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Post by hmp on Mar 26, 2020 1:34:32 GMT
Have any of you scrapped the process of a loved one dying? I spent 1.5 weeks in the hospital several hours a day, watching a loved one die. Visiting hours were severely restricted due to covid-19. I was shocked to find myself taking some pictures. Some of the iv pumps & tubing, some of chairs, bed, sheets/blankets/pillows, body parts like hands & feet. I think I took the photos to make the situation more “real”. Like making a layout will confirm I actually lived thru this event and experiences. Just curious if anyone has done this & what compelled you to do it? Do you regret it? I don’t imagine anyone else will ever see this layout. It’s just a part of my grieving process. Trying to accept that this happened.
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Post by grammadee on Mar 26, 2020 2:01:32 GMT
First of all, huge hugs to you and everyone else who is grieving this loss. A terrible experience to have, made even more tragic by restrictions brought on by Covid19.
I think everyone grieves in different ways, and my belief is that if taking photos and scrapping them serves as a comfort to you, you should definitely do it. Have never scrapped the process itself, but have done tribute pages to the person who has passed. Simple Stories has a collection called Heart that is really helpful for doing that.
Again, (((((HUGS)))))
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 26, 2020 2:04:44 GMT
I have heard of others doing this. I also think that sometimes people hide the journaling or a picture they don't want others to see.
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
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Jun 29, 2014 18:58:47 GMT
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Post by scrapnnana on Mar 26, 2020 6:14:17 GMT
My sincere sympathies for your loss.
I did scrapbook my mother’s death, but not quite the way you described.
I was doing calendar layouts when my first grandchild was born only 4 days before my mother died. My DS and DDIL took their newborn baby to show my mom. They knew she wasn’t going to live much longer. They took photos of my mom, my son, and grandbaby. I flew out there the next day. My mom died the day before Mother’s Day, and her sister (who was like a second mom to me) died the day after. Mom’s grandsons carried my mother’s coffin, and was such a beautiful setting that I took a photo of them.
It was the hardest layout that I have ever made. It still makes me cry to look at it, but it helped me with closure. When my dad died, I couldn’t go for medical reasons. It was harder to find closure as a result.
I don’t know if I would have actually done the layout of my mom’s death if it weren’t for wanting my calendar pages for the year to be complete. I had to force myself to scrapbook it, but I am so grateful that I did it.
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Post by steakgoddess on Mar 26, 2020 7:39:19 GMT
Sending you loads of (((hugs)))
I think if this will help you process and grieve, you should scrapbook whatever you need to.
I have the photos of my Dad’s last days in the hospital and I’ve always planned on scrapping them, but haven’t yet.
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Post by KelleeM on Mar 26, 2020 10:30:07 GMT
I tried to take a photo of myself holding my husband’s hand moments after his death but it was just a blur. I kind of wish now that I hadn’t deleted it. I have a few photos from his Celebration of Life that I plan to scrap at some point. There’s one of his three sons (all men in their late 40s and early 50s) where each of them has a hand on the box containing his cremains. I also have photos of the signs his favorite Dunkin Donuts posted in memory of him. I just don’t know when I’ll be ready to scrap them.
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Post by LisaDV on Mar 26, 2020 12:31:39 GMT
Hugs to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I agree, do what helps you.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 26, 2020 12:48:25 GMT
(((Hugs)))
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I've never been around someone dying slowly (everyone I've known passed suddenly).
I've started to make a layout about my brother's death, but it's been more than a year & i haven't been able to pull it all together. Too raw, I guess?
I think it's beautiful that you have photos of that last bit of time with your loved one.
In your shoes, i would scrap that time.
Any photos or journaling that feels too personal, you could make hidden.
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Post by Linda on Mar 26, 2020 13:46:27 GMT
I scrapped photos of my MIL in hospice when we visited her and I've scrapped photos from various family gatherings post-funerals. I don't see anything wrong with you scrapping those pictures if it helps you heal. I know a friend of mine scrapped photos of her grandma's (open) casket. I haven't printed photos we took of the flowers/displays at my mum's funeral - I might or might not -I'm not ready now for sure.
