Do you sometimes feel bringing children into this world....

"As I thought about my remarks this morning, all I could see was my children. My 8-year-old son and 11-year-old daughter. The wondering of what does all of this look like through their eyes? I see their beauty and innocence, their intellect and brilliance and wonder how the world will snatch it away from them. And then my head begins to spin.

You see, because I’ve devoted my life and career to children, I am always palpably aware of their presence. I know they are watching what we do, and what we don’t do. Watching what we say, and what we don’t say. Every moment is instructive. They are listening for something, and if they only hear silence their heads are filled with noise. And this noise can be fear, this noise can be depression, this noise can be complacency, the noise can be grief.

And while I don’t condone the looting and vandalism, I know that it is a symptom not the problem. I know it personifies how I feel inside and I wonder if it’s not an opportunity to help my children see this too. That, as wrong as it may be, it is a symbol of our shattering, our devastation and our internal beating every time we see a life lost like George Floyd.

George Floyd called out to his mother. His cry reaches the heart of all of us moms. We see our sons and our daughters and we are in shambles.

But I think there is hope. I think there is hope because I come from a people who carry hope across generations. A people who despite devastation and terrorization and oppression have written spirituals that lift this whole nation up in hope. A people that have strengthened the fiber of our being even when forces are taking away our breath.

I also think there is hope because I study neuroscience and psychology and child development and these things tell us we can create a new narrative. But as mothers and fathers and educators we need to be intentional. This does not happen by chance.

Our brains are incredible, miraculous things that can be wired and rewired by our words and our actions. They call it neuroplasticity.

The science tells us that children are not born hating other children or rendering certain people invisible. This happens over time. You see every circumstance is a data point that forms an idea. Watching that black boy in pre-school get kicked out of class repeatedly is a data point, pretending as though the founding of this country did not come at the hands of genocide is a data point, silence in the aftermath of a killing is a data point.

And these data points form ideas. And these ideas begin to cluster and form schema. And this schema dictates behavior.

We are developing racist schema and reinforcing racist ideas in the minds of our children when we fail to talk to them about racism. When we fail to tell the truth about history. When we fail to point out injustice whether it’s overt or covert.

You see, when we put children at the center of our lives, our comfort or discomfort become less and less important.

Our words today can save lives tomorrow. Our children are the souls we will send into a time we will likely never see...."


More at link: www.bizjournals.com/portland/news/2020/06/02/kali-ladd.html