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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 9, 2020 21:30:16 GMT
All I am suggesting is depending on the person, a post can be perceived differently. I think since the delivery here is hard to understand sometimes due to the nature of a message board. Someone may have been attacked via pea mail. Doesn't mean the general population would see it. There are a few martyrs on this board, yes, but I think if a pea speaks up about their experience it should not be simply dismissed because your (general population) experience is different. And again, ftr, I have not been bullied or attacked. I am just considering people have different viewpoints about their experience here. My life experience clouds my perception of situations that come up. As I am sure it does for all of us. And no, I have not worked with anyone (knowingly) who had schizophrenia. Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder, yes. and @peano, no, I do not think your statement was bullying. You were reacting to my statement with your life experience. I completely agree! I have not been bullied or attacked myself, but I have seen it. Just because it hasn’t happened to me, doesn’t mean that isn’t how others feel. |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 9, 2020 21:34:04 GMT
Since you are genuniely asking may I direct you to a perfectly innocent post where workingclassdog asks for helpful advice on getting a St. Bernard and she is absolutely eviscerated? No one here should be spoken to like that, no one. It's sickening. If you are posting on a fluff thread and get a rude response, that’s a one-off. She did the only thing that she could do, which was to leave the thread. It has happened to lots of us, myself included. Remember that Desert-something Pea who attacked just about everyone? However, I was talking about political posts, where you can or should expect to get pushback. The majority of the peas in this discussion are not talking about political threads. They are talking about the other threads. If you notice, most of them our not in the political threads. I’m sorry mollycoddle I posted as I was catching up on the thread. You can disregard this response  |
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Post by gar on Jul 9, 2020 21:35:50 GMT
So what do we do now?
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Deleted
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Nov 23, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2020 21:45:54 GMT
With so many peas saying they see bullying going on, you might want to ask yourself why you don't. Dismissing it doesn't solve the problem.
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Post by gar on Jul 9, 2020 21:52:44 GMT
With so many peas saying they see bullying going on, you might want to ask yourself why you don't. Dismissing it doesn't solve the problem. Who you're addressing here? |
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Post by mollycoddle on Jul 9, 2020 22:07:02 GMT
If you are posting on a fluff thread and get a rude response, that’s a one-off. She did the only thing that she could do, which was to leave the thread. It has happened to lots of us, myself included. Remember that Desert-something Pea who attacked just about everyone? However, I was talking about political posts, where you can or should expect to get pushback. The majority of the peas in this discussion are not talking about political threads. They are talking about the other threads. If you notice, most of them our not in the political threads. I’m sorry mollycoddle I posted as I was catching up on the thread. You can disregard this response Quite all right. |
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955 
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jul 9, 2020 22:07:25 GMT
Honestly? Nothing. The peas who don't see bullying will continue to not see bullying. The peas who do feel bullied will come here less or leave. This seems to be another one of those things that there can't be any understanding between sides. It looks like the majority of posters feel there is no bullying, and that those who do feel bullied are wrong to feel that way and should just get over it. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 23, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2020 22:08:17 GMT
With so many peas saying they see bullying going on, you might want to ask yourself why you don't. Dismissing it doesn't solve the problem. Who you're addressing here? anyone |
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Post by mollycoddle on Jul 9, 2020 22:14:48 GMT
Honestly? Nothing. The peas who don't see bullying will continue to not see bullying. The peas who do feel bullied will come here less or leave. This seems to be another one of those things that there can't be any understanding between sides. It looks like the majority of posters feel there is no bullying, and that those who do feel bullied are wrong to feel that way and should just get over it. I am sorry if you or anyone else feels bullied. I believe people who say that it happens. I mostly post on political threads, and most of the people I engage with give as good as they get. I really do skim a lot of threads, so maybe it would pay to be more observant. I hope that people choose to stick around. |
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Post by gar on Jul 9, 2020 22:46:33 GMT
Who you're addressing here? anyone Do you have any ideas? |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Jul 9, 2020 22:52:15 GMT
I've been bullied but I stick around (albeit not as much as before but that's because of life). I just ignore the mean kids and read the fun stuff.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Jul 9, 2020 22:52:16 GMT
