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Post by tara595 on Apr 8, 2020 21:10:56 GMT
You asked for the truth? Not well. I have depression and even on a good day, I struggle. I live alone and the isolation is getting to me. I make myself go down into my craft room daily but there are some days I just want to get back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I miss human touch. I go into the shower and take long showers just so I can feel something on my skin. I talk and text but what I miss is a face to face conversation with joy and laughter. I have a prearranged appointment with my therapist today (via video) and am looking forward to that. I will pick up groceries today and I think I will go for a long drive up the freeway for a change of scene. Thanks for asking how we are doing. Sorry to be such a Debby Downer. Hugs to you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 18, 2024 16:38:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2020 22:03:34 GMT
Dd is a Jr but is raging she can’t see her friends. She sleeps all day and is up all night, but getting her AP classes and school done. Just found out she took $200 out of her savings and ordered a snake online. I just can’t even. No idea if she will be able to see her specialist referral in May. I am so sorry-I laughed until I cried, I am sure you are crying and not laughing...(((hugs)))) So my DS is also a JR. Also raging that he cannot see his friends, I am trying not to let him sleep all day, but it is an uphill battle. He is in one AP class and it took him soooooo freaking long to do his stuff for it today I was about to freak out. He whined and literally slid out of his chair on to the floor like he was 2 at a restaurant again. When she was 1 day past 18, my DD took 400 (!!!!!) dollars out of her savings, and went and got a half sleeve arm tattoo. Not that there is anything wrong with tattoos, but no one in our family has talked about tattoos, we don't have any tattoos, ect...what possessed her to do this, I still don't know. That was money my mom had given her toward her first year of books for college. I almost had to give my mom a sedative when she found out. Anytime you need to vent about 17 year olds, just shoot me a pm!!
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Post by Zee on Apr 8, 2020 22:13:18 GMT
Have been doing ok on the days I can get some sleep; last night though my fever spiked again and lungs started burning/constructing again...it’s been weeks. Somewhat better today, but exhausted. I shower and get dressed and have to rest. Walk up the stairs; have to rest. There’s just so much; watching family members struggle with too much information/hours to work (FEMA/Military). Frustrated with family who think this is nothing, family members who think this is a vast left wing yet global conspiracy to take down Donald Trump and hurt churches. I just can’t even. Worrying about my mom who is in her 70s and lives alone, starting to have some mental decline issues, and is pissed I told her not to come over for Easter. It’s so hard to be states away from my dad, he has underlying health issues (stroke, high blood pressure) and is staying home but is a hoarder so I don’t know what exactly his living conditions are since my grandma died and he isn't staying at her house anymore. Worried for family members in hard hit areas that have the virus; worried for family member with pancreatic cancer who just had surgery. Worried for family member who lost her mom last fall and can’t be with her dad as he grieves and has Parkinson’s disease. So sad watching multiple friends and families’ teens struggle with losing their senior year and sports and “normal” teen life. Dd is a Jr but is raging she can’t see her friends. She sleeps all day and is up all night, but getting her AP classes and school done. Just found out she took $200 out of her savings and ordered a snake online. I just can’t even. No idea if she will be able to see her specialist referral in May. Annoyed the dishwasher broke, waited weeks for parts, nope wrong one. No one wants to be part of a functioning household and wash dishes. Ex is at least fairly stable mentally/emotionally right now, but he insists on overdoing it trying to work and has burn pit scarred lungs and has a hard time breathing on a good day and is still struggling to breathe recovering from his illness. He can’t get his weekly knee shots so he can barely walk. We were just finally in a good place co parenting and with visitation and it’s all up in the air now. Oldest at least seems to be doing well with online university classes, and fingers crossed will be home from isolation for Easter...if I’m not still coughing and having this up and down fever. As for me? The last 10 years have been a head down, one foot in front of other struggle, and 2020 is no different. It is what it is, I’m cancelling the trips, thankful beyond anything there’s finally a solid roof over our heads, food on the table and money to pay the most pressing bills. My heart breaks for those out of work, those working essential, and those struggling to work in strange circumstances with the anxiety of the unknown. I laughed out loud at ordering the snake online. Very something I would do, lol. I'm a hair's breadth away from stress buying a chameleon. Edit: I'm not overly stressed other than I can't go shopping. I'm about to jimmy open the back door of Home Goods just to wander the aisles!
