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Post by pjaye on Aug 5, 2020 18:07:37 GMT
For all we know she could have had an inheritance or something or have wealthy family or whatever. Who knows I don't actually care about her finances, but having money from sources other than her husband's income to pay the bills is a different thing to saying you "don't have" those bills at all. I'm sticking with some sort of cult. How else does a family "not have" all of the grocery/utilities/insurance bills? |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by ashley on Aug 5, 2020 18:13:12 GMT
I feel gossipy, but I’m pretty sure in the past myshelly has mentioned that they have money from family — father or grandfather, possibly.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 5, 2020 18:13:35 GMT
For all we know she could have had an inheritance or something or have wealthy family or whatever. Who knows I don't actually care about her finances, but having money from sources other than her husband's income to pay the bills is a different thing to saying you "don't have" those bills at all. I'm sticking with some sort of cult. How else does a family "not have" all of the grocery/utilities/insurance bills? Our house and cars are paid for. Someone else pays for our phones and insurance. We don’t have credit card debt or student loans. We have a retirement plan through work. Our only regular monthly bills are internet, water, and electricity. I wasn’t counting groceries. I was putting that in with disposable income since we can choose how much we spend on that and it varies so widely. |
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Post by gar on Aug 5, 2020 18:15:31 GMT
How else does a family "not have" all of the grocery/utilities/insurance bills? When someone else pays them for you. |
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Post by pjaye on Aug 5, 2020 18:29:27 GMT
When someone else pays them for you. I'd phrase that differently, to me that would be "I don't pay for", but if I'm saying I don't have - then it means those bills don't exist. I don't have a gas bill...because I only have electricity, therefore no gas, no bill. I guess to others they are both the same thing, but it sounds wrong to me! |
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Post by Merge on Aug 5, 2020 18:47:01 GMT
I think that part of the issue is that, even if I can accept it’s temporary, I’m losing this time. I don’t want future time, I want this time, when my kids are these ages. I’m losing this part of their childhood. I don’t care if I get time in the future, that’s not the time I want. I’ll happily give away or lose out on that time because it has no value to me. So, it doesn’t matter to me if I don’t have the time in the future. I don’t particularly care if I come out on the other side if the other side is years away. And I think that’s a valid choice. Watching my children grow into cool humans is definitely worth less than watching a NASCAR race. For sure. I'm questioning all the growing up years with my kids when we couldn't afford to do any of those things - we never visited Disney, never took them to shows, never took fancy vacations. They wore a lot of hand me downs and Goodwill clothes. I guess all the fun we had and the memories we made going to the park, doing crafts and playing make believe weren't enough to make our lives worth living and I should have just ended it all for all of us. (If you're reading this as a mom of young kids and feel "less" because you can't afford to do all the things one poster says make life worth living, please don't. I promise my kids had just as much fun catching green anole lizards in the backyard and building a fort out of appliance boxes as anyone ever did at Disney World.) |
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Deleted
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Nov 23, 2024 18:24:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2020 19:00:35 GMT
No, as usual, she's telling other people what to do and she's the last person who should be lecturing people on how to behave on a message board. You know what? I barely engage with you if I can help it. I have been on this board amost 20 years now. There were a few years early on when I acted a brat, I said a couple of things that pissed people off but I *apologized* for those things years ago. You harbor a grudge like no one I have ever seen on this board, and that says a lot. I've never done a thing to you other than offend you about a comment I made about this being an American board. Like back during the Bush days and the war. You never ever let me or anyone else here forget it. I'm sick of it. I have a lot of fun here and share as many kind things as I can here. I honestly don't know wtf is your obsession with me. I swear Jesus you remind me of Dorinda from HW. That's how I picture you, a mean, hateful spitelful bitter thing. Back on ignore you go, but I'm in no mood today. FFS man, you are ridiculous lady, you embarrass yourself. The Queen stays Queen. |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Aug 5, 2020 19:03:32 GMT
