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Post by refugeepea on Mar 30, 2020 2:05:18 GMT
My thoughts are all jumbled right now. I hope what I type out makes sense.
When I need an escape, my scrapbooks are to look back at the happy times. I already dwell on the bad things and I feel like it makes it worse for me. Even if there's a few bad things and lots of good in albums Nope! I think about the bad too much. It's how my brain works.
I'm also not great with words (as evidenced by this post) and journaling all the emotions for everyone to see looks so fake to me. Also the thought of people reading it, asking questions, showing pity, showing shock... No thank you! Even if it's my own kids. Then there's the fact that maybe that person in your album doesn't want their bad things documented for others to read.
I understand you can go back years later and see that you learned a lesson some way and look at the bad in a positive light. I just don't want it out there. I guess what I'm getting at, is what is a positive way to document struggles and sadness over a variety of situations that you feel are too private? A healthy way of documenting the bad things?
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Post by mom on Mar 30, 2020 3:32:00 GMT
I journal - but not on my layouts or where others can see it usually. Or I will 'hide' the journaling on a page so it isn't for public consumption. I don't usually scrap all the bad stuff but will make a reference to it so that tI am acknowledging bad things are happening but then I move on.
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Post by grammadee on Mar 30, 2020 4:02:14 GMT
Good question. I too tend to only scrap "the good stuff". My scrapbook and my scraproom are my happy place, where I can relax and smile about the memories and dream about adventures in the future. These albums are for me, first, but also for my grandkids who feature on most of the pages, so I am not about to share any deep dark secrets on them.
When I am sad or worried, I tend to want to write. Sometimes it is a poem. Often just kind of stream of consciousness. I used to handwrite on pieces of looseleaf paper. Sometimes I kept them. Just found a duotang with my poems in it the other day and put it with another where I had collected notes about struggles of being a working mom. Now I tend to open up a new Word document and just start typing. Don't worry about the punctuation or grammer. Just write out what I am thinking/feeling at the time. I have saved many of them, but not all. Sometimes just getting it out helps, and I can let the feelings go when I delete the document.
In times of loss, I continue to try to focus on any positives I can find. I remember the BIRTHDAYS of the people who have passed on rather than the date of their passing. If I am scrapbooking (or thinking about) an event that did not turn out the way someone wanted, I focus on their strengths and their efforts rather than their failure. (Tougher on myself, of course, but don't write or scrap much about that...)
I have written several eulogies for loved ones, and I found it really helpful to work through my grief. Our family process has been to sit and share memories of the person, and then I get the honour of weaving it all together into one story. But although I do say in them how much we will be missing this person, the bulk of the message is a collection of happy memories, this person's strengths, some funny quirks of their personality. I save these on my computer and sometimes go back and read them when I am remembering someone who has passed on, and while they make me cry, they also make me smile.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Mar 30, 2020 6:16:28 GMT
I've been thinking about beginning a journal of some sort too, which might be hard for me because I also think I'm not great with words. I'm thinking maybe I'll fill it with other people's words. And maybe I'll comment on them with my own p.o.v. or maybe I'll just let them sit on their own.
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lesmcf
Full Member
Posts: 221
Jul 10, 2014 0:50:47 GMT
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Post by lesmcf on Mar 30, 2020 7:33:07 GMT
I made a scrapbook called “Things that pissed me off “
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Chinagirl828
Drama Llama
Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 6,458
Jun 28, 2014 6:28:53 GMT
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Post by Chinagirl828 on Mar 30, 2020 8:34:47 GMT
I'm a lot like grammadee in that I journal the bad stuff, not necessarily scrap it. Sometimes those words might make it onto a page, usually hidden somewhere, but I'm fine if they don't go anywhere other than a word document too.
If it's something that would be a glaring omission from a PL or month in review page, I'll acknowledge it in a "this didn't turn out the way I thought it would" type way, but won't dwell on it.
