Black Squares question

Thank you. Really.

I think your questions regarding the hashtag was answered.

As far as the symbolic gesture.... I read a few opinions before posting my black square with just the #blackouttuesday. I originally was not going to post because I felt like, why be another white voice in the way of black voices. But I did it for the white people who follow me. I am extremely introverted and any of what I do as far as social justice, etc. is very private to me. But I wanted a way to signal to other white people who may follow me to see that I am standing with Black Lives Matter. Honestly, there are probably white people who follow me who would never listen to a black person, but they may listen (or learn thru example) by looking at me. Basically using my white privilege in a way.

I took the blackout as a moment for businesses and influencers to stop peddling their goods and allow other voices to rise up. I am taking note of what businesses/influencers I follow are doing and will unfollow accordingly.

I didn't feel right just letting the square sit there with no support, so I chose to link stories to black women, mainly in the papercrafting/arts community, who are contributing to the dialogue, in my stories and add some info there. The idea is to elevate voices that are not always heard, so by continuing to post to those accounts. I don't have a ton of followers and honestly I am not that involved in social media to really get into it, but I figure if I can help in any little way, even if it makes 1 other person stop and think, or question, then it is something.

To me, using question marks in that way comes across as “duh. Why didn’t you already know that.” I don’t see it as passive at all. If she had said, “I’m not sure. It could be x? It could be y?” I might have taken it differently. However, I am also very raw after some interactions here this weekend and some irl as well so it is possible that I took it differently than intended.

I also didn’t say that I personally would not continue to learn things, I was Saying in general, coming at people with an aggressive tone is not going to help matters. You and I will move forward in becoming more aware. But others may not. That being said, I am more receptive to people posting things that come across as positive and purposeful rather than “you are probably just a racist” types of sentiments.

I think I understand what you’re saying, and what I’m reading is that you want to do something and your intentions are good. 

I think for me it’s important to consider that asking a person of color to tell me what to do can feel like labor, and there are LOTS of resources out there already. Books upon books, links, many of which have been shared here. Google, Twitter. Tons of resources. So if we can start there, it may alleviate the burden on someone we know. If that person of color is a friend or relative, maybe shifting to “what can I do FOR YOU” is a more helpful question? 

I don’t have all the answers, but that’s what I’ve come to in my reading. 

I understand what she is saying, but it isn't dumping grief. It is trying to navigate in a place that I have never been to before. It is asking for directions. It is like asking where the good restaurant is and which one to avoid. I am asking someone who is familiar with something that I am not. I am not burdening them with why I want to do something or how I feel somehow discriminated against. I am literally standing there with support in my hand and asking what is the best place to put this to work.

I’ve seen similar posts and interactions and have similar feelings. From this point of view I can also see why someone might ask a black person what they can do, because there are also posts saying what NOT to do (similar to the black squares and BLM hashtags) and people don’t want to do something that is seen as “wrong”.

It’s also REALLY REALLY difficult to have productive discussion around race online with people you don’t know and without the benefit of tone, body language, and context. It’s HARD to do it face to face, and even more difficult online. 

I’m guilty of letting my passion for things get the better of my keyboard fingers, that’s for sure. 

I can tell you why I changed all of my profile pics on social media to black squares. I have quite a few racist extended family members and old family friends on my social media. I want to make very clear to them that I do not agree with Trump and his shenanigans yesterday with the protesters. . I don’t agree with the way black people are Treated in this country as a whole. And I sure as hell don’t agree with the way that the police and judicial system treat black people in this country. I am in favor of long overdue societal change. I want that line drawn in the sand with these people. I realize that this is an incredibly tiny action that doesn’t amount to a whole lot compared with the actions of people who are out there working for change. But it does send a message that I’m not ok with what’s happening in our country right now. If nothing else they’ll think for even a second “huh. She doesn’t think like us” And I think that’s important.

I don’t have anything to say or share right now that’s more important than what’s being said and done by black people in this country. So all my stuff is dark, and I’m not taking up space with pictures of baby birds in my yard this week.
(I have most of these people hidden. But I know that my stuff shows up in their regularly because they always like and comment on it. They will see this.).

Keeping it light and fluffy means that I've never posted about social justice, politics or anything like that on FB. I have a lot of work clients on my page. I have FB to keep up with old friends, local news, post in groups I'm in or so that my family can keep up with what I'm doing. It's nice too look back at history and see where I was. I rarely post a 'status' in general. Just not my thing. I already spend enough time online every day, and prefer Instagram. I'm not oblivious - I talk to friends in real life, just haven't ever used social media in that way. 

