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Post by 950nancy on Feb 17, 2020 21:24:14 GMT
I'm excited for this thread on so many different levels! My oldest DD got engaged last Saturday and bought her dress this Saturday!!! She is a mover and a shaker, unlike her mom. lol. I so need to clear things out, update the house, and get ready for a wedding. I shudder to think pictures being taken in our house today!! I do have Vietnam Vets doing a pickup tomorrow. We just redid one of our bedroom, painted, new floor. Moved a desk up there, and want to make it more of a den, and a place to write out bills, do paperwork and taxes. Currently those things are on our kitchen counters.... So much to do! Just need to jump in! Let's continue our decluttering sweet peas! What a great reason to be motivated! My son is now engaged to his gf of almost 10 years. They got engaged three months ago and no word yet on a wedding. She just got accepted to PA school, so it could be sooner or later.
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Deleted
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Mar 29, 2024 6:33:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2020 21:47:18 GMT
My mother just moved this weekend. I knew it was going to be bad, but didn't realize how bad until they filled up two moving trucks with her stuff and then the movers got to her new place (she was "downsizing") and they looked right at her and said, "There's no way this is all going to fit." So dealing with *that* just reaffirmed for me that I need to get rid of my stuff NOW - not in 30+ years. But the best part of it? My husband was with me and he finally "got" it. I've been trying to get him on board for years. Now he's ready to get rid of stuff too! Yea! Finally! I've been spending 15 minutes a day on it (a lot of the time more than 15 minutes a day) since December 1, but didn't feel like I was really getting anywhere. But now that I have a partner - I think this will go a lot easier. The other bonus is he's agreed nothing new comes IN the house unless we both agree on it. We're going to concentrate on things leaving - not coming in. Our son was away this weekend so we tackled organizing the toys last night. We didn't get rid of anything yet, but even walking into that room feels a whole lot better just because everything now has a place rather than just being piled everywhere. It will make end of the night clean up a lot easier too. We really need to hear the rest of story about your mom.
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Deleted
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Mar 29, 2024 6:33:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2020 3:07:04 GMT
I took 25 min today and went into each room in my house and grabbed 3 things that I never use and threw them in a bag. Dropped it off at Goodwill on my way to take DS to an activity. Yay!
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Post by paperaddict on Feb 18, 2020 6:28:59 GMT
My MIL passed away at the beginning of November 2019, and we spent this morning which was "Family Day" in Alberta, Canada, cleaning out her closets and donating her clothes and shoes to Goodwill. There were ALOT of stuff that it made me think about my clothes, shoes, and especially my crafting supplies. I need to go through them and get rid of supplies that I haven't used in at least a year. I need so need to declutter. Also to stop watching Jennifer McGuire videos too.
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Post by tc on Feb 18, 2020 15:53:30 GMT
We really need to hear the rest of story about your mom. The short version (yes, this is the short version) is that she just couldn't let anything go. And I mean anything. I'm talking cleaning appliances she hasn't used in 10 years and can't find the charging cords to. I'm talking napkins that she bought to celebrate New Year's - and you're thinking - well, that was six weeks ago - that's not so bad. Oh, no, New Year's 2000. I'm talking exploded batteries. I'm talking a 12 x 12 x 6 box of hose couplings for her indoor pool that she got rid of at least five years ago (her reaction: I might be able to use those for something!!!!). I'm talking used grout floats when she doesn't have any grout in her new townhome and she moved to the townhome so she doesn't have to do maintenance. She's known for almost a year that she was going to downsize. For comparison she went from an approximately 2,500 square foot home with a finished basement to a 1,000 square foot townhome (no basement). And she has been working at getting rid of stuff. Just not anywhere near enough. I think she got rid of a couple of large pieces and a few boxes of paperwork and thought that should do it. When I pulled out her cleaning products - it was like clowns from a clown car. Somehow she had them all stuffed in her mud room closet. They filled up the entirety of her kitchen counters, kitchen floor, kitchen table, and beyond when I started lining them all up. I told her to choose just the products she uses on a regular basis and that's all we were going to bring. She still ended up with a couple of shelves in her new place full of cleaning products. Anyway - moving day arrives. We did our best but just plain ran out of time in the