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aldeem444
Junior Member
Posts: 64 
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Post by aldeem444 on Mar 30, 2020 8:43:35 GMT
I only scrap Happy
When I’m sad I tend to pray , walk or go horse ridding I am not really creative when I’m down and I always think you should only remember the good days because they really matter
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 30, 2020 11:52:04 GMT
I made a scrapbook called “Things that pissed me off “ I think my kids would get a kick out of that one day! I don't usually scrapbook the really sad things. Scrapbooking is my escape sometimes. Regarding COVID19, I am journaling on 12x12 lined paper every day or two. I write the number of days we've been in social isolation, then the date, then what is happening, and sometimes my thoughts about it. I created a first page with some images I found and a title. |
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Mar 30, 2020 15:16:02 GMT
... I guess what I'm getting at, is what is a positive way to document struggles and sadness over a variety of situations that you feel are too private? A healthy way of documenting the bad things?
I've been giving this more thought. Do you want your thoughts to be heard, but just kept anonymous? You could start a blog anonymously and write there. Or do you want to get your thoughts out of your head but just keep them to yourself? You can do that too. There was a dark time that in my life I wrote every night. I filled several notebooks, and then one day when I felt I had moved past my troubles, I shredded them. Maybe you could write down your thoughts with the intention of destroying them, maybe as soon as you've finished writing. Make it about the process, not about creating a product. Just getting the thoughts out of your head, but this way you won't have to risk any emotional repercussions of anyone else reading them. Or, heck, if you want a keepsake at the end of it, write down everything with watercolor markers on some thick paper and then submerge the whole thing when you're done to blur the writing. Let it dry and write over it again the next day. Rinse and repeat. That could look pretty cool. |
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Post by lasteve1 on Mar 30, 2020 15:49:08 GMT
I find journaling to be therapeutic, but I feel the same way about my projects... especially because I share a lot of them on the internet, plus with friends and family.
I tend to have "levels" of journaling as a result.
Project Life and family layouts are very superficial journaling... what happened or good times. Bad times are maybe given a nod to in a joking tone or a "that sucks" tone, but nothing serious or deep.
I have a personal scrapbook of layouts about me that are somewhat more reflective. Sometimes I share these with text blurred our my family my flip through, but they're slightly more private. Even so, I keep in mind that someone might read them so they're not so personal, even though they might be a little more in depth.
Then for one little word I include a lot more reflective and personal journaling in those albums, but I keep them in my scrapbook room and don't share them with anyone. Maybe after I'm dead someone will find them and read it, but for now it's just for me.
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Post by grammadee on Mar 30, 2020 15:50:10 GMT
Here is a poem I scribbled down shortly after I lost my job at one point in my career. It was in response to people who were asking “How are you doing?” Later I typed it up in the old Word Perfect and added some graphics. Found it the other day tucked away in the duo tang of my poems. I think it still rings true. At the time, we can’t really document what is going on in the middle of crisis b/c WE are in crisis right down to the core. Much easier to talk/write/scrapbook about it looking back when I am ME again...  |
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,114
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Post by scrapnnana on Mar 30, 2020 18:02:16 GMT
I loved your poem, grammadee!
I have only scrapbooked 3 unhappy events in the 24 years that I have been scrapbooking, because the bad times are hard to forget. They are easy to dwell on. I scrapbook the happy times to help me remember them. If I feel down, I can go to my albums and count my blessings.
However, for about two or so years, I did calendar pages. One side of a two page layout was a calendar with the things we did or experienced during that month. The other half of the layout was one or more photos that represented at least one of the events of the month. The idea was that if I did not get everything scrapbooked, I had a record of what happened, so I could go back and catch up later. It was easier to scrapbook a two page layout each month than to get all the family events from the month scrapbooked, especially during that busy time.
We lived near DC. During my calendar page days, my mom died, 9/11 happened, and the Beltway Sniper terrorized the area. Those were all hard events for me to scrapbook, but because I was doing calendar pages, I made myself do them. And those pages still make me cry when I see them.
