momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,145
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Apr 9, 2020 20:49:52 GMT
Going to start with i'm an introvert, i'm happy to hang out doing my own thing. People actually tell my husband that he talks too much... So here's the thing, he's literally driving everyone nuts in the house at this point. Part of the problem is that he's working on paperwork in the kitchen. This isn't new, he will work on his business paperwork there if he has it...but it's especially irritating when everyone is home. He's also in the adjoining room all the time so there is no avoiding him if you wanted to. And I don't want to make it seem like everyone wants to avoid him at all costs, it's just that he's always right in the middle of things where others aren't. He's parked in the kitchen/livingroom area from 9 am to 8 pm. While there has certainly been complaints and grumblings between siblings they just close their doors and take a break and avoid each other for a bit and regroup. It's hard to take a break and regroup if you need to be in the kitchen and there's someone there looking to chat. I've definitely learned that while open concept looks nice, it has drawbacks I definitely need a solution to keeping my sanity. Am I the only one that feels like hanging out this much in a very common area is too much?
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 9, 2020 20:53:38 GMT
We have a tri level. It is an amazing style of house if you want "me" time. I have to purposely walk down two sets of stairs if I want to talk to my husband. Today he had a Zoom meeting in the office across from the room I was in. It was the closest we've been during the day for that long.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,812
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Apr 9, 2020 20:58:59 GMT
My dh has set up on the kitchen counter. If I wasn’t so busy doing other things he would be evicted. We have plenty of other space in our home that he could work in.
My girlfriend says I should leave him alone as this is different. I have, it’s just hard.
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Post by LisaDV on Apr 9, 2020 21:01:37 GMT
My DH would work at the dining table in the past. Drove me nuts. In this house, and since he thought he'd be working from home we set up an area in the master bedroom. This is working wonderfully for the most part. Although there are days, when him coming out and getting in my face for 5 or 10 minutes before his next call will annoy me. However, he would have physically called me if he were in the office, so now I get to ignore him in person which is much more satisfying.
**ETA If we hadn't taken in my brother in November, we would have set his office up in the basement guest room. That would be even better.
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lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,141
Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
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Post by lindas on Apr 9, 2020 21:03:34 GMT
I totally understand where you're coming from. My dad lives with me during the winter. Under normal circumstances he would have headed back to his summer home by now but he's still here and I'm about really to lose my mind. I've been hiding out in my craft room but I can't do that 24/7. I want my alone time and my space back desperately.
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,718
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Apr 9, 2020 21:07:40 GMT
I'm so lucky that my husband has set up his office in the finished attic. I can't hear any of his meetings and he loves the quiet up there. My office is on the first floor. DS is either working for DH in the basement or he's taking his online classes in his room.
We barely run into each other except at mealtimes during the workday. Having someone talk to me all day would just be a nightmare. I'm such an introvert. When DH wants to take a break, he comes downstairs and works on our jigsaw puzzle for 15 minutes or so -- he doesn't want to talk to me either.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,145
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Apr 9, 2020 21:12:13 GMT
My DH would work at the dining table in the past. Drove me nuts. In this house, and since he thought he'd be working from home we set up an area in the master bedroom. This is working wonderfully for the most part. Although there are days, when him coming out and getting in my face for 5 or 10 minutes before his next call will annoy me. However, he would have physically called me if he were in the office, so now I get to ignore him in person which is much more satisfying.
**ETA If we hadn't taken in my brother in November, we would have set his office up in the basement guest room. That would be even better.
I've never been a fan of his desire to work in the kitchen, but i've put up with it because it's not worth the argument usually. Yesterday he was on everyone's nerves so we put a table upstairs for him to set up in the Master bedroom. When I told him that we'd prefer that he work upstairs, he told us he hadn't been in the way, hadn't really been in the kitchen that much, etc. I know that i'll have to address this again when tomorrow or Saturday comes and he sets up camp there again.
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 9, 2020 21:15:15 GMT
I need to set up my spare bedroom as my office as I am working at the table. I'm not the one talking to others, but I am really accessible for people to come to talk to me.
Both boys have their own set up downstairs. One has a bedroom and the other has taken the rest over.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,145
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Apr 9, 2020 21:17:00 GMT
I'm so lucky that my husband has set up his office in the finished attic. I can't hear any of his meetings and he loves the quiet up there. My office is on the first floor. DS is either working for DH in the basement or he's taking his online classes in his room. We barely run into each other except at mealtimes during the workday. Having someone talk to me all day would just be a nightmare. I'm such an introvert. When DH wants to take a break, he comes downstairs and works on our jigsaw puzzle for 15 minutes or so -- he doesn't want to talk to me either. This sounds ideal. Everyone at our house is good at doing there own thing, in their own space...except for dh.