weeks leading up to the move. And part of the problem was she was out of state for about 2.5 weeks up until 10 days before her move. She was of the mind of "let's move it and I'll sort it out later". Still refusing to get rid of anything. So they fill up two large moving trucks and we meet them over at the new place. And they walk in and all five of them - their eyes just grow really wide and they say - where are you going to put it all? At the end of the day her furniture was in place - a few pieces had to go back because the rooms are so much smaller - and her rooms at the townhome are filled to the brim with boxes. Her garage looks like a warehouse right now. It's rows of boxes with aisles down them and labels facing out and she is working on dismantling aisles one box at a time. Somehow she thought she could fit an outside lounger, two redwood with cushions chairs, an outside swing, two more large cushioned outside chairs, a grill, and an outside fireplace on a 6x8 patio slab. She's going to have to make some more hard choices. She has a walker and a manual wheelchair from when my father was sick (he died from ALS in 2005) and she doesn't want to get rid of them "just in case I need them someday". But she has absolutely no room to store things like that. She has closets full of clothes and shoes just for her. She went from a decent amount of wall space to next to nothing so her wall displays are just sitting around wrapped up because she doesn't have any space to put them up and can't bring herself to get rid of them. She doesn't need to go to the grocery store for probably a year - she moved her deep freeze packed full of food, a whole refrigerator full of food, and two pantries full of food. We can't get the pantry food to fit in the two upper cabinets she's designated for her non-cold food. She's parking her car outside right now and doesn't like it, but I just stare at her with a "What do you want me to do?" confused look when she brings it up. It's going to be months before she can park in the garage. She's supposed to be having an estate sale at the old place to get rid of the additional furniture. I don't think that's going to go down the way she thinks it will. And then, after that, she's supposed to get the house fixed up (nicks in walls, restretch carpets, etc.) and put it on the market. She was hoping her house would sell before she had to make an April house payment. I don't think she has any idea what the real time line is going to be like. Reading this it sounds like she's a hoarder. She's not. But she certainly has pack rat tendencies. She had me move an outside glass hanging globe that had fallen from the house about 7 years ago and was smashed. Her reaction: "It's still pretty and I can hang it up." She had me move the directories from the previous ten years for her old home's neighborhood association "In case I have to call someone." She had me move the "cookbook" entitled "How to Cook with a Microwave" from the VERY FIRST microwave she bought approximately 1982. Yeah, I guarantee you she's never cracking that thing open again. I just keep taking deep breaths and telling her we'll work on it one step at a time.
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Post by Linda on Feb 18, 2020 20:36:03 GMT
tc - sounds SO much like my mum except she was still living in her house when she passed in November. We (my sister and I) tossed and donated SO much stuff, I filled our Ford Flex twice and a large UHaul trailer once with stuff I brought back here (okay - half the trailer went to DS...mostly furniture for him). We have an estate sale scheduled for the 29th - they are using this week to stage for the sale - the house is STILL full...we gave 100s of boxes of books to the local library, truckloads of stuff to the local donation center, truckloads of stuff went to the dumpsters.... We're hoping to get the house on the market in early March ((((Hugs))))
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Post by tc on Feb 18, 2020 21:04:45 GMT
Linda I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, the household possessions situation sounds similar and I can sympathize with the frustration of dealing with your mother's stuff. My mother wouldn't let us get a dumpster or throw much out - she just kept repeating "I can still use that!". It's been....painful. But also eye opening in that we don't need this much stuff!. So hopefully going forward the lesson will help us lighten our own posessions load. I don't want to go minimalist, but I do want to rid our space of stuff that's just weighing us down. ETA: Best of luck with the estate sale. I hope it goes smoothly for you as well as the sale of the house.
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Post by Linda on Feb 18, 2020 21:35:56 GMT
Thank you tc - yes, mum didn't want to get rid of anything, she didn't really cook anymore (just readymade sandwiches/salads and microwave meals) but she wouldn't let us toss spices that were years out of date because they were expensive and she might need them. I'm definitely even MORE on the decluttering bandwagon now because I don't want to leave that mess to my children - it's hard because DH isn't really on board although he's a bit more so since helping with my mum's house.