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Post by LiLi on Apr 8, 2020 22:24:01 GMT
Ugh. Not good! I try to get by everyday, playing board games, doing schoolwork with my kids, watching movies, etc. At the end of the day, it's so hard to deal. My business is essentially dead until this is over, hopefully we can rebound. After this month, I am not sure I can pay all of the business bills. (hopefully some help comes through) I am worried about my parents my adult kids, my brother who has asthma but works in a lab, travels every other week and is essential.
I am not sleeping, my anxiety is so bad. I am thankful to at least have my kids to keep me busy and smiling through the days. I know it could be worse, and so I will move forward and try to make the best of it. Love to everyone, especially those who are going through so many things on top of this pandemic.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 8, 2020 22:46:13 GMT
In general, I am okay.
Realistically, good days and bad days, more like good hours and bad hours. Mostly good with moments of emotional, meaning crying. Trying to keep myself busy, so I don't overthink.
Thankfully, my Library offers e-books, which is a new thing for me. I still prefer actual books, but grateful to have something to read.
I have found having things to look forward to helps. When I go to Walmart for milk in a few days, I will get myself a treat for Easter day. Since there will be no gathering this year and I can't see Nieces and Nephews, the least I can do is treat myself to something....most likely a pint of Ben & Jerry's or a box of ice cream sandwiches or whatever is available. Next week, I will use a Christmas gift card and do a curbside takeout pickup.
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Post by peano on Apr 8, 2020 23:10:52 GMT
Aaargh! Had a big response typed out and then lost it in a board glitch. So maybe it was a sign to moderate what I was going to say, given the amount of pain and suffering that is evident on this board.
I've mentioned on several threads that I had back surgery on March 11 and then another surgery on March 15 due to complications, so spent nearly a week in the hospital. Typically I bounce back pretty quickly from surgery because I am regularly physically active but my butt is being kicked. Almost a month out, I'm still having shortness of breath and the exhaustion that comes from that. Carrying on a conversation is exhausting. My easy walk is now my hard walk.
I had a clean chest x-ray and a negative COVID19 test. So what is it? The incisions were through my throat, so maybe it's just that, but I wish I had someone to ask: is this a normal part of healing or is there something really wrong? On good day, I don't like being a medical noodge, but now, with everything COVID19 going on, it seems wrong to keep bugging my surgeon's office.
But really what is bothering me is my pride. I took pride in my speaking voice and my singing voice. What I have now is a labored rasp that becomes shrill if I raise my voice. I am mourning what I lost and I'm afraid I'll never be whole again. People are dying by the thousands, and this is what I'm worrying about. I am so ashamed.
So I'm trying to be as functional as possible. I'm now feeling well enough to do the breathing exercises on my incentive spirometer. I walk daily. I try to accomplish at least 3 things daily. I've cleaned up my diet I am limiting most to all televised news and just reading the WaPo in the am. I'm keeping my tv light and fluffy. If the weather is at all nice, I sit outside and listen to the birds and watch the clouds.
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Post by stormsts on Apr 8, 2020 23:14:15 GMT
I want to reach out and hug all of you that are struggling❤️
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Post by gar on Apr 8, 2020 23:18:02 GMT
peano don't be ashamed of those feelings - they're valid. What's going on in the world doesn't mean your health is unimportant. Call your surgeon and get the reassurance or advice - he'll understand.
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Post by KikiPea on Apr 8, 2020 23:26:23 GMT
I’m doing okay, and all is well in our house. I do have to say that not being able to see friends, or go sit in a restaurant and enjoy a good meal (yes, we are still getting take-out, but it’s not the same.), listening to all the news and not knowing what the truth actually is, hearing everyone YELLING loudly to STAY HOME (We are, except for the grocery store, vet and take-out and walking), going to said grocery store (It’s like a war zone, and they are always out of something I need), and reading/hearing all of the bashing of the President and his staff (No, I did not vote for him OR Hilary) is really wearing me down. We still have a long way to go, and I’m just tired of it all.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,958
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Apr 8, 2020 23:57:18 GMT
I'm so stressed out. DH and I are both working from home, and that's fine, but I can't stop from watching the news and its scaring the hell out of me. I worry about my parents. I'm worried about my kids. DD is working from home but DS is a tradesman and still goes in to the shop 4 days a week. I lie in bed at night worrying. It's all I think about.
