J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Apr 12, 2020 20:24:08 GMT
I’m tired. I’m cooking every night at least plus doing food prep so Mom and DH can feed themselves during the day. Because of DH’s kidney issues, my menus are very restricted. Add in that he’s an ungrateful asshole when it comes to my cooking efforts, and it’s hard to get excited about cooking every night. My mom is the saving grace to all this. She was visiting when everything went to hell, and we were able to convince her to stay. she insists on doing all the dishes and laundry and she’ll cook breakfast some mornings. She’s pretty much always willing to try something new, if I want to cook it. As long as she doesn’t have to meal plan or cook anything other than bacon and eggs, she’s happy. Three weeks ago, just after DH realized he couldn’t continue to go out everyday to pick up his breakfast and lunch, he had a bit of a breakdown. He got really nasty on several occasions when I didn’t get up and make his food for him. Did I mention that I am working 40 hours a week minimum? I’ve always worked from home, so I’m still working. DH won’t actually start his next assignment, which will be remote, until May 1. so he’s just sitting on his ass. We have as kidney safe lunch foods as I can provide, but DH won’t come downstairs and make himself a sandwich but once a day. Then he whines because he only eats once before supper! He refused to microwave the meals I made for him, saying he didn’t know how and wanted me to do it and bring it to him. that didn’t happen. Last week my head hurt with the sinus pressure headaches I get every spring when the pollen falls and the barometric changes. I went 3 days before I finally gave in to the pain and got off work early. I just couldn’t stomach cooking, so, knowing what a can of worms I was opening, I asked DH to go get pickup, the first time since starting quarantine. Sure enough, the next morning he started in that he should be able to go out and get breakfast and lunch everyday. So, had to fight with him to justify why he shouldn’t go out every day. I finally ended it by telling him I wouldn’t agree to him getting his normal money out when he had the opportunity to eat at home food that had already been purchased for him at his request. Yeah, I’m tired. The physical effort of cooking is nothing compared to the mental stress of dealing with someone who os miserable and is taking it out on me. Marcy That sounds absolutely miserable and I want to kick his ass. I don’t know the situation, but I am so sorry you’re experiencing that.
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Post by stargazer on Apr 12, 2020 20:46:41 GMT
I would be (I cook every day normally & often get sick of the slog of it despite enjoying cooking) but with all of us home & my kids not really being kids (18&22) I have got everybody cooking on rotation (except my 92 year old dad!). I’m really enjoying it & it’s giving dd more confidence before she goes off to uni in the autumn. It helps that I’ve been able to get our (previously only occasional) recipe box each week so 4 meals come with recipes & all the ingredients gathered together.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 12, 2020 20:55:24 GMT
I'm so tired of it. My husband does not cook AT ALL, and I'm really getting tired of being responsible even for making him a tuna salad sandwich. I didn't mind before because we did takeout and out to dinner sometimes, but this now beginning to wear on me. I'm going to start teaching him.
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Post by Linda on Apr 12, 2020 21:23:10 GMT
I'm very, very tired of the "cook, handwash pots & pans, then dishes & utensils, put everything away, then repeat in a few hours" cycle. YES!!!!! I have washed dishes *an overflowing double sink worth each time* FOUR times today - one half of the sink is full again and dinner isn't even close to being cooked so I still have more prep. dishes plus the dinner dishes plus dessert dishes (because those are always later than dinner) to wash. At least the girls are reluctantly putting them away.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Apr 12, 2020 21:44:25 GMT
DH is cleaning up fatigued. Tonight is the night I was going to teach DS how to make pasta, so rather than me, DH standing in the kitchen doing… whatever it is he’s doing. Not instructing DS, that’s for sure. And I’m sitting on the couch answering questions literally every other minute. 🙄 “What pot do you use? Where’s the Italian sausage? How do you know when it’s no longer raw?”