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Deleted
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Mar 29, 2024 6:33:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2020 21:47:11 GMT
Thank you tc - yes, mum didn't want to get rid of anything, she didn't really cook anymore (just readymade sandwiches/salads and microwave meals) but she wouldn't let us toss spices that were years out of date because they were expensive and she might need them. I'm definitely even MORE on the decluttering bandwagon now because I don't want to leave that mess to my children - it's hard because DH isn't really on board although he's a bit more so since helping with my mum's house. When my dear Gram passed last year, I felt like the biggest heel cleaning out her kitchen. I threw away so much expired box food, old spices, old mixes, literally 2 pantries and nearly 8 cupboards full of this kind of stuff. She would have KILLED me. I kept thinking, I am going to turn around and she is going to be standing there with her hands on her hips going, "What the HELL are you doing to my kitchen???!!!" (gulp)
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Post by Linda on Feb 18, 2020 21:53:28 GMT
Thank you tc - yes, mum didn't want to get rid of anything, she didn't really cook anymore (just readymade sandwiches/salads and microwave meals) but she wouldn't let us toss spices that were years out of date because they were expensive and she might need them. I'm definitely even MORE on the decluttering bandwagon now because I don't want to leave that mess to my children - it's hard because DH isn't really on board although he's a bit more so since helping with my mum's house. When my dear Gram passed last year, I felt like the biggest heel cleaning out her kitchen. I threw away so much expired box food, old spices, old mixes, literally 2 pantries and nearly 8 cupboards full of this kind of stuff. She would have KILLED me. I kept thinking, I am going to turn around and she is going to be standing there with her hands on her hips going, "What the HELL are you doing to my kitchen???!!!" (gulp) ((((Hugs)))) mum would have been heartbroken that we tossed and donated (and will sell) so much of her stuff - it was all valuable and treasured by her...and some of it IS very nice, the estate sales guy was pretty excited by her collections from Europe - but even if my sister and I had wanted to keep more- neither of us have that kind of space. She always said she wasn't going to get rid of anything, she was going to sit on a cloud and watch us fight over who got what....there was no fighting, we both have different tastes and much of it wasn't to either of our tastes. I hope she's not sitting on a cloud watching - she would be sad, I think, and angry.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Feb 18, 2020 22:00:26 GMT
tc I know you might not want to hear this but reading your story and especially your mother's reactions, it does sound like she has a hoarding problem. There are different types of hoarders with different mindsets and different stuff they're hoarding (it's not all like shown in the reality TV shows). Hoarders have a far more difficult time to let go of things and hold on to more stuff than clutterers. I have a friend who is a social worker and recently asked me to help translate + adapt some of the worksheets in this awesome book by a fellow (Canadian) social worker, Conquer the Clutter. It's incredibly informative, both in helping to understand hoarding (and debunking quite a few myths about it) as well practical help to assist someone in this situation. Highly recommended. Your mother will likely take far more time downsizing than she anticipates considering her reactions so far. She will need help. I hope someone in your family can take the time to assist her in a way that is beneficial (again, from what I've seen, Birchall's book is great). Good luck to you, Linda and joblackford . It really is no easy task.
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Deleted
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Mar 29, 2024 6:33:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2020 22:00:29 GMT
there was no fighting, we both have different tastes and much of it wasn't to either of our tastes. I hear you there. My mom has all this stuff too, and I told her that she needs to downsize now and spend the $$ on herself. We don't want it, and her collections are (as you so nicely put it) not to my sister and my taste. (How many ugly Hull vases can one human have??)
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Post by tc on Feb 18, 2020 22:08:56 GMT
tc I know you might not want to hear this but reading your story and especially your mother's reactions, it does sound like she has a hoarding problem. There are different types of hoarders with different mindsets and different stuff they're hoarding (it's not all like shown in the reality TV shows). Hoarders have a far more difficult time to let go of things and hold on to more stuff than clutterers. I have a friend who is a social worker and recently asked me to help translate + adapt some of the worksheets in this awesome book by a fellow (Canadian) social worker, Conquer the Clutter. It's incredibly informative, both in helping to understand hoarding (and debunking quite a few myths about it) as well practical help to assist someone in this situation. Highly recommended. Your mother will likely take far more time downsizing than she anticipates considering her reactions so far. She will need help. I hope someone in your family can take the time to assist her in a way that is beneficial (again, from what I've seen, Birchall's book is great). Thank you. She may well be. I'll also play a non-qualified psychologist and say she's trying to fill the void from my father's death and some other disappointments from her life with stuff. It's an easy answer. She also has a shopping buddy in one of my sisters. I'll check out the book and keep trying to be patient with her. I know confronting her is not going to get me anywhere.
