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Post by shevy on Dec 11, 2019 22:46:21 GMT
Is it always a bragging event?
I mean, I crafted with some ladies regularly when I was scrapping/cardmaking, but mostly at home. I have been out of the "group of ladies" events for quite some time. Motorcycling women don't seem to have similar situations from what I've seen.
I joined a new group of local women to crochet/knit to get me out of the house. I've gone a few weeks and sat next to someone different each time. And yet, I've always sat by someone or someones who have spent the whole gathering bragging about their works, their children, their jobs, their families, their vehicles, their grown children's childhoods, their home, their RV, their cabin up north.....
I told my husband I don't know if I can stand it anymore.
Is it just these ladies or am I doomed to have sore ears if I continue?
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Dec 11, 2019 22:52:04 GMT
Ick no. I get together with two different groups of women and in only one is there a bragger and we shut her down pretty quickly.
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Post by Merge on Dec 11, 2019 22:58:29 GMT
I belong to a book club and also get together regularly with a group of teacher friends. I wouldn’t say there’s bragging, but we do update each other on what’s been going on in our lives and our kids’ lives. That’s what friends do. 🤷🏻♀️
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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 11, 2019 23:07:36 GMT
I belong to a book club and also get together regularly with a group of teacher friends. I wouldn’t say there’s bragging, but we do update each other on what’s been going on in our lives and our kids’ lives. That’s what friends do. 🤷🏻♀️ Same here. I have regular(ish) dinners with a group of girls from high school, and also my Mother's Group from when we all had our first babies 22 years ago. Nobody brags as such, we just update each other. Can I help it if my daughter is the most beautiful and successful of all the children? I'M KIDDING! I do remember that at one dinner, one of the girls was pissing me off about various things. The next time we were due to go out for dinner I told my bestie from the group that I just wasn't in the mood to deal with the other girl that night, and I didn't go.
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Post by quinlove on Dec 11, 2019 23:12:53 GMT
Similar, some of my co workers brag about their grown children a lot. It used to bother me, but I try real hard to change my attitude and just smile and slightly engage about it.
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Post by papersilly on Dec 11, 2019 23:13:27 GMT
no, my bunch of ladies love to out-do each other with light-hearted complaints about life. we know each other too well to know that bragging can easily be offset by the bad stuff we know about too.
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Post by Karene on Dec 11, 2019 23:13:40 GMT
I get together with a group of women. We used to all do home daycare and that's how we met. We would go to the drop in centre or the park in the summer and our daycare kids all knew each other. In fact, for many years they were my only friends.
Out of the seven of us, only one still does daycare. I see two regularly. All of us get together for supper just before Christmas and again before summer. Nobody brags but we all update each other on our children and what everyone is up to.
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Post by Jen in NCal on Dec 11, 2019 23:16:54 GMT
no, my bunch of ladies love to out-do each other with light-hearted complaints about life. we know each other too well to know that bragging can easily be offset by the bad stuff we know about too. My ladies and I call ourselves the Ya-Yas and there is no bragging. Just getting together to share new things in life and enjoy each other's company.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 11, 2019 23:19:51 GMT
Are you the only new one in the group? It can take time to find common ground and maybe what you hear as bragging is someone trying to find that common ground.
With my close girlfriends, we share the struggles our families might be going through but I'm not bringing that up with someone I don't know or trust to treat anything I say as confidential. Conversations we have now are very different from the superficial, only good news conversations we had in the early days. Throw a new person into the mix and things shift back down to superficial conversations.
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Post by MichyM on Dec 11, 2019 23:22:40 GMT
Yuck. You need to find new women to hang out with.
Besides a core group of about 8 women I do things with, I also run a small (65 member) meetup group of local women. Bragging is something that i really cannot remember happening in either group. I wonder if age may be a factor? I’m 58. The women I hang out with are generally in their early 50’s to late 60’s. Maybe we’ve grown out of it?
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DEX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,396
Aug 9, 2014 23:13:22 GMT
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Post by DEX on Dec 11, 2019 23:28:08 GMT
I used to belong to a small quilt group. I don't remember there was bragging as such. It was more about getting oooooos and ahhhhhhhs on your latest completed project or quilt. In that case, I think you deserve to brag.
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Post by disneypal on Dec 11, 2019 23:29:32 GMT
Yes - a couple of different ones 1) Former co-workers 2) Ladies from church They don't turn into bragging sessions with our group. We mostly just catch up with what has been going on with each other. Only one lady among my friends is crafty so sometimes she and I will show each other photos of what we've been working on but it is just to share (she mostly quilts, I mostly knit).
We do talk about work (especially with co-workers) but more just about projects and such we are working on (or talk about some of the guys we worked with). We discuss kids and family but not in a bragging kind of way, just letting others know what the kids are doing and how they are.
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Post by tracyarts on Dec 11, 2019 23:34:16 GMT
No, I go to a crochet and knitting group at the local library and there isn't any of that kind of behavior. Mostly just pleasant chit-chat or talking about local things.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,407
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Dec 11, 2019 23:48:08 GMT
I belong to a book club and also get together regularly with a group of teacher friends. I wouldn’t say there’s bragging, but we do update each other on what’s been going on in our lives and our kids’ lives. That’s what friends do. 🤷🏻♀️ This is what my scrapbook group does. No bragging.
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Post by peasapie on Dec 12, 2019 0:01:46 GMT
No bragging. Some are extra picky about some things (food, craft stuff) and that can get annoying, but I find it odd that people would be boasting about stuff amongst friends. Usually it's the opposite - my friends don't want to appear to be one-upping anyone so they won't even mention certain things.
