Ok, so I think we should have this out

So much this. Much of this thread is, “it’s better than the old board” and “it’s just like other places on the Internet right now.” If those are our benchmarks no wonder many feel the way they do.

I’m only to page 10 but I‘ve got to list my grievances.

Opinions are not facts, not even alternative facts and inserting opinions as if they are facts creates issues

Religion/beliefs are not facts. Not even alternative facts inserting your religion as if it is a fact for people who do not worship that way will create issues.

Btw, alternative ‘facts’ are not facts in any way they are just what you/your group want normalized and accepted OR you have no facts so your going to insert your opinion or religion or beliefs as if they are facts. Which they are not.

You do not have to call people names to disagree with them.

Feelings are also not facts BUT feelings are valid AS FEELINGS. I recently had a discussion with a young person that everyone’s feelings are valid. Said young person countered with no those feelings are not valid if they aren’t based on truth. It took some discussion and even leaving the topic to return when FEELINGS were under control for that young person to see what I meant. How your feeling is how your feeling, no matter what actually happened. If you hurt someone’s feelings without meaning to doesn’t make those feelings any less hurt.

However, we are all responsible for our own feelings and what we do with them and how we react in wake of our feelings. No one else is responsible for how we react to our feelings ( wish I could have gotten that when I was 8 it would have saved a lot of grief ) But just because you feel something doesn’t make it right or wrong because it’s a feeling, not a fact, not an opinion. But what we do with it in reaction to our feelings is important. Do we reflect, do we withdraw, do we lash out, do we try to address how you feel with the person/s who made you feel that way?

I have made mistakes. I’ve said rude things. Some of the rude things I remember saying were said to peas whom I feel like are my friends now 🤞🏻

I love this place, I’m always sad when peas leave but I respect it. There’s many peas who I miss.

I’m thankful for the support I’ve found here, I’m thankful for the eye openings I’ve found here. And I’ve even benefited from one or two impatient bitchy comments that provided a fulcrum to my Lever of change.

The board is not ( my opinion ) a meaner place that it used to be, but we are all floundering about right now and feelings are getting hurt and things are said without thought. I think this place is awesome but as with all things I’m sure we can do better.

What I have observed and learned posting on this board as krazyscrapper , fred, & freddie. Mostly I hang out in the political threads because that is what I’m interested in.

While you are reading this keep in mind that I freely admit I purposely did or unintentionally did a lot of what I’m listing.  In the process of reading others posts that I found “rude” I would sometimes come to the realization I might be doing or perceived of doing the same thing and found I wanted to change.  Have I been successful?  Maybe not as much as I want.

What I krazyscrapper, aka fred, aka freddie have learned and observed while posting on this board.

1. Almost everything is subjective. There are very few truths that everyone can agree on.

2. A lot of stuff gets lost in the translation when posting on a general board like this. The reason is because you can’t see or hear the person posting. And I find personally it does make a difference.

3. This board is a microcosm of the world outside this board. We are able to interact with folks we would normally wouldn’t in our little world off this board. Which can be both a good thing and a not so good thing.

4. Opinions. Our opinions belong to each of as individuals. A lot of things go into the opinions we form. Some are silly like why would any restaurant think it’s a good idea to put apple slices in my turkey sandwich? Or more serious opinions. I think a lot us are protective of certain opinions we form. And that when we share them and they aren’t well received by others we become defensive. Because I also think way down deep we want everyone to agree with our opinions.

5. Opinions pushed as facts. It’s either or, they can’t be the same. Facts certainly go into forming one’s opinion, but I think other things also go into forming opinions as well. When facts are just that, facts. I mean I’m looking at the sky outside my place and it’s blue. That is a fact and not an opinion, the sky, at this moment, is blue.

6. Labeling. This I have a slight problem with. Too many times people will label someone something when in fact they aren’t what they are being labeled. There was a brief discussion on this thread that if someone made racist remarks should they be called on it. Certainly call them out on that remark or remarks , but unless you’re positive they are a full fledge racist like BunkerBoy don’t call the person a racist. Taking into consideration items 1 & 2 or the fact they may not have thought through what they were posting, a simple call out may be what is needed to point out the comment was inappropriate.

7. Which brings me to the hand slapping brigade. I understand why it should be done. But once the first person does it, does a whole army of hand slappers need to follow with their own version of hand slapping for this individual?  Wouldn’t one hand slapper post with a lot of likes be better then “beating up” the intended target?