I think that part of the issue is that, even if I can accept it’s temporary, I’m losing this time. I don’t want future time, I want this time, when my kids are these ages. I’m losing this part of their childhood. I don’t care if I get time in the future, that’s not the time I want. I’ll happily give away or lose out on that time because it has no value to me. I can understand this to an extent. I disagree about the lack of value in the future but ITA about missing this time. You can't always get this time back, sure vacations can be bumped but I can't just tell the school I want my son to repeat his senior year because he missed out. So I get that, totally. My son missed out on milestones because of something with a 0.3% risk of infection and a 97% survival rate (in our area, as of today) and I'm pissed about it (fwiw I'm pissed at people who won't wear a mask and are causing this to carry on so long too). It's ok to mourn that and fuck anyone who tells you you're not allow to mourn what you're missing out on (regardless of how trivial it may seem to them, they're not you). Now, that said, if you are suicidal please seek help. Not just because you're at risk of actually going through with but because you're likely not at your top performance and being the best mom/wife you can be. Get help to make the days a little less dark. Feel free to PM me, I get it (to an extent, I'm still a bit envious that you can dress your family in matching outfits  ) |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2020 19:04:36 GMT
Watching my children grow into cool humans is definitely worth less than watching a NASCAR race. For sure. I'm questioning all the growing up years with my kids when we couldn't afford to do any of those things - we never visited Disney, never took them to shows, never took fancy vacations. They wore a lot of hand me downs and Goodwill clothes. I guess all the fun we had and the memories we made going to the park, doing crafts and playing make believe weren't enough to make our lives worth living and I should have just ended it all for all of us. (If you're reading this as a mom of young kids and feel "less" because you can't afford to do all the things one poster says make life worth living, please don't. I promise my kids had just as much fun catching green anole lizards in the backyard and building a fort out of appliance boxes as anyone ever did at Disney World.) Same. Until dd was 14, we were pretty broke most of those years. Some years we would manage a long weekend in state vacation but that was it for the most part (she and I did go to Disney once with family, dh stayed home). In state zoos and museums were our entertainment along with parks, family bike rides, etc. Our house was old, tiny and cramped. But we had a big yard and dd had a blast playing outside. She has an imagination and was able to put it to work. Life is often what you make it. But hey, even now that we can and do many more things, we still have fun at home. I love to travel. But I also love being at home with my family, reading, watching tv, playing online, baking, scrapping, cuddling with our dogs, going for walks etc. Our minds and bodies can still stay busy and happy. |
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
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Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on Aug 5, 2020 19:09:12 GMT
Why do seniors think they are invincible? Maybe they've just reached the point of having lived through wars, had long lives, they feel they've survived just fine so far so they're willing to take their chances? I don't know. This is my mother's philosophy. She lives alone and aid comes in 20 hours a week. We visit, but don't hug and she only leaves for Dr appointments and I get her groceries. She has come to my house and my sister's a couple of times since this began. |
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
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Post by sassyangel on Aug 5, 2020 19:11:46 GMT
