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Post by prapea on Aug 5, 2020 22:14:12 GMT
I wish my grandma was alive today to see how far I came in life. My kid is lucky to have both sets of grandparents and I remind them to take care of their health because we all want them to be at our kid’s graduation and all his life events as long as they are able.
Who died and made us the king and queen to decide the quantity vs. quality with our kids and our parents? You wanna kill your parents young, knock yourself out. But don’t come in here and act like Trump. “There is only one way and that is my way and I am going to block everything else ya’ll say.”
A guy I know has been going out and behaving like there is no pandemic while his wife and kids are staying put. When I asked him, he said, “if I don’t go out I will die of a heart attack from staying home.” I told him that he does die of a heart attack, he goes alone. But with his irresponsible behavior, he is going to take his wife, kids and god knows who else he is meeting outside. He can go kill himself with Covid if he wants, but he has no right to give it to others and kill others when he can avoid it.
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Post by femalebusiness on Aug 5, 2020 22:24:59 GMT
Why do seniors think they are invincible? I don't! Me neither. I'm old but not stupid. I'm keeping my butt in the house as much as possible and wearing a mask when I go out. I believe that Covid could kick my ass. |
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Post by femalebusiness on Aug 5, 2020 22:34:48 GMT
My sister's ex lives in the Villages. He's an idiot. 🤣😂🤣 This made me belly laugh! |
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 5, 2020 22:37:45 GMT
My sister's ex lives in the Villages. He's an idiot. 🤣😂🤣 This made me belly laugh! And my dad lived there and put him on the idiot list. |
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Post by Merge on Aug 5, 2020 23:32:29 GMT
Me neither. I'm old but not stupid. I'm keeping my butt in the house as much as possible and wearing a mask when I go out. I believe that Covid could kick my ass. I hope that all the senior peas will stay inside as much as possible, and stay safe. We're having a heck of a time keeping MIL inside (and we only know about what she admits to), but at least she lives in a tiny town in Montana. Still. At 74 she doesn't need to be taking any risks. My kids are very attached to her, as she's their only living grandparent, and they would like her around for another 20 years at least. |
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Post by snugglebutter on Aug 6, 2020 0:52:58 GMT
But you're not, are you? Presumably, they're there with you all day every day, it's up to you what you make of that. I view all of this as lost time.
I have a homeschooling mom friend who's 15 year old died in a car accident last January. She was the youngest and last child still at home. THAT is lost time.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 6, 2020 0:55:57 GMT
I view all of this as lost time.
I have a homeschooling mom friend who's 15 year old died in a car accident last January. She was the youngest and last child still at home. THAT is lost time. I’m so sorry. That is awful. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Aug 6, 2020 0:58:50 GMT
Wow this thread sure did get off topic lol.
For those missing milestones I think it’s ok to be upset. Missing out on the normal senior class stuff sucks, not having a normal first day of kindergarten, not being able to have your planned wedding, missing seeing your family and maybe new family members sucks. We can only do what we can and make the best of what we have. Knowing that the holidays this year are going to be quiet and pretty lonely I’m trying to think of little extras we can do to make it more special for our little family. While not the holiday we would choose it will be what we make of it just like every other day. We can wallow in what we can’t do or we can get creative and figure out other things we can do. I’m not saying that there haven’t been days that I have wallowed but I’m trying hard to just keep going. Everyday may not be exciting but it is what it is now. This is a temporary situation. It’s lasting longer than we would like but hopefully we will come out the other side with some new knowledge or insight snd a new appreciation for what we have. Right now for us it is really the little things we are trying to enjoy.