I stopped doing calendar pages so that I wouldn’t have to scrapbook the unhappy things. I don’t care if anyone thinks that is stupid, but I scrapbook to help me stay positive, hopeful, grateful, etc., so I no longer scrapbook the bad things. Our kids know the stories of the bad times, especially since they experienced a lot of them with us, but the sad memories are brought up only on rare occasions. There is no danger those things will be forgotten. The fun, happy times are sometimes forgotten. I am surprised that sometimes when browsing through an album, I realize that I didn't remember the event in the photos until I was reminded by seeing the album page. I love having the happy memories be brought back. It’s almost like experiencing those good times again.
Several in my family struggle with depression. It’s a once in awhile thing for me, but when I go down into what I think of as “the trough,” I need happy things to help me realize that life is good. I see no need to scrapbook the sad things. They refuse to be forgotten.
Whatever you (or anyone else here) may decide to do, I hope it works well for you. It’s a very personal choice.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
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Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Mar 30, 2020 19:43:52 GMT
I'm another one who only scraps happy moments. None of us want to remember feeling like crap. That's not why we flip through the pages.
I also don't post on Facebook for a similar reason. My life is tied too closely with the rest of my family, and I can't share my life without also sharing theirs. But their struggles aren't mine to share.
It can be a tough line to walk, but I think they all appreciate that I don't overshare online and in my books.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Mar 30, 2020 19:51:27 GMT
I don't really scrap unhappy events. However, I want to scrapbook when I was diagnosed with my aHUS. I have a picture of me in the hospital with a rubber glove filled with hot water on my head as a hot water bottle. I had a migraine and ice wasn't working anymore. I snapped the selfie to send my boys because I knew they would find it silly. aHUS has taken over my life essentially but now that I'm 18 months from diagnosis, I feel like I can scrap that picture. Will I tell the whole story? probably not. I'm not good at journalling and pouring my heart out on a layout. I'm more of a when, where and who kind of journalling type person.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 30, 2020 19:54:52 GMT
refugeepea I guess it depends on if you will want to reread your journaling in the future, or you just want to get your emotions out on paper & have it be part of your scrapping. There are many memories in my life that are not happy. Not ones I'd like the kids to read about. Thoughts that I wouldn't want to share with everyone. But the words themselves have energy, and power. They are a part of me, and sometimes i want to include them without showcasing them. If i want to ever be able to reread my writing, i might write a letter, more like streaming thought. Fold it. Choose a place behind a photo or large piece of pattern paper to place it. And sew just along the unwritten seam. Then adhere the photo/pp on top. If i just want the therapeutic effects of writing it all down, but won't want to reread it, i paint over it. Then build my layout on top of it.
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Post by KelleeM on Mar 30, 2020 21:32:21 GMT
I have scrapped one really hard thing (losing the vision in one eye) but used a picture and journaling that wasn’t all gloom and doom.
At at the beginning of 2020 I started a Traveler’s Notebook using mostly selfies and journaling about the hard stuff. My husband’s death has changed my world and journaling about my current life helps a little bit. I also have a journal that I’ve started using to write letters to my husband.
I’ve had my share of really tough things in my life but haven’t scrapbooked most of them. I doubt if I ever will.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Mar 30, 2020 22:22:41 GMT
I have a scrapbook style journal that contains my more personal stuff. It is a mix of fluff and deep.
My journal is for my eyes only, with the exception of a couple things I shared with someone I trust 150%.
Fluff: Favorite quotes and sayings, bucket list(done and want to do), favorite songs list, etc...
Deep: Thoughts I've written as a form of therapy, to release it from my heart and soul and mind.
My regular scrapbooks, are for everyone's viewing, if someone chooses to look.
My scrapbooks are chronological. By year (January to December).
I include everything. Day to day stuff, going out, events, occasions, even the not so great stuff.