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Deleted
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Mar 29, 2024 6:33:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2020 22:13:36 GMT
Can I ask something of the hive mind on clutter? My DH is always saying that our walls are cluttered, and the tops of my bookshelves are cluttered. This is because we have photos of our family hanging up or framed and on top of the book shelves. I do not have knick knacks, candles, or other decorative stuff. All photos. How many pictures do you all display, or think is tasteful? I guess I don't think I have too many, but for this dude, one family photo, recent, no pics of our darling children growing up, playing, etc...would be enough.
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Post by refugeepea on Feb 18, 2020 23:24:26 GMT
My main struggle? Honestly, it's living top floor sans lift and sans car. I would give up! I really need to stop making excuses. My biggest one is a whiny I'm too tired!
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Post by myboysnme on Feb 19, 2020 0:23:41 GMT
My son is moving out in 2 weeks and soon after I will be moving all my scrapbook stuff that is currently in 3 rooms into that room. From there I will be staging, sorting and purging to move it all into a functional scrapbook room. I do not see myself scrapping in there even when it is organized, but I do see myself being able to preplan and get pages well organized to take to crops, which is my preferred place to scrap.
Will see how successful I am over the next few months, because it will take me that long at least.
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Post by scrappyem on Feb 19, 2020 1:20:51 GMT
Linda & tc I'm sorry for you both. So hard to deal with parents. Big hugs. My sister and I are trying to get our parents to sort through more of their things and it's challenging. My dad is ill, and I am very worried about what will happen with my mom when he passes. My mom also uses shopping to fill voids in her life. I worry about what that will be like when my dad isn't there keeping an eye on the money. He put me on their accounts, so I can log in and see what's happening but I can't imaging having to tell her "no", especially when it comes to giving money to my sister or the grandkids. The money she gives them is unreal now (and we are not wealthy). I try to be encouraging and cheer them on when they are doing things like cleaning the garage but some days it's harder to be patient than others. They spend an awful lot of time complaining and not doing a lot. There's also the guilt because I don't want the ugly furniture or nicknacks. Reminding myself to take deep breaths is good advice. That's about all I can really do.
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Post by Linda on Feb 19, 2020 1:46:19 GMT
Can I ask something of the hive mind on clutter? My DH is always saying that our walls are cluttered, and the tops of my bookshelves are cluttered. This is because we have photos of our family hanging up or framed and on top of the book shelves. I do not have knick knacks, candles, or other decorative stuff. All photos. How many pictures do you all display, or think is tasteful? I guess I don't think I have too many, but for this dude, one family photo, recent, no pics of our darling children growing up, playing, etc...would be enough. mine are cluttered with photos also - truthfully I'm about ready to have LESS photos - not none or one but maybe 2-3 favourites of each child and perhaps just the most recent formal portrait of each instead of a dozen frames each on the piano, my dresser, the tops of a couple of bookcases plus many years worth of school photos on the walls. edited - I'll need to have a clear plan for what is going ON those spaces afterwards in advance because otherwise DH tends to expand into any emptied space...
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,413
Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Feb 19, 2020 3:16:42 GMT
We have 3 groupings of family photos on the walls - above couch, 10 framed photos, HIGH ceiling so could handle more - above piano, 3 framed photos, all from our wedding (each side of the family and one of just the two of us) - along stairway, 11 frames, 2 of which are collages of 3 photos
We also have family photos on the two bookcases in the great room (7 frames and 3 frames).
Laundry room has a "laundry line" around the top of the room with photos of my kids and nephews as babies/toddlers being dirty, in the bath and playing in laundry. 1 framed photo on the counter.
Dining room has 3 framed photos that I took in the creek by our house.
Office/scraproom has many photos on my shelves but it is a general cluttered mess.
Our bedroom has many photos of DH and I over the years. 4 floating shelves and 1 main gallery wall.
