luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421 
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Post by luvnlifelady on Oct 13, 2019 22:43:40 GMT
She is 22 and babysat for a new family with an 18 mo boy. She figures the dad is in his late 30’s.
Anyway, the dad earlier in the night had asked her how old she was and after finding out said, “you can have a beer after he goes to bed.” Then, he was the first one to get home from his night out at a party (the mom was working) and overpaid DD by $25 (should’ve been $55 and he paid her $80).
After that he said to DD, “should we hug it out?”
This had her spidey senses going but she then thinks she might be overeacting. What do you think? She likes the family but not sure she will go back.
I think he overstepped as is her employer and should’ve been trying to make her feel comfortable.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Oct 13, 2019 22:47:37 GMT
She should not go back.
Every sense in me tells me he is either trying to set her up in some sense, like saying she drank and came on to him, or overpaying her and making her feel obligated to give him a little something something in return. and asking for a hug?!
Just no.
She doesnt need to make excuses or be polite. No is a complete answer.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
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Post by rickmer on Oct 13, 2019 22:50:02 GMT
uh no. she doe not need to be available next time they need a sitter.
big overstep. we need to teach our daughters to listen to that voice that say "if it doesn't feel right, i can step back".
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,822
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Post by CeeScraps on Oct 13, 2019 22:50:57 GMT
She doesn’t go back!
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,899
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Post by pilcas on Oct 13, 2019 22:52:21 GMT
She needs to listen to her instincts. Nothing about anything he did is appropriate for all the reasons listed above.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Oct 13, 2019 22:53:29 GMT
I would encourage her NOT to go back!!!
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,658
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Oct 13, 2019 23:01:23 GMT
You don't drink when you are on a job. The fact that he thought that was ok would be all I need to know. Don't go back.
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Post by candleangie on Oct 13, 2019 23:03:36 GMT
Her spidey senses are very smart. He’s a creeper.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Oct 13, 2019 23:17:14 GMT
NO.
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Post by wickedwonder on Oct 13, 2019 23:19:58 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them.
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Post by myshelly on Oct 13, 2019 23:20:21 GMT
Teach her to trust her gut.
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Post by Skellinton on Oct 13, 2019 23:27:20 GMT
That should be a hard no on going back.
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Post by busy on Oct 13, 2019 23:32:59 GMT
Until the "hug it out" part, I was neutral. But with that, I think it's best she not go back.
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Post by jemmls4 on Oct 13, 2019 23:35:46 GMT
This is a “hell to the no” situation.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,390
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Oct 13, 2019 23:37:06 GMT
She shouldn’t go back. And only she can decide how she felt, and if it was inappropriate. So hopefully no one tries to tell her she overreacted.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 19, 2024 23:55:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2019 23:42:03 GMT
I can’t imagine a pet sitter being encouraged to drink, let alone a babysitter! This guy is a creep and she should never go back. He was testing her to see how far she’d go. Returning may give him the impression that she doesn’t have a problem with his behavior and he might just be bold enough to get physical the next time.
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Post by LisaDV on Oct 13, 2019 23:50:32 GMT
Nope. Don’t go back
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,503
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Oct 13, 2019 23:51:52 GMT
I can’t imagine a pet sitter being encouraged to drink, let alone a babysitter! This guy is a creep and she should never go back. He was testing her to see how far she’d go. Returning may give him the impression that she doesn’t have a problem with his behavior and he might just be bold enough to get physical the next time. I agree, he was "testing the waters" when he asked her to hug it out. There's no way she should go back there again. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 19, 2024 23:55:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2019 0:06:43 GMT
If she really like the mother and her charge you could make the suggestion that she babysit at her/your home. Otherwise its not a good situation and its just asking for trouble all the way around.
