edie3
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,117
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Aug 26, 2020 22:50:37 GMT
I am friends with someone I went to high school with. Our political views are very similar, and I have DM her many questions. I had an idea to make make her a shirt using my Silhouette, and asked her for her t shirt size. She responded with the info. Now that the shirt is finished, I asked for her address to send her some "happy mail". She has not responded! I have known her forever, but do you think I freaked her out? She has seen my question about her address. I am not sure what to do. I would hate for her to think I am a stalker or weird or something like that. But I really think she would love the shirt. What would you do?
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Post by idahopea on Aug 26, 2020 22:53:40 GMT
I would wait to see if she responds. There are many times when I quickly check messages and don't respond to all of them right away, especially if I'm expecting an important one. Hopefully she's just been busy and will respond soon.
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edie3
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,117
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Aug 26, 2020 22:54:33 GMT
I found her address online, should I just mail it, and be done?
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 26, 2020 22:55:51 GMT
Maybe if this was someone you'd never met in real life. But someone you knew in high school who provided her tshirt probably knows that you were getting/making her a tshirt. I'd guess that perhaps she's not on whatever platform you asked for her address.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 26, 2020 22:56:21 GMT
I found her address online, should I just mail it, and be done? How long has it been?
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edie3
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,117
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Aug 26, 2020 22:58:36 GMT
A couple of days, and she has been on FB since I asked for her address.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,461
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Aug 26, 2020 22:58:41 GMT
I'd send "Hey! Just making sure you got my last message. Heading to the post office this week. Hope you're doing well!"
ETA: I routinely ignore my messages on FB Hate them. lol Just send ^ ^ to jog her memory that she saw it and forgot to respond.
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Post by katlady on Aug 26, 2020 23:03:18 GMT
She could be reluctant to receive a gift because then she feels like she will have to send you something. If you are positive she received your message, I would let it go. Or, reach out one more time and then drop It after that if there is no response.
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,493
Location: Colorado
Apr 26, 2017 6:14:47 GMT
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Post by snyder on Aug 26, 2020 23:07:59 GMT
I think if you asked her for her t-shirt size, that she would be okay with receiving one since she provided that information, but odd that she hasn't provided address. Its like why would she give you the t-shirt size. What did she think you were going to do with that info. I don't think I would just send it to the address found online as that might feel like you were stalking/sleuthing.
As pp said, send a reminder.
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 26, 2020 23:08:40 GMT
I would just reply again and say “I have a cute shirt I want to pop into the mail to you”
If she doesn’t respond I would not send it to her anyway
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edie3
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,117
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Aug 26, 2020 23:15:33 GMT
Okay, I just messaged her again telling her I have a shirt she will love, and just need her address. We will see. Thanks!
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Aug 26, 2020 23:21:14 GMT
A couple of days, and she has been on FB since I asked for her address. You can see on Messenger if a person has read your message. I’d check that first. Side note to reiterate what someone above said. I *loathe* Messenger. I wish there was a way to opt out but there isn’t. I rarely check it even when I see that I have a message.
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edie3
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,117
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Aug 26, 2020 23:27:46 GMT
You can see on Messenger if a person has read your message. I’d check that first. She has read all my messages, except for the one I just sent.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
 
Posts: 9,975
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Aug 26, 2020 23:27:59 GMT
I'm the kind of person who would write: "I swear I'm not a stalker or creepy, lol! Just made you something cute and wanted to pop it in the mail to you!"
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milocat
Drama Llama