She was hurt that more people had not posted publicly. Not me personally, as I haven't seen her in 20+ years. But when she said that, I responded and said that I had donated to important organizations even though I had not spoken out publicly, with a heart. In my head, I felt bad that she perceived that people didn't care, and I didn't want her to feel like that. She replied with 4 quotes from Dr Martin Luther King about being silent. And then a follow-up post that said "but thanks to your donation to whomever" and thanked the other person for SPEAKING OUT LOUD AND NOT MAKING ANONYMOUS DONATIONS. (in all caps) So I explained the places I donated to and why. I didn't want her to think I just threw some money out to check a box. That would be a gross thing to do. 

This was her response:
Let's be clear, the fact that you came on THIS post to speak directly to me and make it known that you gave your money to <redacted> further fuels the flame of "privilege" ; using your money just to tout and feel good about yourself. But if it means so much and you care so much, why be ANONYMOUS? Why weren't you loud and proud before I posted how I felt!! As loud as your silence was and as loud as the blatant disregard for BLACK LIVES!!
As you said, you were "trying " to be supportive. Please, don't do US any favors!! I'm BLACK EVERYDAY!! I HAVE A BLACK SON, HUSBAND, FATHER, BROTHER, NEPHEWS, COUSINS, AND FRIENDS WHOM I FEAR FOR AND PRAY FOR EVERY MINUTE OF EVERDAY!! 

There was more after that, but that's when I checked out of the conversation. There was nothing I was going to say that was going to be right in that situation. I've lost a big chunk of my income this year due to COVID, and it would have been easier to just post on Facebook if I was trying to 'check a box.' I thought it was important to give to people that can help more than I can by posting on my semi-private social media pages. And a lot of the resources under "what can a white person do" has 'donate' being one of the things to do. 

Like I said, sometimes it feels like everything is wrong. At any rate, I'll do my best to learn and do better.

I think some have misinterpreted what the black square meant today.

It morphed from a campaign started by two black music-industry veterans, Jamila Thomas, senior director of marketing at Atlantic Records, and Brianna Agyemang, senior artist campaign manager at Apple-owned music talent development firm Platoon. (Agyemang also used to work at Atlantic Records.) “Your black executives, artists, managers, staff, colleagues are drained, traumatized, hurt, scared, and angry,” Thomas wrote on Instagram. “I don’t want to sit on your Zoom calls talking about the black artists who are making you so much money, if you fail to address what’s happening to black people right now.” Together, they started a campaign called #THESHOWMUSTBEPAUSED, asking their colleagues in the music and entertainment space to “pause” work on Tuesday, June 2, in solidarity with the Black community.

 Instead of using this movement to reflect on how Black artists fuel culture and sharing resources support ongoing solidarity protests around the country, #THESHOWMUSTBEPAUSED has been co-opted by well-intentioned Instagrammers clogging up the #BlackLivesMatter feed. If you search the hashtag on the app, you’ll find almost nothing but black square posts. A number of black artists, including Kehlani and Little Nas X, have pointed out how this is ultimately an ineffective way to help, given that Instagram is a vital tool for organizing. A great example is the @justiceforgeorgenyc account, a centralized hub for information on daily protests in New York City. A flood of black squares wastes useful digital space that could be devoted to the real cause.
 


LINK

It does feel performative for ME to do it. Not because I don't ever show support, but because I never share support for anyone in this way - frames, colors, challenges etc. All those social media things that many people do for a day or week. Not saying they are bad to do - it's just never been something I do.

I did have a huge debate with myself about what I would or would not be posting on social media. I finally decided to support in a way that was genuine for me.

I think it does show awareness though, in particular how much we all benefit/enjoy what the black community  and other ethnic minorities is contributing to our lives, through music and theatre/entertainment which is the reason for calling it #theshowmustbepaused". Most of the black images I've seen personally that have been shared here are from the music industry and places like performing arts colleges and theatres. They don't have the hashtag of blacklivesmatter but the #the show must be stopped.
Our lives are so more enriched with the contribution they make and yet we're reluctant to speak out, when everyday we see the injustice they face. ( we is used in general terms). So having a global  blackout for one day bring it to our attention of how much we are missing.

I was never meant to "educate" us and that is why it's wrong to #blacklivesmatter It's a separate message. One is to bring it to our attention of how much they contribute, a contribution we take for granted and would miss if that contribution wasn't available and the other is to educate and show your support for the injustice. We shouldn't enjoy one and ignore the other.