Sounds like a lot when I type it out but I don't think it is too much. One thing I did was matting almost all the photos and have some larger >8*10 photos printed.
I need to go through and replace some of the photos. At one point DD was about 5 and I realized we had no photos of her on the wall despite taking family photos every year!
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Post by hmp on Feb 19, 2020 3:30:20 GMT
I’m 85% done restoring my scrap room. As I anticipated there’s not enough storage space for everything. So now I’m buckling down to do the hard work of purge #2. Purge #1 is always easy for me. This time it will require more thought, more acknowledging I no longer do x y or z and therefore no longer need x y and z. More coming to grips with just how much money I’ve spent on all this. I have the money to spend but that doesn’t mean I should spend it. So much guilt there. I’m just dreading this next step. While I can envision how this room will look & feel when I’m done, it’s going to be really hard for me to go through this. I don’t understand why. I can rip through my closet and dressers and get rid of clothes with no issue. Same thing with the kitchen. I even gave away my childhood dollhouse, which had also been my mother’s dollhouse, right before the holidays. But this paper stuff just makes me freeze up. If any of you have pictures of clutter-free spaces that inspire you, could you please share them with me?
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Post by pas2 on Feb 19, 2020 12:07:52 GMT
We have 3 groupings of family photos on the walls - above couch, 10 framed photos, HIGH ceiling so could handle more - above piano, 3 framed photos, all from our wedding (each side of the family and one of just the two of us) - along stairway, 11 frames, 2 of which are collages of 3 photos We also have family photos on the two bookcases in the great room (7 frames and 3 frames). Laundry room has a "laundry line" around the top of the room with photos of my kids and nephews as babies/toddlers being dirty, in the bath and playing in laundry. 1 framed photo on the counter. Dining room has 3 framed photos that I took in the creek by our house. Office/scraproom has many photos on my shelves but it is a general cluttered mess. Our bedroom has many photos of DH and I over the years. 4 floating shelves and 1 main gallery wall. Sounds like a lot when I type it out but I don't think it is too much. One thing I did was matting almost all the photos and have some larger >8*10 photos printed. I need to go through and replace some of the photos. At one point DD was about 5 and I realized we had no photos of her on the wall despite taking family photos every year! Sounds lovely! I have only a pair of my kids senior portraits in the living room, some tiny vintage photos of grandparents and my parents as children and some pics on a magnetic board in my scrap space. I am uncomfortable hanging family photos on the walls for some reason, have no idea why.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 19, 2020 14:03:50 GMT
Can I ask something of the hive mind on clutter? My DH is always saying that our walls are cluttered, and the tops of my bookshelves are cluttered. This is because we have photos of our family hanging up or framed and on top of the book shelves. I do not have knick knacks, candles, or other decorative stuff. All photos. How many pictures do you all display, or think is tasteful? I guess I don't think I have too many, but for this dude, one family photo, recent, no pics of our darling children growing up, playing, etc...would be enough. I have 7 photo frames on my mantle. I don't think it's cluttered. My mom has about 30 frames on an end table. THAT is cluttered, IMO.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 19, 2020 14:08:15 GMT
I’m 85% done restoring my scrap room. As I anticipated there’s not enough storage space for everything. So now I’m buckling down to do the hard work of purge #2. Purge #1 is always easy for me. This time it will require more thought, more acknowledging I no longer do x y or z and therefore no longer need x y and z. More coming to grips with just how much money I’ve spent on all this. I have the money to spend but that doesn’t mean I should spend it. So much guilt there. I’m just dreading this next step. While I can envision how this room will look & feel when I’m done, it’s going to be really hard for me to go through this. I don’t understand why. I can rip through my closet and dressers and get rid of clothes with no issue. Same thing with the kitchen. I even gave away my childhood dollhouse, which had also been my mother’s dollhouse, right before the holidays. But this paper stuff just makes me freeze up. If any of you have pictures of clutter-free spaces that inspire you, could you please share them with me? Try to let go of the guilt. When you spent the money on your hobby, it brought you pleasure. That's good enough. Now you know better and will be more mindful of your purchase for scrapping. You will feel much better when you let those things go.