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Post by lisae on Apr 9, 2020 0:44:42 GMT
Oddly I think I'm doing better now than near the beginning. The beginning for me was the first couple of weeks in March when we were talking about the virus here and DH and I started following the news closely. When people started taking this seriously and more action was taken by our state, I sort of shifted from feeling like there were just a bunch of us 'chicken little's' to an entire world that was in this mess together.
Now I'm getting faster at making masks and feeling like I'm contributing. At first I admit I was a little resentful that I needed to spend my crafting time making masks when I had all these projects planned. I was just upstairs for an hour and a half at my machine after dinner and if it weren't so darn hot up there, I'd have probably stayed longer.
Meal planning has gotten easier as we can usually find what we want at the grocery store. I'm not checking the news quite as often though probably still too often each day. I do get anxious about what is to come. It's fairly easy for us to bear now. Plenty of food, we can order things we need and our income isn't too affected yet. Yet, every day I think of some other group of workers or businesses that must be impacted by this or will be impacted that I hadn't thought of before. The other night I woke up thinking about moving companies. Who would hire movers because who would be moving right now? I don't know a single soul who is a mover.
DH has a friend who has two ice cream shops. This is usually their busiest time as people buy more ice cream just when is starts to turn warm than they do in summer even. He gave up trying to do take out and told Dh he would soon have to give away his inventory as it would go bad. I'm very sad for him. He's the nicest man in the world and a little over a month ago, he had a busy season to anticipate.
There are some good things. DH and I are of different political parties and since Trump was elected we haven't been able to talk politics which let out a lot of current event discussion but this crisis we see mostly the same. We are often sharing news stories we see - both the bad stuff and the hopeful things. He has been on this since the beginning and can't understand why all the states haven't done a stay-at-home order and why everyone doesn't wear a mask. "We should have been doing that all along," he says. So the crisis has brought back a level of debate and discussion we hadn't had since the 2016 primary season.
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Post by malibou on Apr 9, 2020 0:45:59 GMT
I want to reach out and hug all of you that are struggling❤️ You and me both. HUGS to all of you. Great big firm warm caring hugs that last exactly as long as you need.
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 9, 2020 0:54:46 GMT
Today I am just tired. I've been napping on and off since noon and it is now almost 7 and I am ready for bed and my body hurts.
Trying to make it to 8 and then I am going to bed
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Post by cindyupnorth on Apr 9, 2020 1:06:49 GMT
I am doing ok. Last wk was really tough, but this wk is better. Still working full time at the hospital. Some interesting use of PPEs going on, but doing our best. Our hospital is slow right now, which is good, as they anticipate this surge in the next 2 wks. I hope to god they are wrong. They completely got rid of one whole rehab unit in anticipation for the surge. So all that staff is down with us on med/surg. We have a great manager who is also keeping us fully employed, and busy. We are part time pt care and part time door screeners now. People, I am sorry, can be such Aholes. If someone is asking you questions at a door, going in to a medical facility or office, it is because they have been instructed too. It's not for their fun and enjoyment. Just be a nice human and be kind and agreeable. We are all stressed, and all going thru this. We aren't picking on you. We literally ask the same thing of every.single.person. My dh is still working full time. Now is typically their slow time, so it's normal. My girls are both working still. So we are blessed in terms of employment. In terms of mentally it's getting old. But I know here in MN what we are doing is working. So I fully support being on "stay at home" executive order. now extended til May. Being sick, or exposing it to someone else and making them sick is not worth loosening the orders. Yes, life sucks right now, but if we want a good life from here on out we have to just hang in there a bit longer!!
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Post by cecilia on Apr 9, 2020 1:45:11 GMT
I am not sleeping well. I am trying to walk more but losing motivation.
