2Peas Refugees Single Ladies Thread ... 07/25 ... share!

i have nothing new to report - not even sure why i post on this thread?! end of september my guy and i will be seeing each other for a year.

he is the first guy i dated since my split - sometimes i wish i dated a bit more (like at all) just to see what else is out there. but i met a great guy so it seemed weird to go out on dates with people trying to find someone when i really liked the guy i was already dating. so much for my swinging single life!!

as for the opinion question - i like tall guys. i am 5'9 and have always been attracted to tall - the taller the better. guy i am with now is 6'.

funny, when current guy (bf? what do i call him?) puts a string of compliments together about me "you are beautiful, smart..." etc the word TALL often ends up there. so clearly HE prefers tall too!!  lol!

I left the FB dating group. If that’s internet dating then I’ll stay single. Women posting that they want a date and then when men respond, they say they are too ugly/fat/stupid/old/ no an would want them until they get more responses saying they aren’t . Young girls looking for older men (or maybe they are using photos from 20 years ago . And the ones just wanting a ONS which I expected. I want to meet people, date, have fun - not deal with childish drama!

Statted chatting w a guy tonight. Seems nice. We have lots in common. Find out he is 5'5" Damn it all.

I wish I had advice. I broke up with Mr Optimistic...3 weeks ago? Something like that. Hearing from Mistake Aussie made me realize I’d just sort of settled for this guy as primary relationship. I want someone I feel like that about. And I botched it probably, it feels like I did. 

I spent the weekend with 24. He is an absolute delight, in more ways than one, so you know...just went with it. I’m busy all week and he leaves Friday for the north where he lives (and that just for the next month then back to the US) so probably for the best that not continue. I mean...🤷‍♀️ 

Can you do it via text? How long have you been seeing each other for? If it hasn’t been very long you can just text him and say something like, “I’ve realized that I’m looking for something else and this isn’t working for me.”

Oh yes- over a couple of years ago before I found FWB. I don't even remember his name, but he had used pics that were at least 5 years younger- maybe more and had touched them up. He was younger than me- I think like 6 years. Anyway, the guy that I met looked very old and had had both hips replaced. He walked like he needed a cane. And so boring... He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship on the date and I'm thinking that's no problem bud... But then he texted for about a week making suggestive remarks- one was about my mouth. I ignored him. I see him now on sites and just laugh, but I do feel sorry for the women who'll get suckered like me.

My guy is in the Keys for the next 10 days. He's falling down on the job...

River- What happened?  Did I miss something?

melanieg- Your luck is like mine! 

Thanks Ashley. We've been seeing each other practically everyday for 5 months now with sleep overs on weekends.

Mostly things are great. He's usually so gentle and caring and affectionate. But then sometimes he gets moody if I make the wrong joke or say something that doesn't come out just right and it's taken wrong. Then he sulks and makes everyone around him miserable.

I've had enough walking on egg shells and being miserable to last a lifetime. That makes me paranoid that I'm falling into what I did with my ex.

I'm also paranoid that I'm looking to hard for red flags because of my past and maybe reading too much into it.

I want to agree with this. I had no chemistry with my dh when I met him, but plenty of chemistry with other loser boyfriends. I think as you get older you need to look past chemistry and more towards a joy of being with each other? a friendship. Chemistry/lust can only last so long, sometimes. Now I feel like my dh and I have lots of chemistry. So if you like him, I would keep seeing him!

I have another date with the chef at 4:30 today. I'm really looking forward to it. I do enjoy him- not convinced he is the one but this is very pleasant. We text about every other day and it is fun. It is so weird to have cuddling and sex off the table but it does cut down on the complications. I'm hopeful but I'm going to check my dating sites this week. But for now this is really fun- we'll see what happens.

I'm still in love with my ex but I'm trying to let those feelings go.
My problem was I was so very happy for 2 years, loved everything about my life and the relationship, and then I got a text, out of nowhere, dumping me. Unbelievable. So I'm not only mourning him, I'm mourning my life we shared- beer making, his garden, cooking, painting, breweries, record stores, ethnic food, bands, his house, his dog. I just loved it all.

About height. I'm 5'7" and my ex says he is 5'6" but I think he added an inch. I had him screened out initially because of his height and I spent the first month dating him being bothered by his height, and then it didn't bother me at all. I'm not going to screen out guys because of their height anymore- I'm not going to miss a good one because of something like that.

River, it is valid and legitimate to not want to feel like you are tiptoeing around in your relationship. I think if an issue makes you so uncomfortable, it is reasonable to end the relationship.

Have you spoken to him about his behaviour? It doesn’t sound like it would be an easy thing to change, he would need to put in a significant effort to change that established pattern of his.

It might be beneficial to consider therapy, particularly if you haven’t addressed the issue with him or don’t feel comfortable doing so. Especially since you mentioned it was something that reminded you of your previous relationship — even if therapy doesn’t change the current issue in your relationship now it would be empowering for you to develop some new tools in dealing with uncomfortable habits and potential conflicts.