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Post by janamke on Feb 19, 2020 15:45:24 GMT
Right now my biggest struggle is with my Tim Holtz stuff. I used to make all sorts of tags (remember his monthly tag series). My mixed media, (95% of it TH) currently takes up an entire Raskog cart and 3.5 cubbies of a Kallax storage unit. I have tons of his dies, inks, oxides, alcohol inks, stain, paints, embellishments, trinkets, etc. The space it takes up doesn't sound like a lot, but my room is 7x7. I have a 4x4 Kallax, 2 Raskog carts...that's all the storage I have. The problem, I haven't used any of it except oxide inks in well over a year. I do love getting inky fingers and making fun projects, but just no time lately. Do I keep the stuff? Get rid of it?
Other big item...wedding china. Currently 7 boxes packed full. It was packed up 4 years ago for a basement remodel and hasn't been opened since. We are not fancy eating people, I don't have a formal dining room. Using it is a pain, wash it because it's been sitting. Then hand wash it again after the meal. BUT...someday I can imagine having dinner parties. I like to cook and entertain. The china is classic and timeless, it will never go out of style. Keep or sell?
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Post by scrapcat on Feb 19, 2020 16:33:16 GMT
Other big item...wedding china. Currently 7 boxes packed full. It was packed up 4 years ago for a basement remodel and hasn't been opened since. We are not fancy eating people, I don't have a formal dining room. Using it is a pain, wash it because it's been sitting. Then hand wash it again after the meal. BUT...someday I can imagine having dinner parties. I like to cook and entertain. The china is classic and timeless, it will never go out of style. Keep or sell? It would either be a keep or donate. I go to estate sales on a regular basis and all I see is beautiful stacks of china that nobody wants. They try to sell them for their "value", but also have seen sets deeply reduced, but still sitting there. Nobody wants it! It's kinda scary to think what will happen to all this china that will never (?) biodegrade. The one thing that may sell is if you sell in pieces versus as a set. I don't have an extensive set, and only takes up 1 box, but I feel same as you about it, but I have forced myself to use it for Thanksgiving the passed 2 years because why not. Just bcz we aren't fancy doesn't mean we can't eat off of nice plates! I go thru phases with purging. I did a lot last year, I am probably due for another round in craft stuff, luckily whatever I take to crops usually gets scoffed up at the swap table. I'm also hesitant to over purge household things. I see too many people getting rid of stuff in the name of minimalism, but then going back out and having to repurchase things they didn't think they needed. I think there is a balance. I try to buy second hand on a lot of things, but also really think about what I get rid of too. It can be just as wasteful. I remember when Marie Kondo was blowing up, everyone was all "she says get rid of all of your stuff" and she came out in a few interviews trying to explain that is not what she said. And if you actually read the books, that's not what she says, just that things should be loved and serve a purpose, be used. As long as there is space and it is kept organized, I don't have a problem storing things that only get used occasionally and other things kept for sentimental purposes.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Feb 19, 2020 17:28:14 GMT
Other big item...wedding china. Currently 7 boxes packed full. It was packed up 4 years ago for a basement remodel and hasn't been opened since. We are not fancy eating people, I don't have a formal dining room. Using it is a pain, wash it because it's been sitting. Then hand wash it again after the meal. BUT...someday I can imagine having dinner parties. I like to cook and entertain. The china is classic and timeless, it will never go out of style. Keep or sell? I'll bite and be the annoying person who leaves you with questions to ponder. You've probably thought about most if not all of these before. But sometimes it just helps to have someone else be the interrogator. You don't need to answer these here publicly if you don't want. These are just to help you come to a decision. 1. The china's timeless and won't go out of style. Granted. But do you actually like it? 2. You mention you like to cook and entertain but that you're not "fancy eating" folks. Does this mean you feel you'd need to adapt your cooking to live up to the standard of your wedding china? Is this something you really want to be doing in the future? 