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Post by Linda on Jul 2, 2020 20:34:43 GMT
Yes For those of you saying no, will your kids be attending school in August? I don't know. My gut response based on the plan released by our school district is no but DH is inclined to yes (and dd13 is strongly a yes) and we haven't come to an agreement yet. we have a choice between in-person, masks suggested but not required, social distancing as feasible (not very) OR online - my preference is for online given the numbers here in Florida and the lack of a mask requirement. On the other hand, if cases keep increasing astronomically the way they currently are for the next 39 days, the state may have to postpone school openings or put everyone back on remote learning. So I'm waiting to see whether I need to fight this battle or let the numbers fight it for me.
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pbw
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Post by pbw on Jul 2, 2020 21:10:22 GMT
yes, because it's outside.
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on Jul 2, 2020 21:14:22 GMT
Yes For those of you saying no, will your kids be attending school in August? I'm a no. Yes, my kid will be attending the school I work at in a county with much higher numbers than the county we live in. She will be masking up and hand sanitizing. It's not a choice if we go to school or not in my house. I have to work. She needs to be in school. A bonfire/firepit/gathering/ that's OPTIONAL. Not REQUIRED.
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QueenoftheSloths
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jul 2, 2020 21:16:36 GMT
I would say yes, since it is a small group and outside. But there is one problem for me. You said he hates asking his friends about the precautions they will take. Is that because he is embarrassed because he thinks you are being overcautious? And if he is too embarrassed to ask about the precautions, is he going to be too embarrassed to be the odd man out if it turns out they don't take precautions?
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ashley
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Post by ashley on Jul 2, 2020 21:19:43 GMT
I probably would permit it. My girls are very serious about the risk of getting sick with covid, so I trust they’d be responsible while there. I’d send their own snacks and drinks, not for sharing, and some disinfecting wipes. I don’t think I’d allow it to be a regular occurrence, or if there were any more than that small number of people attending.
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Post by sam9 on Jul 2, 2020 21:24:41 GMT
I would allow it. My boys are playing baseball. I don’t love it, but they need it. I’m not impressed by the parents at the games though. I’m avoiding all of them. 😶
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Post by maryland on Jul 2, 2020 21:32:46 GMT
That's a hard decision. If they were going to be outside and sitting apart from each other, I would probably be good with that. But our area is doing well, so that makes a big difference in my decision. I hope the boy has a happy birthday!
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Post by Legacy Girl on Jul 2, 2020 21:33:58 GMT
Yes, but with the explicit instruction that there is to be no PDA. I'm sure that goes without saying, but it IS a 16th birthday party and those attending are teens.
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Post by busy on Jul 2, 2020 21:35:54 GMT
If he won't ask about the plans re: distancing, masks, etc., I would have low confidence that he'd abide by the guidelines if the other kids don't. And let's be honest... a lot of teens aren't following them. I can't think of the last time I saw a group of kids that size and age where there weren't a lot of group selfies and other close contact going on.
I'd probably be a no on the party, but I'd look for ways he could interact, in person, with friends one on one (and safely).
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peaname
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Post by peaname on Jul 2, 2020 21:36:29 GMT
No, especially if he’s the type that gets embarrassed by you asking about the rules because if the situation gets out of hand he’s probably not going to be comfortable leaving.
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Jul 2, 2020 21:38:02 GMT
In our area something like this is allowed and I’d be comfortable with it as long as they stay outside and there is no hugging/hand holding / kissing type closeness. If they are outside I don’t think masks are necessary.
Our area might be in a different position than yours though. You have to be comfortable with your decision.
There is so much grey. I find that very hard on parents.
My kids are attending day camps and masks aren’t worn if they’re outside. It’s what our gov’t has decided is ok since we have travel restrictions and very few cases.
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ashley
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Post by ashley on Jul 2, 2020 21:40:30 GMT
I think the part about his confidence to speak up about precautions is very important. Also, I will add it’s very easy to slip back into old habits and forget to distance, especially outside. My girls and I were at the trailer for a few days and noticed many people there were not distancing and two of my girls even acknowledged that while there — and in get away / vacation mode — they had forgotten about the pandemic. It didn’t effect us any since there are no shared surfaces or amenities, and we don’t know anyone so weren’t hanging out or socializing beyond our family of five. But perhaps had it been friends, it would hav been simple to slip into risky habits.
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Post by NanaKate on Jul 2, 2020 21:45:06 GMT
Me no, but gatherings of that size are still not ok in my county. What are the SIP guidelines for your area? Our gathering size is currently limited to 10 people. We are not in one of the areas with alarmingly increasing cases/hospitalizations. Yes. I would let him attend.
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Post by MichyM on Jul 2, 2020 21:48:40 GMT
Nope. 1. In my area we are only allowed to spend time with up to 5 people outside the household per week. 2. There will be inadvertent slip ups. I mean it’s 16 year olds Even if they’re super careful, it’ll still happen. 3. I haven’t Read replies yet but I think you’re going to get a myriad of responses from the peas. Call the parents of the birthday child. Discuss it with your child’s dad. Then decide. Good luck!
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Post by pierkiss on Jul 2, 2020 21:49:02 GMT
I personally wouldn’t. Not comfy with that size party yet. 2-3 I’d probably go for it as long as everyone was outside and socially distancing.
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Post by mom2samlibby on Jul 2, 2020 22:29:45 GMT
Yes, I would. Seems pretty low risk to me. I wouldn't require a mask since it's outside and that is going to be difficult if they are eating.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 2, 2020 22:33:26 GMT
I probably would permit it. My girls are very serious about the risk of getting sick with covid, so I trust they’d be responsible while there. I’d send their own snacks and drinks, not for sharing, and some disinfecting wipes. I don’t think I’d allow it to be a regular occurrence, or if there were any more than that small number of people attending. So you’re over cowering in your bathroom insisting you aren’t going to see anyone until there’s a vaccine? I thought that would be the case for most people.