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Post by Merge on Apr 9, 2020 21:17:06 GMT
Our home is one level and mostly open concept. We've actually re-arranged some things to set up three separate workspaces (me, DH and 17 yo DD). It helps.
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Post by maryland on Apr 9, 2020 21:22:24 GMT
That would drive me crazy! My husband loves to click his pen, tap or slide his feet on the floor, etc. At least once this is over, everyone will go back to work. So it's just temporary, but hard! I love my family, but it's hard being together all day every day. It's easy to get on everyone's nerves. I get on their nerves just as much, because I want them to put their crap away! And the situation is stresseful, worrying about the economy, jobs, etc. And hearing my teen/college kids doing tik toks constantly! The language on those songs! I want to say if you can't play it around your grandparents, don't play it around me! And not knowing when this will end doesn't help. At least the weather is getting better, so we can get outside (if it's not raining or freezing).
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Post by maryland on Apr 9, 2020 21:24:10 GMT
I'm so lucky that my husband has set up his office in the finished attic. I can't hear any of his meetings and he loves the quiet up there. My office is on the first floor. DS is either working for DH in the basement or he's taking his online classes in his room. We barely run into each other except at mealtimes during the workday. Having someone talk to me all day would just be a nightmare. I'm such an introvert. When DH wants to take a break, he comes downstairs and works on our jigsaw puzzle for 15 minutes or so -- he doesn't want to talk to me either. That's great! I get stressed hearing my husband's work calls. They always worry me.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 15:03:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2020 21:32:54 GMT
Going to start with i'm an introvert, i'm happy to hang out doing my own thing. People actually tell my husband that he talks too much... So here's the thing, he's literally driving everyone nuts in the house at this point. Part of the problem is that he's working on paperwork in the kitchen. This isn't new, he will work on his business paperwork there if he has it...but it's especially irritating when everyone is home. He's also in the adjoining room all the time so there is no avoiding him if you wanted to. And I don't want to make it seem like everyone wants to avoid him at all costs, it's just that he's always right in the middle of things where others aren't. He's parked in the kitchen/livingroom area from 9 am to 8 pm. While there has certainly been complaints and grumblings between siblings they just close their doors and take a break and avoid each other for a bit and regroup. It's hard to take a break and regroup if you need to be in the kitchen and there's someone there looking to chat. I've definitely learned that while open concept looks nice, it has drawbacks I definitely need a solution to keeping my sanity. Am I the only one that feels like hanging out this much in a very common area is too much? Oh my. I'm sorry! This sounds like our life for the past 9 years! We've been basically isolated for that long. Both of us had surgeries and medical issues, and one of us was always at home recovering. We have no friends or family here. Limited income too. So, we're basically home every day except for doctor's appts and food shopping. AND we live in an apartment, so there's not much 'getting away'.
DH says that I'm constantly talking or grumbling about things I'm working on. His solution is to either put on headphones and watch things online, or he goes into his craftroom to escape. He also goes on our lanai for a while for some hot solitude.
I normally do my phone calling and spreading my files/paperwork in our open-space concept dining room which has nothing separating it from our living room, so I'm sure DH feels your pain!!! I did get a desk from a neighbor and we put it in our bedroom. I could do quick work from there....... but we're used to being right on top of each other (with DD32 here too and 5 cats!) for years now, every single day.........
Can you put a dividing door or anything to separate the kitchen? (Our kitchen is wide open too and right off of the livingroom/diningroom). Our only solitude is going outside or going into a bedroom. You'll get used to it. I'd suggest earplugs or headphones!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 15:03:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2020 21:36:24 GMT
DH is a total extrovert. I have (according to him) hurt his feelings several times during this situation due to "my unwillingness to participate in things like games, watching movies and talking". OMG. I am trying to work and carve out 2 seconds for myself whilst homeschooling, a feat I never intended to take on. Hats off to anyone who does that. Scrapbooking? Nope, that hurts his feelings. Sorry, just needed to vent for a sec.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 15:03:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2020 21:41:05 GMT
my husband is in 7th heaven right now. If it were possible he would take me to work with him everyday where i would sit in corner and never move/talk except to bring him endless drinks and snacks. Guess what!
He needs to go to work.
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Post by jemmls4 on Apr 9, 2020 21:42:36 GMT
My DH and DS both were laid off, so I had hoped some projects would get done. Yeah, mostly. DH asking me what we should have for dinner or tell me every little thing he’s done. Also he should be looking after dog so he doesn’t come up in the teeny tiny bedroom/overflow junk room while I am working. Nope!