The least they could do is bring me a drink so I could enjoy the whole experience a bit more.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,983
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Apr 12, 2020 22:08:21 GMT
Yes. Shopping, cooking and clean up are all mine. All day every day.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Apr 12, 2020 22:21:48 GMT
I’m tired. I’m cooking every night at least plus doing food prep so Mom and DH can feed themselves during the day. Because of DH’s kidney issues, my menus are very restricted. Add in that he’s an ungrateful asshole when it comes to my cooking efforts, and it’s hard to get excited about cooking every night. My mom is the saving grace to all this. She was visiting when everything went to hell, and we were able to convince her to stay. she insists on doing all the dishes and laundry and she’ll cook breakfast some mornings. She’s pretty much always willing to try something new, if I want to cook it. As long as she doesn’t have to meal plan or cook anything other than bacon and eggs, she’s happy. Three weeks ago, just after DH realized he couldn’t continue to go out everyday to pick up his breakfast and lunch, he had a bit of a breakdown. He got really nasty on several occasions when I didn’t get up and make his food for him. Did I mention that I am working 40 hours a week minimum? I’ve always worked from home, so I’m still working. DH won’t actually start his next assignment, which will be remote, until May 1. so he’s just sitting on his ass. We have as kidney safe lunch foods as I can provide, but DH won’t come downstairs and make himself a sandwich but once a day. Then he whines because he only eats once before supper! He refused to microwave the meals I made for him, saying he didn’t know how and wanted me to do it and bring it to him. that didn’t happen. Last week my head hurt with the sinus pressure headaches I get every spring when the pollen falls and the barometric changes. I went 3 days before I finally gave in to the pain and got off work early. I just couldn’t stomach cooking, so, knowing what a can of worms I was opening, I asked DH to go get pickup, the first time since starting quarantine. Sure enough, the next morning he started in that he should be able to go out and get breakfast and lunch everyday. So, had to fight with him to justify why he shouldn’t go out every day. I finally ended it by telling him I wouldn’t agree to him getting his normal money out when he had the opportunity to eat at home food that had already been purchased for him at his request. Yeah, I’m tired. The physical effort of cooking is nothing compared to the mental stress of dealing with someone who os miserable and is taking it out on me. Marcy That sounds absolutely miserable and I want to kick his ass. I don’t know the situation, but I am so sorry you’re experiencing that. Thank you! LOL I’m just whining, saying here what I can’t say at home. My mom is so mad at him I keep making sure she’s not behind on the stairs. I’m lucky that she and DD have seen his behavior firsthand, so I don’t have to try to explain why I’m gritting my teeth every time I speak to him, but, at the same, time, I have to be really quiet to keep the peace. I don’t want him or Mom to break quarantine - not with the health issues they have. Marcy
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,703
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Apr 12, 2020 23:01:26 GMT
There are three adults in the house and we all three pitch in to cook. My vent is that I always wind up cleaning the kitchen! DD has a LOT of classwork online. I'll give her a pass. But DH never seems to step up with the dishes. It's aggravating.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,840
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Apr 13, 2020 0:09:57 GMT
I finally ended it by telling him I wouldn’t agree to him getting his normal money out when he had the opportunity to eat at home food that had already been purchased for him at his request.WOW!
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Post by fredfreddy44 on Apr 13, 2020 0:43:23 GMT
I blame myself today. I made banana bread, 2 apple pies and split pea soup. Took a total of 2.5 hours of constant prep, washing, and cooking. But it will all taste good.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,407
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Apr 13, 2020 0:44:25 GMT
There’s been a few nights when I’ve wanted to eat out, but I predicted that. So I made sure we are stocked with frozen pizzas, and Chinese foods. That’s what we normally go out for, so having pizza and Chinese in the freezer helps. Oh, and BBQ, but a couple months ago we bought a smoker, so now we can have that too.