3. You can imagine having dinner parties. Have you had these in the past? If not, how long have you been imagining this happening? If it's been several years, you should consider whether the china's just an aspirational keep. 4. Can you have dinner parties (sooner rather than later *mumbles something about no better time than the present*) without this china? How would this affect the parties? Would you be comfortable hosting people for dinner with your regular everyday china? A more relaxed aesthetic (and overall vibe) is very common these days. Plain white everyday china, bouquets of baby's breath and eucalyptus leaves, a fun taco bar as main course, etc. Would this be envisagable for you? Maybe make dinner parties even easier because you could just throw your regular china in the dishwasher rather than handwash the fancy one? 5. If you're still resistant to donating the set, what about embracing using it? Just using it. Family lunch on the weekend? Go fetch the fancy china! Friendsgiving or Friendmas, fancy china! Those who have a lot of people over and don't have a dishwasher (like me) just turn the cleaning into a fun social event: one friend scrapes, one washes, one rinses, two dry. Over a cup of coffee and some Swiss biscuits or another glass of wine. 6. "Oh this? This is grandma's wedding china. I can't really remember ever seeing it out. I think she was saving it for a special occasion like a fancy dinner party but it never really happened. Maybe a couple of times. What a shame. Seven boxes of it. Barely ever used. Too pretty and dainty to be enjoyed outside of extra special events which almost never occurred. To think she held on to all these boxes in the hopes of... Makes you sad, really." Yah, this got dark real quick (I'm sorry but it's for the sake of the exercise, I promise). Just let this one sit and simmer for a bit and see how some long-term projection helps to put this into perspective. Personally, I don't know why I'd have seven boxes of china... Jokes aside, if I really liked it, I'd use it much more frequently and test-drive it for a few months. Is it still super annoying to clean it all by hand (I mean, that's a daily task for me no matter which china I use so... )? Do I enjoy having it out? Can I realistically schedule recurring occasions to use it? Can I perhaps pare the set down to something more realistic? Just keep the coffee and tea sets if I can't be bothered with the plates anymore?
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Post by Linda on Feb 19, 2020 18:16:35 GMT
Other big item...wedding china. Currently 7 boxes packed full. It was packed up 4 years ago for a basement remodel and hasn't been opened since. We are not fancy eating people, I don't have a formal dining room. Using it is a pain, wash it because it's been sitting. Then hand wash it again after the meal. BUT...someday I can imagine having dinner parties. I like to cook and entertain. The china is classic and timeless, it will never go out of style. Keep or sell? I never got wedding china per se - we eloped and didn't get the traditional wedding gifts. I did inherit china from my grand aunt probably 20 years ago that we use on holidays - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter. It wasn't my favourite when I inherited it but it was prettier, imo, than the set my sister picked, an it's grown on me. I like it more now than I did 20 years ago. I just inherited one of my mum's sets - that one I LOVE (and again, my sister chose a different set I didn't like as much). I haven't used it yet - it's only been in my house about 3 weeks but I plan to - it'll be perfect for dinner parties or even just Sunday dinner. I also seem to be acquiring pieces to the Christmas version of my everyday stoneware thanks to DS's thrift store habits. I think that'll be everyday china for Advent and Christmas though. None of mine is boxed though - Grand Aunt's is in my china cabinet and mum's is in my sideboard along with the Christmas stoneware. I don't have a dishwasher so handwash only isn't a hardship here. I may end up donating Auntie's china if none of my children express interest in it. FWIW I'm not fancy china people either - I live in a mobile home (and not a fancy one, it's falling apart around us) in rural Florida. Having matching everyday dishes that aren't paper makes us 'fancy' in my area.
