Ok, so I think we should have this out

I was at Two Peas in a Bucket from the beginning, in my opinion all the boards here are nicer than Two Peas were.

Really? Constant? You see....I just don't see that! I see that those who support Trump get short shrift for reasons that have been discussed ad infinitum. Other than that I still see people taking time to type out helpful advice when someone is asking about dealing with parents with dementia, children with phobias, sibling issues, or interesting threads about baking, cleaning suggestions, Netflix, celebrating new babies/puppies/kittens, celebrities giving their kids weird names, travel suggestions etc etc etc. And a few kind ones?? I have to admit I find that quite...upsetting? insulting? Sad? Because I'd hazard a guess that the vast majority of us are kind, you only have to read the threads where people are struggling with illness, bereavement etc to see that. I don't know...but I just can't really relate to that outside of the political threads and the occasionally one that goes south for some reason, unless you expect nothing but rainbows and unicorns which just isn't going to happen when there's such a diverse group of 'real life' women here.

And I'll dare to say it again - if you (general you) enjoy lighthearted threads - start one! No one ever got shot down for asking everyone what their favourite ice cream is But please don't just sit back and wait for everyone to entertain you though, that's really not fair. Contribute, join in, add something, but to bemoan that no one is providing you with your daily dose of what you enjoy when you don't add anything seems a tad unfair.

And I'll just add that I'm saying this not to be 'mean', I'm really so non-confrontational but I would be very, very sad to see this place die on it's feet.

Hear, hear gar. Well said.

Remember Yubon? She loved animals and I'll give her credit for that, but wow, could she be mean.

I agree with Gar. To say there are only a few kind peas here is insulting. I like the people here or I wouldn't be here. We have a few outliers, and a few peas that can get testy about certain issues, but the majority of the people here are kind and supportive. And honestly, sometimes I like the dust ups. It adds a little drama. It would be boring here if it was always candy and rainbows.

Perception is reality.

I’m saying there’s absolute meanness that likely comes as a result of being behind a keyboard. Cowardly dog piling and mob mentality. Not constantly, but often enough. After time it becomes more and more obvious who has tried to build a Billy Bad Ass persona on the board and in order to convince the lackeys of her strength and cleverness, they have to tear into the perceived weaker members.

I’m saying that people come at posters on a personal level and bypass any attempt at reasonable discussion.

That very frequently there is less discussion about a topic and more group think. Little learning and more striving for the win.

Hyperbole may sometimes have its place in an argument but vitriol doesn’t.

Reasoned, sound arguments disagreeing with the masses (and whatever novel media story is brewing) is seldom met with reason. Ad hominem attacks come fast accompanied by quotes from memes and CNN sound bites. No one is allowed to be middle of the road or caution laying down pitchforks until more information comes in. You’re either with us or against us. And when additional information sometimes comes out, changing the original narrative, few people can admit they were wrong and/or apologize for taking things too far.

There’s little empathy or willingness to see things from a different viewpoint. But ironically, a group can be VERY vocal about XYZ one month, gang up on someone HARD, but the next month take the opposite stance if one of their own faces the same issue. I have noticed lately that calling this behavior out has happened more often, though.

You have strong opinions. You like to be right and seem to think that strong, even callous wording will make your opinion more right. I’m not sure that you realize that they are just that - opinions. Stating them louder, accompanying them with the F bomb, jumping on anyone that disagrees, doesn’t make them more factual.

Sure, absolutely share how and why you disagree with someone. Counter an argument with knowledge you’ve gained through experience or education. But recognize that if you haven’t changed someone’s mind it is either because they feel as strongly about their views as you do, and/or your argument wasn’t strong enough to sway them.

Basically, everyone, myself included, should remember the Golden Rule and not be a dick.

I think overall this board is kinder than the old board where I lurked for many many years and was afraid to post.

I think right now some posters are unhappy with the Covid and political threads and also the way those two topics overlap. For me, because of my family situation, Covid is the overriding topic in my life. I want to be well-informed about each new scientific study, each change in recommendations, and I really do want to understand people who are thinking about it much differently than I and my loved ones are, even if it's sometimes stressful to me.

I also can't avoid politics when thinking about Covid, because so much of what I'm experiencing right now is tied to decisions made by my county, state, and federal governments.

That's a lot of projection, assumptions and broad-brushing. Just my opinion, of course.

If you have ever worked with anyone with schizophrenia, you know that is patently untrue. 

And if this statement gets labeled as “bullying” there’s nothing else to say. 

All I am suggesting is depending on the person, a post can be perceived differently. I think since the delivery here is hard to understand sometimes due to the nature of a message board. Someone may have been attacked via pea mail. Doesn't mean the general population would see it. There are a few martyrs on this board, yes, but I think if a pea speaks up about their experience it should not be simply dismissed because your (general population) experience is different.

And again, ftr, I have not been bullied or attacked. I am just considering people have different viewpoints about their experience here. My life experience clouds my perception of situations that come up. As I am sure it does for all of us.

And no, I have not worked with anyone (knowingly) who had schizophrenia. Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder, yes.

and @peano, no, I do not think your statement was bullying. You were reacting to my statement with your life experience. 

One of their own? Is this the same thinking as tiers of peas? I never figured who they were either 😉 😀

If you are posting on a fluff thread and get a rude response, that’s a one-off. She did the only thing that she could do, which was to leave the thread. It has happened to lots of us, myself included. Remember that Desert-something Pea who attacked just about everyone? However, I was talking about political posts, where you can or should expect to get pushback.

nope, that's not a one off at all. And that goes beyond simply rude. And I don't think this thread was strictly meant to be about political posts. but, you asked so I gave the example.