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Post by dizzycheermom on Aug 6, 2020 1:03:55 GMT
You're an adult. Old enough to realize the difference between a temporary difficulty and a permanent situation. This is temporary. I know it doesn't feel like it, five months in, but it's temporary. I hope no one would be wiling to end their life over a temporary situation. I think that part of the issue is that, even if I can accept it’s temporary, I’m losing this time. I don’t want future time, I want this time, when my kids are these ages. I’m losing this part of their childhood. I don’t care if I get time in the future, that’s not the time I want. I’ll happily give away or lose out on that time because it has no value to me. So, it doesn’t matter to me if I don’t have the time in the future. I don’t particularly care if I come out on the other side if the other side is years away. And I think that’s a valid choice. I realize that there are many pages added on since this comment, but want to reply anyway. I think you should try to change how you look at it. Instead of "losing time" - try looking at the fact that you are gaining a lot of quality time with your children. We have been forced to slow down and stay home more. Life doesn't have to be all about outside experiences. Look at all the time you get to spend with your family. In a few months or years, how many of us will say that despite the fear of the virus, that we miss the quality time together. On a side note, I will share this. 5 years ago my daughter started having extreme chronic all over body pain. After 9 months she was diagnosed with a Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a genetic condition, as well as POTS. Our lives changed significantly when it all started. She missed most of her junior and senior hs years and couldn't go off to college, and instead attends a community college. She lost the majority of her friends, her hs cheer coach repeatedly told other students that she was faking. She had to go on homebound instruction, which one of her teachers equated to house arrest. I say all that to say this. My family has done this before. I sat home with her watching her scream in pain, cry at the loss of friends including both of our best friends, rumors, etc, and she never knew if she would feel up to any plans until it was time to go, not to mention whether she would have to go back home early. It does get a little old to see people REPEATEDLY saying that they and their seniors are DEVASTATED to miss graduation or Prom. While my daughter has gotten better, it will always be day by day. She is in nursing school and after a day of clinicals, may have to spend a whole day or more in pain, and may have to miss social engagements bc of the pain. But even though she has been through it before, she knows that we all must do our part. So be happy and grateful that your children are healthy and you aren't staying at home bc they PHYSICALLY CAN'T GO ANYWHERE. Enjoy the quality time with them. You are still getting this time together. We will all get through this and back to our busy lives. |
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Post by maryland on Aug 6, 2020 1:17:00 GMT
Resiliency is such an important word, esp. now. Things are not good. If there is one thing that I have learned as I have moved through life (that has helped me) it is that bad situations don’t last forever. yup. and kids are champs at the whole resiliency thing. My supervisor's daughter started her first day of (at-home) kindergarten today... the mom was really sad that the daughter would miss out on the 'dropping her off for her first day of school' experience. But her DH pointed out to her that she's STILL excited about her 'first day' of school, and when she CAN go back to school safely, THEN she'll have her 'first day being dropped off' experience. She's not missing out on that experience, it's just changing. (IMO, I think the disappointment was more on the mom's part, because the daughter's experience isn't what the mom *thought* it would be; more upsetting to the mom than the daughter. And in my opinion, this is the same viewpoint that myshelly has, only hers is magnified 1000x. The life that you get is the one you have, right now. Not the one you *wish* you were going to have.) and by the way: I'm 51, and I've never gone to a Disney park in.my.entire.life. My existence up to this point has been empty, apparently. I was just telling my kids that if the pandemic was when they were starting 1st grade (my kids didn't go to kindergarten, not required in PA), I would have been so happy to have them at home and learn from home! I am a sahm, so don't have to worry about childcare or working and taking care of kids. But my youngest is in high school, and I am so sad that she may not get her senior year in school. It sounds like your supervisor has a good attitude about the 1st day of school, something to look forward to. |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Aug 6, 2020 1:28:20 GMT
Watching my children grow into cool humans is definitely worth less than watching a NASCAR race. For sure. I'm questioning all the growing up years with my kids when we couldn't afford to do any of those things - we never visited Disney, never took them to shows, never took fancy vacations. They wore a lot of hand me downs and Goodwill clothes. I guess all the fun we had and the memories we made going to the park, doing crafts and playing make believe weren't enough to make our lives worth living and I should have just ended it all for all of us. (If you're reading this as a mom of young kids and feel "less" because you can't afford to do all the things one poster says make life worth living, please don't. I promise my kids had just as much fun catching green anole lizards in the backyard and building a fort out of appliance boxes as anyone ever did at Disney World.) I have 5 brothers and sisters. There were bountiful times in our home and there were lean times. My father grew up poor and hungry and so did my mom. My parents taught us to be grateful for our safe, clean little house and our full bellies. They gave us the gift of perspective. Life was hard for me in a lot of ways that forced me to be resilient. I have survived a lot worse than missing out on concerts and vacations, but I like to think I'd have gained this perspective without adversity because of the values that were instilled in me by my parents. Likewise, I hope we are teaching our boys how to face adversity with grace, optimism and strength. Living in a dystopian novel sucks. But we don't have to look too far to see reminders of how amazingly well we live compared to most of the world. I was 40 when my mom died and she was 63 and it was still not enough time with her. I would venture to say that myshelly has not lost anyone dear to her. Or, if she has, she's cold af because her whole attitude of "well, they're old and close to death, anyway" is disgusting. |
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Post by maryland on Aug 6, 2020 1:40:44 GMT