At least DS was working until last weekend and he still has his online classes. I sure hope DH’s employer survives and he has a job to get back to.
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Post by cmhs on Apr 9, 2020 21:43:33 GMT
I'm spending a lot of time in the basement these days. DH is working at the dining room table which is pretty much the center of the house and open to the living room.
My craft area is in the basement so I've been spending most of my days quilting and sewing down there. I made a bunch of masks and will be finding other projects to keep busy with and stay out of DH's "office".
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Post by roberta on Apr 9, 2020 21:43:57 GMT
I was just about to start a thread on SOs driving 'you' crazy. I love my dh! but he is insisting on working in the dining room (nice big table and added a card table). I can't do anything in the kitchen or main floor because it "breaks my concentration"! Really!! Funny enough every so often I hear the side door being opened and closed quickly. He hates squirrels and tries to shoo them away! He must look up and out the french doors when he is thinking and sees the squirrels!
I totally relate to your dilemma.
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Post by Legacy Girl on Apr 9, 2020 21:50:56 GMT
SO. Over. It.
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Post by femalebusiness on Apr 9, 2020 22:01:30 GMT
Do what I did. I downloaded the HBO app and set him down to watch all the seasons of Sopranos on his iPad for the second time. Best babysitter ever!
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Post by ntsf on Apr 9, 2020 22:21:41 GMT
my dh is retired.. but it hurts my adult child with autism who had been taking one class a semester at the local university. at home learning is very frustrating and she does not do as well. she needs to get out of the hosue.. and she can't. and it is difficult for her to do so in normal times. my dh has started drinking at night.. and he becomes useless and annoying. I wish he wouldn't but I can't say anything.
I miss my little job of being a nanny.. but financially we are ok.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 15:03:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2020 22:47:52 GMT
(((((hugs))) ntsf. I complain about DH because he is annoying and restless, but another one of my friends DH's has started drinking again due to all this and it is very hard on her.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Apr 9, 2020 23:50:51 GMT
can't see the guy in my life... guess that is good for our relationship right now?! lol! however.... two of my kids are "crackers" - they crack their neck, fingers, toes, back, etc, etc. i can't stand the sound but normally, i shudder and move on. in this situation though, it is starting to drive me *nuts*!! other DS is a loud eater.... they go to their dad's for a week on monday... will miss them and worry... not gonna lie though, looking forward to the silence at the same time.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 9, 2020 23:59:35 GMT
My husband is still going to work during the week... and I think I'm even gladder about that after reading this thread! Lol.
I already have the 18 y/o (doing five on-line college classes after the college closed due to what's going on) and my 94 y/o mama who's here with us temporarily. I miss my time alone each day. Love 'em but they are all up in my 'bidness.
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Post by lisae on Apr 10, 2020 0:27:45 GMT
I've definitely learned that while open concept looks nice, it has drawbacks I would never do another open concept house again and I've felt that way since the first time Dh retired. Just before his final retirement, he had a contract where he worked at home on the weekends. Just as you described, he was parked in the LR for about 10 hours each Saturday and Sunday. It was just the two of us, I could go wherever I wanted and I still found it very irritating. Hope you get a reprieve soon.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 10, 2020 1:29:48 GMT
Me too. I love my alone time. I love my small studio apt.
But it's been too much alone time. I need people interaction. I've done a couple face times calls and that helped.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Apr 10, 2020 2:24:50 GMT
Our family room is in or kitchen and our main tv is too. I have the lower level and I love living down here. I have 1100 square feet plus my storage that I find my stuff hidden in. It’s a great escape.
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Post by jackietex on Apr 10, 2020 2:57:53 GMT
My husband is a dentist, so closed except for emergencies. He is allowing himself to sleep in, but then he heads off to his office--and I'm completely fine with this! I think he's reading comic books and Facebook, but we all do better with a little distance.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,942
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Apr 10, 2020 3:07:41 GMT
One of the spare bedrooms in our house is an office. DH and I each have a workstation set up in there. We're both working from home right now and whenever one of us has a phone call or a skype meeting, that person takes their laptop (DH) or surface pro (me) upstairs for that meeting so as not to interrupt the other person.
It's working really well.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 10, 2020 4:58:29 GMT
I’d make him set up a desk space in the bedroom if there was any way to do that. I wouldn’t be able to stand that. My DD is an easily distracted chatterbox who likes to set up camp at the kitchen table, and I knew that if we didn’t find a way to set up a work space for her to do her distance learning in the adjacent office she would drive me insane with all her stuff scattered everywhere. So we did that and she still tries to work at the kitchen table every chance she gets, oy. At least at the end of the day I can collect up all her junk and put it on her desk in the office so I don’t have to look at it 24/7.
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