Since you asked, gar, I have felt eviscerated by you when I have dared to criticize the British political system or monarchy. I criticized the nation and government; you criticized me. That's personal. Two totally different things. You never would have responded that way if I'd expressed the same views about the US. Go find the thread if you want. Ask yourself if your responses to me were really necessary, if your tone might have made me feel harassed, if your suggestion that I have no right to say anything because I've lived in the US for so long is fair and reasonable. If it is, then you certainly have no right to comment on any thread about the US. Period. Do you think that's fair? I'd never say someone who doesn't live here should just shut up because they don't know what they are talking about. Anyone is free to criticize the US however they want. Just something to think about. Since you asked. And yes, this was one of the threads that pushed me ever further from this board. And I'd never have said anything if it weren't for you directly asking. |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Jul 9, 2020 22:54:00 GMT
Late to the party here, but my view is that compared to the old board, with the ghastly Mrs T and Lauren, this board is not too bad. Even at a time like this when we all have cabin fever and heightened emotions. It all depends on perspective. I am good friends on FB with the "ghastly" Mrs T and she is very kind. |
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Jul 9, 2020 23:01:32 GMT
Remember Yubon? She loved animals and I'll give her credit for that, but wow, could she be mean. I agree with Gar. To say there are only a few kind peas here is insulting. I like the people here or I wouldn't be here. We have a few outliers, and a few peas that can get testy about certain issues, but the majority of the people here are kind and supportive. And honestly, sometimes I like the dust ups. It adds a little drama. It would be boring here if it was always candy and rainbows. Yubon was beyond mean. I had to block her when she said something horrible about my daughter, who was dealing with major mental illness issues at the time. She was vile. Just vile. I don't want dust ups. I want this to be a place we can come for support and help and know we're not going to get kicked while we're down. I have a lot of health problems and a couple of people here said I couldn't possibly have that much wrong with me, that I needed therapy, that I must be making it all up. I'm not. I am just incredibly unlucky. But that really was unnecessary, it was hurtful, and I was specifically asking for help with something, and I got treated horribly. Yes, it was only by 2 or 3 women, but that's not the point, is it? Clearly this isn't a safe place anymore for those of us with real problems who just want help. |
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Post by gar on Jul 9, 2020 23:03:19 GMT
Honestly? Nothing. The peas who don't see bullying will continue to not see bullying. The peas who do feel bullied will come here less or leave. I think you’re probably right. People feel how they feel. I do also think that it’s also part of a cycle, the normal ebb and flow of any community over a period of time where there’s a core of ‘forever’ members and then others who come as newbies and settle right in and those who feel it’s time to move on. That’s not to say I won’t be sorry to see some folk wander away but I do feel 'Twas ever thus. |
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Post by gar on Jul 9, 2020 23:05:46 GMT
Since you asked, gar, I have felt eviscerated by you when I have dared to criticize the British political system or monarchy. I criticized the nation and government; you criticized me. That's personal. Two totally different things. You never would have responded that way if I'd expressed the same views about the US. Go find the thread if you want. Ask yourself if your responses to me were really necessary, if your tone might have made me feel harassed, if your suggestion that I have no right to say anything because I've lived in the US for so long is fair and reasonable. If it is, then you certainly have no right to comment on any thread about the US. Period. Do you think that's fair? I'd never say someone who doesn't live here should just shut up because they don't know what they are talking about. Anyone is free to criticize the US however they want. Just something to think about. Since you asked. And yes, this was one of the threads that pushed me ever further from this board. And I'd never have said anything if it weren't for you directly asking. I will have a look in the morning. |
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 9, 2020 23:39:48 GMT
I will have a look in the morning. Direct me to the thread too please, because I can't quite believe you would have abused someone personally. |
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Post by pjaye on Jul 10, 2020 1:57:29 GMT
Clearly this isn't a safe place anymore for those of us with real problems who just want help. Whoever claimed any of the boards of two peas was going to be a "safe space"? You are aware that the unofficial motto has always been "put on your big girl pants"? Maybe that's what you want this place to be, but it never has been and never will be. Plus there is ZERO in the history of the board that could give anyone that idea. There are people here from all different demographics and there is no way it is ever going to be a "safe space" for anyone and frankly it's completely ridiculous to look on an internet message board for that anyway. If anyone chooses to put all the details of their personal lives and problems and medical history out there - then other people are going to comment on that and no-one can expect (demand) to get only warm and fuzzy comments. I get that you have real problems, but as you've found out, no one wants to hear about them all the time - people get tired of it. Everyone comes here for their own reasons and for quite a few they want a diversion - and that diversion isn't to constantly be someone else's pseudo-therapist...and you don't listen to any advice you do get anyway and it gets frustrating all round. This board will never be able to give you the help you need and that isn't the fault of the people who post here and that doesn't make them unkind, or bullies either. You just have very unrealistic expectations. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 10, 2020 2:35:36 GMT