I miss my Wednesday Night Poetry friends. I had finally met someone I truly like and care about and haven't been able to see him in over a month now. He was leaving in May so it isn't like we could spend time together after things die down. He is a seasonal employee at the horse race track. He is supposed to be taking a stewards class so I don't know if that would affect him coming back next winter.
I had been spending more time at the track. Really couldn't last year due to mobility. I miss baseball too. It was a major distraction for me. Tomorrow was supposed to be the Travs' home opener. I had had tomorrow planned since August when I got the schedule.
I am crafting more and organizing. Have Baby (rescue dog) walking on a leash though which is progress.
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on Apr 9, 2020 1:51:38 GMT
I am not sleeping well. I am trying to walk more but losing motivation. I miss my Wednesday Night Poetry friends. I had finally met someone I truly like and care about and haven't been able to see him in over a month now. He was leaving in May so it isn't like we could spend time together after things die down. He is a seasonal employee at the horse race track. He is supposed to be taking a stewards class so I don't know if that would affect him coming back next winter. I had been spending more time at the track. Really couldn't last year due to mobility. I miss baseball too. It was a major distraction for me. Tomorrow was supposed to be the Travs' home opener. I had had tomorrow planned since August when I got the schedule. I am crafting more and organizing. Have Baby (rescue dog) walking on a leash though which is progress. How is your surgery recovery? I've been praying for you.
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Post by cecilia on Apr 9, 2020 2:00:06 GMT
I am not sleeping well. I am trying to walk more but losing motivation. I miss my Wednesday Night Poetry friends. I had finally met someone I truly like and care about and haven't been able to see him in over a month now. He was leaving in May so it isn't like we could spend time together after things die down. He is a seasonal employee at the horse race track. He is supposed to be taking a stewards class so I don't know if that would affect him coming back next winter. I had been spending more time at the track. Really couldn't last year due to mobility. I miss baseball too. It was a major distraction for me. Tomorrow was supposed to be the Travs' home opener. I had had tomorrow planned since August when I got the schedule. I am crafting more and organizing. Have Baby (rescue dog) walking on a leash though which is progress. How is your surgery recovery? I've been praying for you. Thank you for your prayers! My last wound healed in January. I go to the surgeon Monday for a follow up.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,725
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Apr 9, 2020 2:07:14 GMT
Doing ok, relatively speaking. We are fine financially and I am still working, even with school out for the year. I’m a lunch lady and we are working 2 days a week providing two meals on Monday and three Wednesday delivered via busses to pickup locations around town. While I am happy to be contributing to the greater good, and I know many families really need the food, we are having to work incredibly hard in the time we are allowed to work to get things done. My almost 69 Year old body is tired and my work situation is really stressing me out - I had almost 19,000 steps on my pedometer today, and that was in 6 hours!
I am not sleeping well, I have family in New York and Maryland, and I am very worried about them. My state still has no stay at home order, and I am worried about friends and family here, I don’t think folks are taking this seriously enough. Also completely disgusted and angry with trump and his cronies and that isn’t helping my attitude at all. I need to turn off the news and stop reading on the internet.
But Dh, Ds and I are ok, I need to spend a little more time being thankful for what we DO have....
Many hugs and wishes for better days to my fellow peas who are suffering in these uncertain times.
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
Jun 25, 2014 21:56:13 GMT
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Post by MaryMary on Apr 9, 2020 5:54:10 GMT
I’m doing a bit better than the beginning of this. I’m a homebody, so staying in hasn’t been that rough for me. I have recently started connecting with my siblings on zoom and that has filled a conversation/socialization void. I’m not sleeping great, but that has been going on since I went through menopause and has worsened a bit, but not significantly. I’m starting to get control of my stress eating.
I am trying to let go of my uncertainty about how to fulfill certain requirements for graduation and how to find a job when schools are shut down. I am feeling a bit calmer about getting the virus, I have no idea why. Maybe it is paranoia fatigue? I don’t know. But, I’ll take what I can get.