My scrapbook typical looks like this, a random assortment of my life >> Girls night out, cat, Nephews ball game, someone's birthday gathering, medical issue(allergic reaction), lunch with High School friend, shopping (spending gift cards at Hobby lobby), cat, ice cream with Niece, new cabinet (assembly before and after), day trip somewhere, dinner with Niece, silly photos at work, someone's birthday, spoiled at work >> two dozen doughnuts!, Easter, bbq, birthday, School play, ball game, sinus crud-urgent care, birthday, girls night out, cat, Christmas, etc.....
Some years are busier than others.
The year I am currently working on, is few and far between on the photos. It happens. The cat is featured more than usual, and that St Patricks party that I took 75-ish photos at party, many of the photos are being used as opposed to narrowing things down. One year may have 50 layouts, the next year 100 layouts and everything in-between.
Less or more....the good, the bad, the boring, the crazy, etc..... Each photo, each page layout, each day, each month, each chapter, etc.... It's all the story of my life.
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Post by steakgoddess on Mar 31, 2020 2:45:45 GMT
I documented the family photos from my aunts funeral. But I didn’t journal about the funeral or losing my aunt.
I think you just have to do what’s right for you. Document what you want, when you want.
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Elsabelle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,602
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Post by Elsabelle on Mar 31, 2020 3:29:53 GMT
Do you think you might be interested in art journaling? You can still have a creative outlet but you don’t necessarily have to use words if you don’t want to. You can check out some YT videos and see if it interests you.
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Post by anniefb on Mar 31, 2020 15:53:22 GMT
I only scrap the good stuff and am not big into journaling so no advice sorry!
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Mar 31, 2020 21:28:28 GMT
what is a positive way to document struggles and sadness over a variety of situations that you feel are too private? A healthy way of documenting the bad things?
when I need to get bad stuff out of my head, it is NOT by putting it in my scrapbooks and photo albums. Those are my 'happy place' too. I have separate journals that are for collaging art if I feel like it, and for just writing... just dumping the crap out of my head and onto a page. I never even go back and look at or read any of it again later. I sometimes just need to get it out of my head. If I'm collaging or art journaling, it's not 'pretty pages' either-- it's slapping paint, slashing markers, and scribbling crayons onto the page just to get me into a flow state to calm my mind. Collaging is just cutting, pasting, and doodling randomly onto the pages to get me into a flow / meditative state. Not for future viewing. A lot of times the writing might not even make sense... it's a stream-of-consciousness writing that might not even be legible. |
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Post by myboysnme on Mar 31, 2020 21:36:18 GMT
I scrap unhappy and negative things but I do it matter of factly. I don't journal a bunch of emotion with it. Sometimes I turn a humourous spin on my journalling to tell part of a story. Example: My son's firs Christmas my mom and sister kept bitching that he needed to be in a playpen. Finally tempers exploded, common in our family, and we left in a huff for a long drive home. Unfortunately we grabbed the bags of trash instead of our gifts which we discovered when we got home.
So my suggestion is if you want to scrap photos that have unhappiness with them, just state the facts as simply as possible. If you don't want to state the unhappiness don't. When I look at photos my grandparents have they have no story with them. It doesn't say this is the Christmas my grandfather left and didn't come home for 3 days. They just are moments in time recorded on film.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 31, 2020 21:48:18 GMT
Most of the things I scrap are happy. Not all though. My son was involved in a serious car accident his senior year. There were plenty of pictures to scrap. He still doesn't remember about three months of that year and I am glad I have the few layouts. He looks at them and doesn't remember them. I know a lot of people do hidden journaling when things are personal.
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Post by meridon on Apr 16, 2020 4:47:03 GMT
This is why I now am much more of an art journaler than a scrapper. We've had a rough few years as a family and I just couldn't make myself scrap "happy" things when I wasn't feeling happy. I also got tired of feeling the burden of the role of family historian. I've decided I don't give a rip if my family burns everything I've ever made in a giant bonfire after I'm gone, so I just do what makes ME happy and I've completely freed myself from feeling pressure to document other people's memories.
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