue. Eh, for me, it's more a matter of I generally don't drink--just not my thing--and I never drink wine because it gives me a headache, so I cannot think of a more useless gift for me to receive, so I would never recommend it as a generic go-to gift for someone you don't know. And I doubt that my father's good friends, with whom he travels to Canada, have any idea about my alcohol preferences. |
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