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Post by janamke on Feb 19, 2020 18:18:19 GMT
Other big item...wedding china. Currently 7 boxes packed full. It was packed up 4 years ago for a basement remodel and hasn't been opened since. We are not fancy eating people, I don't have a formal dining room. Using it is a pain, wash it because it's been sitting. Then hand wash it again after the meal. BUT...someday I can imagine having dinner parties. I like to cook and entertain. The china is classic and timeless, it will never go out of style. Keep or sell? I'll bite and be the annoying person who leaves you with questions to ponder. You've probably thought about most if not all of these before. But sometimes it just helps to have someone else be the interrogator. You don't need to answer these here publicly if you don't want. These are just to help you come to a decision. 1. The china's timeless and won't go out of style. Granted. But do you actually like it? 2. You mention you like to cook and entertain but that you're not "fancy eating" folks. Does this mean you feel you'd need to adapt your cooking to live up to the standard of your wedding china? Is this something you really want to be doing in the future? 3. You can imagine having dinner parties. Have you had these in the past? If not, how long have you been imagining this happening? If it's been several years, you should consider whether the china's just an aspirational keep. 4. Can you have dinner parties (sooner rather than later *mumbles something about no better time than the present*) without this china? How would this affect the parties? Would you be comfortable hosting people for dinner with your regular everyday china? A more relaxed aesthetic (and overall vibe) is very common these days. Plain white everyday china, bouquets of baby's breath and eucalyptus leaves, a fun taco bar as main course, etc. Would this be envisagable for you? Maybe make dinner parties even easier because you could just throw your regular china in the dishwasher rather than handwash the fancy one? 5. If you're still resistant to donating the set, what about embracing using it? Just using it. Family lunch on the weekend? Go fetch the fancy china! Friendsgiving or Friendmas, fancy china! Those who have a lot of people over and don't have a dishwasher (like me) just turn the cleaning into a fun social event: one friend scrapes, one washes, one rinses, two dry. Over a cup of coffee and some Swiss biscuits or another glass of wine. 6. "Oh this? This is grandma's wedding china. I can't really remember ever seeing it out. I think she was saving it for a special occasion like a fancy dinner party but it never really happened. Maybe a couple of times. What a shame. Seven boxes of it. Barely ever used. Too pretty and dainty to be enjoyed outside of extra special events which almost never occurred. To think she held on to all these boxes in the hopes of... Makes you sad, really." Yah, this got dark real quick (I'm sorry but it's for the sake of the exercise, I promise). Just let this one sit and simmer for a bit and see how some long-term projection helps to put this into perspective. Personally, I don't know why I'd have seven boxes of china... Jokes aside, if I really liked it, I'd use it much more frequently and test-drive it for a few months. Is it still super annoying to clean it all by hand (I mean, that's a daily task for me no matter which china I use so... )? Do I enjoy having it out? Can I realistically schedule recurring occasions to use it? Can I perhaps pare the set down to something more realistic? Just keep the coffee and tea sets if I can't be bothered with the plates anymore? Ohh, good questions! 1. Yep I do like it a lot. If I bought China now, it would be the same. 2. I can see myself doing this in the future. I cook pretty fancy now and again, we just use our everyday stuff because of the lazy aspect. 3. Good point, need to think. 4. Could, yes. But I have 3 children. Horribly messy, slobby teenagers. So we don't entertain as often as I'd like. 5. I have thought about just using it as I really dislike our set of everyday dishes. 6. This will totally be my kids and grandkids someday. Sigh. So I exaggerated a bit at 7, probably closer to 5 with the serving pieces included. 10 place settings. I know I can get rid of serving pieces, just a matter of going through the boxes. And then there is the matter of the large chest of silverware to go WITH the china that I didn't mention. It's sterling, so the stuff needs to be POLISHED, then washed. Ugh, what were we thinking?
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Post by Linda on Feb 19, 2020 18:22:49 GMT
BUT - I am a believer in only keeping what you actually USE. My mum's house was FULL of everyday dishes and fancy dishes...she lived alone and hadn't entertained in over 5 years. But she had probably 15 sets of everyday dishes plus two collections of Pfatlzgraff (Heritage and Yorktowne) plus Christmas Heritage plus the two sets of china my sister and I took plus probably 6-7 sets of dessert plates and platters or tea services or ...some of which neither my sister nor I had ever seen in use. Her kitchen cabinets were fULL (plates stacked so high they touched the shelf above) and she had a LOT of cabinets plus two china cabinets, a side board, a corner shelving unit (floor to ceiling) and a whole closet with shelves....all overflowing with dishes, glasses, pots, vases, etc...
She claimed to love them all....maybe she did? But I suspect some were inherited, some were wedding gifts, and many she bought because they were pretty or a good price or...and in the end? Three sets were kept (2 china plus my DD19 took the Yorktowne) and the rest were either donated or are going in the estate sale (and may end up donated afterwards if they dont sell)
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azcrafty
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,719
Jun 28, 2019 20:24:21 GMT
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Post by azcrafty on Feb 19, 2020 19:02:09 GMT
I just need to stay out of tuesday morning. Really and truly. Stay out. I took a different way home on Friday in order to avoid the temptation to go in. Even though my carpool partner was like, "This way is 10 min longer." I told him there was a road closure! 🤣😂 maybe I should try this too.
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