Watching my children grow into cool humans is definitely worth less than watching a NASCAR race. For sure. I'm questioning all the growing up years with my kids when we couldn't afford to do any of those things - we never visited Disney, never took them to shows, never took fancy vacations. They wore a lot of hand me downs and Goodwill clothes. I guess all the fun we had and the memories we made going to the park, doing crafts and playing make believe weren't enough to make our lives worth living and I should have just ended it all for all of us. (If you're reading this as a mom of young kids and feel "less" because you can't afford to do all the things one poster says make life worth living, please don't. I promise my kids had just as much fun catching green anole lizards in the backyard and building a fort out of appliance boxes as anyone ever did at Disney World.) Those kind of things were a very special treat for us kids when I was growing up. We never took fancy vacations, but occasionally were taken to the movies by my grandma or we went to an amusement park for a birthday present, or a special theater trip very maybe twice in my childhood. I truly appreciated them all the more, because of that. My normal fun things consisted of stuff like this, playing in the park and no frills things like that. As the oldest, my clothes were handed down, but I certainly had hand me down clothes from my parents friends. It taught me the value of things and gave me appreciation for new clothes, even now when I can buy my own. I had a happy childhood, and certainly don’t feel shortchanged because it wasn’t full of weekly experiences. |
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Post by lbp on Aug 5, 2020 19:22:50 GMT
Well, we already know at least one dumbass that lives there. WOW! Bully much? Totally unnecessary. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2020 19:25:02 GMT
I really could give too shits about where she gets her money and what she does with it. What I find EXTREMELY offensive and disgusting are the comments that the elderly people are disposable. I mean WTF!!!!!!!  ??!!!!!! To me...that says a lot about a person when all that matters is material and screw older people because they have already expended their time. Soooooooooo many times I scroll on by threads, but this....I am felt the need to comment but I am so disgusted, I am having difficulty finding the correct words to respond. |
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Post by berty on Aug 5, 2020 19:44:22 GMT
. You can refuse treatment at any point. DNRs exist for this reason. Wills exist for this reason. Verbally telling your doctor not to take extraordinary measures before shit goes sideways exists for a reason. I have personally witnessed too many situations where a person did not want medical treatment, but received it anyway because their family wanted it to believe any of that would work. Were these people legal adults? Did they have actual legal documents or a DNR? I don't think many medical professionals would risk breaking the law to appease family members. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 5, 2020 19:47:12 GMT
come, now-- that's just 'anecdotal' evidence. That doesn't count. (for you, anyway; it would count if it was her anecdote.)  ok now I know where to put my medical poa & my living will. In all honesty, when my mom really started to decline her doctor was the one who gave us a little magnetic pouch that said LIVING WILL in big red letters on the front and told us to put a copy of her health directives in it on the fridge so it would be easy for anyone to find in case of an emergency. |
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Aug 5, 2020 19:58:46 GMT
I see them as core, not superficial. They are superficial. The people I love, those are the things worth living for. If I contract Covid and kill my mother, my relationship with her won't be simply postponed or required to wear a mask and stay 6 ft away, it will be over. There are a lot of really worthwhile pursuits that one can do while isolating from those outside of your household. And for you to imply otherwise is insulting. There are ways to continue relationships as well. Zoom and skype exist. They are fun. My friend and I baked sourdough bread together videoing over Facebook messenger. What fun we had checking in every hour and kneading our loaves of bread together. This is something we never would have done if not for Covid. You just have to be creative. Maybe it is because I have a mental illness. I have trained myself to be creative and celebrate joy wherever I find it. The level of gratitude I feel for a pleasant day is something maybe the average person doesn't understand. I admit, during this virus time in our collective lives, so many people are looking so damn shallow to me. I have been thinking a lot about resiliency lately. You seem like a very resilient person. I think some people are wired to have a better outlook on life, but others gain it through adversity, experiences and watching others show resiliency. There are some things in my life right now that I have felt pretty hopeless over at times, but then I recall all of the people I know who have one thing after the next happen in their lives and they get through it. Or people who have lived through wars or natural disasters and truly lost everything. I think in a lot of situations, we have not had the life experiences that help to create resiliency. This is one of those experiences. Some people are able to see some positive come out of it, despite being sad, angry, and anxious about what is happening (or not happening) in our