Do you sometimes feel bringing children into this world....

I am so very sorry to hear the pain in your words. You are one of the Peas I always followed because of your humor - your posts often made me laugh. I wish you well and hope things improve for you.

i understand

I agree with all of this. 

My first thought when reading the OP was the story we just read at Passover and which we read every Passover at the Seder.  The Jews were slaves in Egypt and life really sucked for them, they were slaves, and the world was an awful broken place for them.  And yet they persisted, had children, and endured a long trek in the desert to finally arrive back in Israel. 

The world has been a horrific place on and off for Jews for 5780 years. There have been terrible times (and times of prosperity) and yet people have been able to find joy within their own families and communities during them.  I am glad they endured and chose to bring children into the world regardless, or I wouldn’t be here. 

I certainly understand the despair because these are awful, broken times right now. Especially for POC.  

When was the world peaceful, not violent, not a disaster at some level somewheres?

I have heard this "don't bring children into this world" since i was a child.

Who's standards will we use a measuring stick?

Every time this question comes up, I remember this article that I read several years ago.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/whats-the-best-time-in-history-to-be-born-2014-9%3Famp

It gives a lot of perspective. On a personal note, my mother brought me into the world during a time when she as a married woman could not have a credit card or a business loan in her own name, and under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation.

She herself was born into a world where women were expected to submit to their husbands, even if that meant bearing 11 children into desperate poverty and the abuse of an alcoholic father. Oh and my grandmother bore and raised most of those kids during the Depression, before there was any kind of widespread social safety net. She lived through both world wars and lost two children, one to a gun accident (we still haven’t solved the problem of people treating guns like cool toys for kids - sorry grandma) and one to a drunk driver because back in those days of the cops found you driving drunk they just told you to go home and sleep it off. Also because there were no seatbelt laws at that time.

Anyway. Things look incredibly bad right now, and they are in many ways. But *sixty thousand people* of all races held a peaceful protest in my city against police violence toward black people last night, and against systemic racism, and I honestly cannot imagine that happening in the Houston to which I moved 23 years ago. So I take that as a bright spot. And I’m proud to be raising young women who have grown up knowing and loving people from all different backgrounds, who recognize both their privilege and their responsibility, and who do not have any thoughts about limiting themselves to “women’s” careers as they go out and help make the world better.

I think children are a point of possibilitiy.. I am sad that I will probably will not have grandkids.. my son.. was the only possibility and he is probably marrying a woman older than him and not interested in kids.

But I don't think that's why people 'generally' have children. I'd say most of us have kids for the similar reasons...out of love, because we want to have that experience of nurturing and raising a child and with that comes a life in whatever times they happen to arrive in.



But isn't that always the way with all sorts of trials and tribulations some children have to deal with? I just don't look at it that way at all personally. Every human in the history of time has been born into an imperfect world and has to either endure it or seek to improve it. I had children to give them fulfilling experiences (and sometimes pretty mundane experiences ( ), the joy of being loved in two way streets of relationships with family etc etc and they have had/do have that. They have pressures and concerns I'm sure but I don't believe they outweigh all the love and happiness and good things they've enjoyed so far. I suspect most parents will feel guilty about something but there are never any guarantees are there

This is true for me as well. 

Despite all the garbage we see right now on TV and social media, I still truly believe that the overwhelming majority of the people in our world are genuinely good. We do have to work to be better... And we have to have a future generation that will do even better than us.

Never. Not once. My kids are amazing young adults. They care about others and are passionate about changing the world. And Alistair Cook said it best: "In the best of times, our days are numbered anyway. So it would be a crime against nature for any generation to take the world crisis so solemnly that it put off enjoying those things for which we were designed in the first place: the opportunity to do good work, to enjoy friends, to fall in love, to hit a ball, and to bounce a baby.”

DH and I were born during the Vietnam War. Our daughter was born during the Gulf War. Five days ago she gave birth to our first born grandchild, a son. We are in the midst of a confusing, horrible time right now but I look at that wonderful little baby and, -at the risk of sounding like a Hallmark card-, I feel immense hope for the future. His parents will raise him with ethics, morals and social justice. This child will change the world.

I remember these things too. Now we have JUST as scary things, and they keep popping up. Just different people, different places, but just as bad. What if you lived in Syria; would you still feel any optimism at all? What if you were a refugee trying to cross the Mediterranean and your children drowned. What if your ten year old daughter was stolen by the Boko Haram and you knew they would rape her, violently, over and over again? What if a family member was a victim of a bombing by Isil? What if your darling son was shot in the back while jogging in the freaking US? Same problems, different places, different people. Better for you and I, yes, but far far worse for so many others. You can't just look at your situation and say "Oh, things are so much better." Look at the world as a whole. Are they really that much better?
I think the world is way too effed up for our children to be able to fix it.