S/O: Political differences with your SO

My husband has changed dramatically. When we first were together (we're married 32 years; together 38) he was pretty conservative. Grew up in a Irish/Italian very Catholic household. Never knew a gay person (or so he thought), never knew a black person well, never knew a Jewish person - very Leave it to Beaver upbringing; sheltered and pretty conservative. He meets me: crazy NY girl with artsy family, Irish/German Jewish and already super liberal. Family had friends from all walks of life. When we were dating, he attended my sister's wedding and whispered to me "there are two men holding hands over there"...

Then the world changes - we have four daughters, so he became ardently feminist. Turns out he has a sister who is a lesbian and a brother who is gay - becomes Mr. LGBT rights. Trump becomes President and he becomes more liberal than me (well, not quite but if he gets another 4 years? He'll be a socialist before this is all over.) He just didn't know what he didn't know and as he got more aware, he radically changed. I have not.

I would still say he's pretty fiscally moderate but socially? Totally liberal.

I was always very liberal my husband was a little more in the middle but not anymore ,the action of this administration has disgusting him so much that he joined me on the left and swear that he will never vote for a Republican ever again.

The only time it has ever been an issue for us was when he said he was going to vote for a candidate who was anti-same sex marriage while I was actively lobbying for it. I posted about losing my shit on him on the old board and Lauren called me an asshole. It was a good day.

DH talks conservative but invariably votes one party to the left of me. I vote Liberal, he votes New Democrat, I vote New Democrat, he votes Green. I swear, if I told him I was going to vote Green he would vote Marxist-Leninist. His family, otoh, are squarely Conservative.

we've always been different in our political beliefs but in the past we often ended up in a similar place from different directions - I was a left-leaning moderate, he was a right-leaning moderate. Neither of us is affliated with a party nor ever has been.

In the past decade, things have changed. While neither of us voted for Obama (for different reasons), one of us came to see him as a good President and one of us didn't. Neither of us voted for Trump either but one of us has never felt Trump was doing a good job and one of us spent the first few years mansplaining that Trump actually was making some good decisions. One of us quietly supports BLM, one of us is on the All Lives Matter bandwagon.

It's not easy. Especially now the kids are old enough to express their own opinions. Dh no longer seems to be able to have a discussion and consider other points of view - we used to have good discussions and debates but the past few years, anything political has quickly devolved into an argument so I try really hard to avoid anything that might. I'm somewhat hopeful that might be slowly changing. I did have a decent conversation recently about the fact that white privilege didn't mean his life was easy and he didn't have to overcome obstacles (he grew up very poor), it just meant his skin colour wasn't one of the obstacles. I don't know if he got it, but he did at least let me talk. And he brought up the JKR controversy and that conversation (with me and the girls) went better than expected.

The older DH and I get, the more divided we are politically. It is really hard sometimes. DH is a kind man, great dad, good heart all that, so it blows my mind that he can support trump and his antics. Some days it bothers me, other days I laugh. Thank God one of our sons is more like me politically, so DH voted doesnt count.

my ex was a one issue/headline reactive voter... like the front page of the toronto sun newspaper blaring something that struck a chord and that was his stance. i would *try* to talk to him about reading past the headline, looking at the broader picture, researching issues and not voting with such a kneejerk reaction. he wasn't receptive.

i complained here before he got upset because i voted differently than him "you cancelled out my vote... we should vote as a family". okay, then vote the way i did - women didn't fight to get the vote for me to hand that over to *you* without a fight. i don't think so.

guy i am seeing now... he thinks i am really smart. so its actually an interesting and thoughtful conversation about issues. we are definitely more politically compatible.


this made me laugh!!

I started dating my now husband right after Trump was elected. I would not have dated him if he was a Trump supporter - on my match profile I put if you were conservative don't bother or something like that.

He's always been liberal, grew up in an city so much more diverse than where I was from.

I grew up in a very small conservative town so started as a Republican.
In my 20s after college I started being more independent and voting both sides.
After I had my son in my late 20s I changed to democrat and have only gotten more liberal the older I get.

DH and I are both extremely progressive. I couldn't be married to someone who differed drastically from me politically.

My husband and I were both pretty right leaning until this year. He probably wouldn’t have shifted views if not for me. I used to be terrified to broach politics with him, but I did it for my kids, for our country. And I’m glad I did. He’s become a happier person and much more open minded about civil rights which is what matters to me most. I will not live in a home of intolerance.

That is us, too. 

DH and I are similar yet very different. While I am still on the ballot as a Republican I didn't vote that way last Presidential election. I am much more socially liberal than him. He is more moderate. He is fiscally conservative - I'm more moderate. The only thing we do agree on is gun control and gun rights.

We've been together for 21 years and are both on the same page--both are very progressive. We disagree on a few things, but more about how things are handled than the actual issue and I'm really glad that we are so like minded. I'd have a very hard time with someone who was polar opposite than me on issues that I really care about.

So interesting. I’ve always held the opinion that people who are very well traveled (and I mean who have traveled for the sake of cultural experiences and social understandings, not just to vacation and cross it off the bucket list) tend to become less socially conservative. This opinion comes from years working in the travel industry and “psychoanalyzing” my clients. But we can have an entirely different thread in that topic.

But I feel ya! My husband is very much a Trump supporter because of his stance on immigration. I’m constantly reminding him that he married a Mexican American who’s great grandparents immigrated here. I’m in constant wonder!

I've always been liberal but not tied to a party. My husband wasn't very engaged in politics and policy when we first got together, I'd describe him as socially liberal but moderate. He was a bit apathetic about it all. That has changed. The more time goes on the more we move left. We don't align 100% on issues but we're mostly on the same page.