8.  Knowing when to walk away from a discussion.  This is tough because I think a lot of us have a bit of Mrs. Tyler in us in that we want to get in the last word.  Or that if we try one more time we can get that person to agree with us.  You know because it’s your opinion and you want everyone to agree with it.   But there comes a point when it’s pointless and you just got to walk away.

9.  How we treat each other’s opinion.  I like it when people offer their opinions on things.  I may not agree with it but I still like reading it because it may cause me to ponder something I hadn’t thought about before.  I have also come to the sad realization that not everyone is going to agree with mine and for the most part I’m ok with it.  When I want to respond to someone’s  somewhat negative response to my opinion or respond to someone’s opinion I disagree with, I really try and do it in a straightforward way with no emotion.  But keeping in mind items 1& 2 it ain’t always that easy.  But you keep trying.

10.  Which brings me to the tone of a thread or a post.  Items 1&2 play a huge part in one’s perception of “tone”.  There is always someone who will have a problem with tone you set.  In other words you can’t please everyone and could go crazy trying so all you can do is the best that you can.

11.  Should there be a separate board for political threads?  Sure as soon as there is one for all medical and TMI threads.  I mean really people do you have to share everything?? (She said tongue in cheek)  Having said that this is a public board for non scrapbooking related subjects which means there will be a variety of topics discussed on this board.  Some we like more than others.  And since no one is forcing us to open those threads we aren’t a fan of I have adopted the attitude that if folks want to share that much information, god bless them and I ain’t ever opening one.  And as of this point I never have.  And it works for me. 

It just occurred to me that this might be my TMI thread.  Oh well I ain’t deleting it.

Do I think this board is worse or better then the other two peas board. No, I think they are about the same.   I think right now we collectively are under a lot of stress as there are a lot of things swirling around us that we have very little control over which can raise the “testy” level.

And this was exactly my point waaaaay upthread about why we shouldn't have a separate board for politics. To some people, any mention of a politician's name or the fact that some people have political opinions is too much. There would be constant demands to "take that to the political board." In fact, the more I think about it, I'm fairly sure we tried this on the old board during either the 2008 or 2012 election, and it was a dismal failure for that reason.

busy, I don’t think there’s an easy solution. . It’s great that people get called out on their behavior, but then you also see that it’s not straight across the board and some get passes more than others. Several have already mentioned a separate forum, whether for fluff or politics, but that doesn’t seem like something some want either. So here we sit and some peas are now either visiting less, posting only on the GS&P section or have left/are ready to leave. I’d venture to say that if another board were to form without politics and with moderation, a few peas would be willing to join.

I agree we should treat each other better but my point was for the ones who were on the old board that’s threatening to leave. Why leave NOW to make a point. Why didn’t they leave then. Why did they stick it out for years and leave now when it’s a lot friendlier. You can say you don’t compare. Well you have to. It’s the same dang board with a lot less crazy people and mean girls in my opinion.

Excellent point.

This unwillingness to change would explain why you continued to weirdly like old posts and tag me the day after playing victim and saying you didn't want to engage in this very thread. You're a bully. And your claim that "all" you did was post Elaine's full name is bullshit. You posted geographical info and information about some of her other activities. You engage in a lot of revisionist history to excuse your own bad behavior.

I'd like to think it's because some of us are older and wiser than we were on the old bucket. I used to love the drama. That was 20 years ago. Now I'm sick of it and of negativity - everywhere, not just here. It gets old. Also this is a smaller group. Back then the board moved quickly and you could wander off to another thread if the Pub drama or the latest CK fiasco became too much. I became politically active - volunteering, working on campaigns (both D & R), running for office (as an Independent) about 9 years ago. It's exhausting. I do not need an education in politics from here. If I leave it will be because this board does not hold any value for me and my time could be spent in ways that I enjoy. I pop in to see what's up but it's pretty predictable. I do wander off to GS sometimes.

Specifically, we could all try to not name call or curse at each other.  Do peas act like that in real life to people's faces and think it's okay just because they have different parsnip preferences?  

This may be an age or regional difference. My family/friend group does not get its panties bunched about curse words.

I sincerely apologized almost immediately. Again, I am very sorry to have disagreed with the word you chose to use. You and I had never interacted before then, so there is no "history" between us. If you would like to discuss further, please feel free to reach out via PM.

I cannot imagine how bringing a disagreement up over and over again, as so many people do here when parties disagree (not specifically you) is helpful in keeping this board a positive place to spend time.

I didn't say my panties were bunched.  I asked if in real life peas think cursing and name calling are appropriate.  

I swear regularly IRL. Not gratuitously but for emphasis, comedic effect, etc. I don’t swear around kids nor in a professional environment, but around my friends... absolutely.