Ok, so I think we should have this out

That is a shame, genuinely, and I apologise because I added to the political bent. I do think it’s hard these days to separate the politics from almost everything that happening in your country but I would also like this thread to re-run and continue with the constructive discussion that was started.

And just as a P.S. I really hope you don’t ever leave jeremysgirl, truly 😊

Managing your emotional response to an online forum helped me tremendously. I recommend everyone give it a go. Not everything deserves your reaction. More often than not the other personal is miserable and the only reason why you’d go back and forth is if you are miserable too. There is a direct correlation between days I spend more than a couple mins on 2peas and me needing a distraction from something out of my control.


A note: Whatever you think about Olan is fine. I don’t have a desire to change the collective mind. I’m fine being viewed as mentally ill, angry, vapid, bitter, whatever adjective you can come up with. Be on notice that who you are is just about as clear as who I am though! We are all a collection of the words we’ve typed in that box.

Personally, I don’t want to have to jump around to a bunch of different sub boards. I read a majority of the threads on this board (exception would be the game ones that I rarely open or threads about TV shows I’ve never watched) and some of the most interesting and/or informative have been the ones that I didn't open right away because I thought I wouldn’t be interested. And yes, you never know what direction a thread will go, and that’s often when it gets most interesting.

Almost all of us have topics that can trigger emotions and those can change as our circumstances change. We all might wish we could never have to face those things when we are here or on Facebook or Instagram, or in person, but that isn’t the way life works. People say what they are thinking and feeling, and they aren’t taking into account the one (or more) person reading it who may be upset by it. Can we really expect people to never post or talk about things without considering EVERYONE individually who may see or hear?

Insensitive words or phrases get mentioned a lot by people in some of the grief groups I belong to, and sometimes I agree that people are obtuse or ignorant, but sometimes I think people expect too much when they think people should censor what they say so as to not trigger someone else who is only one member of the audience. How I react to anything, including simply the title on a thread, is up to me, and what’s going on in my own life. Just because I miss my husband terribly and sometimes find Facebook posts or threads here like "post a picture if you’re still married to your soulmate" or "my husband is making me crazy" or whatever, to be triggers, doesn’t mean I get to tell other people NOT to post, or to label it or move it to another forum. I have to deal with stuff even when I’m having a bad day or I’m riding a grief wave.

Some days I can’t handle the posts in my grief-specific groups, or something here, so I scroll on by or don’t read them. That’s a perfectly legitimate way to cope. Other days I read and manage just fine and some days I might even post on that thread. That’s ME, taking control of things so I can be okay at that moment. It’s also recognizing that nothing is all about me, and what makes me comfortable or triggered at that time. It’s balancing the good with the difficult, and knowing I can’t hide away from everything that stresses me (at least not forever🙃).

hmm... I don't think I like parsnips, but this sounds good. I might have to try it.

  When they're raw they're too spicy.

If we have really gotten to the point where we can't discern this then there's no hope for us. I believe that the vast majority of the peas know exactly when a line gets crossed and this is just ruse to excuse people being mean. Seriously. I have very thick skin. I am used to having a different opinion and approach to things among my real life circle. And I know exactly when someone crosses the line from saying what needs to be heard and saying it in way that is meant to put someone down.

I’ve yet to block anyone nor do I feel bullied. But I often don’t engage in posting because I don’t want to deal with the people who DON’T bother to read your post fully or choose to put words in my mouth/read into things that aren’t there. The vast majority of Peas are not like this, but there are enough that it’s super annoying.

I hate dealing with people like that IRL, so why bother with them on the board.

ETA: I also feel like the odd man out as someone who is younger and of a different generation, a non-black POC, and someone with very different life experiences. Given all that, I often choose to delete a post before hitting submit because dealing with any fallout is not worth my time.

😂😂 Graduated from handslaps to pitchforks.

Now going back to read the entire thread.

I totally agree with this. I live in boondocks northern MN. Though I hope I am enlightened, educated, informed, and traveled. I am NOT worldy. At all. There are just some things I am not aware of, or know much about. When I post things that are different or not fully read up on, it would be nice to be educated nicely on it. Not called a name, or bullied! That's how we learn things. You don't learn anything if you shut down right away because you are called stupid, or a name.

It does seem like the board is a meaner place, lately. I anticipated another volatile election year this year on the board. Now w/the recent news events and Covid it's even worse. So, I stick to the threads that I enjoy and just don't read the rest. There are peas that annoy me and I'm sure, vice versa. So, I just don't engage them. Life's too short to read the threads that I don't like. I've been lurking since 1999. I've seen ups, downs and everything in between. The reason I don't block anyone is that I am too curious. Despite the ups and downs I'm here for the long haul. I have friends here. The ladies on the dinner thread have been wonderful to me. I'm having a blast on the Animal Crossings thread, too. The Birthday thread is a little piece of kindness here. When I see something that irritates me I try and scroll by on the way to more interesting-to-me threads.

Yes! agree, and right there with you.

By the way, I don't think political posts should be in a separate forum. I only have to look to page 2 to see threads about COVID and what looks like LGBTQ rights and Supreme Court rulings labeled as Political. Does this mean they would end up on a separate board?
Essentially then, nearly any subject someone might be uncomfortable with could be named political and moved out. It seems suspiciously like a way to silence people or not have to confront some uncomfortable things going on in the world.

And I admit my bias here, but I think its a time when everyone needs to see very clearly what is happening in the world.

And as others have said, I find some other threads triggering, namely some religious threads. Should they be moved to another forum so I don't have to see them?

Perfectly said. It used to be used for support but that's hardly the case anymore.

I have no idea what thread you're referring to. However, I've read this three times and I still cannot comprehend what you mean by the bolded part. Would you care to clarify?