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Post by Merge on Jul 2, 2020 22:35:08 GMT
No, not in Texas right now.
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moodyblue
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Post by moodyblue on Jul 2, 2020 22:40:31 GMT
It SOUNDS fairly low risk - BUT having gone to the neighbors' for a gathering with less than the max number of people allowed just last Friday, the chairs were NOT far enough apart to be socially distanced. One other neighbor and I were both uncomfortable with how close people were. I managed to get myself more separated from the others, but it’s really easy to forget and be too close to others.
A lot would depend on your particular area, but also who the other people are and how "social" they have been recently.
And I share the concern about how assertive and proactive your son will be when he gets there.
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ashley
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Post by ashley on Jul 2, 2020 23:01:30 GMT
I probably would permit it. My girls are very serious about the risk of getting sick with covid, so I trust they’d be responsible while there. I’d send their own snacks and drinks, not for sharing, and some disinfecting wipes. I don’t think I’d allow it to be a regular occurrence, or if there were any more than that small number of people attending. So you’re over cowering in your bathroom insisting you aren’t going to see anyone until there’s a vaccine? I thought that would be the case for most people. Not surprised you’re still being rude. I’ve never cowered in my bathroom, thankyouverymuch. (I desperately want to include rude words here).
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 2, 2020 23:11:37 GMT
Yes.
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on Jul 2, 2020 23:23:56 GMT
I probably would permit it. My girls are very serious about the risk of getting sick with covid, so I trust they’d be responsible while there. I’d send their own snacks and drinks, not for sharing, and some disinfecting wipes. I don’t think I’d allow it to be a regular occurrence, or if there were any more than that small number of people attending. So you’re over cowering in your bathroom insisting you aren’t going to see anyone until there’s a vaccine? I thought that would be the case for most people. wow! That's kinda harsh! I don't think many are "cowering in your bathroom insisting you aren’t going to see anyone until there’s a vaccine?" But I do think people are avoiding unnecessary possibilities of being exposed.
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Post by cmpeter on Jul 2, 2020 23:24:11 GMT
Re: school in the fall, we aren’t decided yet. My dd is in college and we are waiting until we have more details. It most likely a no, because she would need to live in the dorms and I doubt there will be many single rooms available. If they had that as an option AND our cases stay where they are, yes. But the school will be hybrid. Large classes online only. Smaller ones in the large lecture halls that used to hold the large classes.
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rickmer
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Post by rickmer on Jul 2, 2020 23:43:03 GMT
i would. DD has been doing some stuff like that. i wouldn't even insist on a mask outside but would remind her how to stay safe.
my concern is when you tell kids who are honest about what they are doing "no, you are not allowed"... they could turn around and lie next time, telling you what you wanna hear. that's my opinion from my experience with DD.
she always told me what she was doing and with who... i never said no and because she told me, i was able to go over with her how to stay safe or have a conversation about "well, i am worried about this" or "how would you handle this", etc. more than once, based on our conversation, she has *chosen* not to attend on her own.
but every kid is different so i do realize i am not sure i will handle things with her brothers the same way, if they aren't the same kind of kids.
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Post by dewryce on Jul 3, 2020 0:16:31 GMT
I would say yes, since it is a small group and outside. But there is one problem for me. You said he hates asking his friends about the precautions they will take. Is that because he is embarrassed because he thinks you are being overcautious? And if he is too embarrassed to ask about the precautions, is he going to be too embarrassed to be the odd man out if it turns out they don't take precautions? Exactly what I was going to ask. It’s one thing to be able to say to mom that yes, he’d do it. But in the moment standing in the middle of a group of friends? I would have had zero qualms about bucking peer pressure at that age, and I did. My husband? It’s still something that makes him anxious. Just depends on the person.
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ellen
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Post by ellen on Jul 3, 2020 0:52:08 GMT
In my area I would be ok with that. Our numbers are low. After our SAH restrictions were lifted a bit we've let our daughter hang out with kids in outdoor settings - always small groups and we've told her to pick her people. She can't hang out with a bunch of different people each time, but she can choose a few friends for her circle of people. This is exactly what we've done. The difference a couple friends and yes boyfriend make is tremendous. My kids have zero interest in huge gatherings or random meetings. They want a group of friends they can socialize with to get OUT OF THE HOUSE. We let a boy into our whole family's circle. Shortly before we got our SAH directive she had a "Is he a boyfriend or just a friend?" relationship with a boy. At the end of March she told us that when social distancing was over this boy was going to be her boyfriend. We figured she must really like him because she is the type of kid who would never bother otherwise. When school ended and restrictions were eased up we told her that social distancing was not going to be over for a long time and that if they were going to jump in now would be the time. She didn't say much, but the next day he was over at our place. We live on a lake for the summer and his family has a cabin about a five minute walk from our place. He's so nice and she is so happy. It's very sweet. They are both going to be seniors. I feel like their last year of school might be a shit show, so it's nice to see them happy and enjoying life.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jul 3, 2020 1:28:26 GMT
No. Absolutely no. The risk is too great.
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CeeScraps
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Post by CeeScraps on Jul 3, 2020 1:37:09 GMT
It would be a hard call for me as my dh is a cancer survivor. We’ve (our daughter and I) have taken him into consideration for each and everything we have done or not done during this time.
If you have any high risk people that he is around he probably should remain away from them after the party.
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Post by alexa11 on Jul 3, 2020 1:57:14 GMT
Yes, I would let him go.
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Post by chrissyc72 on Jul 3, 2020 2:54:07 GMT
Yes i would let him go. We have been having a few boys over the past few weeks to sit out by the fire.
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