lives. Others are having a harder time with that. It's hard for me to understand the viewpoint that life isn't worth living if one can't go to plays or other events. The most we can do is to enjoy the time we do have with our loved ones and see the positives. One friend just posted that she has really connected with her son who is going to college in a few weeks. Prior to the shutdown he was in all kinds of activities and was never home. Now they go for daily walks, have dinner together, and are enjoying each other's company. She is grateful to have had this time with him and it will be even harder to send him to college. He also missed out on a lot of activities and events that he was planning on or had earned through different achievements with his music. But they were looking at what they had gained rather than what they had lost. I think the saddest part about myshelly's posts is that she does not seem to be able to do that. We all have things that we have lost out on during the pandemic. It is what we do with those feelings that matters. Getting stuck in anger or hopelessness does not help the situation. |
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pinklady
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Post by pinklady on Aug 5, 2020 20:04:10 GMT
Well, we already know at least one dumbass that lives there. WOW! Bully much? Totally unnecessary. Go hand slap somewhere else and while your at it look up the definition of bully because is definitely doesn’t fit here. |
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Post by gar on Aug 5, 2020 20:04:51 GMT
If you're reading this as a mom of young kids and feel "less" because you can't afford to do all the things one poster says make life worth living, please don't. I promise my kids had just as much fun catching green anole lizards in the backyard and building a fort out of appliance boxes as anyone ever did at Disney World. I reckon that was a normal upbringing for the vast majority of the Pea kids, whether there was the money to do nonstop trips or not. Children thrive on using their imaginations, on make-believe and even on being bored sometimes...it teaches them tons of valuable life. skills alongside some exciting trips to museums, shows and the like, don't you think? Sorry but that's not bullying - name calling, yes, but not bullying. And nor is my pointing it out bullying either. We really must use that word more accurately and cautiously because every time it's wrongly flung out there it weakens the case for people who are truly bullied. |
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Post by airforcemomof1 on Aug 5, 2020 20:06:54 GMT
I don’t post very often but I am going to say my piece and then may block myshelly. Until the nursing home that my husband is in was locked down on March 12, I drove over an hour each way every other day to visit him. I was there so often other residents thought I worked there. Yes, there are some there that live in an comatose state but the majority are finding joy everyday. They are loved by me and the staff and lots of activities are planned regularly. Of course the majority would prefer to still be in their own homes. Unfortunately they are there for reasons that prevent living in their own home. But there are those that were homeless and are living a much more healthy and enjoyable life in the nursing home. I have yet to talk with any that say they would prefer death.
I continue to visit my husband thru a window at least twice a week. I live alone and have not been in a store except the very occasional run to a Dollar General to get milk and bread since March 12. I either use curb pickup or have my groceries delivered. I have only seen my son a few times thru a glass door. I did not get to see him get married. The wedding that was planned had to be cancelled and instead they were married outside the city county building by the mayor with no family in attendance. I have allowed no visitors or family in my house. Why you may ask? Because even though I am a senior, I am not ready to die. I am doing everything I can to stay healthy so I can be allowed back in the nursing home to hug and kiss my husband and visit the other residents that I have grown to love. Selfish idiots like myshelly are preventing families being together again. I hope she enjoys Thanksgiving and Christmas with her family although she will probably be considering suicide because perhaps it won’t be the holidays she usually has. I will spend mine visiting thru a window and a glass door.
How often has she even been in a nursing home? Has she had someone she loves in a nursing home? Has she ever done anything nice for anyone in a nursing home? Has she ever donated time to a nursing home? I guess not. Those things would not be worthwhile to her.
I bet she changes her tune if she lives to be a senior or has to reside in a nursing home because her children grow up thinking just like her.
