Ok, so I think we should have this out

What I've taken from this thread:
- that most subjects go political sooner or later
- that some people can take any given subject and make it all about them
- that some people are articulate enough to present their point of view without confrontation, and their points are all the stronger
- that parsnips are delicious (and anyone who thinks otherwise is just wrong! )
- that radishes can be cooked in a stew and become like potatoes - I NEVER KNEW THAT. I've added radishes to my shopping list for the first time in decades. Thank you!

To summarise: there's a LOT of stress and politics about this year, I need to find the block feature again, to give appreciation where it is due (thank you jeremysgirl and monklady123), there is always an opinion to be shared and knowledge to gain.

That's why I keep coming back.

catmom said: Now this is an interesting conversation. How do we respond to people who say things that we feel strongly are wrong i.e. racism? I think we should confront things every time we hear them. However, I think its most effective to confront the specific statement that's a problem factually

I don't have a problem with someone telling someone they are wrong. Especially in a discussion like racism.

Yes. This x 1000.

1. Roasted radishes are manna from heaven.

2. Olan, vapid is the very last word I would think of to describe you. Vapid is any of the Housewives from fill in the blank locale.

3. I checked out the Annabella/Sandy Hook post because I did have a vague memory of being one of the first to post on it because she posted later at night. And like it or not, if anyone has any sort of expertise with SH, it is I, so I believe I was speaking from that place, both as a resident and a parent whose child went through this school system. But I admit that it is a bit of a hot button item for me, and the "bless your heart" was bitchy. I would never say anything like what was said that supposedly ran her off the board to anyone.

4. @bonanza In response to "So you are okay with making a large number of people uncomfortable and anxious by the number and content and even titles of the political threads. Just because you can't be bothered to put them all in one place where those that are interested can have at it as much as they want?" What I see is you saying we are responsible for moderating your feelings. The Peas have no control over your feelings. This is not anyone's responsibility but your own. You must learn how to deal with your own feelings in whatever way works for you. And if you believe that this is ganging up on you, or being a bully etc. then you are wrong. This is the work we all must do in order to be healthy.

I have been thinking a lot about my many years on 2 Peas in the past few weeks. I was just telling my therapist about the many surrogate mothers I've had over the years who have helped me grow. The people who stepped in and stepped up for me, born with a mother who didn't want to be, and no other close female relatives.

The Peas have been this for me too and I am oh so grateful for the many years of laughter and camaraderie, household and cooking advice, parenting experiences, learning about life in other parts of the country and the world, learning about how others' experiences have shaped them, learning how to speak to others in a caring way, and yes, help in learning what I believe, and how to support those beliefs, and how to stand firm in those beliefs when others may be calling me a bully and a mean girl. You shopping enablers can just shove off though!

Thank you for quoting what I wanted to speak to that elaine said I suck at narrowing down quotes on my ipad!

I saw this happen several times and decided to not participate in most of the race threads. There are peas that insisted if you weren’t discussing race here then you were part of the problem. They felt/feel silence is acceptance. 

During my silence from the board I was able to get both of my neighborhood Facebook groups to look at their admin/moderators and see they were only white. They are now both actively adding people to diversify. My actions outside here feel much more productive than just typing out my rage and anger. Some peas get stuck in their way being the only way. 

I think what some peas misunderstand, is that they really aren’t teaching or helping when they are yelling, mocking or belittling someone. 

That’s a fair point. Personally, I would pose questions like elsewhere, where I’d feel I was less likely to be talked down to. I’m still learning in quite a few things, and I haven’t arrived - I know this too well. It wouldn’t hurt for people to extend that same grace, that was likely previously extended to them.

2peas shouldn’t be the only place we discuss politics, anti-racism, COVID safety etc.

If you feel shut down here please find other resources. We all have a societal responsibility.

Yes, basically I was ripped apart for being white. How is that my fault?

It is unseasonably hot and dry here in Pittsburgh too. 2 inches under average rainfall so far. I'm concerned about the corn and further out, the autumn leaves. Extended heat in the 90's which is quite unusual.