[quote timestamp="1594259632" source="/post/3006112/thread" author="@ But ironically, a group can be VERY vocal about XYZ one month, gang up on someone HARD, but the next month take the opposite stance if one of their own faces the same issue. I have noticed lately that calling this behavior out has happened more often, though. One of their own? Is this the same thinking as tiers of peas? I never figured who they were either 😉 😀 i think we often vilify the non pea and support the pea, even in the same type of situation. Whichever side the pea is on, that is the side the board generally takes |
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lizacreates
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by lizacreates on Jul 10, 2020 15:41:01 GMT
Since you asked, gar , I have felt eviscerated by you when I have dared to criticize the British political system or monarchy. I criticized the nation and government; you criticized me. That's personal. Two totally different things. You never would have responded that way if I'd expressed the same views about the US. Go find the thread if you want. Ask yourself if your responses to me were really necessary, if your tone might have made me feel harassed, if your suggestion that I have no right to say anything because I've lived in the US for so long is fair and reasonable. If it is, then you certainly have no right to comment on any thread about the US. Period. Do you think that's fair? I'd never say someone who doesn't live here should just shut up because they don't know what they are talking about. Anyone is free to criticize the US however they want. Just something to think about. Since you asked. And yes, this was one of the threads that pushed me ever further from this board. And I'd never have said anything if it weren't for you directly asking. Zella, that wasn't gar. It was someone else. |
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Post by mellyw on Jul 10, 2020 19:22:24 GMT
Late to the party here, but my view is that compared to the old board, with the ghastly Mrs T and Lauren, this board is not too bad. Even at a time like this when we all have cabin fever and heightened emotions. It all depends on perspective. I am good friends on FB with the "ghastly" Mrs T and she is very kind. Ha! I’ll never forget her telling me my DH had a mental problem because he didn’t agree with what was happening in Iraq. She was comparing to her brother-in-law, I believe, who’d been there once. Of course, my DH, who’d been active military and fought in the first gulf war had obviously seen too much, if he wasn’t towing the government line. Nothing like a know it all who’d never been exposed to military life telling me my DH and his friends who agreed had a screw loose. |
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Post by Zee on Jul 10, 2020 19:54:01 GMT
Clearly this isn't a safe place anymore for those of us with real problems who just want help. Whoever claimed any of the boards of two peas was going to be a "safe space"? You are aware that the unofficial motto has always been "put on your big girl pants"? Maybe that's what you want this place to be, but it never has been and never will be. Plus there is ZERO in the history of the board that could give anyone that idea. There are people here from all different demographics and there is no way it is ever going to be a "safe space" for anyone and frankly it's completely ridiculous to look on an internet message board for that anyway. If anyone chooses to put all the details of their personal lives and problems and medical history out there - then other people are going to comment on that and no-one can expect (demand) to get only warm and fuzzy comments. I get that you have real problems, but as you've found out, no one wants to hear about them all the time - people get tired of it. Everyone comes here for their own reasons and for quite a few they want a diversion - and that diversion isn't to constantly be someone else's pseudo-therapist...and you don't listen to any advice you do get anyway and it gets frustrating all round. This board will never be able to give you the help you need and that isn't the fault of the people who post here and that doesn't make them unkind, or bullies either. You just have very unrealistic expectations. My God YES. ALL OF THIS. |
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Post by gar on Jul 10, 2020 19:59:25 GMT
It all depends on perspective. I am good friends on FB with the "ghastly" Mrs T and she is very kind. Ha! I’ll never forget her telling me my DH had a mental problem because he didn’t agree with what was happening in Iraq. She was comparing to her brother-in-law, I believe, who’d been there once. Of course, my DH, who’d been active military and fought in the first gulf war had obviously seen too much, if he wasn’t towing the government line. Nothing like a know it all who’d never been exposed to military life telling me my DH and his friends who agreed had a screw loose. And the infamous thread in 2012 where she berated the British for using the Olympic opening ceremony (which included a sequence with dancers dressed in nurses and doctors uniforms) to take a dig at America about universal health care  Ethnocentricity anyone? |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 23, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2020 20:14:47 GMT
Since you asked, gar , I have felt eviscerated by you when I have dared to criticize the British political system or monarchy. I criticized the nation and government; you criticized me. That's personal. Two totally different things. You never would have responded that way if I'd expressed the same views about the US. Go find the thread if you want. Ask yourself if your responses to me were really necessary, if your tone might have made me feel harassed, if your suggestion that I have no right to say anything because I've lived in the US for so long is fair and reasonable. If it is, then you certainly have no right to comment on any thread about the US. Period. Do you think that's fair? I'd never say someone who doesn't live here should just shut up because they don't know what they are talking about. Anyone is free to criticize the US however they want. Just something to think about. Since you asked. And yes, this was one of the threads that pushed me ever further from this board. And I'd never have said anything if it weren't for you directly asking. I just can't imagine gar eviscerating anyone, it's not her MO.