ETA Any time my husband has been transported to the hospital or a doctor’s appointment, his medical directive travels with him. It is required by the nursing home and ambulance companies. It is also the first thing the ambulance staff asks. It has been this way the entire four years he has been in the nursing home.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
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Post by sassyangel on Aug 5, 2020 20:11:44 GMT
If you're reading this as a mom of young kids and feel "less" because you can't afford to do all the things one poster says make life worth living, please don't. I promise my kids had just as much fun catching green anole lizards in the backyard and building a fort out of appliance boxes as anyone ever did at Disney World. I reckon that was a normal upbringing for the vast majority of the Pea kids, whether there was the money to do nonstop trips or not. Children thrive on using their imaginations, on make-believe and even on being bored sometimes...it teaches them tons of valuable life. skills alongside some exciting trips to museums, shows and the like, don't you think? Sorry but that's not bullying - name calling, yes, but not bullying. And nor is my pointing it out bullying either. We really must use that word more accurately and cautiously because every time it's wrongly flung out there it weakens the case for people who are truly bullied. Agreed. I was trying to think of a way to nicely state this, like you did. Its not bullying in the least. And it does a disservice to people who truly are. |
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Post by Merge on Aug 5, 2020 20:16:19 GMT
If you're reading this as a mom of young kids and feel "less" because you can't afford to do all the things one poster says make life worth living, please don't. I promise my kids had just as much fun catching green anole lizards in the backyard and building a fort out of appliance boxes as anyone ever did at Disney World. I reckon that was a normal upbringing for the vast majority of the Pea kids, whether there was the money to do nonstop trips or not. Children thrive on using their imaginations, on make-believe and even on being bored sometimes...it teaches them tons of valuable life. skills alongside some exciting trips to museums, shows and the like, don't you think? Sorry but that's not bullying - name calling, yes, but not bullying. And nor is my pointing it out bullying either. We really must use that word more accurately and cautiously because every time it's wrongly flung out there it weakens the case for people who are truly bullied. I actually did my required online compliance training for bullying prevention this morning! Bullying is repeated harm or threat of harm from a person who is perceived to have more power than the target. One-off negative interactions, while not necessarily great, do not constitute bullying. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Aug 5, 2020 20:32:39 GMT
I mentioned this on another post, but my sister works at a senior mobile home community and the seniors there do not wear masks and they are not social distancing. This is in Hidalgo county which is a hotspot. Only difference is these seniors are mostly Hispanic and lower income. Sister is annoyed that so many come into her workspace and laugh at the fact that they forgot to wear their mask. She is about to put in her resignation. My parents live in a different community, also in Hidalgo county and they are not social distancing either. Oh well, nothing I can do about it. Why do seniors think they are invincible? Why do people think seniors need to live forever? Americans have this weird attitude that values quantity of life over quality of life. They’re old. They want to spend whatever time they have left with their family and friends and if they die, then they die. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not seeing old people, isolating them, the rules surrounding nursing homes, don’t seem reasonable to me at all. Being warehoused isn’t living. Sigh. This senior doesn’t plan to live forever, but I’m damn sure not ready to go just yet. Seniors do not like the isolation, but at some point there will be a vaccine, so there may be some permanent lifestyle changes, but there will be a new normal eventually. Dying by yourself hooked up to a ventilator does not signal quality of life. Think before you type. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Aug 5, 2020 20:41:27 GMT
You're an adult. Old enough to realize the difference between a temporary difficulty and a permanent situation. This is temporary. I know it doesn't feel like it, five months in, but it's temporary. I hope no one would be wiling to end their life over a temporary situation. I think that part of the issue is that, even if I can accept it’s temporary, I’m losing this time. I don’t want future time, I want this time, when my kids are these ages. I’m losing this part of their childhood. I don’t care if I get time in the future, that’s not the time I want. I’ll happily give away or lose out on that time because it has no value to me. So, it doesn’t matter to me if I don’t have the time in the future. I don’t particularly care if I come out on the other side if the other side is years away. And I think that’s a valid choice. I can understand being sad about that. But I am feeling concerned about you. Many people are stressed out/depressed right now. However, you have made some statements that are worrying.. I will add my voice to those asking you to seek some help. |
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Post by epeanymous on Aug 5, 2020 20:46:01 GMT
My 88-year-old father did seven weeks of five-day-a-week radiation for oral cancer this spring, and he didn’t do it so he could die.
I spent my childhood going every Sunday for years to visit my grandmother in her facility. I also had my other grandmother living with us most of my middle school/teen years. I also had a volunteer position with Meals on Wheels and at the Department of Aging in high school. I think trying to make broad statements about what elderly people want is about as easy as making broad statements about what people in their 20s want.
Anyhow, I took two of my kids out to an island over the past few days. We hiked outdoors around every state park there, tracked deer, and drank tea on the back porch of our rented cabin overlooking the water. They were supposed to get to go on a trip to London in May with me, and our whole family was supposed to be in Maine at the house we rent there for a month this summer. They are missing their soccer season right now, and they are incredibly into soccer. Missing the things they wanted to do was a disappointment for them and for me, but you know what — they had a fantastic time at the cabin, and so did I.