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Post by gillyp on Oct 14, 2019 0:15:05 GMT
This is a “hell to the no” situation. This. From this side of the pond too, that is a big come on. If she were my daughter I'd be telling her not to go back in any circumstances. |
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Post by stormsts on Oct 14, 2019 0:24:49 GMT
Absolutely not go back.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
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Post by basketdiva on Oct 14, 2019 0:28:25 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them. Exactly. I would think at her age, with all the MeToo stories, she would know what he did is inappropriate. She is not over thinking the situation. |
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,819
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Oct 14, 2019 0:48:00 GMT
Some things are so common sense it’s surprising you even post about them. Exactly. I would think at her age, with all the MeToo stories, she would know what he did is inappropriate. She is not over thinking the situation. See you quote and say exactly... and Im thinking which pea created an alter just to be condescending... I do think spidey senses mean something but i dont know why this is a "you shouldn't have posted" thing |
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Post by pierkiss on Oct 14, 2019 0:55:16 GMT
She should not babysit for them again.
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Post by maryland on Oct 14, 2019 0:56:01 GMT
You don't drink when you are on a job. The fact that he thought that was ok would be all I need to know. Don't go back. You are right. I would not have invited our babysitter to drink while he or she was watching our daughters.
We teacher our sons and daughters to follow their instincts, and it doesn't sound like this would be a good situation for her to be in. I don't think she was overreacting at all. She sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders!
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Oct 14, 2019 1:14:07 GMT
I had a lot of parents show me where to find a beer or a wine cooler to drink even when I was under 19. Been over paid too. The "hug it out" would of been the only thing to set off my spidey senses I wouldn't go back either
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Post by wickedwonder on Oct 14, 2019 1:20:35 GMT
Exactly. I would think at her age, with all the MeToo stories, she would know what he did is inappropriate. She is not over thinking the situation. See you quote and say exactly... and Im thinking which pea created an alter just to be condescending... I do think spidey senses mean something but i dont know why this is a "you shouldn't have posted" thing Long time lurker, recent signup, first time poster; but if you expect condescension I’ll just say that, based on what I’ve read here, op will do the opposite of what the group suggests. Cheers |
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Post by misadventurous on Oct 14, 2019 1:28:12 GMT
I had a lot of parents show me where to find a beer or a wine cooler to drink even when I was under 19. Been over paid too. The "hug it out" would of been the only thing to set off my spidey senses I wouldn't go back either WT F?? Who ARE these people?? Do I just live in some bizarre fantasy world? I can't imagine in a million years any parent I know doing that. "Here, underage person alone in my house with my child, have some booze!!" I can't even... And no, obviously she should never, ever go back. She can just say she's now too busy to sit. So sorry. She shouldn't refer anyone else to them, either. If she really like the mother and her charge you could make the suggestion that she babysit at her/your home. Otherwise its not a good situation and its just asking for trouble all the way around. Yeah, hard pass on that one as well. Creeper will magically find a reason to be the one who needs to pick up the kid. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 14, 2019 1:35:15 GMT
If it was my kid, I would tell her definitely don’t go back. There are plenty of other babysitting, heck ANY other jobs out there if she needs work. These days no one in their right mind would tell the babysitter to go ahead and have a beer after the kid is in bed knowing the sitter will have to drive herself home. Then the whole hug it out thing? That’s a huge, HUGE red flag that this guy is a creeper and totally crossing the line. There is no way I’d work for those people again not anytime or anywhere. In fact, I would almost be inclined to privately tell the mom what he did, and let her know that’s why I wouldn’t be back.
I babysat for dozens of families in my day and never once did a dad ever offer to hug me. I would have been way to creeped out to ever go back.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
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Post by basketdiva on Oct 14, 2019 1:43:17 GMT
Exactly. I would think at her age, with all the MeToo stories, she would know what he did is inappropriate. She is not over thinking the situation. See you quote and say exactly... and Im thinking which pea created an alter just to be condescending... I do think spidey senses mean something but i dont know why this is a "you shouldn't have posted" thing I did not make up a new name- that poster just happened to post what I was thinking. Common sense says if you feel u comfortable in a situation, you get away from it as soon as possible and don’t go back. |
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