They also have had mild winters the last two years. My preference is 40-75 so I'm baking. Thank God for AC but we are on the 3rd floor and that thing is working OT.

I think I completely agree with you.

I read through this whole thread and noticed some interesting things. In a thread asking if people are bullies, we have people choosing to get defensive and lash out at others because of how they phrased a post. We have people who don't want every thread to turn political making this one more and more political by mentioning that the subject keeps coming up. We have people calling others names and then getting upset when it's pointed out. I'm not saying anything at all about these points, they're just some things I noticed while reading.

Personally, I think not wanting to engage in politics and choosing to stay away from them altogether (here or otherwise) is a HUGE sign of privilege. Not everyone gets to just shut it off and walk away, especially with the dumpster fire we have "leading" the US. I'm a democratic socialist - don't expect me to sugarcoat my political beliefs, haha. Anyway, I've been lurking a lot more than I've been posting ever since my office reopened a month ago though I wasn't a huge poster anyway. Similar to jeremysgirl, I very often feel like an outsider. I'm one of the youngest people here, so I don't understand a lot of life experiences or references. I was never on the old board, so there is zero frame of reference for what it was like back there. I don't feel that I have many peers that I can relate to. Maybe I'm mistaken - who else here is in their 20s/early 30s? Anyone? However, I understand that that is a "me" problem and that I should be trying harder to engage with my more experienced Peas (I don't want to use the word "older" as I don't think of anybody here as old) and get to know you all a bit better, and see more of where you're coming from. I also agree that big opinions should be backed up, not in an attacking way, but because we're on a public forum - this place is for conversation! Sharing why you (general you) feel a certain way about something is part of discourse. It shouldn't be something that people should be made to feel bad about or ridiculed over. We're on a message board. What's your message? Let's discuss it!

Aside from all of this, the most important thing we can do here is choose how we interact with this board. We choose to click on certain threads. We choose to believe that general words are about us. We choose to react to posts and we choose how those reactions come out - silly, snarky, defensive, downright mean. We're making active CHOICES and if we aren't happy here, then we can make the CHOICE to step back and take a breather. If you are consciously choosing to click into a thread that you know will make you all riled up, then ask yourself, why are you putting yourself into that position? As far as I know, nobody is forcing us to read all of the threads or stay on the board at all - I don't mean to leave permanently, but it's okay to not log on every day if you feel it's detrimental. I also think that we American Peas need to remind ourselves that not everybody here is American and not everybody here shares the same cultural values and practices. I see that problem on Reddit all the time, too. We're a pretty self-centered nation (Covid has proven that 10x over) and I feel that that is something that we should be thinking about and working on. Before anyone latches on to "we" and tells me that they aren't like that at all..... if my words don't apply to you, then that's great! But don't twist them. Leave them be and let somebody else reflect on them instead.

You've all made me hungry for parsnip soup, by the way....

I’m mid 30’s and have been around since I was in my early 20’s I don’t recall feeling like I couldn’t relate. I enjoyed the kid posts (good chunk of the board in those days) and actually felt apart of the community. I love how you framed the choices as ACTIVE. I struggled with that. It’s definitely a choice how you choose to engage online though.

I wonder if aging children meant peas have fewer “non-touchy” topics to agree on. Because good or bad a community is a group of like minded people.

You are right...and I owe you and apology for some of the comments I made to you....

My opinion...the old board was WAY nastier.  There were some straight up extremely mean peas that had intent to be vicious.  I have had some pretty nasty stuff thrown my way about Muslims/Arabs/Palestinians.  

I also think that the US is hugely divided as we do not have a current leader trying to unite us but wantonly dividing us.  Naturally, that is going to find it's way here.

I look at this board much like a grocery store.  I frequent the aisles that my desired goodies are on and I walk on past the "parsnips".  I can't ask the parsnips to be removed just because I don't like them...I just walk on by.