There are real issues that people are having with sickness and unemployment, and there are genuine disappointments and milestones many of us can’t experience (like many people here, I had a 2020 senior in high school, eg). But so much of this, outside of genuine material need and health, is what we are choosing to make of it.
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Olan on Aug 5, 2020 21:06:52 GMT
I think if anyone is genuinely concerned about a pea who is showing signs of mental illness according to some pea psychological online evaluation, that pea should be given grace and space. Mention of suicidal thought means stop poking. Whose good is it serving?
Also damn STD’s and the elderly😳. I saw cess pool and went off to research how swine flu spread in retirement communities. No idea the google path I’d be led down. Millennials are really getting shafted nobody will be able to retire to nice little retirement communities for orgies and late in life sexual discovery 🤣
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Mystie on Aug 5, 2020 21:07:47 GMT
They are superficial. The people I love, those are the things worth living for. If I contract Covid and kill my mother, my relationship with her won't be simply postponed or required to wear a mask and stay 6 ft away, it will be over. There are a lot of really worthwhile pursuits that one can do while isolating from those outside of your household. And for you to imply otherwise is insulting. There are ways to continue relationships as well. Zoom and skype exist. They are fun. My friend and I baked sourdough bread together videoing over Facebook messenger. What fun we had checking in every hour and kneading our loaves of bread together. This is something we never would have done if not for Covid. You just have to be creative. Maybe it is because I have a mental illness. I have trained myself to be creative and celebrate joy wherever I find it. The level of gratitude I feel for a pleasant day is something maybe the average person doesn't understand. I admit, during this virus time in our collective lives, so many people are looking so damn shallow to me. I have been thinking a lot about resiliency lately. You seem like a very resilient person. I think some people are wired to have a better outlook on life, but others gain it through adversity, experiences and watching others show resiliency. There are some things in my life right now that I have felt pretty hopeless over at times, but then I recall all of the people I know who have one thing after the next happen in their lives and they get through it. Or people who have lived through wars or natural disasters and truly lost everything. I think in a lot of situations, we have not had the life experiences that help to create resiliency. This is one of those experiences. Some people are able to see some positive come out of it, despite being sad, angry, and anxious about what is happening (or not happening) in our lives. Others are having a harder time with that. It's hard for me to understand the viewpoint that life isn't worth living if one can't go to plays or other events. The most we can do is to enjoy the time we do have with our loved ones and see the positives. One friend just posted that she has really connected with her son who is going to college in a few weeks. Prior to the shutdown he was in all kinds of activities and was never home. Now they go for daily walks, have dinner together, and are enjoying each other's company. She is grateful to have had this time with him and it will be even harder to send him to college. He also missed out on a lot of activities and events that he was planning on or had earned through different achievements with his music. But they were looking at what they had gained rather than what they had lost. I think the saddest part about myshelly's posts is that she does not seem to be able to do that. We all have things that we have lost out on during the pandemic. It is what we do with those feelings that matters. Getting stuck in anger or hopelessness does not help the situation. I really appreciate your thoughts on this. I've thought a bit about resilience, too...I never thought I was a strong person, but I have had to be this year, and I've surprised myself a little bit. Now that I've moved through the worst of my cancer treatment, I'm looking around and having a delayed reaction to the covid situation, kind of catching up with the rest of the world. I have to figure out how to make this work. I have to stretch and reach out and grow even though it feels like I'm chained down sometimes. I'm having to learn how to manage my mental illness in new ways so it doesn't drag me down. I have to find resources inside myself, and I didn't quite know I could do that, until this year. It's hard and awful sometimes, and I'm sad, but I have to get through the day to day. I'm just thinking out loud here. Thanks for bringing up resilience. This whole thread gives me a lot to ponder. |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Aug 5, 2020 21:42:02 GMT
I'm having to learn how to manage my mental illness in new ways so it doesn't drag me down. I have to find resources inside myself, and I didn't quite know I could do that, until this year. Proud of you!! |