((((Hugs))) and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by myboysnme on Mar 26, 2020 22:15:09 GMT
I can't say I exactly have but I cared for my grandfather a month before he passed and I took a few photos of him sleeping in his chair with his Walker nearby, his hands, etc. I made some lovely tribute pages. He passed about 3 weeks after this in 2011 at age 99. I do scrap funerals including casket photos. I feel it is all part of the process of our time in this world.
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MDscrapaholic
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Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Mar 26, 2020 22:35:32 GMT
I didn’t really “scrap” the process when my DH got sick, but I did write a blog and updated it just about every day. We had family who lived in Canada and it was a way to left them know what was going on at the time without having to call them. I kept the blog going until about a month or two after he passed away.
A few years ago, I made a book of my blog posts and shared it with my three kids. They each wanted a copy so I printed off three more. There are so many little moments in that book that we have forgotten as time has gone by. I’m so glad I did this. It’s been almost ten years now, and I cherish the memories, good and bad, captured in that book.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Mar 26, 2020 22:55:30 GMT
Yes I did the whole 12 months. I took tons of dying photos. You are normal and I am so sorry for your loss.
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FurryP
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Mar 27, 2020 0:29:21 GMT
I spent 5 months in hospitals/nursing homes with my dad. None of that is anything I want to remember by documenting it. Two years later I still live it in my head sometimes. I have to physically tell myself to get it out of my head and think of something else. I only document the things that bring fond memories.
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amom23
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Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Mar 27, 2020 1:14:44 GMT
I actually don't even scrapbook unhappy memories, but I think it's important for others to document their own way. l am sorry for your loss.
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Post by coloradocropper on Mar 27, 2020 3:16:29 GMT
I won't knock anyone who does but, for me, taking care my beloved uncle his last few days and being there when he took his last breath was incredibly hard. I don't think I can relive that again by scrapbooking it.
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aldeem444
Junior Member
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Dec 26, 2018 9:32:00 GMT
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Post by aldeem444 on Mar 27, 2020 12:58:40 GMT
I’m so sorry for your loss.. it is hard to say goodbye
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Post by hop2 on Mar 27, 2020 13:10:23 GMT
I scrapped a picture of me holding my fathers hand the last night I spent with him. It was very difficult but treasured time. I don’t regret it but I only have the one pic & it’s very meaningful. It was semi cathartic to scrap that.
I also was loaned my fathers family’s scrapbook from when they were growing up and I scanned all the pics of my dad & scrapped those
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Deleted
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Mar 29, 2024 11:44:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2020 14:17:07 GMT
I won't knock anyone who does but, for me, taking care my beloved uncle his last few days and being there when he took his last breath was incredibly hard. I don't think I can relive that again by scrapbooking it. I did take some pics of my dear gram, and one of me holding her hand, but I cannot scrap them. Doing hospice care was something I was 100% unprepared for, and while I did it with love and would do it again, I cannot relive it via scrapbooking.
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Post by scrappintoee on Mar 30, 2020 4:40:06 GMT
hmp.....I am soo sorry for your loss! You do what will be best for you! Do you think scrapbooking it will help you with closure? It really did for me. You asked if we regretted it---I can say a definite NO---I'm glad to have it. But, even if you did end up regretting it, you could just avoid looking at it, I guess? Or, pass it on to a family member/ friend who would love to have it? My precious younger brother died 11 years ago--we were very close, and even now, I sometimes can't believe he's actually gone--as if it were a movie. A few years after, I knew I wanted to make an album of his life. It was very cathartic for me! (I still haven't finished it, but the layouts I do have are a treasure!) As far as photos / memories from when he was actually dying---I took the kind like others mentioned---just his hands with a little stuffed animal I put nearby...ugh, still makes me cry! I did document every single detail of the last few days of his life, but that isn't part of his scrapbook---that's just for me and it's in a separate notebook. I am VERY glad I documented everything, and if you end up doing that, I hope it helps you!
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