Posts: 5,899
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Aug 26, 2020 23:39:48 GMT
I would wait to see if she responds. There are many times when I quickly check messages and don't respond to all of them right away, especially if I'm expecting an important one. Hopefully she's just been busy and will respond soon. I agree, she could have opened it but was too busy to reply. Now it's marked as read and she forgot to come back and reply. I do that. I wish there was a mark as unread on everything, so the bold reminds you to get back to it. ETA doesn't mean you haven't been back online, just means you forgot to go back to the message.
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edie3
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,117
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Aug 27, 2020 0:36:57 GMT
I'm the kind of person who would write: "I swear I'm not a stalker or creepy, lol! Just made you something cute and wanted to pop it in the mail to you!" That is pretty much what I said. I just know she will like the shirt, not my size, but I guess I could sleep in it.
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Post by sabrinae on Aug 27, 2020 0:40:36 GMT
Sometimes I check but don’t have time to reply. Then I forget to go back. I think it’s fine you sent another quick message.
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Post by ajsweetpea on Aug 27, 2020 0:44:57 GMT
Sometimes I check but don’t have time to reply. Then I forget to go back. I think it’s fine you sent another quick message. Exactly that! I sometimes read a message and get interrupted or occupied with something else and forget to respond. I’m sure she doesn’t think you are being creepy.
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Post by kluski on Aug 27, 2020 3:03:05 GMT
Well now I’m invested and want to know if she responds. So...btt
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Post by mom on Aug 27, 2020 3:06:04 GMT
Well now I’m invested and want to know if she responds. So...btt Me too. Im gonna need an update.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 27, 2020 3:07:40 GMT
If I had a nickel for every message I have forgotten to reply to...
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Post by Zee on Aug 27, 2020 3:19:20 GMT
Wherever I have offered to send someone something, I make sure to offer them an out in case they're just not comfortable with that. I'd send another message stating what you wanted to send and that you completely understand if she prefers not to share her address. I have online friends on other forums that I've sent things to over the years and always presented it that way to be sure no one feels creeped out  And I totally get not wanting to share addresses, either way but at least let her know what you wanted to send.
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edie3
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,117
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Aug 27, 2020 3:32:28 GMT
No reply last time I looked. I would really hate to loose her friendship, even if we just connect on FB.
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Post by ~summer~ on Aug 27, 2020 3:55:08 GMT
You won’t lose the friendship I often don’t reply to messages. If she doesn’t reply don’t harp or worry about it. Maybe she is self conscious of her address? I mean I highly doubt she thinks you are going to stalk her right?
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Aug 27, 2020 5:03:38 GMT
It’s strange she would give you her shirt size then not follow up, but she might be hesitating on her address because of Covid. I don’t like people bringing things to my house right now so maybe she’s the same way and doesn’t know how to respond.
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caangel
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,025
Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Aug 27, 2020 5:35:34 GMT
Maybe wait and ask for her address to send a Christmas Card.
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Post by Basket1lady on Aug 27, 2020 7:56:35 GMT
Messenger randomly stops giving me alerts to Messages. Because I’m not on FB a lot and the alert number is next to notifications number, I don’t always notice that I have a message. I’d give it a few days before I’d worry.
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Post by gillyp on Aug 27, 2020 8:16:36 GMT
I will own that I WOULD be that person freaked out. Maybe not freaked out but definitely uncomfortable and taken aback at someone wanting to send me clothing. But I’ve always been like that.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama

Posts: 7,077
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 27, 2020 10:19:35 GMT
I will own that I WOULD be that person freaked out. Maybe not freaked out but definitely uncomfortable and taken aback at someone wanting to send me clothing. But I’ve always been like that. Me too. But if I had been asked my size and replied, then I ought to have a pretty good idea of what might come next, so I probably wouldn't have given it in the first place. Is it because we're expected to enjoy surprises, and I don't? I never have. I don't believe I'm a control freak, I just like to be mentally and physically prepared wherever possible. Being surprised always makes my first reaction negative rather than what people expect, then everybody gets disappointed.
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Post by peachiceteas on Aug 27, 2020 10:29:42 GMT
This makes zero sense to me. If I didn't want someone to have my address, I would have nipped it in the bud straight away. I wouldn't have sent my t-shirt size at all. At that point, I would have simply ignored the message. I found her address online, should I just mail it, and be done? I definitely wouldn't do this - if you were still considering it. I would find it upsetting if I had been asked my address, chose to not disclose it but someone then seeked it out - even if it was to send me a kind gesture. If she doesn't respond, I would just let it go.
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