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Post by mollycoddle on Aug 5, 2020 22:01:14 GMT
I have been thinking a lot about resiliency lately. You seem like a very resilient person. I think some people are wired to have a better outlook on life, but others gain it through adversity, experiences and watching others show resiliency. There are some things in my life right now that I have felt pretty hopeless over at times, but then I recall all of the people I know who have one thing after the next happen in their lives and they get through it. Or people who have lived through wars or natural disasters and truly lost everything. I think in a lot of situations, we have not had the life experiences that help to create resiliency. This is one of those experiences. Some people are able to see some positive come out of it, despite being sad, angry, and anxious about what is happening (or not happening) in our lives. Others are having a harder time with that. It's hard for me to understand the viewpoint that life isn't worth living if one can't go to plays or other events. The most we can do is to enjoy the time we do have with our loved ones and see the positives. One friend just posted that she has really connected with her son who is going to college in a few weeks. Prior to the shutdown he was in all kinds of activities and was never home. Now they go for daily walks, have dinner together, and are enjoying each other's company. She is grateful to have had this time with him and it will be even harder to send him to college. He also missed out on a lot of activities and events that he was planning on or had earned through different achievements with his music. But they were looking at what they had gained rather than what they had lost. I think the saddest part about myshelly's posts is that she does not seem to be able to do that. We all have things that we have lost out on during the pandemic. It is what we do with those feelings that matters. Getting stuck in anger or hopelessness does not help the situation. I really appreciate your thoughts on this. I've thought a bit about resilience, too...I never thought I was a strong person, but I have had to be this year, and I've surprised myself a little bit. Now that I've moved through the worst of my cancer treatment, I'm looking around and having a delayed reaction to the covid situation, kind of catching up with the rest of the world. I have to figure out how to make this work. I have to stretch and reach out and grow even though it feels like I'm chained down sometimes. I'm having to learn how to manage my mental illness in new ways so it doesn't drag me down. I have to find resources inside myself, and I didn't quite know I could do that, until this year. It's hard and awful sometimes, and I'm sad, but I have to get through the day to day. I'm just thinking out loud here. Thanks for bringing up resilience. This whole thread gives me a lot to ponder. Resiliency is such an important word, esp. now. Things are not good. If there is one thing that I have learned as I have moved through life (that has helped me) it is that bad situations don’t last forever. That thought has helped me weather a lot of life’s storms. We will get through this. With sadness and with scars. But we will get through it. Hopefully with a different administration! 😁 |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
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Post by Mystie on Aug 5, 2020 22:01:57 GMT
I'm having to learn how to manage my mental illness in new ways so it doesn't drag me down. I have to find resources inside myself, and I didn't quite know I could do that, until this year. Proud of you!! Aw, thank you. That means a lot. |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Aug 5, 2020 22:11:25 GMT
Resiliency is such an important word, esp. now. Things are not good. If there is one thing that I have learned as I have moved through life (that has helped me) it is that bad situations don’t last forever. yup. and kids are champs at the whole resiliency thing. My supervisor's daughter started her first day of (at-home) kindergarten today... the mom was really sad that the daughter would miss out on the 'dropping her off for her first day of school' experience. But her DH pointed out to her that she's STILL excited about her 'first day' of school, and when she CAN go back to school safely, THEN she'll have her 'first day being dropped off' experience. She's not missing out on that experience, it's just changing. (IMO, I think the disappointment was more on the mom's part, because the daughter's experience isn't what the mom *thought* it would be; more upsetting to the mom than the daughter. And in my opinion, this is the same viewpoint that myshelly has, only hers is magnified 1000x. The life that you get is the one you have, right now. Not the one you *wish* you were going to have.) and by the way: I'm 51, and I've never gone to a Disney park in.my.entire.life. My existence up to this point has been empty, apparently. |
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