It’s just me and BF, and my 18 & 20 yo. I make sure the evening meal is taken care of, but breakfast and lunch are on your own. Dinners usually provide leftovers that can be transformed easily. Like tonight was Italian beef, and there is plenty for more meals. So over mashed potatoes or more sandwiches, or nachos. We still have ribs in the fridge from Friday night for east grab and go. Frozen lunches, canned goods, and good old lunch meat sandwiches.
I would like chick-fil-a. But we aren’t getting take out, just in case.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Apr 13, 2020 1:00:11 GMT
I cooked from the tiMe I got up and came down (around 7:30 am) and I just now ate dessert! Have to finish cleaning up kitchen and run dishwasher.
But...I won’t have to cook all week if I don’t want to, i meal prepped the heck out of today!!
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Post by SallyPA on Apr 13, 2020 2:04:42 GMT
It’s not the cooking. It’s the kitchen cleaning that has me fatigued.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 13, 2020 3:44:25 GMT
I am thinking this is the perfect time to teach (read make) kids how to cook. I would just not do it more than dinners four or five times a week. Eating is a basic need and everyone who can should learn how to cook. Kids eventually move out and the more they know the better.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Apr 14, 2020 1:51:38 GMT
I finally ended it by telling him I wouldn’t agree to him getting his normal money out when he had the opportunity to eat at home food that had already been purchased for him at his request.WOW! I’m not sure what you mean by wow? I said I wouldn’t agree, not that I tried to forbid or issue an ultimatum. I just don’t think it’s fair he gets to take out and have $$ meant to pay for food when I’m busting my ass to feed him and he’s bitching about having to make a sandwich. Marcy
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Apr 14, 2020 1:56:54 GMT
Me!! I've always enjoyed cooking and baking. And I'm used to cooking dinner 6-7 nights a week anyway... but I usually end up fixing lunch as well. I'm over it. LOL only another month to go.🤦♀️
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Post by mikewozowski on Apr 14, 2020 2:18:36 GMT
to everyone on this thread. if there are people in your house that are eating the food you make, the least they can do is help out in some way. help cooking or cleaning up, taking out the trash, help with laundry ... something!!!
i do most of the cooking, but i pretty much NEVER unload the dishwasher. someone helps with kitchen clean-up, even if they don't do it like i wish they would. if nobody helps, then i will go on strike. i have done it before. i am not afraid to do it again.
i don't remember who it was, but why would a husband need to go out to eat every breakfast and lunch every day? you must know that that costs quite a bit more than eating at home? honestly, i wouldn't even WANT to go out to eat breakfast and lunch every day even if it was free.
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Post by jubejubes on Apr 14, 2020 2:22:52 GMT
I’m not sure what you mean by wow? I said I wouldn’t agree, not that I tried to forbid or issue an ultimatum. I just don’t think it’s fair he gets to take out and have $$ meant to pay for food when I’m busting my ass to feed him and he’s bitching about having to make a sandwich. Marcy Ii am interpreting the WOW as, are you a wife or a mother? I understand that your husband has kidney issues and that you are trying your best to keep his diet healthy, but to what end? To where you hate each other? Why can't you re-arrange the budget so that you can both have money to have take out? Where is the partnership in your marriage? You are under a tonne of stress, but please, you can't save someone who doesn't want to save themself. You will loose every time.
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denim
Shy Member
Posts: 49
Jan 29, 2018 2:36:55 GMT
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Post by denim on Apr 14, 2020 2:34:00 GMT
I pretty much cook dinner most nights anyway, even if it’s low prep like fried rice. What i’m over is being asked at 10am “what’s for dinner?”. REALLY? You didn’t have that question prior to lockdown, but you always ate whatever was on the table. Eff off.
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Post by gar on Apr 14, 2020 8:41:00 GMT
It's just the 2 of us and I cook (mostly from scratch) every night anyway so that hasn't changed but it's lunch I'm bored with. It's normally only me and I don't know why it's so different having Dh here...it's not like he's demanding about what we have but I'm running out of ideas somehow.
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