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Post by mellyw on Jul 10, 2020 20:15:45 GMT
Ha! I’ll never forget her telling me my DH had a mental problem because he didn’t agree with what was happening in Iraq. She was comparing to her brother-in-law, I believe, who’d been there once. Of course, my DH, who’d been active military and fought in the first gulf war had obviously seen too much, if he wasn’t towing the government line. Nothing like a know it all who’d never been exposed to military life telling me my DH and his friends who agreed had a screw loose. And the infamous thread in 2012 where she berated the British for using the Olympic opening ceremony (which included a sequence with dancers dressed in nurses and doctors uniforms) to take a dig at America about universal health care Ethnocentricity anyone? Honestly, I still chortle when I think of that thread, gar. As an American who used the NHS when I lived there, I really enjoyed that part of the opening ceremonies. Then I wandered into then 2Peas and just felt a little godsmacked at the insistence that it was a dig at Americans. The more she dug in, the funnier it became. |
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 10, 2020 20:22:29 GMT
It all depends on perspective. I am good friends on FB with the "ghastly" Mrs T and she is very kind. Ha! I’ll never forget her telling me my DH had a mental problem because he didn’t agree with what was happening in Iraq. She was comparing to her brother-in-law, I believe, who’d been there once. Of course, my DH, who’d been active military and fought in the first gulf war had obviously seen too much, if he wasn’t towing the government line. Nothing like a know it all who’d never been exposed to military life telling me my DH and his friends who agreed had a screw loose. Heh. Back atcha’: She told me I was consumed by irrational fear and needed therapy. That because I wrote that I was afraid of guns. But I was wrong to be afraid ’cause guns are just an object...a tool. Like a nerf ball. Or pliers. So I needed therapy.  |
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Post by gar on Jul 10, 2020 20:23:07 GMT
And the infamous thread in 2012 where she berated the British for using the Olympic opening ceremony (which included a sequence with dancers dressed in nurses and doctors uniforms) to take a dig at America about universal health care Ethnocentricity anyone? Honestly, I still chortle when I think of that thread, gar. As an American who used the NHS when I lived there, I really enjoyed that part of the opening ceremonies. Then I wandered into then 2Peas and just felt a little godsmacked at the insistence that it was a dig at Americans. The more she dug in, the funnier it became. I'm not sure I laughed at the time to be honest, but I can laugh now because it's so ridiculous  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 23, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2020 20:24:40 GMT
Ha! I’ll never forget her telling me my DH had a mental problem because he didn’t agree with what was happening in Iraq. She was comparing to her brother-in-law, I believe, who’d been there once. Of course, my DH, who’d been active military and fought in the first gulf war had obviously seen too much, if he wasn’t towing the government line. Nothing like a know it all who’d never been exposed to military life telling me my DH and his friends who agreed had a screw loose. And the infamous thread in 2012 where she berated the British for using the Olympic opening ceremony (which included a sequence with dancers dressed in nurses and doctors uniforms) to take a dig at America about universal health care It's been 8 years, it's time we admitted it was only done to annoy Mrs T  |
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,920
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Jul 10, 2020 20:27:42 GMT
Since you asked, gar , I have felt eviscerated by you when I have dared to criticize the British political system or monarchy. I criticized the nation and government; you criticized me. That's personal. Two totally different things. You never would have responded that way if I'd expressed the same views about the US. Go find the thread if you want. Ask yourself if your responses to me were really necessary, if your tone might have made me feel harassed, if your suggestion that I have no right to say anything because I've lived in the US for so long is fair and reasonable. If it is, then you certainly have no right to comment on any thread about the US. Period. Do you think that's fair? I'd never say someone who doesn't live here should just shut up because they don't know what they are talking about. Anyone is free to criticize the US however they want. Just something to think about. Since you asked. And yes, this was one of the threads that pushed me ever further from this board. And I'd never have said anything if it weren't for you directly asking. I just can't imagine gar eviscerating anyone, it's not her MO. I'm scratching my head here too. Gar is more likely to laugh and agree with anyone criticising our politics than to get defensive. I can remember some corrections to inaccuracies about the monarchy, but nothing nasty from gar - she's not like that. |
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 10, 2020 20:31:21 GMT
Honestly, I still chortle when I think of that thread, gar. As an American who used the NHS when I lived there, I really enjoyed that part of the opening ceremonies. Then I wandered into then 2Peas and just felt a little godsmacked at the insistence that it was a dig at Americans. The more she dug in, the funnier it became. I'm not sure I laughed at the time to be honest, but I can laugh now because it's so ridiculous I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t shake the memory of that thread. I just mentioned it here last week. LOL. One clarification, mellyw: She claimed the NHS tribute was a rebuke to American conservatives.Get you persecution straight. |
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Ethnocentricity anyone?