I don’t post very often but I am going to say my piece and then may block myshelly. Until the nursing home that my husband is in was locked down on March 12, I drove over an hour each way every other day to visit him. I was there so often other residents thought I worked there. Yes, there are some there that live in an comatose state but the majority are finding joy everyday. They are loved by me and the staff and lots of activities are planned regularly. Of course the majority would prefer to still be in their own homes. Unfortunately they are there for reasons that prevent living in their own home. But there are those that were homeless and are living a much more healthy and enjoyable life in the nursing home. I have yet to talk with any that say they would prefer death. I continue to visit my husband thru a window at least twice a week. I live alone and have not been in a store except the very occasional run to a Dollar General to get milk and bread since March 12. I either use curb pickup or have my groceries delivered. I have only seen my son a few times thru a glass door. I did not get to see him get married. The wedding that was planned had to be cancelled and instead they were married outside the city county building by the mayor with no family in attendance. I have allowed no visitors or family in my house. Why you may ask? Because even though I am a senior, I am not ready to die. I am doing everything I can to stay healthy so I can be allowed back in the nursing home to hug and kiss my husband and visit the other residents that I have grown to love. Selfish idiots like myshelly are preventing families being together again. I hope she enjoys Thanksgiving and Christmas with her family although she will probably be considering suicide because perhaps it won’t be the holidays she usually has. I will spend mine visiting thru a window and a glass door. How often has she even been in a nursing home? Has she had someone she loves in a nursing home? Has she ever done anything nice for anyone in a nursing home? Has she ever donated time to a nursing home? I guess not. Those things would not be worthwhile to her. I bet she changes her tune if she lives to be a senior or has to reside in a nursing home because her children grow up thinking just like her. ETA Any time my husband has been transported to the hospital or a doctor’s appointment, his medical directive travels with him. It is required by the nursing home and ambulance companies. It is also the first thing the ambulance staff asks. It has been this way the entire four years he has been in the nursing home. Thank you for posting. I agree with you! I hope you can see your husband soon. I think that's wonderful that you have become close to other residents. |
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Aug 6, 2020 1:45:50 GMT
Well, we already know at least one dumbass that lives there. Is that necessary? I will neither confirm nor deny that others who named names are naming the name I was not naming. |
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Aug 6, 2020 2:04:21 GMT
Well, we already know at least one dumbass that lives there. WOW! Bully much? Totally unnecessary. Boo fucking hoo. |
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Post by h2ohdog on Aug 6, 2020 2:23:33 GMT
Why do seniors think they are invincible? I don't! thank you for speaking for us "no death wish for me” seniors. |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Aug 6, 2020 3:00:17 GMT
thank you for speaking for us "no death wish for me” seniors. I surely do not have a death wish, but I will say when the time comes that I can no longer take care of me, I would like the choice to go with death with dignity. |
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 6, 2020 3:11:50 GMT
I don’t post very often but I am going to say my piece I'm so glad you shared your story.  When I feel sorry for what I'm missing out on because of this pandemic I give my dad a call. He is incredibly lonely and isolated right now but absolutely interested in living still, sort of impatiently for a greatgrandchild to show up (his sister already has 8). This isn't the hardest trial he's been through in his 91 years, but it isn't easy either. He was finally able to visit mom (in a dementia care home) for an hour last week. There has only been 1 COVID case in their area in the last week and very few overall, so things are moving slowly to opening up. |
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,463 
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Post by katybee on Aug 6, 2020 7:38:43 GMT
Why do people think seniors need to live forever? Americans have this weird attitude that values quantity of life over quality of life. They’re old. They want to spend whatever time they have left with their family and friends and if they die, then they die. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not seeing old people, isolating them, the rules surrounding nursing homes, don’t seem reasonable to me at all. Being warehoused isn’t living. OMG. It’s a horrible death! You’re hooked up to a ventilator… And a feeding tube... And a catheter… And you’re wearing a diaper… You can’t talk… You can’t eat… you’re completely alone… Your friends and family cannot visit you when you’re in the hospital with CV 19… If you’re lucky, they let one person come in To say goodbye. You’re basically suffocating. It’s not dignified… It’s not peaceful… It’s torture. I watched my dad suffer on a ventilator for weeks before he died. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I can’t decide if you’re a real-life grown-up, or a spoiled, vacuous teenager who’s been punking us all for years now... |
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Post by wholarmor on Aug 6, 2020 10:57:21 GMT
Why do people think seniors need to live forever? Americans have this weird attitude that values quantity of life over quality of life. They’re old. They want to spend whatever time they have left with their family and friends and if they die, then they die. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Not seeing old people, isolating them, the rules surrounding nursing homes, don’t seem reasonable to me at all. Being warehoused isn’t living. OMG. It’s a horrible death! You’re hooked up to a ventilator… And a feeding tube... And a catheter… And you’re wearing a diaper… You can’t talk… You can’t eat… you’re completely alone… Your friends and family cannot visit you when you’re in the hospital with CV 19… If you’re lucky, they let one person come in To say goodbye. You’re basically suffocating. It’s not dignified… It’s not peaceful… It’s torture. I watched my dad suffer on a ventilator for weeks before he died. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I can’t decide if you’re a real-life grown-up, or a spoiled, vacuous teenager who’s been punking us all for years now... So sorry for your loss. That's horrible. |
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,463
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Post by katybee on Aug 6, 2020 20:51:27 GMT
OMG. It’s a horrible death! You’re hooked up to a ventilator… And a feeding tube... And a catheter… And you’re wearing a diaper… You can’t talk… You can’t eat… you’re completely alone… Your friends and family cannot visit you when you’re in the hospital with CV 19… If you’re lucky, they let one person come in To say goodbye. You’re basically suffocating. It’s not dignified… It’s not peaceful… It’s torture. I watched my dad suffer on a ventilator for weeks before he died. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I can’t decide if you’re a real-life grown-up, or a spoiled, vacuous teenager who’s been punking us all for years now... So sorry for your loss. That's horrible. Thank-you. To be clear—he died several years ago—not from covid. It’s a horrible way to “live” no matter what the cause. I think that’s why I am so fearful of getting it myself... |
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