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Post by manda on Apr 9, 2020 6:31:35 GMT
We basically returned from a Hawaii vacation on March 13th into a storm of crazy in Southern California. Little over a week later we got the stay at home order in Los Angeles County. I’m fortunate I previously worked from home 1 or 2 days a week and my law firm quickly transition everybody to work from home before I returned from Hawaii. But that first week or two back was a slap in the face. I was verge of tears always.
I was just getting into my rhythm when we cancelled our planned June 2020 wedding in Hawaii (we are okay and trying to reschedule) when we found out fiancé (he is LEO) had to change shifts and days of week to work.
Three days ago he told me his department is taking temps and will be doing tests for COVID regularly. If he was found to have COVID, he will be quarantined at a hotel in the Los Angeles area; they rather the police and firefighters don’t return home... so that took some processing.
And then this morning he told me his last two days of calls have included interacting with people with COVID. Said you can see it in their eyes. So now I feel like we shouldn’t be so close together at home but does it really matter?
When a coworker today told me today she thinks we have another two months of this...? I lost it. I can’t even.
At least I found my work groove again.
Stocking up supplies and food how I can and cooking a lot. We thankfully both are stockpilers so when I moved in with him last fall, we knew we were set for months or years to come. Thank goodness because I have yet to see toilet paper in a store or online and have only seen one roll of paper towels which I grabbed since we are a little lower on those.
Now in my mind, I’m preparing to be here alone by myself if he gets sick and quarantined, knowing I would also likely get sick and need to be self sufficient.
So basically I was doing better until the last 48 hours. 🤷♀️
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Post by JoP on Apr 9, 2020 13:33:24 GMT
I’m devastated and really struggling.
I lost one of my longest and closest friends to suspected Covid-19 on Tuesday - I can’t stop sobbing and crying and it shouldn’t be like this, she was only 54 her granddaughter is not yet one.
I can’t go and comfort any of them. Her two children were like my own as we never had children
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Post by JoP on Apr 9, 2020 13:34:17 GMT
Sending huge socially distant (((hugs))) to all the peas xx
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Post by gar on Apr 9, 2020 13:39:38 GMT
I’m devastated and really struggling. I lost one of my longest and closest friends to suspected Covid-19 on Tuesday - I can’t stop sobbing and crying and it shouldn’t be like this , she was only 54 her granddaughter is not yet one. I can’t go and comfort any of the. Her two children were like my own as we never had children PM’d you JoP
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Post by JoP on Apr 9, 2020 13:49:06 GMT
I’m devastated and really struggling. I lost one of my longest and closest friends to suspected Covid-19 on Tuesday - I can’t stop sobbing and crying and it shouldn’t be like this , she was only 54 her granddaughter is not yet one. I can’t go and comfort any of the. Her two children were like my own as we never had children gar
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 9, 2020 13:55:04 GMT
I’m devastated and really struggling. I lost one of my longest and closest friends to suspected Covid-19 on Tuesday - I can’t stop sobbing and crying and it shouldn’t be like this, she was only 54 her granddaughter is not yet one. I can’t go and comfort any of them. Her two children were like my own as we never had children I am so incredibly sorry. It's really hard to lose a friend.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 9, 2020 13:56:12 GMT
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend, JoP. Hugs to you.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,030
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Apr 9, 2020 14:21:56 GMT
JoP I’m so very very sorry.
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Post by peano on Apr 9, 2020 15:12:36 GMT
I am so sorry, JoP. (((Hugs)))
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Apr 9, 2020 15:18:20 GMT
Huge ((hugs)) JoP . I'm so, so sorry about your friend. That's so sad and I know your heart is broken.
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joelise
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,649
Jul 1, 2014 6:33:14 GMT
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Post by joelise on Apr 9, 2020 15:23:58 GMT
I’m devastated and really struggling. I lost one of my longest and closest friends to suspected Covid-19 on Tuesday - I can’t stop sobbing and crying and it shouldn’t be like this, she was only 54 her granddaughter is not yet one. I can’t go and comfort any of them. Her two children were like my own as we never had children Oh I’m so so very sorry. How awful for you and her family, that is devastating. Sending you virtual hugs. I’m thinking of you x
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