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Post by peano on Dec 12, 2019 0:03:04 GMT
Not bragging so much, but what I consider over-involvement in their children's lives. I like a brief synopsis of what's going on in their children's lives, but then I want to move on to talk about adult concerns. I become bored when this doesn't happen. I have grown so weary of this, that I am actively seeking out people who have the capability for more intimate and deep relationships, and about ways of continuing to grow as we go on in this last segment of our lives.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,894
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Dec 12, 2019 0:19:24 GMT
No bragging in my group. We are all enjoying our lives in retirement. We get together at least once a month as a group. I get together with some of them individually depending on what’s going on.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Dec 12, 2019 0:36:30 GMT
I have one group that I can't stand - all bragging. I have two others that aren't - just lovely people and we all share our ups and downs.
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 12, 2019 0:39:48 GMT
I have a group of 6 friends from school that get together. We update, but no bragging or one-upping each other. That would get old in a hurry.
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Post by tentoes on Dec 12, 2019 0:44:27 GMT
I go to lunch with my church ladies once a month. It's a good time to catch up with them, and talk about what is going on in their families. We don't have that much time on Sunday morning just to talk with each other! We've been meeting once monthly for many many years--probably close to 20, and I enjoy it a lot. I also go to a bible study with another group that attends another church, and they go out to lunch once a month also, so I join them also. Other family members attend that church, so I enjoy that group also. I've been meeting with them for about 4 years now.
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Post by MalleyCat on Dec 12, 2019 0:57:32 GMT
I used to get together with a group of friends to scrap or get togethers for the Mom/Kid groups we were in. While I am very chatty when I get out, I am a total home body who would rather stay home with my family and cats.😊
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Post by pjaye on Dec 12, 2019 1:09:23 GMT
I'm a part of a relatively new book club, they had 2 meetings before I joined and we've had 4 meetings since. There's a core group of 4 of us and we are all 50ish and all have very different backgrounds, jobs etc, and we are still getting to know each other and we talk a bit about our lives, but there is no bragging at all.
There's a 5th lady who is a friend of one of the others who came one time and I think she might be a bragger - or maybe she felt out of place so she was trying to over compensate. I was making conversation & I asked her what she does and I got a big long story about all the different businesses she's owned, where they have lived, what her kids studied at university etc.
The last time we met was the time after that and she didn't show up but then sent a text to the one who is her friend about how she had a very big sale and was heading home with a bottle of champagne. OK then. No-one said much when that was read out but I don't think anyone will be too sad if she doesn't come again. The dynamic with the rest of us is really good and we have a What's App group and chat on that a bit now too.
I think sometimes when people are new to a group, or feel like they don't fit in or have low self esteem they use bragging as a way to cover up those feelings of insecurity...and because they want people to think they are smart/happy successful and therefore will like them. Unfortunately it often just has the opposite effect of putting others off.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Dec 12, 2019 1:18:36 GMT
In your case, is it maybe that each woman you've sat next to is merely catching you up to speed on her life? It's possible that they just have a lot that's good going on in their lives and so filling you in may sound like bragging. Or... maybe it really is just one-upmanship. It's hard to tell if one isn't there.
I work with a group of a people in a volunteer setting that can veer off into bragging easily -- especially with one or two of the women. Most of the rest of us just politely nod and "uh-huh" until we can turn the conversation elsewhere.
Luckily my closest friends are not this way. I travel with my closest group of friends several times a year. In fact, we're all sneaking away to Edisto Island next week for a few days. This is my 'keep it real' group of friends. We all know the good, bad, and ugly about each other.
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Post by hmp on Dec 12, 2019 1:33:31 GMT
My group has known each other since 1st grade. We know each other too well to even try that BS!
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,456
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Dec 12, 2019 1:43:12 GMT
I'm in a few different groups (some overlap) and no one is a braggart per se, just normal catching up stuff. But there is one person that does a one-up on me every.single.time. Drives me nuts!
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,641
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Dec 12, 2019 2:12:32 GMT
I play tennis with a group of women and we get together for lunch or dinner now and then. No bragging, and we vary in ages so the focus isn’t always on our children. There is one woman who is sort of an alpha personality and I do find that the attention is often on her when she’s around. But I think that’s normal for a lot of groups.
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Post by mom on Dec 12, 2019 2:18:10 GMT
I belong to a book club and also get together regularly with a group of teacher friends. I wouldn’t say there’s bragging, but we do update each other on what’s been going on in our lives and our kids’ lives. That’s what friends do. 🤷🏻♀️ This is my experience as well. Sure, we talk about whats going on with all of our kids, husbands, vacations, etc but it isn't bragging. Its just filling in the others on our life. shevy I wonder if you feel like its bragging because you are new and don't have the history to rely on about the others so they are trying to fill you in and catch you up?
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 12, 2019 2:24:31 GMT
No, I don’t feel like there is bragging. My main group of women all do competitive dog sports, so there could be a lot of bragging. But there isn’t, we share our training struggles as much as our competitive successes. We hike, bike, walk and do different activities together.
I don’t feel there is bragging in my scrapbooking group either.
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Post by elaine on Dec 12, 2019 2:28:08 GMT
I’ve belonged to a women’s bowling league for 7.5 years. And a group of us go out to lunch together each week after bowling. No braggarts. Lots of support.
When I came out of anesthesia from my mastectomy, 3 of my dear friends from bowling were there. One is retired Air Force, so got the three of them in to Walter Reed. The whole league sent out a sign up sheet and people signed up to bring my family home cooked meals in that first month. I will never be able to repay their kindness, goodness and selflessness.
You have been unlucky - not all women’s groups echo your experiences.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Dec 12, 2019 2:30:20 GMT
There are 4 of us who get together for dinner every 3 months or so. We've been doing this for 20 years. We all just chat - each of us as much as the other, bringing each other up on our lives.
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